philosogi

@quantum I hear you. I guess I will anecdotally explain where I relate to you in the story and then see where it takes me. I left home for university as soon as I could, to get out of the poisonous home environment (not poisonous in the absolute sense; just that I did not have the tools to deal with it). I was not committed to a self-actualization path at the time, but I intuitively knew that I didn't have the strength or knowledge to have any positive effect where I was, and being there was just going to hold me back. It took huge amounts of energy separate my feelings from my mother's feelings. Leaving did not mean I was giving up on the family forever. It just meant that I was free to pursue my own goals and learn other perspectives. You are much further ahead than I. I'm still learning things about how the family dynamic works and why it was so dysfunctional at the time. But gradually as I learned things, I started to speak my mom's language instead of my own. For me it means saying things that are not really 100% true, are just provocative enough to not raise too much ego, and also contain empathy so the subject feels understood. And then hope that the message gets through just a tiny bit. I have a theory that me distancing myself from my mom is one thing that caused her to come to some of her own realizations. But like others have said, trying to change people can sometimes be like moving a mountain, if they don't want to change. It's a huge and useless commitment that could just damage your relationship. I think maybe the best advice is: have patience. Don't believe you can change them quickly. Be happy if you tried your best to help them from a selfless perspective of love (which your post suggests that is your motivation), even if they never change. But also be happy if you decide it's not your job to help them as you need to focus on your own life right now. Don't have negative feelings about where they are in their journey. Even if it seems like they're walking in place, it's still their journey. A bit more specific advice. When she complains to you, you could simply say, "you seem dissatisfied. I hear you complaining about _____" You need just the right hook to get someone interested in doing better for themself. Find that hook, and then you can start gradually introducing more and more advanced topics. Self-improvement can be a painful journey, so be prepared for lots of resistance when their entire world-view is challenged!

Is your comment a joke? I think he's doing this to help us, actually. When you've reached a certain stage of self-actualization, you realize how much greater everyone's experiences of life could be, and you want to share it with others because of the pain and suffering you can see them in, and the potential you see in them to have so much more out of life. It's an unselfish mindset, and it's wonderful to feel that, because there's no more jealousy, hate, and all these poisonous emotions that ultimately just make you feel shitty. You know, that puddle of squirming lava in your gut? If you ever feel anger/jealousy/hatred, watch out for a feeling like that.

This is a start! But we could all work towards self-actualization ourselves and search inwardly for answers, do our own research, commit to a life of this instead of looking to Leo for the easy distillation! (The lessons are so much better learned when we go about them the slow way, vs if they are spoonfed.) It's like eating vanilla pudding vs eating a balanced meal with all your macros, fibre, and nutrients. You can eat a litre of pudding and not feel satisfied, even though you're getting a sugar high. Conversely, it takes more effort for your body to process all the molecules in the complex meal, and you can eat a smaller portion and feel satisfied. PS. Is that emoji a smiley face with a wise-man goatee?

@Uncover It seems you had a profound realization last week. I think it's an important stage to get through. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that the thought "whatever I will do It will never make me enjoy that enough," is the end of your personal inquiry. Keep questioning. Question the assumptions that went into this, and have an open mind; don't judge yourself for whatever the answer comes up. If you're jealous, accept the part of yourself that is jealous. That doesn't have to define you. Keep doing this until you've found all the assumptions. If YOU believe you "can you find/create an optimistic, full of enthusiasm state of mind that will last," then - and only then - will you find it worth it to embark on the journey to find it. You can't seek external validation for this one, but external support and encouragement is useful. (That's one reason I find Leo's videos so useful. When I'm feeling discouraged, I watch a title of his that seems particularly relevant to what I'm feeling discouraged about, and his logic and ways of thinking shows me the trap that I've put myself in.) And as Leo says for 45 minutes, "Be Fucking Patient! - How To Deal With Lack Of Results"

@Shane Roberts Observe, ask questions to yourself about it, and think deeply about it.

@pixelwave I think some of your answers are in your questions! Have you figured out your ultimate goal? Is your life harmonized towards pursuing that goal? Are there things that you're doing in life that you subconsciously know are not helping you in your personal development? By knowing your ultimate goal in life (which can change by the way!!! you don't have to have one purpose for your whole life) it will help you stay focused on that path, and more of your day to day actions are going to be oriented towards that goal. Devise a way to keep reminding yourself of that goal. It seems you are motivated by being active, by working at your job, and you don't see how showering or getting up is useful to you. Do you see here how you're both judging yourself ("A funny fact"), and worrying about what other people are thinking of you? ("I know that's crazy right") These judgments are holding you back! I used to think that ADD was a silly made-up thing for kids with no discipline, or for victims who label themselves instead of "just pushing through," but I was a kid then Now I think I have it too! I think it stems from many factors. Stress from childhood where we always feel like we need to be on guard, and as we become older, lack of quality focus time. The internet, smartphones, and notifications are all very seductive to our monkey minds, because they're cheap and easy thrills. It's important to recognize this and kick the addiction! Watching Leo's videos is not enough. If you're going to improve yourself, you have to commit to making your life better for yourself, because you're worth it.

