Zane

Motivation videos are just one tool out of many and they can be profound! It's the same with motivational quotes or nuggets of advice or wisdom! Motivation videos can work great as a source of inspiration! I'm focusing on applying what i've learned from those videos.

The Top Ten Things You Want But Don't Know You Want I'm watching Leo's Top Ten Things You Want and I realized that I'm achieving a few of these things on the list but I realize that I could go farther 1. Reality feeling magical This happens to me whenever I'm walking outside on a beautiful sunny day and thoughts aren't disrupting me or disturbing me. It feels like my mind is clear and deeply relaxed and I'm focusing on the sunshine and I'm just enjoying it. It feels like all the mental fog and monkey chatter has lifted. It's like a baby blue sky that's sunny and all the fluffy white clouds are out. Reality also feels magical when i recapture that childhood feeling of being so deeply immersed in a movie or story that time flows by. Reality feels magical when i'm watching an AMAZING theater production and i'm speechless with awe. I also feel it when i feel deeply relaxed while meditating and it recaptures that feeling of sleeping like a baby. I've also been focusing on mindfully savoring tea and coffee and re-connecting with how delicious it is. 2. Things to be completely effortless I'm focusing on making my creativity, happiness, and bliss feel completely effortless where it just flows by and I don't feel blocked or exhausted at all. I'm focusing on achieving that peak experience state and flow state but i want to know how to achieve it where i get so immersed and hyperfocused that time just flows by and it doesn't feel like i'm rushing to beat the clock. 3. Authenticity At the theater and on the mic where I recite my poetry, this is where my authenticity SHINES!!! I'm starting to cut through the bullshit of the inner critic and the fear of humiliation by just getting up on stage and creating what I want when i want. I deeply desire having a devil may care attitude where I have the freedom and the power to do what i want and be intoxicated with life's joys and cut loose and be spontaneous. 4. Dispassionate Mind I realize that my mind tends to fall deeply in love with ideas, stories, and academic fields but what I'm focusing on is relaxing my mind and detaching from thoughts through meditation. My meditation is just sitting in a chair deeply relaxed and just focusing on the moment without the mind going into monkey mind. There's nothing wrong with the mind or ego or thoughts. The mind, ego, and thoughts can be beneficial but also deceptive. I want to focus on training my ego and mind and using it to my advantage rather than an enemy. 5. Full soberness/lucidity I want to wake up in the morning feeling completely motivated and ready for an awesome day rather than waking up feeling exhausted and dreading Monday. I want to wake up feeling like it's Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I want to feel completely awake and with no mental fog or feeling exhausted. 6. The desire to be nobody An alternative to that want is having a fluid sense of identity and self-image where identity is in a state of flux and that you can create and customize identity however you want to. You can program yourself with beliefs and mindsets and emotions and passions and skills and you can focus on experimenting with a wide variety of identities rather than settling on an identity or clinging to an identity. You can even choose to be a blank slate but it's one option out of many. Identity is the canvas and you are the painter who is free to do whatever you want to with the canvas. 7. Samahdi Samadi is a potential state that I can achieve during meditation but I'm just getting started on meditation as a daily habit and as a tool for self-actualization. Altered states of consciousness is a possibility that I'm far away from but in the coming months or a year, I could have a profound experience!!! 8. Truth I'm fascinated by discovering my authentic self and what my true passions are and what's my best life path. I'm focusing on balancing discovery with raw experience with researching rather than solely relying on rationality. For my self-actualization, i'm willing to use a wide variety of resources. 9. Benevolence For benevolence, I'm focusing on becoming a teacher for lower income students and struggling students in Las Vegas. However, my authentic benevolence would probably come from a place of comedy and desire to make people laugh, to fascinate and intrigue people, and to make them think. 10. Simple and natural lifestyle In Las Vegas, when i move, i will focus on living a rich and fulfilling life but by carving out large areas of free time and using the free time to take nature trips to Lake Meade, Red Rock, Grand Canyon or Zion National Park. I want to deeply immerse my life in passions and rich experiences but also focusing on relaxing so I have time to create, meditate, and contemplate. I want to focus on making my life feeling like those childhood vacations and 100% freedom and flexibility over my life. I strongly value freedom and flexibility over life! Here are my deepest desires 1. Being authentic and having a fluid and detached sense of identity and beliefs where my ego is completely flexible and open to new ideas. My vision for my authentic self is the lovable comedian with an aura of charisma that comes deeply from his passion and being uninhibited and free from all the internal and external restraints. I create and act based on intuition and merging my heart and my mind into one! My authentic self is effortlessly creativity! 2. Being free to create my life and my identity and my mind however I want to! My mind is detached from absolutes and shoulds and embraces new experiences and adventures, paradox, uncertainty, expanding consciousness but who also sees the benefit of comfort as a tool rather than rejecting the comfort zone. 3. Having the personal power of a billionaire and an artist who does what he wants whenever he wants and who has abundance and is anti-scarcity mindset. He is free to live life his own way with nobody controlling him. He has the impunity and the confidence to act on any vision like a Tim Burton or Quentin Tarnatino. 4. To live a richly fulfilling life where i was able to be truly limitless.

