Scholar

I think what you are trying to do is trying to find an easy way to get a cure. I think you are more likely to succeed if you really try to understand what Leo is saying in his videos. Me for example, I was literally afraid to go outside a few days ago. I'm kinda pale, and I was always thinking about what people were thinking about me. And then, I simply tried to make my brain understand that it doesn't matter what people think, that infact that process is completely unnecessary. So I just did it, I went outside and I allowed myself to behave how I want, no matter how it would feel. Look people in the eyes as they walk by, and not care if they think that you are crazy. You know you are not crazy, so what does it matter what they think. Your brain will hate it, but it doesn't matter. Just walk around outside and start whistling, say hello to people and notice how your brain cares about what other people think of you. You are the master of your world, and your world can be whatever you want it to be. If you want to define yourself by what other people might think of you, you will do that. If you want to define yourself by what you think you actually are, then you can do that. You have to shake up the priorities in your mind. When you enter a room, you naturally create these bubbles of expectations for every human that is aware of you. I know that process too well, and it can paralize you if it's strong enough. Just learn to not care at all. And recognize that you have to learn it, that failing it okay. If someone thinks you are fucking crazy, or pathetic, that's okay. You know you are not. What I do, I just dress myself horribly knowing that people will most likely think badly of me. And within three days I made significant process. The irony is that if you just be yourself, the person you are when you are completely alone, people immediately respect you. If you walk around whistling, they will be intimidated by your confidence. But don't fall into the trap to care about that, because you are not doing it to intimidate them, or to make them think that you are confident. You are doing it simply because you feel like doing it. Doesn't matter if they think you are the president of the united states, or some homeless person. You know exactly who you are, and you know that you can change in an instant if you want. That is the beauty, you are not bound to the past as your brain might tell you. Your identity is what you want it to be, not what other people might think it is. Maybe start out with family? Tell them something you don't want them to know about you because you think they might think of you badly if they do, and then try your best not to care. You have to learn not to care, it's not something that you can decide in an instant.

The thing is though that every single word you have used is a concept. Everything is a concept, being itself is a concept. You cannot understand enlightenment, and if you think you have understood it, it means you haven't. Everything you just said is another story. If aone truly understands enlighenment, permanently, then he or she will do nothing at ll. If Leo is permanently enlightened, he will sit until he dies. He will not even care about this site anymore, because this site is a concept part of a concept he calls existance. If he truly is enlighened, he will expirience that even existance itself is one more lie his ego tells himself. Infact, the motivation to become enlightened is part of the ego, if you are enlightened, you will not want to be enlightened anymore, because you will want nothing at all. Because in a deeper sense, you do not exist. Enlightenment, in deeper sense, does not exist either. One cannot be enlightened, because enlightenment is just another concept. If you are enlightened, your ego still exists, otherwise you'd recognize that you infact are not enlightened at all. But the problem here is that if you recognize anything at all, if you have any realizitation at all, you are not enlightened. That's why Leo says it's impossible to communicate, even to himself. Because the expirience of enlightenment he has is just a memory in his mind. And a memory is just another concept. So no matter what he tells you, what he tells himself, it infact is completely irrelevant. Even if I tell myself enlightenment is this process of expirience that is everything that exists, I just described it with concepts. It's like people say "I want to expirience enlightenment.", but they don't realize that enlightenment is no expirience. They do not recognize that it is no concept, so it's simply not describable. I cannot understand it, I can't even think about it. So how does one get there? Well, one is already there, and at the same time, one isn't. Everything we try to tell each other is a story. You see, the fact that you tell yourself that you need to be enlightened, or that you are not enlightened, is just another story. Leo might say "Enlightenment is the state where your ego is completely gone.", but what exactly is a state? What exactly is being itself? What exactly is existance? We all have concepts for these things, every single one of us. We cannot communicate it differently. You can let go of all the concepts, but letting go is one more concept. Concept itself is a concept. Very confusing, I do not even know if it makes sense. But sense is just another concept. Lies and truths are concepts aswell.

Hey guys. I have just watched part 3 of Leo's enlightenment videos, and I was watching it in my bed, lying on my back. It worked out quite well for some time, I got more and more relaxed and it felt like a really nice and calm meditation. Until at some point there was this weird sensation of spinning, like everything, including me, rotated clockwise. Every few seconds the rotation stopped and became a wobble, just to continue even faster. It became so bad that I was really afraid that something was wrong, that I might die if I'd continue on to just let it happen. I didn't even hear Leo's voice anymore until I opened my eyes. The spinning was still there, but more subtle, and I remember I could feel it especially in my legs. The sensation in my arms was strange aswell, it felt like there was a weird layer of warmth around them and as if my skin was kind of fluffying up. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong, because I was definitely afraid and not calm at all towards the end. My eyes even filled up with tears before the spinning started, and I have no idea why. Did anyone expirience something similar, or is my brain just malfunctioning?

But what will I tell them? "I get weird spinning sensations when I try to enlighten myself." D: