SFRL

I have switched to Tazo Chai Tea. I like it a lot. It makes me really mellow and at the same time very focused. It's not the manliest of drinks, but hey Ying and Yang you know. That's what I prefer to drink over the day now. And sometimes I will drink coffee strategically when I need some peak energy when I get rushed.

Good sex is definitely important to me as well yes. It's more important then looks to me. In general it seems like better looks do result in better sex for me. Although that relationship isn't necesairly always true. Intelligence seems to be important for the long term succes of the relationship in my experience. From my experience it works best with a partner of equal or greater intelligence. That's specially true when it comes to conflict solving.

https://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-dark-triad-test-1 Here is a Dark Triad personality test. The 3 Dark Triad personality traits are Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy.

Push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks. Do we get to furnish this room?

@YaNanNallari man you are fine. She enjoyed it, and she even made out with you. So you are moving right along. Usually you have feelings for this girl right? So one off night because you had your business to handle doesn't change a thing. And like I said she enjoyed it so you are good. You will always have these moments and days. Man you can even have weeks, months or years like that. Do you think that if you let's says marry this girl and you stay with her till death do you part. Do you think that you will never have a moment where you are not feeling it? Of course you will. But it's about the bigger picture man.

@Peace and Love women should not make themselves less hot looking because guys get intimidated by their sexiness. If women stop wearing sexy clothes, and lipstick, no longer do their make-up, no longer wear high heels, and no longer dance sexy in the club because guys are afraid to talk to them.......thats INFLATION. Everybody loses. Honestly I believe that if a woman is not slightly 'intimidating' then she is not worth it. Then you can do better. As a guy you have to understand that feeling 'INTIMIDATING'. Intimidating is not what it really is. Its something else. Its: "Flight or flight". Everybody has that mechanism. When you are faced with a dangerous or challenging situation you can do two thing. 1)Run 2)Fight. It was that way when men had to hunt Mammoth to eat, and its like that when you have to approach a woman. Back in prehistoric days you could put traps to catch rabbits, You could pick berrys if you wanted to play it real safe. But the meat and resources like hide and bone from the Mammoth were far more tasty and rewarding. That did come with a risk though. So you had to choose make that kill or eat berrys. The same when you approach a woman. The sexier the woman the more options she has with men. So as a guy to stand out you have to bring your A-game. Or you might get rejected. But the reward is higher as well. Also for personal development as a guy when you want to get that sexy woman. That way you cant cut any corners. You have to build yourself up to be the quality guy that can get women like that. So a guy has to embrace that fight or flight feeling. Understand that what he has spotted is a woman that is not 'intimidating' but worth effort. And get hunting. Or he can run and eat berrys.

Becarefull man, that could easily be interpreted as an insult on her end. You are a young man you got your whole life to live!!! Don't do it!!!

Ego alert!! ?

You will need a job. If I was in your position I would look into being a flight attendant or work on a cruiseship. Decent money and lots of travel. These are also highly social jobs but hey rise to the occasion. Also you don't necesairly need an education in those fields to get the job. The company will train you for that job. Or get certified as a personal trainer. You can do that online in like two months. And meanwhile hit the gym. Your body probably needs better taken care after. And on the upside you are 30 and reborn now buddy. You fucked up your life so far, so did and will a lot of other people. Going into your 30s and 40s wait for the waves of divorces, burnouts, and midlife crisis among your peers for a level playing field?. (Dark humor)

Hey Leo, I think your channel is great. I have been following it for a year now. And I have been getting some good results. What I think would be cool is if you were to start a series of travel documentaries where you travel to Mystical places all around the world and tell people all about these different Mystical Traditions. Like in Japan, Tibet, India, Peru, The Vatican, Mecca, tribes in the Amazon and Africa etc. etc. You could tell about their background story, interview people, and show the places on film, and participate yourself. You have great knowledge about these thing, and you have a good presentation on camera and a good voice. Maybe you could launch the episodes on a TV network or otherwise you already have a successful channel here on Actualized.org where you could launch it. Regards, STC

@eskwire congratulations. I wouldn't say the belts don't matter. I try not to think in absolutes like that, but rather try to see it in the right perspective.

@Vaishnavi conversations in person can do that as well. But these people you will have to interact regardless, you still need to go to work or school. A typical friendlist on FB got like what 300 'friends'? All sharing their information that's completely useless to you. This all goes into your head. By deleting FB you will open up more space in your head. It's a minimalistic approach. So you can focus in the important things that are left.

America definitely got issues lol. I live in the US now. When I go back to Europe I can tell that people in Europe generally seem happier.

@Richard Alpert If people actually work out at 30 yes. Otherwise they will go down the drain fast. People in their teens and early 20's they tend to be in at least half decent shape no matter what they do.