@heisenburger Those are great rituals!! My morning ritual is morning meditation for 20 minutes while having tea or coffee before I begin my creative writing and i do creative writing in the morning. Meditation clears my mind and empowers me for the day!

I have a new meditation habit and it's been coming along great. My motives for meditation is for to awaken and trigger my creativity, self-actualization, deep relaxation, lucidity of mind and for self-hypnosis. I want to ask people on the forum "what are your motivations for meditation? Why do you meditate?" I see meditation as a way to find inner peace during drastic social change and so I can focus on staying calm while other people are bitter and angry.

Breakthroughs For Creative Writing and Meditation 2017 IS GOING GREAT SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made HUGE progress on my creative writing portfolio and my meditation habit. For my creative writing portfolio, I have 100 pages written so far and I'm impressed by that!!! I think what contributed to that high productivity was morning meditation and morning coffee which are my rituals to release my creativity by awakening the mind from sleep. It makes me want to go even farther and do even better with my creative writing! I've had a few blockages but i was able to write something! For my meditation habit, I've been meditating consistently and every day and my current meditation time is 11 hours which is breaking the record I expected. I expected to meditate for 10 minutes a day or 20 minutes a day but I divide my meditation sessions into a day and night session. I notice how I'm mastering my creative writing portfolio and my meditation habit and I''m trying to figure out the psychology behind it. Why have I been so committed to creative writing, meditation, and took my first job offer in just a few weeks? IT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! I highly doubt that it has anything to do with luck!! I want to know the secret behind my success!!

The nice girl/bitch and Nice Guy/Asshole paradigm is WAY TOO LIMITING!!!!!!! What i genuinely desire is an authentic woman with a devil may care attitude to life where she's free to live as she pleases and is carefree and grounded in her purpose and values. She embraces her femininity or masculinity or a balance of both authentically. She is free from gender roles and identity rigidity and is very fluid with identity and she's a creator and she's free from neurosis and has a radiant charisma and devil may care attitude that states "I do what I want, when I want." She also refuses to intervene and create drama because she's aware of how petty and draining and useless it is.

I've been starting to apply self-hypnosis in my life through binaural beat meditations for lucid dreaming and sleep every night.

I strongly value freedom, creativity, creating my own life, pursuing pleasure and passion driven by purpose, creating my own values, creating my own purpose, simplicity, and being childlike.

I used Phillips headphones!

I just did a 30 minute meditation session to binaural beats for dreams and I just had an AWESOME experience!! My eyes closed deeply and I was fully aware of my breath and it felt like I was in a deeply relaxing and serene trance like I was taking a nice long nap. Has anyone had that experience while meditating before and if so, what does this state mean? Is the trance stage I felt a step to something even bigger and more amazing on the horizon? I'M HYPED FOR MORE DAILY MEDITATION!!!!!!!

