YaNanNallari

I think for me I've just recognized it without trying that if I perceive someone as hot is just me adding something to reality. What I mean is that "eating bananas is evil" is a very similar projection as "someone is hot". Although other people have told you that certain kind of people are hot it's after all just a way to view things. And while knowing these things I'm also aware of that just being with a hot person doesn't bring me deep and lasting joy or happiness. I don't really see someone as hot anymore. I just see them the way they are and they're beautiful. Another reason you probably want to have someone good looking by your side is that you want them to make you feel strong/good in some way. And also to be perceived that way by other people, since they may like your hot girlfriend and you might be a bit addicted to validation from them.

(These are just my opinions) You really want to have someone who is a "high stimulation junkie" by your side? You know that it would either rub off on you or you would have to be on the watch for it not to affect you all the time. I rather am alone and not have bad influence while I raise my consciousness and do whatever else I do. Anyway enjoy life and all that. Once you become okay with who you are and don't care about "missing out" on something the junkies are getting then you will be more attractive. You aren't worried about how other people will perceive you etc. If you have some inner work done then you can use that to charm the ladies and you will also recognize people who aren't stimulation junkies easier (I don't know what level you're at). You don't have to bring everything to the table right away and if they find out how you're living you will then be able to say how you live without being fazed by it and ok with however they react. You can tell it with warmth and confidence. If they after that decline it's probably good for you since you might waste time on them. Just keep doing something. If you're really living a great life the way you're living right now then surely it won't bother you that much what others think. This is after you start getting some results of course. Right now it seems like you're worried for yourself as well. Thinking it isn't acceptable to live that way. It may be a sad realization that there aren't many people who want the same things as you do in life but you'll get over it. It can be that it's other people who are being very silly living like junkies instead of you.

Your mind might tell you that you're doing those things for certain pressured reasons even when you're doing them for good ones. Of course it's possible you're doing them for neurotic reasons or it varies as well. The thing you were doing haven't actually changed, just the way you see them. Eating healthy for example is still beneficial even if you wanted to do something else more right now. Some things just are necessary for other things to happen. The way you see them in general is very much a view on things. It's not really necessary to focus on how you feel about things right now. Just try to approach them in a meditative way. I'd plan out what are the things you want to do in life now. Become more clear about it, write it down. If something you want seems too abstract you can think about the practical things to do for it. This is just how I'd think about it

Just don't confuse confidence and arrogance. Usually our society has those as synonyms without realizing it. I think confidence requires acceptance and being ok with the possibility of failure so that you may not even think about it.

I think that it's so much about the work you're doing but about why you're doing it. You can do seemingly selfish things for good reasons and seemingly selfless things for selfish reasons. Of course knowledge will help choose the path well regardless of your current level of awareness. Also when it comes to jobs or companies it might be better for someone looking to improve themselves to have the money than someone who would use the power very carelessly.

I just do concentration practice followed by either "do-nothing" or according to Leo's mindfulness video. And self-inquiry.

I disagree. I don't think anyone deserves anything at the bottom level. Love doesn't have to do something with deserving although we might limit our love with such beliefs. We can all be loved and to me it seems like a natural state for us.

I just like to think that I don't have to be like anything.

For me counting days would make fapping something I'd avoid in egoic ways. Separating it and making it seem evil. I'd just let it go and be and not even care or think about it. It requires admitting when you do fap though, but even then I wouldn't make it a bad thing and that would help me let it go. Of course you can be happy about a no fap streak but imo see it as abundance and something that will enrich your life instead of expecting it to make you happy to not fap for 2 weeks. If I were to be counting days for it it probably wouldn't be something like that. For me it would have to come more naturally. I also have no need to track it since I don't doubt whether no fap is good for me or not. Having energy is nice. But naturally you will count days though if no fap is a thing you've been really struggling with and an important part of your life. For me I have other things to focus on, like the beauty of the current moment or what I'm doing.

Why would you not take action? Assume everything is meaningless. Why would you not then take action? It is not very truthful to not take action then. If you say you don't want to then realize that you doesn't even exist. It's not a very good reason not to. Thinking like this makes me face some of the excuses that are holding me back. To face them I meditate and do self inquiry. Choose to do something. Don't care whether you are really feeling it or want it. Don't give your mind leverage that way. It is your best bet anyway and not doing anything seems selfish to me. I could help others in my life and so can you. Help yourself first now. If you get overwhelmed when trying to do something that just means you didn't do it once. You can grow and try again, because eventually you will be able to.

It has been scientifically proven that a person who meditates has a "younger brain".

It's most likely a crush. Falling "in love". Doesn't mean there can't also be curiosity though. The thing with romances, love and many other things is that although they are great to enjoy from it can become something you start craving for to the point where it affects your self-actualization a lot. A better way to create those positive emotions is to just work on yourself and meditate. That requires a lot of patience because the lasting results are far from instant. Accept your want for that emotion though, pushing it or demonizing only makes it stronger. But hey it's totally fine to spend some time with her and learn new things and get some positive vibes. Your mind might try to really get to a solution of I should or shouldn't date etc but just let go a bit and see how it goes with awareness and without expectations while enjoying the moment. You'll then be able to better tell whether you should keep at it or not. Or that's what I would do. If you feel warmer with her then maybe there's something to learn from it. Maybe that's how you should be feeling more often? Maybe not. Maybe she's showing you a better way to feel towards yourself or towards the people you want to have close in life.

