Shin

You can do it.

Everything you're afraid or supress in your mind has to be faced in order to grow. If you don't, you'll only grow on the surface.

Eckhart Tolle

When an awakening fades out

@Sevi @Dragallur @Who_Am_I @Barna Tomorrow I'll try to have a breakthrough, I will meditate half of my awake time. Support much appreciated, don't hesitate to spam me :3 *EPIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND* HA-OOH! HA-OOH! HA-OOH!

That needed to be said.

I'm saying that for the people who think they "lost" it whenever thoughts/inconsciousness appear. You can't loose it, THAT'S THE ALL POINT !

You question till you can know why it is there, and then you just notice it when it happen, and then it won't happen after 35426 times.

All your thoughts, whether they make you inconscious or not, are still the same energy as everything else. If you realize that, it's easy as fuck :3

I remember you once said you have a wife

There is a limit to everything :3

It's not your fault, you're naturally attracted to manly quality such as confidence/detachement/edginess and stuff like that. The problem is that our society is so much fucked up, that most of these qualities are mostly embodied by those we call "assholes" Men that don't posseses these qualities, well, you just simply can't stay with them, because there is nothing to keep attracting you in the long run. There are guys who have these types of quality without being assholes, but they are rare (and most of them taken anyway). Maybe next time, even if it's really really hard, try to get to know the guy more, like add 2/3 dates. Learn how to be more mindful of your sex drive, and how you can manage your attraction. It's hard, and you might not even want to do that, because you want all this to flow, like you don't have any control over it, that's what you want after all. If you really don't want to be abused again, or disappointed, you have to, otherwise it will never stop. Do these things, don't become a cold hearted girl that don't believe in love ever again.

As long as you pick up new healthy habits every 2/3 months, and keep doing your already establish habits, don't fight back. Unless you have some specific deadline to respect for a job assignment or a college homework, there is no reasons to do that.

You can't fail life, you are life. There is no success or failure, these are just labels, these are concepts ...

https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/courses/enlightenment-1-part-2-person-wakes-up-to-presence/lesson-10-there-is-only-now/

If the guy is experienced, there is no way to know. But here you go (google is your friend :3): http://www.wikihow.com/Find-out-if-He's-Playing-With-You http://youqueen.com/love/relationships/are-you-being-played-here-are-10-ways-to-know/ http://elitedaily.com/dating/signs-getting-played/1055660/

Stop trying to change the world, change yourself. You can't change how people think, and you said yourself that talking about these kind of things are uninteresting to you, so why complaining about it ? Let people be, and find people that aren't that inconscious if you need a social circle, because you'll never make them understand how they are biased, and you don't have to.

Don't know if it's related, but recently I realize that I have a major shift in consciousness whenever I quit work. After all the socializing and labeling that I have to do, it feels like an instant shift, reality feels instantly more "dreamy". Especially if I go take a walk in the forest, I don't even know if I'm dreaming or not when I'm there, it's absurd.

Had a similar thing, but it was like an infinite void spreading from the "inside". After this I was able to see more easily the "isness" of all things (except maybe humans). So you're definitely on the right track

Just be who you are, who you really are, without the fears and discomfort you have now. With the skills that you always had but never had the chance to truly embody/master. If you do that, you will know/find the right kind of girl for you, my take would be that it wouldn't even matter if you can do all that. Having a girlfriend for a man isn't that important really, only weak men are needy for women.

Truth is beyond awareness :3

Tell that to a Zen master and let him take you in charge.

Wet dreams are so nice, the girls never call back !