I don't think anyone has brought this up yet. Practicing awareness, which I think of basically as: at every continuous moment, having consciousness of body, mind, and interactions with the 'outer world' AKA full consciousness, by definition does not allow you to rush. There's too much to be aware of! So if you haven't already seen Leo's linked video above, I think that's a good starting point. Also, you can investigate why you have such a rushed life. Do you subconsciously give yourself negative self-talk when you're not rushing? Some subconscious self-talk could be "I should be doing something right now," "If I'm not doing everything I can right now, I won't be able to handle a crisis if it comes up," "I'm so lazy." Start asking yourself "why" and keep digging. Don't accept the ego's answers to your questions, which will be uncomfortable, but ultimately you will become stronger and more self-actualized as a result. EDIT: I'm assuming you don't literally mean "stuff"

@LifeLife Practice not caring what people think Practice stopping judging myself Practice pursuing my own desires/dreams vs. my projections of what other people expect of me Yoga (good quality yoga that stems from what my own body feels, not what the instructor is telling me to do) Practice not buying unnecessary new things Practice avoiding addictions (internet, eating, etc...) But at the same time, all these things are part of life. I can't have skipped the stage that I was at, or I would never have gotten to where I am now and been satisfied with my life so far

@JaroslavtotheT Like, freight train hopping? Or purchased train tickets? Good luck finding a traveling companion! How are you going about doing that?

@Leo Gura Did you always see cultures as silly and deluded? And if not, at what stage of your personal development did you come to this belief?

@Lynnel is right. Also, if you are making excuses based on external circumstances, you aren't taking responsibility, and therefore not advancing on the path of self-actualization. The ego makes it hard for us to accept the truth.

Seems like a solid goal! Do you want it enough to commit to this? What's the first place you would go to?

@Hardik jain This might seem like an obvious question, but how is your fast-paced life hurting you?

@Flower The idea that depression is a "medical disease" comes from the DSM, a human construct which creates artificial delineations and categories. In western medicine, there has traditionally been a separation between physical and mental. Physical things like "broken leg" were more easy to understand as they fall into the category of "leg" and "broken" much easier. But because depression is such a complex, systematic, and largely invisible issue, people did not understand it and then pathologized it instead. So doesn't matter what we call it, but its name is not going to change the fact that it's a systematic issue. Also, depression is a spectrum, just like everything else. I think some people are genetically predisposed to depression (someone in their family had it, or chance in the DNA combining process at conception), but that the environment they grow up is also a big influence. Neural pathways can always be trained, but they are easiest to imprint when a young child. So if the young child is raised by a depressive family who are unable to put their own depression aside to provide an emotionally nurturing life for the child, that child is going to grow up and be depressed, or if they react in an opposite way to it (which I think is less common, and a result of chance in DNA combination), maybe they will vilify depression and fight really hard against it. If the child is raised by a family that has overcome its depressive roots, and have emotionally mature habits, are nurturing and provide tools to deal with the child's issues, the child will train different neural pathways and be less likely to fall into depressive tendencies. Bottom line is, the only tool that we have at our disposal, is to "conquer the mind," that is, to challenge any beliefs that we have that are enabling depressive thoughts, and to train ourselves some new and shinier neural pathways! Our feelings follow our thoughts, not vice versa, and that is the flaw of antidepressant chemicals.

@spicy_pickles It's a difficult process to get to know why you're emotional. Your ego is likely blocking you from finding out why. Outsmart your ego! Stop judging yourself! Leo has tons of material on this stuff. Search for his videos on stopping judging, and keep clicking on titles that are relevant to what you perceive is your problem. I think you're judging yourself for being "too emotional." Try asking yourself "why" about simple things. Here's an example. It's hypothetical and kind of my experience: "Why did I get emotional about that sappy card?" "It reminded me of my hometown" "what emotion did I have?" "Nostalgia/sadness" "Why do I feel nostalgia/sadness about my hometown?" "I miss the feeling of the community" "Why do I miss that feeling?" "I don't have it now" - here I'd probably feel a deep sense of pain and emotion; I'd take some time and allow it to wash over me without judging. "Why don't I have it now?" "I haven't taken the time to build it" "Why haven't I taken the time to build it?" "I didn't know I missed it" Other people cannot give you answers that are totally accurate because these answers are personal obvs. Delve into your past. If you are ready, dig deeper. Don't be afraid. Allow yourself time for just yourself where you don't judge yourself. Write down your ideas if that helps you think (I know it helps me think as it keeps me from being evasive and vague with myself).

@Elton Yes, I agree! I think that our consciousness then expects to reach that new "high" every time, so that the high becomes our new "baseline." And so on. I don't think this discounts what experience you had during that first high though. You can still journal the whole trip after the fact. You might be surprised how much you can recall from it by sitting with no distractions and focusing on the memory. And then you can examine your realizations and sit with them again, which can reinforce them if you still agree, or you can throw some of them out if you no longer think they're helping you.

It's not just happening to you!! It happens to most people. A start is to discover why people react that way (we care what people think). Have you watched Leo's video, How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You ? As you get to the bottom of the issue on an intellectual level, you can also practice getting over it, by keeping in mind the faulty logic that is causing you to react in that fearful way. Another thing which I've found personally is very useful that I haven't gotten from Leo explicitly, is to recognize the adrenaline rush for what it is, and instead of being afraid of it, gradually learning to kind of "surf" the energy. I'm trying to use the adrenaline energy to my advantage instead of it using me!

Maybe you can order it domestically so it never even touches customs.

What does your pineal gland feel like???

Watch Leo's Awareness video. I think that if we practice being more aware from moment to moment in our everyday lives, we will be more and more aware of our bodies, and then our bodies will fall less and less into the lazy posture mode.