Shin

Is it a coincidence that I'm still not sleeping at 2:30AM ? Am I ……….. scared ?

I don't think there is a difference between a dream and what I am experiencing now, This one just fool me more

What point ?

You can contemplate it how much you want, until you face it and ride with it, it's not gonna go anywhere

Proven in my own (and hundred of people on this forum) experience, so unless you're an alien or have specific brain disorder, You can too.

The same way you give meaning to certain thoughts, which turns into emotions, which turns into loops of despair and self-pity. You have the power to be as blissful as you want to, Or the reverse ...

7,7 billions is enough

MOOJI BLESS ME PLZZZZZZZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At any point now it could happen now, I distract myself all I can, but it's not gonna work It's the first time that I can't follow my daily routine for so long, usually it's at most a few days after a huge event that strikes me down, but this is different, it's like being on the verge of shifting to a whole different reality. It's like being on a rollercoaster, you are climbing fully knowing there is no way out until you start the fall. It's exciting yet extremely terrifying, and there is nothing rational about it unlike in a rollercoaster, it's just pure fear. Everyday I go out and my mind is automatically saying things like "shit, oh shit" or "fuck this, fuck, I'm so fucked" I can see the sense of self shifting to all the visual experiences, If I could walk without looking at anything I would I say that, but it's mesmerizing, so amazingly beautiful that I can't. Also this:

https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/courses/enlightenment-1-part-2-person-wakes-up-to-presence/lesson-24-being-at-ease-with-intense-experiences/ Ultimately you'll have to surrender and endure it though, you can never be ready for something you never experienced.

I don't understand that reference

I'm not seeking anything My perception of reality is changing all by itself, I'm doing nothing. Why do you think I'm that scared, if It looked like I was in control I could just stop it

Are you in a concentration camp ? ?

If that was true, you would have killed yourself. You didn't and won't do it, you just want to experience misery and depression, nothing wrong with that, But you do want it, you like it, A LOT.

On which else would you want to put the blame on ?

Yes you do, otherwise you would stop clinging to your suffering ?

You, Are the devil. ?

That's a byproduct. Never heard any spiritual teacher says it was necessary, some even says it's the work of a lifetime (to have a blank mind).

I think you had the no-self realization, while still having not experiencing the conceptual death. I don't know if that's possible, but you keep talking about death as if you don't know what that is. Your own words «I'm not really sure I can kill me further», I think you would knew 100% if that happened.

Everything I look I'm like: ??? Thank you ?

It looks like you identify to those state of mind + thoughts. In my experience, when I was able to stay behind the thoughts construct all the time, there was never such a rollercoaster ever. It may happen, but I was always there to watch it happen, so It didn't matter. Care more about being the watcher, the seer behind the thoughts, this will set you free, not being a in certain state of mind, this will always change.

This isn't funny dude, I want to pee but I'm too scared lighten the light and see the same shit ? Ok it's a bit funny ??

Dude I don't control it, This is how I felt ???

Leo said in his last video that getting a preview of enlightenment can hinder your progress greatly, yet at the same time he still say s that we all should take 5 meo in all his recent videos. ?