Eva

Has anybody had any experience with this in practice? I read Many Live, Many Masters by Brian Weiss and it was really interesting. I've tried autoregressing myself once with an audio and I feel like it had some effect. Need some more time to be certain, though.

The issue about self and others (especially regarding boundaries) has been a kind of a motif of my life, so I appreciate the topic. I've been thinking about if Ken Wilber's pre-personal-trans logic can be utilized in these issues to pinpoint your own stage. Especially pre-trans fallacy (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Wilber#Pre/trans_fallacy), where spiritually awakened people are mixed up and mix themselves up with conventionally religious people. In this case, I've been thinking about people who are selfless because of harsh childhood conditioning, and they push their own needs to the shadow and never issue them. They feel like they are the most developed people for doing this, even though they actually are at the lowest rank. When people integrate and transcend (not spiritually bypass and shove it to the shadow!) their selfish needs, they evolve up to the highest level: genuinely selfless stage.

I get where you're getting at with this! And I've noticed the same. I think in some things you benefit from being under 30, but some things are not even achievable at a young age. In some things you need so-called crystallized intelligence and/or life-experience to achieve them. You're exactly where you need to be in your life right now. No worries, man! EDIT: typos

Has anybody watched the series? Just checked out the first episode and loved it!

Yeah, it truly is one-of-a-kind! I'm glad that Netflix is taking more risks and producing stuff like this. I didn't find any info if there's coming a season 2 of it. The episode about magick was new to me as a topic.

I found the episode truly interesting and helpful, thank you Leo for publishing new videos again! The attachment component really is the important one to remember. Issues that are not personally that close or so-called triggering are easy and even fun to entertain being differently. I personally noticed that I stumbled badly with the one example about having a good-looking (or what is specifically called) boyfriend/girlfriend. I've worked a lot with my money issues and the million dollars doesn't seem to outlandish now-a-days, but these romantic relationships and stuff... Pfff, the culmination of my low self-esteem, neuroses and all other kinds of egoic bluff lumped up all-in-one. No surprise there, but it dropped me back to it yet again. There's a massive difference between my openmindedness regarding worldly issues and deeply relational ones. Thanks for the insights!

That was really beautifully said. I needed to hear that as well.

Yes, that is helpful. Thank you. That's very true and resonates to be right. It's still kinda lofty ideal to me since I'm down on the dumps and surviving day by day. But that's an ultimate truth to keep in mind at all times. Thank you for replying.

I'm requesting tips from you to cope with my new life situation. I actually feel a bit embarrassed to even admit having these kinds of issues, but I feel like this is the time to face them head-on. Short story: I'm learning to live without a romantic relationship for the first time in my (adult) life. I'm confused, anxious and tempted to bypass this chapter by joining Tinder yet again to distract myself. Any concrete tips, advice and/or words of encouragement on how to stick with this besides these growing pains and ultimate confusion? This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done and I've done a bunch of truly hard stuff during my lifetime. I'm feeling really overwhelmed at this point. I've started to go through The Life Purpose Course. I try to give myself slack and time to cope with all of this. I'm trying to eat better, sleep enough and work out. I'm trying to learn about myself by providing myself things that might interest me and not ask too much of myself at this point yet. But I still feel really scared and disoriented, to be honest. Long story: I've been in the dating scene and in different kinds of relationships (FWB, casually dating, long-term, short-term, monogamous, poly, long-distance, living together & being married) for over 17 years in a row now. And I'm not an old person. So that's quite a big of a chunk of my life and you can tell that I've mastered my fair share of chaining relationships together one after another. During these years I've been fully single and by myself (meaning: not seeing / f*cking / sharing daily occurrences with anybody) for a few months. My latest relationship (1,5 years, LDR) ended less than a week ago and I'm quite devastated cause I had pretty high hopes for us in the long run. Since it was an LDR I've learned to be pretty self-sufficient. I have my own life, friends, work, and routines. I have traveled alone and cultivated my personal development practice alone. But I feel like I still relied pretty heavily on the other person to hold a space for me on a daily basis. It's is understandable, but now I'm facing being truly by myself after this latest endeavor ended. I recognize that I have codependency issues because of emotional issues in my childhood and I've been trying to compulsively fix them through other people. I've been in therapy for 3,5 years and it has helped me a lot. Yet I still feel shaky about this situation. I have trouble knowing and liking myself, and I tolerate being completely alone only short periods in time and only under certain situations. I need a lot of reassurance and involvement from my romantic partner, which apparently caused this last one to end. And I understand him. I don't feel like I'm needy or clingy, but I've been described as "intense" in my romantic relationships. I have a tendency to lose myself more or less to other people. All of this makes it even harder for me to like myself. On the surface, I'm really self-sufficient and avoid asking for help even too much. But when the romantic relationships evolve deep enough I seem to get "intense", grasping for a deeper and deeper connection. I am ready to take responsibility for all of these traits and try to improve them. Thank you for your help. I really need it.

I studied some futures studies in university and found it helpful to change my thinking. They think in 10-year increments and find out if the issue is something that you're hopeful / not hopeful about and how much you can / cannot do about it (foresight tools, axis matrix). Also, look into materials about micro habits! You can google about craftsmanship mentality and process vs. outcomes thinking. Good luck!

INTJ-T.

@Leo Gura could you elaborate why you feel like psychotherapy is not one valid tool for solving the maze? I stopped to ponder on that since I have gotten a lot out of psychotherapy within the last few years.

