philosogi

@Vegeta it's not bashing. Acceptance that our society is ill is the first step to making it better. Peace.

@Xpansion there's a lack of empathy in north american society and it's sick. Sick. Huge emphasis on "every man for himself." I believe this is basically a by-product of capitalism, where the rhetoric comes from the ones with all the resources (in this case emotional, but applies also to material) who don't want to share. People who are willing to listen without feeling uncomfortable and squirmy about your situation are rare!!! I think they are secretly miserable but won't admit it to themselves. There's also a relentless tendency to put a brave face on everything.

@z2ludgfyyxnz Thought you might be interested in this:

@Lorcan I think it's important to keep in mind that at 14 the body is still developing, and everyone develops at a different pace. I think it's equally important to overcome any limiting beliefs about bodies. And also not to over-train, or train with bad form, because that can cause long-term injury. All of that being said, a good workout to start with is P90x. It's a 90 day program. It slayed me when I first started it at about age 20, but by the end of two rounds, I was strong as (#*$%. I used it a few years later to train for Tough Mudder. While I was doing P90x, my body has felt the most mobile and strong. Don't skip the yoga. If you do it right, it's a really good overall body workout with a greater emphasis on statics than reps. The key is to push yourself to "failure" (with good form of course).

if you can think of a way to subvert the system, what's stopping you?

I think it's important to think of masturbation, orgasm and various sexual moods differently. Kind of like the way that yoga, crossfit, and marathons don't produce the same effects. Nothing "should" be anything. Sometimes it will be one way, sometimes it will be another way. Depends what you make of it.

@Telepresent Sure, it's just about how it's used. And not used as an escape or addictive behaviour.

I doubt it's a miracle food/drug. Like anything else, it has benefits and costs. Probably meditation is better at lowering stress levels, improving sleep, and health. Caffeine is a highly addictive compound, so if you're prone to addiction, and/or you develop a caffeine habit, not having the caffeine can cause headaches. The only drawback I can think of is that, as well as if someone is trying to kick all addictive behaviours, then probably not good to start on caffeine.

@spicy_pickles Don't think about failure as an absolute, final, or real thing. It might be difficult to see this one opportunity as the make-or-break one, but there will be others if you seek them. Think about the interview as if you're interviewing them to see if they will be suitable to lead you. It takes empathetic, skilled, organized, and knowledgeable leaders to get the best out of their employees. At the end of the day, you're pursuing your own growth.

We were not "meant" to be slaves (to our egos, I'm assuming you mean). Follow your truth and trust in yourself. People have transcended the ego state before, so why can't you?

@Steven Amazing the clarity of your memory at such a young age as well as your self control. Did you continue to have similar thoughts as you got older?

Wow, this topic is bringing to light so many misconceptions, caricaturizations, and polarization between genders. Maybe if we stopped believing we were so different from each other, we could understand each other more, and on a deeper level than what society has taught us "woman" and "man" are. Neuroscience teaches us that the brain is greatly plastic. I think the more plastic we believe it is, the more plastic our brains are. We make our reality. And if the reality we're looking for is that "women are so advanced they think this forum is a kindergarten playground" (-paraphrase) how can we believe or see anything else?

Notice it, embrace it, practice it. Ask yourself why you're bored, write down your responses, keep digging. Research why you might be bored. A common source of boredom is the level of stimulation many people are used to because of tv, video games, that old story. Also Leo has some things to say about boredom in this video:

Another woman's insight: Ego is not just what we think of as the "bad" parts of ego. Ego is our whole concept of self as an individual. The idea that you think you're unassuming and meek is an egoic self-identification. Just sayin! This woman likes a man who is above all else, present, loves talking about ideas, loves sex, who lovingly challenges, who plays with me psychologically but is not attempting to manipulate me, who is not intimidated but also not contemptuous. But different women like different things. If you share what you're interested in, you'll attract those people who are also interested in it. The jerks and whatever dudes I think you're talking about in your original post are lame and boring. And acting like those dudes are going to get you the quality of woman who is taken in by that BS.