MEDITATION BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had one of my BEST meditation sessions EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! I did a meditation to lucid dreaming binaural beats and I had a deep trance state where my eyes got really heavy and closed and it felt like I was in a deeply relaxing sleep. Has anyone who meditated had that trance state before? If so, what is the trance a sign of? Is the trance a sign of progress for something much better?

Starting from Scratch During August 2016, I met a girl through the dating website OkCupid and I felt a rush of passion because of the passions we shared for similar movies and travel. We talked on Facebook from August to October and we were hitting it off GREAT!!!!!! It always put me in a great mood and lifted my spirits. We even arranged to have a couple Skype chats and those went very well! However, one night after a Skype chat, I unintentionally upset her when I pointed out how our chat was a tad "awkward." For the rest of the week I didn't message her because she was really sick and at first, I worried that I did something wrong. A week later she enthusiastically messaged me back and we arranged to meet in person in October. Our first meeting almost fell through because of her financial issues but during early October, we arranged to meet for coffee! We were able to meet and it was SO EXCITING when she instantly recognized and greeted me with a passionate attack hug. As we walked together, we held hands warmly together and it felt wonderful. However, she was under stress because she ran out of money and was looking for a parking space so we parked at my house. We went out to coffee together but she was detached and barely responsive during our coffee meeting and I focused on trying to cheer her up. When we got back home, she lay on my bed with me and we cuddled. It was such an AMAZING and powerful experience where an AMAZING new side of her opened up when she roleplayed as Harley Quinn, the Joker's girlfriend and it was amazing!!! She started french kissing me and I called her my "twitchy witchy girl" in a sweet pet name way. When she was leaving, i gave her a final hug and kiss. Then later that night she told me that she enjoyed spending time with me but when I mentioned theater, i unintentionally made her sad because she had a passion for it and lost it due to a lot of stress and she wanted some space for awhile. I waited for the rest of the month and we messaged each other occasionally but we lost that spark! I messaged her a few times during Christmas and New Years to wish her a good holiday and she responded simply. To start off the New Year, one of my main goals was to restart our friendship on a clean slate and unfortunately, she told me "you're too good for me! I'm not your kind of girl! I can't compete with your passion and energy!" Honestly, I don't feel crushed or angry by this because there's no point in raging at her, blaming her, or lashing out. She's going through a hard time and I just want to be a good friend! Maybe it's best that we split on good terms so I can give her space! I genuinely love her and I feel like she loves me but she's deeply aware of her low self-esteem and she has been through a lot of inner pain and stress in her life. I realize that I have a deep compassion for her and if i let her go, it would freeing to us both. I want her to realize her inner potential and I wanted to help be her light and have hope for her own future. I think she needs to take massive action for personal development! However, she didn't break up with me out of spite or anger, I think she did it because she didn't want to hurt me with her baggage and not drag me into it! For that, I commend her! Though i do wish her all the best and a good life! I realize that dating her was something i don't regret at all because it brought me much closer to self-actualization and reminded me of what peak experiences, flow, and finding a soulmate could be like. This is a sneak preview to self-actualization!!!! What I need to do is to focus on moving on and forgiving her, enjoying life, discovering purpose and happiness, and keep on living and being creative! It's a waste of time for self-pity! I realize that the people i vibe the most deeply with tend to struggle with mental illness and feel like social misfits and "weird." Maybe i gravitate to the misfits because we both have deep passion within us and we strongly identify with Tim Burton. My strategy is to continue seeking out my soul mate but focus on creating a social circle! i need to choose self-actualized people who feel like misfits but who have a passion and energy for life and who are AWESOME people!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm on the discovery path and I'm excited to follow the path to see where it goes! What could happen next?

