PetarKa

If you can't close an old chapter of your life, you won't be able to open a new one.

@electroBeam Dude your post ENLIGHTENED me! I've been having quite a hard time with other people asking for my reasons. Until now I've been hiding most of the "wierd" stuff, but this has been causing too many problems and stress in my life. I've had to mental gymnastics when I come up with "normal" reasons and it's been quite painful. Will give it a try! ?

The past couple of weeks (approximately 2 months) I have gotten out of a serious state of depression and suicidal thoughts. I won't explain why or how it happened for the sake of being concise. (I've talked about it in another thread.) Now I'm still in this state of indifferent depression and melancholy. I don't know what I want. I was actually asking myself what the best life for a human was. But does the "best" life really exist? Why is depression, pain, and felling lost in life worse than feelings of fulfillment, passion, and happiness? If everything is neutral in life, then what makes these so-called "negative" emotions bad and the "positive" emotions good. If I am wrong about this notion of "all things are neutral" and positive and negative emotions truly exist, then which emotions and things in life are the positive ones and which are the negative ones? Is pleasure something positive? What about fulfillment? What about growth? How about confusion? Pain? Certainty? Comfort? Uncertainty? You get what I'm getting at... This is a problem for me because I don't know what I want. Do I want pain and suffering? Do I want pleasure? What about growth and fulfillment? How about a mix of the "positive" and "negative" emotions? I genuinely don't know... This makes me depressed.

@Leo Gura How much is the list now? I couldn't see the price on the page. I'm planning on saving money for it as my parents will not allow it.

@Leo Gura Would love to know how you strategize about life on the micro level. I'm talking about the HOW, WHEN, WHERE. This wouldn't be a typical black-backdrop video. It would be something like a vlog. Maybe showing us footage of your notebook with plans about life (if you have sth like that (and if it's not sth private)). Maybe you could talk about your thought process and emotional processes while you strategize (consciously and subconsciously - throughout the day). Also you could share how other great people do this (if you've come acrosss sth like that in your research). This might be just a short video (or maybe not, who knows...), nevertheless I think it would be very valuable to many people. I have difficulty with these subtle details (how to start, with what issue, how to make decisions, in what format to write etc.). You might think these are just stupid minor details, but I find that w/o understanding how to do this, I just sit down for 60 min to "strategize" and I just sit there like: "OK, so now what?" and end up just mindlessly fumbling around...

How can you continue refining and discovering your values more and more. Is there anything specific we need to know down the road (concerning this issue)? P.S. I feel like values are far more important than LP. For me I find that almost any LP is meaningful to me when it is aligned with my values. Do you agree?

@LifeLife I have some suggestions: Write your goal down on a sheet of paper: It will drill it into your subconscious and it will increase your chances of accomplishing it by 10x. Won't go into the details of that. Watch Leo's video How To Set Goals and do this EXACTLY for your goal. Practice self-acceptance: The Power Of Self-Acceptance. It will help a lot, seriously. It has in the past; I've overcome social anxiety using these 3 things 1-2 years ago. How To Become Confident Wish you the best! P.S. Where there's a will, there's a way.

@BeginnerActualizer OOPS! That was meant for @Juan Cruz Giusto . But who cares, you're a legend too! ????

@BeginnerActualizer You are a legend!

@Hardik jain Why not try practicing concentration? I've been doing it ever since Leo's video on it came out and as far as I can see, in such a short time of practice, I can see how I'm able to focus on ONE thing for longer periods and with a higher intensity. The trick is (and this is important) to concentrate on the object without wavering ONE BIT. That's why I do 5 consecutive 3 min sessions every day before meditation. My meditation sessions are much more enjoyable and effective afterwards.

