Scholar

It will take time and effort for you to build up the skills to emotionally process this kind of toxicity, but you can do it if you apply yourself. It is challenging in your situation because of how much trauma you seem to have experienced. Siblings should support each other, not abuse and sabotage one another. I had similar problems in my early childhood with some family members and even friends, and I also lacked the confidence to act. I was so timid that I would allow them to physically abuse me and pretend it didn't bother me, because I was so scared of conflict and their disapproval. It would be better if you could remove yourself from this situation. But as long as you cannot, you have to learn to remove yourself emotionally from them. In the end, their words can only affect you because of how you relate to them, if you change your relationship to your experience, you will also change how much you suffer from them. Maybe this video can help you: Do you have some meditative practices that you do daily? What kind of actions are you taking to improve your situation, and yourself, at the moment?

Can you describe an interaction you had with one of your family members and what it made you feel? You can learn to process these feelings and not suffer from their toxicity as much as you do, and even develop to such a degree that you would be above their pettiness. Would you want to be able to achieve that?

Yes, but better days might come too. One more day depressed will not change much, given how long you were already enduring this, but making a decision like this would not be something you can just reverse. One day you can gain independence and then find deeper meaning in your life than just avoiding suffering. What in particular do you fear in your interactions with your family members? How do they make you feel when they do something hurtful?

What do you think will happen if you bear the suffering for one more day?

I've had an interesting thing happen to me today. After having stabilized my health in the past week (after months of issues) I decided to finally start meditating again. I took a break from it for quite a while because I wasn't able to achieve any meditative state at all when I tried. But the very first session of meditation 3 days was a depth of awareness and stillness I haven't experienced before. It was a 20 minute session, and i decided to simply remain in that meditative state while going about my business. And it worked, I am basically able to constantly remain in this meditative state now, albeit not as deeply as during meditation. The state makes every activity I do feel effortless and automatic. Right now I barely feel like I am writing this post, it is writing itself. So I have been meditating multiple times a day to reimmerse myself in the depth of the state again, and today when I decided to do a 1h meditation session, I went to such a depth that I entered a sort of panicked state, a fear of losing my mind or changing my reality permanently. My heart began to beat incredibly fast and I remember the accompaning existential fear from my first LSD trip that was more or less a year ago. After the LSD trip, I would get this kind of fear even when I would take smaller doses of shrooms or LSD, as if it was some sort of PTSD reaction. During my meditation setting I was able to dissolve the fear and panic, but it was surprising how intense it was. It basically prevented me from going deeper into the meditative state. I never had emotional things come up randomly during my meditation sittings, and I have been meditating for quite a long time. Now I wonder if I simply triggered a PTSD response or whether or not I was getting close to derealization/depersonalization.

Ted lost it's way a few years back.

Not everyone could be a millionaire. People confuse the concept of "Anyone can achieve X", to me the same as "Everyone can achieve X". Theoritically anyone could become a millionaire, but the reality is that the vast majority of people cannot and will not be millionaires.

It's not strange, they are a product of their environment. There can be many reasons for why people feel the need to do certain things. Don't focus too much on the behavior, but on the possible lack individuals experience for them to engage in certain unhealthy behaviors. Then you can focus on providing them the tools they need to amend that lack.

Social Media is simply degrading peoples minds and consciousness. That is going to affect how individuals relate to each other significantly. Remember, these are the dark ages, we have no clue what we are doing, we are stumbling in the dark desperate to find the light. But you can create a little bit of light in this world.

It's high consciousness formatting It's silly to make actions out to be low or high consciousness. It misses the point and leads to further confusion. There is no difference between the absolute and the relative.

I'm still in this state. It's a bit annoying in some ways because it's harder to be creative. It almost feels like Anhedonia, how I felt after I took LSD. Time passes very slowly, I am completely immersed in the moment, but there is little motivation inside me to actually do anything. It feels a little bit like I am in the backseat of experience, watching everything neutrally. And I also have like, 1 thought per 30 seconds, my mind is incredibly still.

Anyone can enjoy breathing fresh air, and breathing in general. In fact, you just have to not breath for 2 minutes and you'll appreciate it a lot. Consciousness is not about what you experience, but your depth of perception. Most people breath unconsciously all the time. It takes practice to reach a deep state of consciousness in sex as opposite to just normal sex. Also, notice that this is a completely abitrary notion. Why does something being difficult make it "higher consciousness"? Most parents love their children with ease, yet that is in no way "lowly" or "low consciousness". And if this was the case, as you have conveniently constructed for yourself, it would mean sex is actually an even greater higher consciousness activity, because it takes deeper states of awareness ot appreciate sex on deeper level than just the mere pleasure of it.

No, that's actually exactly what it means. No action can be qualitative in terms of consciousness. Your most basic and primal need is to breath, yet breathing can be an exercise to reach the deepest states of consciousness.

You can seek sex out of pleasure in a highly conscious state. Leo is also making money doing his videos. If he did not, he could not make such videos. You just repeated what you said before and then asserted that means porn in and of itself is Low Consciousness. But that doesn't make sense, it's a purely emotional statement. I can make highly conscious porn if i wanted to, which wold mean Porn in and of itself is not Low Consciousness. It is simple the current cultural context that makes most porn a product of lower consciousness states. Again I think you have a profound misunderstanding of what consciousness is. You keep attributing "low consciousness" to activities, even to procreation, as if consciousness was an action. It's a state of mind, and you perpetuate a certain confusion about the nature of consciousness by playing the game of consciousness supremacy. You are injecting your ethical views into your views of consciousness.

