Growf

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About Growf

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    Netherlands
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    Male
  1. Can't wait! Also this. I think if they implement AI in their NPC things might get so wild
  2. Naturally, we can't stop talking about our business. He really went through some issues and he's away with his family for 2 weeks and I don't know if I should update him on ongoing business. I told him I will take care of our baby in the meantime, but he also keeps sending me stuff. Should I give him his full rest, or should I keep him updated? I feel it might be detrimental if he doesn't fully let go of home stuff for the time being.
  3. I since 6 months live on my own. I have what I consider 3 close friends and 1 long term gf (3.5 years). My relationship is going downhill and 2 friends are very occupied with theirs. The other close friend I see a lot, but I have this feeling that eventually we will split our paths.
  4. @Rilles Is there other stuff I can do to reduce a hangover (besides obviously drinking less, which I will). Just to counter the low mood / exhaustion the next day. I am not ready to give up partying completely.
  5. @Rilles True, I want to do let's say half or a quarter of the drinks I normally do. But with alcohol you easily get in this 'fuck it, next time' mode. @eskwire Saving money, Less need of low consciousness entertainment next days to comfort myself. Getting more things done, I seriously lost 3 to 4 work days (work on my own) because of this. Better health physically, better overall health mentally (That's a guess). I think my life might be to empty and unfulfilling, and that's why those nights matter for me that much? Or maybe I am in the first stages of alcoholism haha.
  6. I took some good steps towards a better life. I started weight lifting again, I eat a healthier diet (although not the couple last days) lost some. I masturbate way less and watch less pornography and there have been days where I have truly been happier than ever before. Though this week, I had 2 parties. I just love going out and getting drunk with my best friends. It's amazing. The only thing is I feel like absolute crap the next TWO days. I tried going out without alcohol, and it's way less fun. The only thing to seem to get me through these shitty post party days are junk food and porn and gaming. Which I really don't want to do anymore. Anyone has any advice? I feel like alcohol might be a big key in this puzzle, but I really value those nights and they contribute to my happiness.
  7. Often when I'm done working or self-actualizing I am in need of some relaxation. The old me would watch porn or play video games, but they make me too socially awkward afterwards. I tried reading, but I always end up reading self-improvement books, which result in my taking action again. So what do you guys do for relax time
  8. Everytime I am taking on some healthy habits, or get rid of unhealthy habits a week or so I get more anxious and depressed. Not clinically, but definitely noticably. This happens with everything: Meditation, Fasting, Eating Healthy, Quitting Porn, Quitting Alcohol. My only explanation could be is that the fantasy and the hope of a self-actualized life is more beautiful than actually doing it. Everytime I quit and stop doing self improvement, I can get excited again and that excitement makes me feel amazing. "Next monday I am going to do this and this and this, my life will change for good!". Now I am on a 2 week streak of NoFap, Intermittent Fasting and Healthy eating and the excitement is gone. I feel empty.. Has anyone been in a similar situation or does anyone have some advice? Thanks. Edit: I do feel some benefits from NoFap for instance, I have a little less social anxiety on day 12. But now I am back home and I feel empty and nothing can really excite me.
  9. Do you have (close) friends? Are they into self-development / enlightenment? Is it okay/normal to first go down (more anxious/more depressed) before you go up while commiting to self-improvement?
  10. I haven't. Kind of scared of meditation ofcourse. I was in a bad place back then.
  11. How do you get to the core of anxiety. I feel like it's very deep in my subconscious. The symptoms of anxiety are (thankfully so) treatable by for example an SSRI. I am currently on one for 1.5 years and it does wonders to the symptoms. If you have seen me at my worst (without meds) you might actually believe it's a magic pill. But I am fully aware that this pill does nothing to the actual anxiety disorder itself, which is deeply rooted in my subconscious. I was wondering how do you tackle an anxiety disorder? I've tried meditating, but after a week it got me so anxious that I became suicidal and had to be put on medications in the first place. Ofcourse this was 100% the opposite of what I expected what meditation would do to me. People who are currently battling or even over came anxiety disorders, how are you doing it or how did you do it?
  12. Hi. Wow that's sounds bad. My personal guess is that you just need a couple of weeks to come back again. I don't believe 2 years of serious self-actualization work can be un-done by an EMDR session, but then again that is the last thing I would consider battling my anxiety. Just give it a couple of weeks and be kind to yourself! Only time can give you an answer at this moment.
  13. Hey Bob84, No, never heard of it. Will look into it. Thanks for your reply.
  14. Short back up story: I've been diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder and after a year of struggling I finally started meditation. A week of daily meditation and I lost it.. My anxiety went through the roof and I decided to get professional help. I had a great therapist and she put me on medication. The medication did it's job great for 6 months and my anxiety was practically gone without any side effect. I'm still on the medication but I feel like it's losing it's effectiveness. So ofcourse I want to start a meditation habit again, but I know I for a fact this time that my anxiety will increase big time. This causes me to be afraid of meditation, although I feel like I have to do it, kind of like a major purge where the first months will be hell, only to come out a better, stronger person eventually. Any tips on how to get through this phase? Or any anecdotal stories from anyone here going through the same? Really need some help on this.. Thanks.
  15. What do you do with your money? Do you have a girlfriend/wife? Do you have hobbies completely cut off from personal devolpment work? What is your favourite food? What movies do you like? Meditation makes my anxiety go through the roof, therefor I always quit the second week, do I need to bite through? Don't you ever get tired of these fucking questions?