DimmedBulb

@Key Elements It's mostly me complaining about how terribly I slept and all sorts of "perversion" that pop up in that noggin of mine. It's a way to convince the inner critic to lay low when creating, which should lead to being less judgmental and therefore producing more stuff. It also counts as meditation.

@Key Elements I do stream of consciousness writing first thing in the morning to try and unblock.

I'd create if I knew how to trigger my imagination and creativity.

@Franz I'm noticing my own behaviours, which is a step up. I'm doing meditation as well. The fear will fade away once I have fully grasped what I've learned thus far.

The more thought I'm giving it, the more I seem to feel like my purpose in life is to be with a very specific person, looking after her more specifically. Very much a special needs person. Few problems though: I'm not capable to look after anyone, she doesn't want it on a permanent basis, I have no money and she lives on the other side of the globe. I feel like I'd make a colossal mistake by going there, but I also feel like that's what I'm meant to do. Some help would be much appreciated.

@Franz I've got a lot of work ahead of me. To give you an idea: I'm at "if I do this, I'll be punished, so therefore I'll avoid doing it" levels of morality. I'll have to see what happens.

It depends on the cause of the problem.

@Martin123 A catalyst she is, that's for certain. She made me realize life isn't just about what I'd call merely existing.

My curiosity spiked again regarding psychedelics. Problem is I'm not one to take risks or break the law. Over here, Mushrooms are illegal, but for some reason the government doesn't prohibit selling or buying Magic Truffles or the Sclerotia that come from those same mushrooms they banned by law. I really just wanna know if the effects are the same or if they differ and if they do, in which way.

@STC Eating also takes up a boatload of time, but I ain't cutting down on that any time soon

Makes sense honestly. Sleep is great. It just takes up a lot of time. I reckon that because I relatively take in a lot of stimuli that I have to rest for longer than average. It's just a shame that I know people who work perfectly well on 5 hours of sleep, which, if you say that they'd do that until they retire starting at age 18, they'll be awake 73,000 hours longer, which means they can for example fully master 7 more things in life (I'm still working on envy if you couldn't tell from this impossible comparison).

@David1 Apparently truffles are only half water.

@Dawson The strongest kind they have, eh? Well then. I'll work my way up there.

Oh wow, turns out 5-MeO is legal here... well then. Whoever is responsible for the current version of the Opium Law deserves a high five. EDIT: Or is it? I'm not sure anymore.

It's something I attempt to do every so often, but every time I seem to just freak out. I feel like blind fear shouldn't be the point of it. I could be wrong though. The sight of no one being there and nothing being written on a tomb stone spark a pretty strong emotional reaction. It sparks fear, which turns into brief motivation that's basically panic mode. That reaction usually results in shying away from trying it again and giving up on what I was doing, because the emotions are too much to handle. What am I missing?

@Azrael I'll solidify my meditation practice first, then get rid of those anti-depressants and then get going.

@Live Life Liam I don't live in the US. Tolerant Europe is where it's at I believe some idiots died from taking mushrooms, probably thinking they could hug a bus going 80 and the government was like: now's our chance!!

@Leo Gura No can do. I'm already on mind altering medication. And I can already tell I'm resisting the mere idea, so I reckon it wouldn't be particularly useful at this time. Aren't psychedelics like step 281 in relation to the process?

@Leo Gura At this point, the fear of death and the fear of failure are far greater than the desire to act upon that which I want to have done, which only makes the despair grow stronger. In reaction to that, the desires become obsessions, which isn't particularly healthy. And then the cycle starts all over again.

@Schulzy Now that would be scary. I'd rather die than live forever.

@Taavi I did read one of the books that has been suggested multiple times in the Actualized videos, which was definitely a good read and I say that when I just flat out hate reading (so focus heavy and slow). I'll definitely consider it.

@Bob84 Clementine up the butt, olive oil, in the oven.

Buy Cold Turkey, lock off the internet except the websites you need for work. Do this on a schedule, which is an option and then lock said schedule for a week at a time. I allow myself 1 hour of free internet usage every 3 hours and free usage after 6. I went from 16 hours of internet usage a day to 7 hours a day by doing this and it's only getting better. Do the same with your phone by getting AppDetox and another app with which you can lock AppDetox and prevent it from being deleted through a password you let someone else create. You'd need to lock settings otherwise you're gonna be able to force stop the program and remove it from your phone anyway. You can make that app work so that if you take 100 steps, you get 10 seconds of unrestricted app time, but also just set time limits for throughout the day.

@Martin123 Mindfulness when outside or when eating is lovely (and relatively easy to remember to do).

@Martin123 Pain body I've found to be a effective, yet difficult concept to work with. Hence why I asked for the clarification. Now it seems pretty obvious. I'm getting back into meditating through stream of consciousness writing: 3 A4s of hand written thoughts first thing in the morning. Takes 45 minutes, but it's good. There's some obscene shit in that noggin of mine :P.