Shin

3. Hates self-reflecting/think deeply about stuff So yeah, Don't expect most people to appreciate that you question them or what they say @Charlotte You make them suffer so much you have no idea.

The concept of time is starting to be a vague notion, I almost never think of the future anymore, the past was already quite dead in my mind for months, maybe a year+ who knows. For the first time ever since childhood, I had this sense of wonder about life. You know, just like when you were a toddler and had nothing to worry about. There was just this moment, and only this moment, and everything was so intimate, close to you, as if you were basking in your mother womb (closest feeling I can think of). Like there is nothing to achieve, no goals, no desire of any kind, just appreciation of life as it is, which paradoxically makes you more prone to do what you need to do since you don't worry and are fully invested in what you do ! Now this is kind of a weak embodiment, I can feel it can go way beyond how I experience this right now, like not even close to 10% of how deep this can go, but it's a start. This feeling of 3rd person, or headless perception was still there this afternoon, it's still extremely subtle, but it's sticking.

Too bad we're in winter though

Currently.

I don't know if I can or can't. And that wasn't your original question, you're trying to tease me right now, aren't you ? ?

Blue screen is really really bad. Open a post on a technical forum somewhere on the net, surely there is a reddit sub for this, so make a post with a screen of the blue screen. Could be a lot of things, so be patient because you'll have to try a lot of fixes, or ask a professional in real life.

Why not ?

Going back to 2 hours of meditation a day feels amazing. So calm and peaceful, crystal clear mind and an ability to live in the moment clearly enhanced. Today I got some non-dual glimpses, like, I watched my hands at different time without perceiving them as my hands, but just hands. Also, I got some very subtle and short glimpses of oneness, when I was talking to my parents, like we were intimate without even talking, and linked into some transparent field (I like a 3rd person character like in a video game). Same thing when I was going from my flat to the train station, the people and the buildings where so "Impossible to describe ( ). There is definitely a dream componant to this, it really feels the same in a lot of ways

Then don't question too much about those kind of things, you will know it experientially later. The basic idea though, what I think it will happen, is that there will have no notion of control. Nothing is controlling anything in the first place, so you can't say you don't have control or something has no control, control never existed. Which doesn't mean there is no control, it means there is not a notion of control at all, it doesn't even come to your mind to think if you control or not something, because experientially there is only one being that exist. Just like there is no one else than you, so there can't be a feeling of loneliness, since that means you expect someone else to exist, which isn't the case if you awaken (to a certain level of realization, maybe not at first). You will be alone, but you won't be able to feel lonely, because there never were anyone else than you.

That's mean ?

Nonut + 2 hours of meditation a day =

Free Shaktipat for me plz

What I said

The better the curve, the better surprise butt sex ?

A forum member just pm me to say he realized his true nature while doing the course. You still sure you want to discard this course because the teacher has 11/10 girlfriends, smoke cigars and ride Teslas ? ???

What do you mean by suffering ? I'm not enlightened and I can definitely not suffer If I see clearly an emotion for what it is. By that I mean still feeling the emotion (of sadness for example), but not attaching my sense of self to it, and therefore not adding unnecessary suffering on top of the sadness, there is just sadness.

There is one thing that troubles me a bit, I think my best friend starts to have feeling for me, and I hope I'm wrong She gave me a kiss and a hug that is quite weird, looks in my eyes quite a lot, tried to hug me a few days ago and says randomly she loves me in emojis. Please don't Also, I can't stop seeking, I really can't. I have to know, but everything I read or hear about it all points to the fact that seeking is the very cause of not realizing it. It's not like I didn't know both intellectually and experientially (not fully apparently ) that seeking leads to nothing, yet I still can't stop … It's like Morpheus says, "like a splinter in your mind". It's so obvious now that I'm not aware of what I truly am, every second I'm not distracted or working on something I can feel it. Yet I can't and won't find anything, because the path is not a path, the thing that needs to happen is the exact inverse of a path. I got to backtrack into what I essentially am, and there is no direction to it, I got to realize what I already am, in this exact instant. The ultimate frustration

Follow the lord, And free grills will be sent over ! https://www.facebook.com/bentinhomassaro/posts/for-most-people-relationships-are-about-the-relationship-itself-and-everything-t/1729538857112098/

Don't you think you're still seeing this no control thing from the point of view of the ego ? I don't think you would ask this question if you've totally realized this. Who would categorize this no control thing if there is nothing in control ? Would there even be any notion of control at that point ?

You have 0 control. You are a thought You are a misconception ?

Secondary reason to do this journal is to show what real self-developement works looks like. Without anything minimized, and not just the pretty things highlighted. It is messy, full of backslides, and with lots of inconsistency. The ones who says the contrary are either full of shit/not pushing themselves enough or already full buddahood