Shin

That's the point.

Permanently, untill I realize who I really am, and find somene else who did too, naturally without seeking. I really think it's the only way for a relationship to really work. EDIT: Or maybe it's just how it can work with my kind of personality. Probably that.

Don't just meditate, watch your thoughts all the time (you won't be able to dot it all the time at first) = Mindfullness, And comptemplate nature by doing some hiking regularly (at least 3/4 hours a week).

Sounds like you still think you need a relationship, and that a relationship can fulfill you. More spiritual work is indeed necessary, quit relationships for at least 1 full year

It's fascinating how much happiness you can have just by doing nothing most of the day. Really nothing, like meditation and hiking. You really don't need anything else to be happy. You don't need to be detached from people, you need to be detached from an unhealthy and busy lifestyle, Because if you do that, it won't be a problem to be attached to the kind of people you'll naturally attract (for the most part). Yeah, that means cutting some toxic relationships, especially close ones.

Exactly ! Now, chop chop !

Don't forget that if you don't know that you can have a life calling, that's not a burden in your mind. There are people who are just fine with the somewhat decent job they have, happy in their relationships, and just experience life on a positive note.

Yeah this is the biggest trap, waiting for a perfect way to solve this. There is no perfect way, you need to take actions.

The point of mindfullness is to be aware of an emotion, and then to drop it. If you are mindfull to an emotion and it goes right away, you're doing good.

No need to do anything, really, just say that it's his opinion and you respect it, but you that's not yours. If you caught up yourself behaving like this, just practice mindfullness and realize that you truly don't know, because we don't know anything, everything is just beliefs stored in our head, we have no practical experiences to back up any of the beliefs we have. Do you really know that the sun is the center of the solar system ? Do you really know there was an holocaust ? Do you really know if there isn't a god (Christian version) ? It sounds silly, and I especially took these exemples to shake your head, but the truth is that we don't know. You weren't into space, nor that you lived during the WWII, and you probably didn't die and come back to see if god is a reality. When you start to see how little you really know about reality, you drop the game about rightness and wrongness almost instantly, because you now know that all of it is just pure illusions, that everyone is just defending their ego and its beliefs. Maybe they are right, maybe they don't, maybe you're right, maybe you're not. What you think you know isn't relevant, what other people think they know isn't relevant, The only thing that is relevant is how conscious and in synch you are with life, Everything else is just silly childish games.

Well, just watch again the video about Zen Devil from Leo, the story about monks who kills each other pretty much prove that being enligthened doesn't mean you won't rape/kill/torture.

Sounds like Hitler with a different flavour to me.

It is a joke that feels very real for billions of people. Their suffering isn't a joke to them ...

Try online dating and be honest with the girls you have a date with. Just tell them you're a shy guy who has issue with womens and wants to get rid of this nonsense anxiety problem (which is totally fabricated by your mind, I was probably in a worst situation than you). You'll be surprised, a lot of girls like that, a men who's honest about his flaws and wants to work it out, especially intimate things like this.

That depends. If someone wants a relationship because he wants to experience love, and sharing it with an another human being, no. At its core, what you're searching if you're in that dynamic is to be one with the whole again, and the only way you have found is to fall in love. The problem is, if you still live under the egotic paradigm, you will most likely "stop" loving that person at some point, because the love you feel about this person is a sneak-peak of what unconditional love is, and the ego can't possibly understand what unconditional love is, it doesn't want it and can't allow it. So no, you don't seek a relationship because you're selfish in this case, but you can't sustain it indefinitely either. If someone wants a relationship because he/she wants to feel happy, to feel secure, or because he/she wants to live through his/her partner success, and/or because this person wants amazing sex, well yes, it is very selfish and egoistical. This is what most people seek in a relationship. So how to be in a relationship that works indefinitely ? By realizing who you truly are.

250$ to live your dream life, that's what it litteraly is, there is no words to express how much it is worth it. You'll need to do it seriously though, and if you can't silence your limiting beliefs while you're doing it, it could cause lots of problems.

This. A lot of people are in a infinite loop of inconscious victims behaviors, whatever you do, they always try to guilt you, because they want to feel important, their ego needs to be fed.

Yeah, no ...

And we always look for an existing career instead of creating a new one, or at least, a new way of doing this particular career.

The day you'll stop caring about attractiveness (in you and of others), is when you'll be authentically attractive.

It's your ego talking shit to you, trying to get you to stop growing, don't take it seriously and keep going

Eric Thomas Bruce Lee Adyashanti Rumi Oprah

Do it

That's so true, it's just a game that our ego plays, and the ego is never satisfied. You will never find the perfect guy/girl, because he/she doesn't exist, and even if you think that's not what you're after, this is exactly what your mind is doing in the shadow, otherwise there would be no break-up from your part, and there would be no search of a "better/new relationship". Having a boyfriend/girlfriend isn't bad in itself (there is nothing wrong with it), but the search, the ego traps, the pain, the anxious thoughts, and everything else that stems from the dating world, is a HUGE WASTE OF TIME, time that you could use to follow your passion, self-mastery, and spiritual work. So unless you're very developed, very conscious, at the edge of enlightenement, a relationship is nothing but the search of your true self, you're searching for happiness through external circumstance (and this is what 99.99% of people do, including myself when I think about it). It last for a while, for various reasons, but the love you felt isn't love per say, it's just a fraction of what love is, and love has nothing to do with singularity. The thing is, happiness will never come from something else than you, not on the long term, so the couple you see that are happy for a very long time, most of them are lying to you, to themself, and to their partner, because there is actually very few people who can be happy with the same person from such an extended period of time. From a cultural standpoint, it wasn't like this before the 60's (or after, I don't know the exact dates), simply because divorce wasn't accepted, so people HAD to work it out, this explain why some old couple are now happy together, but this is only because they had to stay together, because in their mind it couldn't be any other way (and most of them aren't/or it has nothing to do with the fact that they are together). So should you date someone who's "better" than you ? Or not ? It doesn't matter, it won't work either way, not until you realize who you really are, And even then, your partner won't (probably) accept that you aren't playing the ego game, and you'll end up alone (but at that point you wouldn't care).