Shin

The problem is that you have a debt (I assume you're American), I suggest to keep up and repay your debt by doing a well payed job after your graduation. Debt is the one thing that can fuck you up very deep in the ass, so unless you want to yolo and live as a monk in some other country, you should keep up with college. You can do both college (and have good grades) and self-actualization, don't fuck it up.

You wouldn't need an outside stimuli to do that one thing yes, it will be your all life. If you try to do something else (an another hobbie), it could still be enjoyable, but you'll know it's only a side thing that mean pretty much nothing to you, and it's fine. That's the problem with most people, they do so much unauthentic things to them, that they need more and more about theses things, always chasing something they can't describe (most of the time they don't even know they're chasing something), and therefore, they are never satisfied, at least not for long. So now, ok you're looking to grow, it's good, but at some point (or unless you become enlightened very fast) it won't be enough to fulfilled you in a deep way.

It inspire everyone you know, it's the search of genuine happiness that everyone seek, but very few find. Being an excellent human ? What does even mean ? And what point there is in that if you can't do something for others with it ? What is contribution to you ? Your "one" singular answer is your consciousness seeking to overflow your body, but right now it is filled with your ego and therefore it cannot express itself fully. That's one of the caracteristic of enlightened peoples, they just do what they feel is important for others (and ultimately them), there is no second guess. The problem is that in our limited egoistical form, we tend to overlook that, we tend to look at our dreams as childish and stupid things. In reality, these dreams (if you do self-inquiry to check if they are authentic) are what you are looking for, but some of them looks scary because they actually needs you to become something totally different than what you "are" now.

You need to see yourself as a wave of energy running its course. The course of this energy is something very specific that will only appeal to you, it is a task to do in this word, and it's the only one that will have a meaning for you. Consciousness/god wants "you" to do something very specific because it wants to expand itself, that's the only meaning of life, Create something new out of nothing, that's what infinity is. The only reason why you need a motive to do something, is because you didn't find your life purpose, yet. Check Leo Life purpose course or take an another, but that's what you're missing apparently.

I think you can skip orange if you're already at blue, but you'll need to acquire certain skill that are in that stage. For example, you can't search your life purpose if you didn't learn how to be strategic (you could, but it would take you forever). You'll also need to learn how to be individualistic, because there will be certain moments in your life where you'll have to be self-centered (but in a positive, growth attitude way), and that could mean leaving friendship/relationship/and even your family. Concerning ambition, I think that's more about being genuine in what you want, obviously, fake materialistic needs (money/fame/success/love (egotic needs of love))/ aren't what you're looking for.

Do you realize that you're only rambling here ? It's just thinking for the sake of thinking, you're literally filling your head with questions that can't be answered just for the sake of asking yourself something. That's compulsive thinking, you're litterally filling your head with thoughts, because otherwise your ego would feel empty. Keep meditating, at some point you'll stop having compulsive thoughts, do it on a daily basis, otherwise it's pointless and inefficient. If you don't see any improvement in 3 months, seek a professional, it could be some serious mental issue.

Stop expecting anything, it will happen sooner or later if you keep meditating and practising mindfulness and self-inquiry everyday. Your wall of text is about the want of being enlightened faster, maybe you don't realize it or accept it, but that's what it is about. The want should go, the conceptualization should go, and the expectation of doing or pursuing something should go, otherwise, yes, you will never be enlightened.

It hurts because your ego is a fragile entity who cannot stand to realize that his world view is nothing but concepts. So, in order to protect its world view, he attacks or retreat whenever it is wounded.

You're the source. There is no reincarnation, since you never die, and there is nothing to stay back with , since you are everything. Your body is just a host for a part of your consciousness to experience this part of reality.

No, I did an equivalent which is easier in 1 year though (with 30 minutes of work per day).

Well, more and more famous people starts to take spirituality seriously, Oprah did something great at advertising Eckhart Tolle in that regard. I only know that Jim Carrey takes it pretty seriously, but I guess he is far from alone in this. It's just a matter of time, now, will we destroy ourselve and the planet before it happens ? This is the question no one can answer.

Yeah, you can't think it's something you will be able to achieve later, you need to be still, have an intense will to find the truth in yourself, nothing else is required apparently, BUT, in order to be able to be in that state of mind, you can't be closed minded, you can't have any belief, and you have to work on your mental issues. You also have to do meditation, comtemplation, self-inquiry and doing mindfulness daily. Most people, have all theses problems (most people are extremely neurotics, it's shocking how much they are), and of course, aren't even close to do all the stuff I mentioned above. So technically speaking, yes you can't pursue enlightenment as a goal, but you have to be in a certain state before being able to find the truth in yourself. That's why (sadly), only 0.00000001% of the human population can hope to realize their true nature through conventional methodology, and that's exactly why the 5-meo-dmt could be the salvation of humanity.