The problem with this idea is that activities are neither low or high consciosuness. Consciousness is a state of mind, a perception. You can have the highest consciousness and engage in any activity, including sex, and remain in that state of consciousness. It's just that by default, with unconscious minds, certain activities will generally lead to a narrowing or broadening of perception.

We get your point, it simply does not add anything to the conversation at hand.

Why do you have to be such an edgelord contrarian. You pretend like what we consider degenerate or not is completely arbitrary, just so you can make a point about the nature of reality. You make a thoughtless, spur in the moment statement and then you weasel yourself into selling it to us like some sort of gift from the heavens. If anything is degenerate it's that. What is most hilarious is that everyone takes it so seriously when it essence you are just trolling your own forum. "Oh but Leo, you are inconsistent here, look!" Guys, he literally doesn't give a shit. He says what he thinks at the time and then backward engineers it into wisdom. Just laugh at him and move on.

What is this nonsense lol. A bunch of whataboutism, which is not even relevant to anything because you can produce all of these things perfectly ethically. Not all cartoons have to be produced with sweatshop labor. And I doubt hentai and erotica are produced in unethical ways either. None of the things you mention make it low consciousness. You made the assertion that selling sex is fundamentally low consciousness, and now you are moving it to the unethical ways in which some porn is produced. You can make some arguments for why most porn is low consciousness, like most food is low consciousness. Sex itself is not in some essential way low consciousness, nor is selling art that contains or centers around sex. Rejecting an entire fascet of humanity is what I would call low consciousness. Also: The most low consciousness thing possible is selling the Wisdom of God on a Youtube channel and making money with it. That's like the olympian medal of perversion and distortion of Truth. I mean, just consider: All the trillions of beings who had to be eaten alive, tortured, raped just so you could sit on the internet and make your videos about God! Degenerate!

To me the fear is very much associated with things I know about Derealization/Depersonalization/Dark Night of the Soul. I immediately have thoughts of getting stuck in that state like some people do, and just suffering and being unable to competely dissolve the ego.

Religion is a symptom of a far deeper problem that plagues all human beings: Ignorance. Ridding the world of all religions will not rid the world of ignorance. Ridding the world of ignorance will rid the world of all religions.

The ideological tenants of both Islam and Christianity have ingrained in them various forms of irrational discrminatory attitudes. The degree to which this will manifest in a group of religious believers is how seriously they take their religion. But don't be confused, even moderate Christians and Muslims perpetuate highly discriminatory attitudes, mostly in regards to things society largely still holds biases against. And in many cases these biases stem from historical religious dogma in the first place.

I'd say it is a mixture of both, but I enjoy reinventing the wheel in many ways. I'm a very independent thinker, I enjoy thinking, enjoy exploring ideas, checking things for consistencies, finding holes in perspectives, etc. In general I probably am more so thinking for myself, simply because I enjoy the process more, even if it might be less efficient overall. It's a trick question. It's always best if you have a thorough understanding of the common positions first. For example if you want to master a certain skill, learn the fundamentals first and then explore your own kind of ways of looking at things. For things like ethics it is a bit of a longer process. You should strive to understand yourself as well as possible and be clear about any biases you have. Challenging a norm requires you to understand why that norm is held and the reasons why society holds onto it. When you go contrary to a position that is commonly held you need to do your homework and have a thorough understanding of it, and seek out limitations to your own perspective. But in the end it's all difficult to put into words. You have to strive for truth, refine your intuitions, make predictions and test them, and so forth. Self deception is the biggest enemy here, but I'm pretty sure Leo made some indepth videos about this.

You are pointing to something important, and in essence why ideology exists in societies. Most people lack the capacities or skills to navigate the uncertain epistemic and moral landscape that would need to be navigated if you were to fully decouple yourself from contemporary ideologies. Ideologies serve a few functions in human society, but mostly: They give individuals something they can orient themselves towards (a value hierarchy), a shared understnading of the world. The more you decouple yourself from society, you will notice the more challenging it becomes to orient yourself towards something and to navigate the world in general. Morality is an easy example: It is much easier to just real a religious text and be given instructions for what is important in life and how to achieve it, rather than work from first principles and rational consistency. People are highly biased and lack reasoning skills, so if you give them "free reign" in regards to their orientation in life, many of them will mess it up terribly. Often they will not improve on the ideology, and rather just embrace more and more of their own biases, until they are so lost they will become highly susceptible to be captured by a new ideology. And in the end it's just easier to go along with whatever society has prepared for you in terms of ideology. You will be in line with most people and therefore reduce social friction, and you will not run risk of stumbling into a dangerous aspect of the unknown. That is what you do when you let go of societal ideology. You open yourself to the unknown, and traversing the unknown is very dangerous. It requires significant sophistication to be able to do that on your own, the further you venture, the more difficult and dangerous it becomes. In the end, exploring the unknown is a collective process. A lot of people have already thought about many of the things you will come to conclude to yourself, so it doesn't make sense to reinvent the wheel.

I don't think limitations in regards to how the physical universe behaves will exist the way you think of them right now. Reality is fundamentally infinite. There is no fully understanding it, unless you yourself are infinity.

Limitations are necessary for existence. But to you it will appear limitless. Your mind right now is too limited to even fathom the limitations of future minds. Understanding the physical nature of the universe will not be one of them.