@eskwire so did you get the black belt? I would congratulate you. But I cant make that up out of your story. Now you see you say you meet your health and fitness goals there doing Karate. Now you see that is a very important thing, but thats something you take for granted and therefore not give the proper appreciation. I used to do boxing competitively. And I was in great shape. I trained a lot and very hard. And of course I knew that I was in great shape because of the hard training. Being in better shape then the other guys was my goal because I knew that way I could beat them. It wasnt about health or looking good. That was a nice side effect, but the goal always was beating the competition. When I was 17/18 and I just started boxing I would go train outside with some guys outside of gym hours. There was this guy I trained with he needed to get ready for a fight, and I wanted to learn so I helped him out and he would teach me some things. And we came to this conversation, I was 18 he was 30. And he said: "When you are your age you have the eternal youth. Because every year you get older you are the same age. Every year you get older you are still young. But there comes a time that you get older. Then you can see you get older,and you will feel you get older. And then you realize you get older and you dont have the eternal youth anymore." And I am like nodding my head like "yeah, yeah, yeah" saying I understand. I mean I looked up to this guy right. And he is like: "No you dont understand. At your age you cant understand. Right now you have the eternal youth. But you will understand when you are 30". And this guy he wasnt intelligent at all. His IQ was definitely below average. But he was right about that. So I go on with boxing right, getting better, getting in better shape, and there is this tournament I wanted to win. Thats what I had my sights on. And then I won the tournament. And then after that I experienced the same as you did. You reach that goal that you wanted to reach and then afterwards its like and what now? Well now its time to grow. Basically you crossed the river and now you are in new lands. And what are you going to do there? Its not mapped out. So that is the challenge. For me I decided to go do other things. Go for new adventures. And I figured well I always trained so hard and so much. I wont have time to do that anymore. I may be able to train 3 times a week but thats not even close to what I do now so that way I will regress anyways so let me just stop training altogether. So what happens I dont train anymore I eat whatever I want and I get out of shape. Like most other people are out of shape. And this happened in my early twentys. So then when I hit 30 I am out of shape. And I decide to get back in shape. And its just much harder then I thought it was. Of course because I had not worked out properly for like 7 years. Bad eating habits. Some other bad habits. And the thing is. When you look at people in their 30's. The majority is out of shape and fat, old, and ugly. And why is that? 1) They got older 2) Accumulating affect of bad habits year after year getting to them 3) Bad eating habits 4) No exercise. Number 1 you cant change. 2,3,4 you can. And in your 30's those are the most important ones. In your 30's you are still not that old. But the thing is when they are young nobody appreciates their "eternal youth" and then they just have these bad habits and then once people hit 30 you really see a divider among people. The ones that take care of their health and workout. And they keep looking fresh and young. And the ones that dont and they become fat, sick, and ugly. So now you are 30 I see. But you are not that old and probably in good shape. But you are blind to how great that really is. You let that go you will become less self actualized because it has positive influences on your life that you dont recognize right now because you dont appreciate what you have and what karate gives you.

@Issa Campusano yeah did you have people ask you if you were ok when you quit Facebook? I had several people asking me that, they thought something must be wrong. And I am just thinking: No, I am doing really good actually. Lol

@Issa Campusano quit multi-media (Facebook). You will be surprised how much you are logging in Facebook everyday without even thinking about that action. The quality of my thoughts has really improved since I have done that. And my sleep as well. Your Facebook feed is a constant stream of external impulses that activate your mind to process them. You cant help it, once you see it or read it you got to process it. If you tend to day dream a lot that can trigger day dreaming. The impulses from reading multi-media are external so they enter your thoughts from the outside. If you read on Facebook that someone had pasta for dinner, like what use has that information for you really? And that is not even a negative example. Thats very neutral and insignificant example. But you read it so now you got to process it. That thought might trigger a spin-off thought like people eat pasta in Italy. So now you need to process that as well. Taking up more room in your head. Another spin-off and now you start thinking about maybe you want to go on vacation to Italy. That sounds very nice.....and there you go daydreaming about a vacation in Italy. And these examples are not necessarily that bad, but if it wasnt for a comment of someone else on Facebook you would never have thought about pasta probably, or that vacation in Italy. Maybe nice thoughts but completely useless to you 9 out of 10 times. Of course you can easily come up with more negative examples, the process works the same, the difference is that its even more harmful. So when you delete FB and whatever other multi-media then you are left with much more room for thoughts that internally come up in you. I call it your own thoughts. And this also taps into motivation because it is known that intrinsic motivation is much stronger then external motivation.

@Peace and Love sure PM me.

What can prevent daydreaming is double timing your chores like folding laundry, cleaning, dishes etc. Those are not really the most stimulating activities and it's easy to let your mind drift off. When you try to get them done more rapidly then you have to put some focus in it. And after you can move on to activities that inherently take more focus/are more stimulating to the mind.

@philosogi I like games. I like videogames, I like board games, I like sports that's a game, I liked chasing women too. It's a fun game at the early stages.

You may find this model to calculate your Sexual Market Value useful as well. http://revolutionarylifestyledesign.com/calculate-maximize-sexual-market-value/ It's food for thought.

Lol!! Yeah that's just wrong in several ways.

Yeah I would never meet a woman halfway driving distance on the first date. That still makes the guy half a woman. The first date the guy should drive the full length. But I dont mind driving. In a relationship it would be different sometimes if it is necessary for logistics. To me if no serious action takes place within the first 3 dates then that is really not something I would pursue further I think. Not at least a kiss on the first date that would be a letdown as well. Then maybe if she is nice there can be a second date, but if after that second date there still is no action going on then thats not something I would pursue further either. As far as the Red Flags go. That can be tricky because if you long and hard enough you can find fault in anyone. I think especially later in life if people had a few bad experiences then they get so paranoid they are constantly on the look out for these Red Flags that they cant just let things unfold.

@Peace and Love yeah women do approach men as well online. I have had women approach me. But fact is far more man approach women online then women approaching men. So I cant tell @Scarecrow that he should sit back and wait for a woman to approach him. Plus its more manly to be in the drivers seat. Me personally I like to pick the girls that I talk to. Like you said yourself, pursuing is part of what makes a man. And yeah I agree, I have sworn off the TV a long time ago as well.

@Scarecrow she @Peace and Love did you a favor by giving a woman's perspective. And she did you give you a lot of other good advice. You are not going to get 50 e-mails in a week's time and "weed out" 3 people you like, as she put it, out of those 50 e-mails and go on dates to see which one you like the best. That's a females perspective and a fundamental difference when it comes to men and women when it comes to dating. Women are the ones that get approached and that is very true for online dating as well. As a man you will have to make your presence known to several women and then you can do your "weeding out" from there so to speak. How are those profiles coming along?