OK, the title probably needs some work. I'd love some help/hear your insights about how rigid thinking and a need for order can keep someone stuck, and more importantly, how to break free.

@Raphael Try another one. Also, try searching for "relational therapy;" that's where I found the most help when working on my own social anxiety problem. Ultimately the root of my social anxiety problem is a fear of others judging me, because I tend to judge them. Not sure if a similar thing applies to you, but I found it most helpful to start to free myself from this trap. Leo has lots of relevant videos. I found these the most helpful in this situation:

@Lior It's also possible that you had some habits that you judged as "good" back then and had instated them using negative motivations, e.g., "if I don't go to the gym I'll be fat so I have to go to the gym." Doing spiritual work undoes these negative motivations because they are ego-driven and not higher-self driven. You can still regain these habits you judge as "good," so you're going to have to convince your newer, less-ego-driven self that you really want to.

@Tim2374 I had this too. It's not "you" getting the panic/anxiety. It's your ego, which is afraid that its identity is going to be dismantled. Be kind to your ego but don't let it run the show. Mine is like a small child wanting recognition, that tries to play the victim so that it can feel entitled to certain treatment etc... Different people's egos are different sizes and are triggered by different subjects, and end up that way from different histories (genetic and environmental). I thought it would useful to understand why my ego behaved like it did, and I ended up getting stuck in victimhood for several months. It was an icky icky gross place to be. My whole state of anxiety lasted for years (I've been doing gradual and gentle self-inquiry since I was a child, but really ramped it up a few years ago) and it's only when it got too unbearable that I was able to move on to the next step. So welcome the anxiety because you can learn from it. Don't worry that you won't be able to handle an enlightenment experience. You will only get there when you're ready. You won't be able to get there if there's fear. You could do more research about the things that give you anxiety if they're concrete like disease. Perhaps having a deep understanding of disease will make it less mysterious and therefore less scary.

@Harvey Have you seen all of these of Leo's videos? Did you try the techniques? I've found them extremely useful!

Create "Game of Thrones."

If ego evolved to protect us, it's probably lagging behind all the recent developments in human history, like relative safety from attacks from neighbouring tribes and predatory animals. So there are relatively few "real" dangers now than there used to be. You seem to be saying vulnerability is a bad thing? Who is the "we" you are referring to? The current human population? Or the human race in general? Or consciousness? And when you say survive, do you mean our physical bodies, or the real "Being?" Ego is actually blocking the real "Being" from real consciousness. Our perception of consciousness is an illusory, inadequate, and poor reflection of what real consciousness can be, and often we are under the illusion that we're conscious when really we are acting unconsciously in most of our behaviours. What are our interests? Whose interests? Why do we need them? You will start to know once you've glimpsed what it is to let go of the ego for a moment. It's not the same for everyone.

@Donald This could be a good place to investigate. http://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/09/06/492779594/what-if-evolution-bred-reality-out-of-us

Has Elon Musk done any enlightenment work, and what colour on the Spiral Dynamics scale is he? On one hand, he seems to have a very big-picture view of humanity, but on the other hand, he's profiting off making cars, rockets, and solar panels. He's risked his profits (according to economists, recklessly at times) to embark on new idealistic ventures that are supposed to make the world a little less destructive when compared with the status quo. I think he has huge potential; his brain is on point. If he hasn't encountered enlightenment work already, I hope it is on his path! So whatchall think?

Have you ever intentionally un-judged an individual that you had previously judged? How did you do it? Did it happen all of a sudden, or did you have to work on it over time?

@Trevor Herrick Hang in there. You want to change things, and the fact you're here shows you have a level of self-awareness, which is a headstart in this battle. Many people don't have this self-awareness. It's a great tool that will help you as time goes on. Maybe a good place to start is to seek a relational therapist. I started seeing one about a year ago, and the coaching and perspective they provided was a great start. And actualized.org is a great continuation. Check out Mazlow's Hierarchy for life priorities too!