Seriously ? You mean that it can be done in 3 years top if you are very open-minded and do 2/3 hours of work into it everyday ? That's what you are telling us here, or am I misinterpreting your words ?

I will tell you a story, a story about a shy, really sad and hopeless guy who just wanted to experience love, thinking it was all he ever needed. He rarely went outside of his bedroom, except, to sometimes walking his dog, going to work, and hitting some mcdonald time. His thoughts were always surrounding him, he thoughts that he didn't deserved to be loved, too many health problems, too many failure in his past, his father always told him he was a failure, too "weird", he also never had any real friends. At that point, he thought that life was meaningless, all these fake/mean people, all these wars, corruption, madness, Pain, everywhere. He then heard something about meditation, what is meditation, why it is important, although he didn't believe everything that he was told, he tried. It was hard, sitting for 20 minutes a day doing nothing was a nightmare, all these negative thoughts kept coming, telling him to stop wasting his time, that he was a failure, and always be one. But he kept meditating, He didn't give up, He didn't listen, He had faith One day, he stopped thinking about the past and the future, life, was different. He couldn't say why, or what was happening. so he searched an answer. He soon find something, it was called "Spiritual enlightenment". He immediatly knew that was the answer to all his questions. The funny thing was, that he never believed in any religion whatsoever, thinking it was all a lie. After this discovery, he continue to practice meditation even more, switching to some kind of love/kindness meditation (it is a meditation about listening everything without judging). After some weeks he didn't have any judgments of others, it was like there was nothing to judge, what is, is. But how come you stop judging others ? And if something as important as judging can be changed in some weeks, what about the rest ? At that point, there was no need for love, popularity, money, or any other needs actually. It was like his past life was a lie, like his past life was a dream. Some weeks passed, and he was still seeking how to switch between belief and truth, spiritual enlightenment cannot be conceptualized he heard. Eckhart Tolle, a supposed enlightened person who wrote some best seller books came in his life, he watched some of his videos, on youtube. He picked one idea out of it, and practised it. Mindfullness, aka the power of now, the realization that only the present moment exist, is what was under inverstigation. After some months of watching every action he does, some mindblowing changes in his life started to happen. He didn't associate his thoughts to himself anymore, it was like a repetitive song that he was tired of hearing. Nature in itself started to be different. It was exactly as it was before, but everything started to feel BEAUTIFUL and ALIVE. But, the most important realization was, that he started to feel that EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING IS A PART OF HIM. ----------------------------------------------------------- That is my story. I'm not enlightened, I still identified myself as "me", but I see reality for what it is more and more everyday. I really wanted to show you how meditation is so important, because without meditation, I couldn't have turned my life around. The power it gives you is very simple, it makes you aware of your thoughts. Being aware of your thougts is the most powerful skill you can have, because Seeing your thoughts from an external viewpoint is the difference between a "normal" and an AWESOME LIFE.

"If someone tells you, you can't do something, This person is talking to himself." Random consciousness sentence #245365485164842743736129496416344168435432154345476343675765765675287

If your true purpose in life isn't to be a yogi, you won't become a yogi, so in this case, it does not work. You can't become something else than your life purpose, there is no choice in what you will be come, if you think you have a choice, it's either your ego trying to put you in the wrong direction or a lack of inner work.

You're doing it to avoid reality, yes. I did the exact same thing, and felt miserable about it (without knowing why). It's deeper than that though, your ego is trying to distract you, because the ego knows that you are trying to change yourself, and so he resist (homeostasis). You need to change little things, one at a time, every two months makes a new habits (but only if you didn't failed the old one), and you should start with meditation, then daily physical activity (or the inverse, depending on your health). You can't change everything in one go, your can maybe force your mind to do it (for a while), but at some point, you'll go back to your old ways or you'll have medical issue. And no there is no easy ways, you will have to fight with yourself, it's the only way.

It's not a passion, it's more like a quest, a quest that you feel deeply immerged into. Teaching about the path could be a passion and a life purpose, but it's not because you're in the path yourself that it should be your life purpose/passion. Being a yogi could make sense to some people, but for others it would be a huge waste of their potential to impact the world. Imagine if Leo thought that being a yogi was his life purpose, we would never had any Actualized.org videos ... That's I think the most dangerous thing about enlightenment, it makes you think it's the only thing that matter, and you paradoxically stop your growth. you stop searching for your life purpose/passion.