Realizations I've Had I remember how a couple Thanksgivings ago in 2014, the majority of the teenagers at Thanksgiving dinner were on their phones. It was then I realized how detached I feel from people ESPECIALLY people my age and how lonely I've felt. The truth is with these people I struggle deeply to talk to them because of the complete lack of chemistry or mutual passions. If I tried explaining my mind and my crazy ideas, I would be laughed at. However, I realized that around my true friends, I can be an effortless socializer. I notice how EASILY I gravitate towards bubbly and highly creative people ESPECIALLY theater students or actors. At my college theater and my favorite theater in Arlington VA, I'm beloved by the cast because of how bluntly and unapologetically I express my energy. I notice how around mellow and laidback introverts, I become WAY LESS awkward because i feel completely at ease. Introverts AMAZE me because while they appear quiet, they have AMAZING minds. I notice how at my college, I made some of the best friends in my life and I realize that i vibe easily with misfits. For example, an introverted girl who was a traveler and former actress and photographer struggling with depression completely opened up to me and cuddled me and truly showed me deep love and that felt AMAZING!!!!!! I see that potential within her!!! Around my true friends, i can say "I love you" completely genuinely with no apologies. If I can date any fictional character or celebrity it would be Belle, Coraline, Ramona Flowers, and if any actress Zooey Deschanel, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter or Emma Watson. Why these characters and actresses? It's because of my deep attraction to eccentric, intelligent, and beautiful and purpose-driven. I tend to get easily attracted to artists, comedians, Mature Souls and Old Souls. I'm fully confident that I will discover my soul mate! I'm getting closer and closer and i realize that soul friends and soul mates do exist!

Feelings about the Future Today is Trump's inauguration and its so hard for me to say that with a straight face! I can't deny it! Trump will be our next President! Trump outrages me on so many levels but my deepest anger is how he embodies everything that is a perversion of my greatest passions. Trump embodies the true ugliness of grandiosity and narcissism in America ESPECIALLY Corporate America with the lust for money and power. Trump is my bully if he was given power!! He's the worst kind of bully!! The bully with impunity!! If I met Trump when I was younger, I can see him as the domineering bully who would beat me up and mock me for being "crazy," "weirdo" or a "loser" for my esoteric passions of creativity, storytelling, and movies. I can see him and his cronies chasing me and beating me up and faking "niceness" to me only to humiliate me horribly! However, Trump is monstrous yet fascinating! What makes him so fascinating is how he is an embodiment and a deep metaphor and a perversion of Americana!! He's such a force of personality and he has the freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I strongly admire people with that limitless power and freedom but I'm specifically referring to my role models consisting of Tim Burton, Neil Gaiman, Laika Studios and Quentin Tarantino who have deep passion, a creative genius, a visionary mindset, and that complete confidence in their crazy ideas!! They're unapologetic for their craziness and they fully embrace it!! They have the freedom to create something that embodies deep passions and they are so in love with their craft!! While i love how laidback and relaxed Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman could be and how passionate Tarantino is. I admire them for their geek pride and how they fully embrace their passions unapologetically!! There's something admirable about unapologetic authenticity!! However, while Trump is unapologetically himself, that's EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!!!! He fully embraces being an asshole and celebrates humanity's worst qualities. He's a perversion of authenticity!!! He's the Internet Troll who excuses being an asshole as "I did it for the lulz" "I'm just being honest!" "stop being a whiny SJW" However what Trump shows me is how I have a yuge (as he would say) advantage over him!!! My advantage is that I'm focusing on creating an AMAZING self-actualized life based on purpose, passion, personal values, and guided by a vision to create that life for myself!! The AMAZING news is the progress I'm making!! Yesterday, I got accepted into Nevada Teaching Corps and i have an phone interview later today for a teaching opportunity in New Orleans which I'm proud of!! I have so much to grateful for and excited for and 2017 is already becoming a great year!! I will focus on embodying the great qualities of my role model with that freedom, creativity, passion, and chutzpah and I will embrace it unapologetically!!!! I will embody Tim Burton, Neil Gaiman and all my role models!!! I WILL RESIST TRUMP BY BEING F@CKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Realization about Meditation WOW!!!!!! I just looked at Leo's meditation and I'm realizing how meditation embodies the paradox of being simple yet deep. Meditation is simple yet deep because it applies to Mastery, Just Do It, Happiness, Patience, Motivation, Self-actualization, Inner/Outer World Distinction, Deliberate Practice, Failure Is Good, Positive Thinking, Emotional Awareness, being a Creator, Being Proactive, Flow, Kaizen, Mind Power, Goal Setting, Habit Building, Momentum, States vs Stages, Learning=Behavior Change, Sedona Method, Shadow Work, Law of Attraction, Subconscious Mind, Willpower, Identity Level Change, Creating Mood, Nominalized Identity, Block Time, Theory vs Practice Ratio, Enlightenment, Outcome-Independence, Emotional Labor, Challenging Yourself, Lifelong Learning, Delayed Gratification, Being Present, Visualization, Affirmations, Contemplation, Knowing Yourself, and Creative Process. Meditation is the process of training your mind by teaching the mind to calm down and to be still by observing thoughts and emotions. All of these connections shows how vast and deep meditation is yet it's deceptively simple.