When I heard that there is no free will, and also that there is no good or evil, right or wrong, I got REALLY depressed. I say things like "If there's no free will, then how can I stop myself from being depressed?" and I fell into a pool of depression. On top of that, this idea of reality being neutral (no good or bad) only enforced the depression and dark thoughts. I'm worried this will grow into something suicidal and then I say "If there is no good or bad, then what's the problem of death?". Then I get that the point of life is what you make it, it's what you want, the point is that you are here to live and you can do whatever you want, but also there will be consequences (good or bad, it doesn't matter) But then I say "How can I cotrol what I want? How can I stop myself from being depressed and even suicidal?" I feel a hell inside me, yet I still wonder "If there is no good or bad, then how can this be a 'hell'?". And that just throws me lower and lower. It's like I've been attacked from 3 sides all at once. I can't handle it. I was thinking of doing psychotherapy, but I'm affraid that this is too deep of an issue for an ordinary psychologist / therapist / doctor( it tackles the question of free will and the meaninglessness of reality). I was also thinking of asking for advice and wisdom from an enlightened individual... I don't know what to do. Please help.

I've kind of touched on this issue already in my "free will & no good or bad topic" though there are some other related topics related to motivation, happiness, values etc.: I don't know what to want, if that makes sense. I am starting to think that there is no point whether one is depressed or suffering in any sort of way OR one is happy, fulfilled, growing etc. (or anything in between those 2 extremes of the spectrum). In addition, I'm finding it difficult to take on your "ideals" for a great life and a great human being (becoming a sage, higher consciousness, enlightenment, life purpose etc.). I feel like I have forced myself to pursue these "ideals" just because I trust you as someone who apparently knows what he's talking about and now I'm questioning whether it truly is worth it. I mean why not live with pain? I'm confused. I don't know what I want...

I've watched all of Leo's vids on meditation and now after meditating for almost 2 years I feel like I have no clue about how to meditate properly. Currently I use the following approach (more or less): I ask myself the following question: What is happening right now? / What is my direct experience? / What is this thing called the present moment? But I don't know whether it's working or not. For all I know, I'm doing it right... Sometimes I get drowsy / bored and my eyes close and head falls down. Then I immediately shake myself up and remind myself to focus more and try as much as possible to be aware (whatever that means). So how does one meditate? Is it possible to apply the principle of practice (from the book Mastery by G. Leonard) to meditation? Do you practice meditation and as the weeks go by you get better and better at it or do you simply know how to meditate or not know ho to meditate? Is it skill that can be developed or do you simple understand one day how to do it? Do you progress linearly with meditation or is it like the Mastery curve i.e. plateaus and short up-bursts? Is it OK if I think at all during meditation? Isn't mindfulness meditation using thoughts in order to be more present (using notes, directing our attention)? Aren't guided meditations using thoughts (when the guide is speaking and using language i.e. thoughts)? What's the benefit / point of meditation? How does it work really? A lot of questions I asked...

@Dingus So I guess you're saying no one can answer my question for me?

Thank you guys! Though I am still confused about the idea that all things are neutral. I cannot get moving because of this. I rationalize to myself that pain, laughter, suffering, boredom, excitement, joy, wonder (basically all possible emotions) are equal and that it doesn't matter what I get. I cannot make a decision about what to pursue. Should I pursue joy, or maybe pleasure? How about fulfillment or perhaps sadness? What about melancholy? Is there such a thing as an ultimate feeling (maybe it's bliss)? I'm at a standstill. I don't know where to go... I'm wondering whether I even want growth and self-actualization. I might've been pursuing those things just because I had faith that Leo and the self-help industry knew what they were talking about. But is this what life is all about? What's the problem with pain and all of the "negative" emotions? I don't know what I want...

I feel you! I'm also in high school. Self-driven learning is much more powerful than forced learning. You can easily get good grades if you need them and use your free time for learning the things that will be important for your life. Use the 80/20 principle for getting good grades (if you need them). Contemplate deeply on what's important to learn and what's not (for you and your life, and for a human being in general). You might have profound insights. Just sharing what worked for me. Cheers!

