ajasatya

@spicy_pickles about helping others, you may find out that we can only help those who know that they need help. and the best help we can offer is being happy. they will be curious or even inspired by your presence. be careful not to be cocky, though. we're better off if we have happy friends, not ill friends. your friendship circle may (very likely) change during this journey. you'll find happier and happier people as you progress on your own happiness.

wow! your reports are awesome!

enlightenment is the end of suffering that comes from ignorance. who'd want to suffer?

you can't know about this with your mind. you have yet to realize the truth of no-death and no-birth. if you touch it, you'll see that it's impossible to die. you're here right now. is it possible to exist consciously without being able to perceive the fact that you're simply here? it feels as if we were always here and there's no way out of IT.

take a break from meditation/self-inquiry and recover. come back when you're stable. these things can happen.

i found this technique "by accident". i was curious about the beginning of a thought, so i thought: "i want to witness the beginning of a thought". then i started to meditate. i went to total presence with one exhalation and i put myself in a diligent perspective, thinking "ok, where are you, thoughts, now? i want to see you coming." what happened? total silence. no thoughts! my insight the observer is just a thought and we cannot be conscious of two thoughts are the same time.

i was in the same situation as you are right now. finding a zen center and starting yoga classes was my salvation.

you can think like that. you can also think that the city is where human beings need help. why don't you start a meditation group or something like that? a zen sangha, maybe? if you want to do so, i can help you with that.

2016, oct 10th healthy meals actualized.org contributions compassive listening happiness sharing yogasanas meditation ashram duties my girlfriend gave me a fright while i was creating subtitles to leo's video. i was so focused! haha we talked about her mystical experiences from yesterday (sunday). she said that she was filled with love and i could see it in her eyes. she also said that she feels ready to experience complete celibate (no sex, no porn, no masturbation). as someone who's experienced it myself, i was very happy for her. it's a life changing experience! she could practice yoga with me, which made even happier. she's recovering from a lesion in her knee, and being able to practice yoga again is really something! after that, i went to the daissen ji sangha to practice zazen. i was happy that my friend from yesterday was there. he was able to sit for the whole session. i think he'll be able to keep going once a week! back at home, i cleaned the meditation hall and then started to write today's journal.

you may also try kinhin.

hello, @spicy_pickles i can see your struggle. there's nothing that you can grasp and say "this is me. i'm being myself" unless you're experiencing reality fully conscious, aka experiencing enlightenment. but about being someone or something, you have to stop trying to fool yourself and be aware that you're playing a role as a human being. ego is needed unless there could be no interaction. from my direct experience, i can recommend some practices for you to build an ego that won't cause trouble and will also increase your experience with any kind of relationship. become a listener. the dharma is so rare and almost everyone suffers deeply. learn about their sufferings by knowing what they have to say. develop a compassionate mind that is able to wish happiness for everyone around you. smile and look deeply into their eyes. this practice evokes sincerity. be gentle and stop demanding people's attention. this is a world of hungry ghosts. get out of that hole.

@Prabhaker nailed it. his first response says everything.

@Elzhi thank you. i really need your guidance. i shall include you in my list of spiritual teachers so you can be the only one there. peace, brother. it's easier to see when we're calm, but you feel special because you want to shake things up. how can we be special if we aim for separation and do not value listening properly?

hello, @Elzhi . i'm sorry for whatever you're going through in your life. and i'm sorry for everything you've been through. we can't go very far only with intellectual pride and preciosity. where is your heart?

@Orange don't believe in anybody. test and you'll find out. sincerity is about wanting to experience. there's no other way for spiritual growth or maturity.

hi, i found this book which is going to be the next one i'll read. our sexual energy is extremely powerful. how can we use it to increase the quality of our life experience?

even though there's no "i" that meditates, there's meditation, which is the practice of enlightenment. so one can experience his enlightened nature until he's convinced that he IS.

@Azrael i agree with the fact that the observer is a bunch of very close connected thoughts, memories, emotions and perceptions because the thoughts that arise come in specific patterns. but when i empty my mind with an exhalation and put myself as someone who wants to witness the beginning of thoughts, they don't come. if i empty my mind with an exhalation and just relax, after a while i'll just catch myself already inside a thought, missing its beginning. i certainly am open-minded to the possibility of being able to witness the beginning of a thought. i'll work with that thought gatekeeper technique. even if i never ever see the exact moment of the beginning of a thought, i can feel it's a very awareness sharpening tool.

i see love as the best reasonable choice after seeing that there's no fundamental reason for the existence to exist. but it is just a conscious choice.

2016, oct 9th healthy meals happiness sharing bike rides meditation self-inquiry & dharma contemplation deep talks compassive listening actualized.org contributions today i gave a free yoga class to a woman. she's on her 50's and we've been doing this for a while. she has 3 herniated discs but she feels MUCH better now. her flexibility and muscle strength are increasing and she's becoming younger. her eyes shine! after the yoga class i also taught her the practice of zazen. we practiced together. she said that it was hard but she also acknowledged the fact that zazen is what she needs. then i headed to meet a friend of mine. we ate açaí while he was talking about some bad stuff that was happening to him and his parents. i just listened to him. there's nothing much to do in these kinds of situation. i just listened with all my body. in the end he said that he wanted to practice meditation and i invited him to the daissen-ji sangha, which meet on mondays. then i came back home and invited the ashram residents to a free-style meditation in the darkness. there's no form to grasp. just sit and observe whatever happens. i could feel from bliss to agony. pretty interesting! i watched leo's new video and i was amazed by his extensive accuracy. incredible video! then we went to a free choro concert near by. it was AMAZING! the musicians were so good. my perception of reality went kinda crazy but it felt good. i love the impersonal and meaningless taste of reality. i continued the actualized.org subtitle work. it's going to be a long run!

2016, oct 7th and 8th meditation happiness sharing bike rides actualized.org contributions self-inquiry & dharma contemplation healthy meals deep talks after working quite a lot on leo's vid subtitles, i spent these days with my girlfriend. she's simply amazing and i'm so grateful for having such a person walking by my side.

you hesitate to give yourself a meaningless name and start introducing yourself with that for a long period of time (1+ year). where does that feeling come from? would you face this leap of identity detachment for real? i mean, can you do it TODAY? why wouldn't you?

you can just pick a simple name right now and start visiting meditation centers around with it. it's fun!

yes. i've been in the present moment for almost 1 year. it's the end of suffering.

i can only talk for myself. the way i solved this was leaving home and learning how to enjoy my life. as i kept going further, i found more people that enjoyed their lives. those who are actually nice to be with are those who enjoy their lives. and people like that value being surrounded by people who enjoy their lives. so the best i can do is enjoy my life. everything else just flows easily. we're not special because of the knowledge we have. we're special because we're alive and we can appreciate it.