Removing the ego means no association with our thoughts, which means no emotional labour. If you're talking about physical harm, I doubt that an enlightened person wouldn't defend themself in a critical situation, he wouldn't kill the other person/animal though, at least not intentionally. Interests are mostly egoistical, goal-based anyway, so what's the point of keeping them ? There will always be a sense of self, otherwise the body wouldn't stand still. That's your problem here, you won't dissolve, just the fake part of you will. The real you can't die, litterally.

No, it's all in your mind, trust me I know how you feel, the feelings you have wouldn't be possible with an another state of mind. I litteraly can't be depressed anymore, because I know the thoughts that creates that feeling, and I just don't allow my ego to think about it. Pain is temporary, you need to have faith, it will change, it will take time, but the only way to start the change is to have faith and visualize the man you want to become. Faith, not hope, hope is for the sheeps, for people who gave up on life, faith is the real deal, because it's an inner motivation, happiness and growth can only come from the inside. You don't have to trust me, just watch and watch and watch videos about your issues from Actualized.org. The concepts will print in your subconscious mind, and you will change without even realizing it.

If this is really the case, that you talk a lot and don't do anything, you must see a therapist of some sort, to keep in touch with your problems, to keep them in your mind (assuming you're not lying or hiding things to them). It's too easy to forget and coming back to your old ways, the ego is very good at this.

We can't help you untill you realized you're capable of doing way more than you think you could You need to learn how to stop to comparing yourself to other, how not to care about what other people think, and how to be nice to yourself, to love yourself just as you are. Untill then, all we say are non-sense to you, you won't believe us. You can either do that because you're such in pain that your ego can't stand it anymore, or you could live this way all the rest of your life. It won't be easy though, the pain you will endure will be way worse that what you feel right now, but it's necessary in order to make the shift happen. It's all in the mind, you're capable of doing virtually anything, anyone can do every things they want, they just need to want it bad enough. Without pain there is no growth, just remember that.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma Gandhi

Your capacity comes from failure, learning from it, and working your ass off on the long term. There is no such thing as an easy way in life, you can't accomplish great things just because you're "gifted". Being gifted only gives you a 5/10% faster learning curve ... Read the biography of some successfull people, you'll start to see that most of them weren't talented at all to begin with ... Your problem is that you're in some sort of depression, I was like that for 8 years, in a matter of a year, I switched to: - Virgin -> healthy relationship - Judgmental asshole/Anxious about my look/behaviors -> Doesn't give a shit, at all, BUT I try not to offend people and help them as much as I can without betraying myself - Always stressed/living in my head -> Way more conscious of my thoughts and what thoughts are, I think a lot less than before, and I can force my brain not to think (or more accurately, sensing the pre-thought and refuse to go along with it). - No diploma/no goal -> Bachelor Degree, currently doing an accountant degree (which I won't get on purpose to leave room in order to find my real life purpose). - No physical activity whatsoever -> 1 hour of hiking every day, 1 to 2 swimming session per week - Living in my parent's house -> Living in my parent's house (It will change everything, so I don't rush it, but it will happen in 2017) I was really low in my self-esteem, I had suicidal thoughts, there was no point to anything ... So how did I do all that ? Well, that's the problem, I don't really know, but what I'm sure of, is that you need to socialize more, questioning your thoughts all the time (negative ones), and the most important of all, Force yourself to have a meditation habit A meditation habit will raise your awareness, and more awareness equal more understanding of your thoughts, more understanding of your thoughts will lead to less association with your thoughts, and finally, less association with your thoughts will brings you more HAPPINESS. Watch these videos: https://www.actualized.org/articles/benefits-of-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-meditate Trust me, if you can keep your meditation habit sticks for 2 months straight, every day, no excuses, It will be the most profound and important habit you will build in your life. You have no idea how important it is untill you do it for at least 3 months. I come to the point where I want to meditate for most of my freetime, it is THAT GOOD.

You didn't seem to have found your life purpose yet. If you're on your life purpose, you don't just feel it, you know it, you're it, and goals, that depends on what you call goals, but a goal can be achieved, a life purpose, by definition, can't (you'll always do it, it has no ending). It doesn't matter if you've fixed all your negative habits, and have good ones now, even if you crushed all your neurosis, it is still not enough. Finding and aligning yourself to your life purpose, that's what you need to do, everything else will be secondary when you'll do that, and by the way, it's the only way to have true happiness.