AlwaysBeNice

Yeah. Aside from a deep long depression, delusions first came after an awakening experience of suddenly seeing a lot more, my vision just expanded, which happened a few days after an already intense mushroom trip. This made the 16 year old insecure me feeling like I might be better than others, that I might be the chosen one, which eventually led into fear, where I thought that just rather random things meant serious stuff. Wanting to belief I was enlightened. Deep down I would I knew these things to be untrue, but when you are so caught up in your ego, carrying around a lot of fear, you go tend to (want to go) with it.

It's the dark night of the mind. It might start after an initial awakening experience because you might suddenly become aware of how much negativity you are actually still carrying around and how confined your mind still is. And you don't yet have knowledge/experience/trust that you can progress quickly on the path, in healing yourself, so your whole situation could seem dreadful. You then might be tempted in to trying to give up, so any idea of being victim of some sort of cosmic happening called 'the dark night of the soul' seems very appealing, but it's false, the soul is forever in peace.

How does if affect your everyday meditations as well?