When in a bad mood you see the future colored with that mood as well. It might not look so good but it can and indeed will change. Even if you feel like no progress was made there for sure has been progress. It's not so important to measure progress anyway in this case. It's more about accepting what is now than trying to hold on to progress and success very neurotically. When it comes to bullies just know that they aren't happy living they way they are. They might even claim to be, but it's not really true. It can be important to realize that the way they live will not give good results in the end at all. Once this is seen then you will have an easier time not caring about it and ignoring them. Your emotional pain might still stay though. Try to feel the pain without thinking about it. Only the feeling, no thoughts. You'll be alright.

For me dancing can help release energy if I feel like I have too much. Not sure if this is the way to go but it's what I do right now before learning more.

Regarding identity you don't have to have one. Once you understand that not relating to people and being alone is fine then you will be able to still connect with people and talk to them normally even if you can't relate to them. Relating to others isn't necessary, but know your basis similar to them even if you've figured something new out. Right now you have a perspective of needing an identity. It's sort of your identity, a person who needs an identity. You don't need any roles, letting go of them and having your natural inspiring self is enough. You can just follow the values of spiritual teachers or what Leo recommends for now. You won't go too wrong with them. You also don't have to think to yourself how different you are from others. It's totally fine to be different and it's only another distraction to worry about it. If you feel like you're socially awkward you could try to not force conversations too much and instead just see how other people converse. Not so much the words but the feeling and rhythm. After a while you start to get a hang of the basics and you'll develop your own style. I wouldn't stop meditating. Instead I would actually encourage you to watch leo's self-inquiry video, neti neti method and do some exercises that are in this forum in meditation area. This will give you more understand of what you are. Also his videos on enlightenment and nature of reality probably help. You might feel overwhelmed right now but that feeling will pass. Just push through and figure stuff out with patience and you'll be all good.

Even if you won't reach enlightenment the benefits of meditation and self-inquiry are still easily worth it in my opinion. It's a way up there, not as sudden of a jump in consciousness and action as you probably think right now. Are you doing everything everyday very efficiently, effortlessly and bringing good to everyone with your actions? If not, which is the case for 99,99% of people, you could have use for meditation. Not saying you have to, but I like to look at it this way. You talked about what we could do alternatively. Developing a skill is a great idea. If it's an useful one that is. Meditation and enjoying life is of course one skill to learn. For the others, why would you? To have fun and stuff like that? You'll be more fulfilled if you follow the path of meditation, so I'm choosing it.

Because we can't be fully aware so some action is necessary. There will almost always be some uncomfortable feelings and things you want to push through. Even if things won't work out then there are valuable lessons to be learned. Don't be much of a perfectionist regarding action when it comes to basic habits. Also remember that says in that video "if you really want to do it, then do it and watch the consequences." (Your minds thoughts may also lie about the motives, see how you feel about it deeply instead of just taking the first thought as a fact) I'd also watch this video and do the exercise. It teaches a perspective you could apply to other things than yourself as well.

Think about why you lie? Does it serve you or others? Is it necessary? Is it worth it to hold on to it? See that it might have pros and cons but it's not worth it to keep at it and accept that you might want to lie. You may have beliefs limiting that and you can try to deal with those. Why would you not want good for yourself if that means not lying? If you lie to your friends a lot you probably don't have a great self-esteem and you feel like you have to be something. Try to let go of whatever role you're playing or whatever you're trying to be so much. You can still go for good things but good stuff can come more naturally than as a role. At least not taking the role seriously is a good step. You can have enough acceptance from within you to like you. If you genuinely like yourself then others are more likely to like you too, but it might take a while to get to this point.

Do you guys have any recommendations for books or online sources for starting and understanding yoga? I'd greatly appreciate any help

I think it has to do with kinks if someone says they absolutely love it. I think kinks make people close down to themselves rather than open up to love. Of course in general our bodies have feel good reactions for that area and it can move energy around.

I wonder if I should buy some ninja af scarf for the way to school

Figured it out now. So I had a role of having to constantly do something brought back up due to having a finals type of exam just now yesterday. Now that I got a breather from studying I tuned into this problem and saw that I don't need to do something all the time. This role had made me see things as funny or sad. Although I was still calm and happy enough with that role it was still worse than nothing.

So I've noticed that for a while now I mostly react to things by seeing them as either sad or silly. Laugh or cry. I overall see my mood usually gravitating towards sadness although it's not how I feel all of the time at all. And I feel very comfortable being sad. It does feel sort of authentic and something I like to be right now. I'm also glad and grateful while being sad and probably many other emotions. Overall I'm aware that I just make that thing sad or funny and they are not that on their own. If I pay attention to anything then it usually is one of these two things and some things I just dismiss and they aren't either. I'm wondering if I'm unnecessarily making them funny or sad. Is my mind just making it to have meaning? Cause my mind likes to create special meaning for things, I think that's quite common. I think it could be a part of it but not always. Should I just be somehow seeing things as they are? Without reacting to them. It just honestly feels weird to react to things like this cause I don't know how others react and I'm just asking if I'm on the right path and what to do from here on out. I do also feel more energetic and happy and without a reason to see things as anything more often nowadays though but this thing is bothering me. I'm also feeling resistance to changing this sad/happy reacting but that's a common thing to feel resistance. I have no clue if this needs to be changed or what to think of it. How does someone love a person who is sad, this time it being myself?

@The Monk Another reason I posted this is to figure out if there was a more "productive" way to look at things or feel etc. I'm happy enough for sure and that isn't an issue right now. I'm happy and calm with being sad. Things just feel too simple or easy. Like, this is it?

You can ask for more practical advice and therapy forms from your psychologist. You can also look up different therapy forms yourself if you're interested, the basics are quite easy to understand. Do both overall. You can always quit therapy once you feel like it's not working at all, but feel free to talk to the therapist about it first. Maybe they can switch it up or address or bring up your problems better.