NEW RECORD FOR MEDITATION It's only Thursday and I broke my time record for meditation!!!!!!! Last week, in total, for the entire week I meditated for 130 minutes and this week, I totaled the time I spent meditating and I meditated for 153 minutes so far and the week isn't even over yet!!!! I'm making HUGE progress with my meditation which could be a sign that my meditation habit is fully installed and that meditation doesn't feel like a chore but a genuine passion. Maybe meditation is one of my deep passions and I'm fully realizing it now!!! IT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it possible that meditation is my Zone of Genius? If yes, than what is my authentic Zone of Genius and how deep does it go?

Thanks Liam!!!!!!! We should keep in touch and get to know each other better because i love talking to fellow creatives. I would also love to motivate your housemate. What i've learned and what i'm applying is the ZFG (Zero F@cks Given) Principle which means to act on your creative instincts and tell the inner critic "SHUT THE F@CK UP AND GET OFF MY BACK!!!!" I've been focusing on just writing and enjoying it and reciting poetry and getting into the flow of it and even if i stumble, I find another poem. I've been acting with a "nothing to lose" and "fuck it" mindset where you motivate yourself to do it or you'll regret it. I also tend to debate myself internally and can be resistant but I'm working on being defiant to resistance. I have a rebellious spirit regarding creativity. For example, i go to comedy shows and actively congratulate the comedians and one of the comedians involved me in their act and i also got a reputation as "our favorite audience member" at my favorite theaters. I'm learning how to balance a devil may care attitude with passion, chutzpah, charisma and not caring. But anyways, i would love to mentor you and join you on your self-actualization journey.

It's AMAZING how you're able to use simple household objects to create music! Last week, i was coming back from a comedy show and i was watching a street jazz brass band just performing and they were so immersed in the street music! I have strong respect for street performers and I always make sure to compliment them or give them a dollar or two. For innovation, my creative writing portfolio is entirely focused on it. I've been writing a lot of poems lately and they just flow to me! I dedicated myself to writing a couple poems every day and the more it write, it's like interest compounding on money you saved or invested and the more money you add, the faster it grows. I've also been going to improv and comedy shows and there's a bare simplicity with it! For example, improv comedians are given just a couple ideas and they effortlessly create a play or skit out of these basic directions. For my creativity, i focus on channeling the inner child as my muse!!

I will focus on creating stories in my mind and writing these stories, contemplating life, and meditation.