@Leo Gura How did you reconcile this for yourself in your life? I feel helpless and you are one of the few people whose opinion on this matter I can fully appreciate, given that (as far as I can see) you've got this pretty well handled in your life. I'd at least want to know what kind of action to take based on someone's personal experience on the matter. I know you're a busy person but at this point I'm desperately looking for a solution...

(1) Right now this is the thing that keeps me back the most: Though I've worked through it to some extent (it's still bad though...). To elaborate: I cannot get myself motivated to pursue self-actualization (partly) because of this depression and also because of some belief in the back of my mind that I will continue sabotaging myself and that I'm doomed to live with self-sabotage for the rest of my life. Also because I say to myself "I refuse to accept other people's advice, I am just stubborn!". I don't know how I got myself into this mess. I think a lot of small things came up simultaneously, things like: hearing about no free will, reality is neutral, also some bickering with my parents and getting angry more often. I don't know what attitude to take about life and these topics. I don't know which of my beliefs are "rotten" and what kind of model would be a healthy model to take, given my specific situation...

Why is it better (or worse) to go vegan/vegetarian? What's the problem with diary products and also what's the problem with meat? Lastly, what kind of diets do you have - vegan/not?

Does / did anyone have resistance while discovering their values (during the LP course)? I went through all of the passes and got a pretty good list, but about 5 of the values, I found were not real values of mine. They were either abstract words and didn't know what they meant or they were just values I generated just so I can get the exercises over with, just for the sake of doing the exercise(s). Currently, I'm doing the 10 passes from scratch again, the same resistance is there again... Why is it there?

I've already written this as a comment on one of Leo's videos but more people will see it here: A simple way to help Leo out and to show one's gratitude toward the content he's giving for free (and even the course, book list etc.) is to hit the like buttons on his videos. For the record, I am not sponsoring Leo. Anyway, if Leo's videos get more likes, then Youtube will show his videos to more users and also more often. This will help spread the videos around and might grab people's attention. Personally, I went around and liked 50+ videos of his all at once. I think it'll increase the views on the videos quite a lot. So if any of you who value this kind of content usually forget to like the video (I know I do.), this is a reminder. Also, like the videos as they come out - week by week. Plus, we will have more self-actualizing people in the world. ???

Watch this video (it transformed me completely): Take notes on the video. Write it somewhere so you can look back on it every couple of days / weeks. Do the affirmations for at least 100 days (that's how long I did them). Start pushing your comfort zone one inch at a time by doing things you know you can but still bitch about (find the right balance for you). Two remarks about the affirmations: Instead of "I love being confident.", I used "I am naturally confident.". It resonated more with me. Each time you do the affirmations, visualize / imagine how your confidence level increases just a tad bit every day and how you become more & more independent of others' opinion. If you want to go all out, do them for 300 days. Write a checkmark (or anything similar) for every day you did the affirmations. Don't skip days or you will fall off track. Take my word for it, I was incredibly anxious and shy 1-2 years ago. In short, now I feel completely confident and like I've outgrown that. Do this! It's only 10 min a day. ?

@Jordan wang My experiemce exactly! I used to do physics and math, but only because my dad enforced physics as "the God" of science and this affected my thoughs about it - I "liked" it, though I didn't really. I hated every problem I solved. I somehow forced myself to do them and in doing so I became good at it. Long story short, I realized I had been manipulating myself and shortly afterwards I said "fuck it" to the whole thing. Now I'm at ground zero, doing the course, looking for a new path, having faith I'll find it.

@Dragallur It's worth it anyway. It's just a "click".

How can you classify emotions? Is it as simple as positive emotions and negative ones? But what about emotions like confusion, pleasure, strength, feeling lost, melancholy, or the mundane feeling you get from doing nothing special e.g. walking in your house? Is it really as simple as positives and negatives? What about emotions that are both "positive" and "negative" at the same time? Is there a simple answer to this question or even any kind of answer? Is there a more accurate classification of emotions? This baffles my mind...