Shin

Diversity makes life more exciting ?

Don't worry, It's like anal sex, You only think you're gonna explode the first few minutes ?

??? Are you proposing ? ?

3 pages of mental masturbation

Like what ? ? Btw, do you realize every breath you take is one second closer to death ? ?

She wants to have rough sex with a stranger to forget his ex. Hope it was fun ?

Delayed again ? ?

If you would get some balls and grow yourself, You would experience the same in reverse. It's not fun for anybody, no one likes to reject someone except psycho.

I would go to my parents and sit doing nothing until I awaken ?

Please listen (And die with me ?)

You see, you compare yourself to other, why ? Firstly, there will always be someone that will be better at what you do, alive or dead, and if that's not the case, you will fear someone will in the futur. This is a game you can't win. You need to calm the mind by understanding experientially that you are not your thoughts, or the subtle thought that says nothing but still judge and compare by feeling raw emotions. So more meditation, and remaining conscious as much as you can, all day, without judging your thoughts or emotions, but just letting them be.

There is a balance to have. In his case, most people would just kill themselves. A little less suffering, just enough to be in a deep depression, but not to the point of killing yourself is what will make seriously move someone to take spirituality seriously.

That's some spiritually gifted ego right there

Then what the fuck is past lives ? From my understanding, that just means the environment of the absolute creating the right conditions to give birth to an individual. Or it means all the other infinite expression of the same ego share the knowledge of it. Doesn't matter though, it's all armchair philosophy unless we experience it for ourselves

Open-mindedness, intuition, vulnerability, willigness, faith, vision etc Most people don't value or train those abilities, thinking enlightenment will be attained by "x" number of hours on the cushion. The real work is to unfuck yourself of your thoughts and emotions patterns (which is a 24/7 practice), not to be at peace 20 minutes a day sitted on your bed. Also, most people don't suffered enough, and therefore don't see any interest to feel better, since they think they are happy. Or they aren't interested in metaphysical questions, which is totally understandable since we're at stage orange worldwide. Eckhart Tolle is a bad example, the reason he got enlightened in 1 night is because he was suffering so much, that he couldn't stand living with "himself" anymore. Very few people would have an enlightenment experience instead of committing suicide with such an experience.

Brace yourself buddy, more shit will come Just remember it's only your imagination that makes it hard, And eventually you won't become clinically crazy

I want to be other with this fear, but at the same time I do everything I can not to feel it. It's like being splitted in two, one part wants to go beyond, and one would do anything to stay put, both knows there is no alternative though. Spiritual teachers aren't lying when they tell you you really need to want it, you need willigness, faith and courage. In my experience if you don't have that you can't pass, you will reject it every time. At that point it's more about letting go and accepting it, and even though it appears less intense and painful, you can sense the deep existential fear that once dug up, could make you mental if you don't let it go. The thing is, you can conceptualize it all you want, you don't know if you're gonna die for real or not. It really doesn't matter, it's all just a big question mark, except your life is the gamble you put on the table. Fortunately, after this, it will all be over How could I ever fear anything if I realize death has never been an issue ? How could I fear anything if I know I'm already beyond death ? I would never fear anything anymore, and just do what I want to do with 0 fuck given I still fear to die, so even though the opinion of other has no impact, the fear od death still run my life, even if it's deeply unconscious (I don't see how it is the case, but it surely does). I don't know what I would do if that would be the case, and I don't even think I want to know. The more unexpected it is, the better (Just don't kill me too quickly ) Please be true

While still feeling it's you ?

I lost it when the police arrested me for child abuse ?

5 pillars of self esteem The power of Now The Untethered Soul Those are good books. I think you should work on your self esteem issue first, you should be secure in yourself and not need anyone to feel complete. Then at that point a relationship will make sense and could really work, if you still choose to have one. Any relationship whatsoever will be a drama and will bring more suffering than happiness if you aren't happy by yourself, because you expect the other people to make you happy (and they do too). That can't never work, and if you look around you you know it's true, almost all couples broke up or divorce at a point, this isn't an accident.