Motives for Meditation Meditation is one tool of many in my toolbox for self-actualization. I want to meditate not out of obligation but out of genuine desire. I see meditation as focusing on relaxing my mind and to truly savor the richness of life by creating happiness through simplicity and as a tool to skyrocket my creativity and create the flow state where I get so deeply immersed in my creativity that time flows by. Guided meditation is an AMAZING way to deeply immerse myself in my imagination so I can be refreshed and inspired to create without feeling writer's block. I see meditation as creating the peak experiences and flow states of self-actualization so I can have a taste of self-actualization. Meditation is also a great way of being calm and grounded in life and not being overwhelmed and stressed out by petty feuds, drama and all that arbitrary bullshit. I meditate to have a calm and sane mind in a divided world going mad!

Hey man I'm loving your journal!! I'm also focusing on implementing theory into action with creative writing and meditation! I have a daily meditation habit where I meditate 30 minutes every day but incrementally. I meditate twice in the morning for 5 minutes and 10 minutes to a guided meditation and twice in the evening for 5 minutes and 10 minutes. I'm also focusing everyday on creative writing and I've been making great progress with that! My goal for meditation is to go deeper with meditation and use it to achieve peak experiences and skyrocketing happiness in my life!

2017 Is Off To A Great Start 2017 has just started and I'm kicking it off to a great start!!! What I'm most proud of are my creative writing routines and how my productivity is skyrocketing in just the first couple weeks, my new meditation habit, and my job search. For the past couple years, I decided to dedicate my time to creative writing but I had trouble sticking to a routine so I decided to make it a daily habit. To trigger the habit, I wrote out a weekly plan to take action on and I kept a writing log to track my progress. I also started writing downstairs and not on my bed and I write when i'm feeling fully awake. I've been writing 20 pages in a week which is a new record for me that I'm proud of!! I love having a simple plan that is flexible and that allows me to focus on creative freedom with my writing. I'm looking for an outlet to share my creative writing! I'm mastering grounding my ideas in reality by have a concrete strategy to implement the ideas rather than just have an idea floating in my mind. For my meditation habit, I dedicate every day to meditation where I sit in my chair and listen to a guided meditation for 10 minutes. I'm realizing that my mind isn't disrupting me while I'm meditating and meditation is going smoothly for me where I just focus on closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. I'm focusing on relaxing my mind and body and just enjoying the meditation without resisting it! I'm really proud of meditating without monkey mind sabotaging the meditation and seeing it as a source of relaxation rather than harsh mental self-discipline. It's a great sign realizing that I'm eager and excited for my meditation practice.

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been following through on my New Year's resolution of installing a meditation habit. I meditate for 10 minutes every morning with my eyes closed and while taking deep breaths and focusing on my breathing. I've been doing guided meditations on YouTube. I do my meditation to trigger my creativity before I begin my daily creative writing! I've been 100% committed to daily meditation and creative writing. A major change to my routine is a change in environment where I have a personal space for creativity and not on my bed. I've had some muscle tension since Wednesday but I've still been meditating for 10 minutes. I'm eager for meditation and the great news is that monkey mind isn't disrupting me and I'm able to sit calmly and remind myself "focus on breathing and the feeling of being relaxed." Meditation will be life-transforming! I've been creating a daily log to track my meditation and to make sure I've been doing it every day!! I've been observing how I'm able to stay calm and relaxed for ten minutes without disruption.

New Habits for Creative Writing Creative writing is my daily habit and I'm strongly focus on implementing it every day for this whole year. My goal is to write 5-10 pages a day and I'm focusing on achieving a deep flow state and peak experiences. My new habits consist of drinking coffee before writing to wake up my mind, then listen to a 10 minute creative meditation, and then begin the writing process. I focus on writing Morning Pages to begin the writing through a freewriting session. These habits will be AMAZINGLY effective for my creative writing!!

GREAT NEWS!!!!! My job hunt is coming along EXCELLENTLY so far!!!! I'm lined up for four job interviews this week. My first interview was for a literacy tutoring program in Denver Colorado, my second interview is for a Reading tutoring program in Delaware, my third interview is for a tutoring program in New York, and my fourth interview is for a teaching residency in Nevada. This is great because my job hunt is seeing great results already with the interviews lined up and i'm feeling so pumped up with motivation!!!