Ever since I was 10 years old, I've used the internet to socialize. I literally spend most, if not, all of my time online. In the beginning as a kid it was just talking to a group of people interested in Pokemon (my obsession at the time). But later in my teen years, and until now, I've been using sites like Omegle or MeetMe to talk exclusively to people of the opposite gender. I use the online chats to try to get into relationships (it doesn't work of course). But on a deeper, scarier level, I use it just to send pics of my fetish to them (just to arouse myself, but of course the other person is unaware of that). I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and OCD at the age of 16 (along with the usual ADHD, depression, anxiety). I am now 20. Top all that off with school refusal since the age of 13, and I've literally poisoned my mind with all this time wasted on the addiction. I also stay home almost all the time, every day.
I hid my obsessions, addictions, and fetish from the therapists and psychiatrists. It was easy to hide all this from them since I act like a "regular" person when I'm in public. Also, I don't want to make this as an excuse, but also because of being Asperger's, it was hard to express myself and I always kept things to myself.
I've been on different kinds of meds in the past, but now I'm planning on getting back on medication, this time with consistency and being honest with the doctors.
Can anybody relate to this kind of struggle? I just watched Terry Crews' videos on his battle with porn addiction (it's on his Facebook page) and it really motivated me to change and also to know that I'm not alone in this. Love to hear your comments and feedback. Thank you!