/rant As a bit of a sidetrack yet related to this very issue, I'm really triggered (as you can tell, working on it...) with people who seem to disregard mastering the initial and so-called lower levels by jumping to advanced topics right away. I have come across a lot of people who have a whole bunch of deep-rooted rookie-level problems (denial, shadows, problems in relationships, addictions, mental health issues and life-skills in general) they clearly haven't dealt with at all. Yet these "Tolle fanboys" feel like it's sufficient to skip these so-called lesser earthly matters and spend their days smoking pot and pondering about the universe while their bills are piling up and relationships falling apart around them. That all would be fine and dandy, but these same persons look heavily down to people like myself, who use (who have to use) their time and energy to address the bigger underlying issues. Yeah, it really is embarrassing and demoralizing to work on issues in your thirties that most of the people have had the luxury to work in their early teens. It doesn't help that I get pitying looks from these holier-than-thou shortcut creators for not being all metaphysical all the time when I have more concrete issues to deal with. By denying your own problems and presenting yourself as a higher level being than the honest low-level folks like myself doesn't really serve you in the long run. I know I shouldn't care. It just really gets to me at times. I too wish I was over these initial phases. Yet I am not, and I need to be honest where I am on the map and act accordingly. It's just not the popular way of seeing things these days, I can tell.

Oh, I wish! Unfortunately, it's not made by me, it's Camilla d'Erricos piece called Mamba Mia (source here). It really is stunning, isn't it :-)

Yeah, I completely agree with you. It might be a lucrative trap to just get stuck to the surface level and feel good about yourself and boost your ego, as @NoSelfSelf pointed out. Without seeing that it's actually only the initial stage.

Too bad to hear that you didn't benefit from it. It probably doesn't work for everyone, since it seems that people are on different levels in this game of life. Yet, it's important to pick ones that serve you and drop the ones that don't. My experiences are different, but so are my challenges. Just making a point here that disregarding some tool completely for everybody seems like black-and-white thinking at its peak.

But shouldn't people work with their surface level issues first (if they still have such) to create a foundation for solving the fundamental ones? So is it appropriate to say that psychotherapy doesn't help you solve the maze when it actually does? In the initial levels, in which some of us unfortunately still are in.

But does it really require that bigger picture understanding from them if they are helping you with one, narrow and specific trap (as you mentioned in your video)? In my case, we're working on emotional expression & understanding and solidifying my sense of self, which I feel like are the building blocks for my self-actualization. It's only one small part of the maze. Also, my diffuse sense of self (because of developmental issues) inherently makes it hard to work on these problems alone, so I feel like I have benefitted it a lot. So is it really legit to disregard psychotherapy as a whole altogether, since it can't and shouldn't solve your existential issues more broadly? I mean, can't a mentor and their knowledge be a good tool in trap specific problem-solving?

That's strange, yet interesting! Can you tell me more about your experiences with it?

Brené Brown has some great resources for you to look into. Compassion towards yourself and self-acceptance are hard things to learn and take a lot of time but are completely worth it. I wish strength to your journey!

My own experience is that highly restrictive and difficult-to-upkeep diets don't sit well with mental problems. I really appreciate Petersons work on other areas, but I'm really surprised how easily he promotes these diets especially for people with mental health issues. I'm not quite sure are eating disorders generally a bigger issue for women than men (knowing the ratio of Peterson's audience) but the comorbidity in these things is staggering. And no, rigid diets usually don't do any good to people's mental health and cannot be maintained in the long run, causing their own set of issues.

Thank you for all of your thoughts, everybody! @Etagnwo, I'm really into spiral dynamics, and I feel like AQAL is a nice supplement for it. I do understand that I'm a person who needs structure, logical solutions and perceives the world in a specific way. Wilber seems to be an intelligent person and I have respect for him for the work he has done. I feel like some of his stuff has gone too far and/or the wrong direction, so I tend to look into his ideas (and everyone's, for that matter) with a grain of salt. This video was a good reminder for me to remember not to idolize or blindly follow certain people, and to do the research for myself. And in the end, take those parts that make sense to me, appreciate the work they have done and be neutral with the rest.

Has anyone else listened to this one? What are your thoughts on this?

I work female domineering industry and it's as shitty as it gets with the rivalry and disputes. Backstabbing is a daily occurrence. I have a colleague who somehow seems to have a beef with me, I can't figure out why. I don't know if she's like this with everybody or just with me. I have been trying to be neutral with her but it's getting more difficult as the time goes by. Now she found a technical error in my work and tattled our boss about it. She did not confront me first and went straight to our boss instead. I surely accept my responsibility for that error. They told me they are going to have a discussion with me about it. I just have a hard time being the bigger person here, yet again. She has made several errors herself, some of which I have talked over with her (trying to be understanding and helping her out with those) and some of which our team has addressed (many of them do it in pretty harsh manner). I have a huge urge to bring out this person's own errors to our bosses attention in this discussion. Obviously, that's my egos defense, since I myself have fucked up. I know it's a petty thought, but I'm kinda pissed off at her. She already tried this kind of a thing before but found out that I wasn't doing anything wrong and backed off, so I'm sure this thing is going to continue in the future. Anyone have any good resources to retrieve to?

Dear Actualized.org community. I have noticed that my twitch with the Whatsapp app has been going a bit too far lately and I'm feeling really shitty about it, so I wish to work on it. I'm not on any social media because of this same issue and it has been working really well for me. Lately, I've been spending hours a day in Whatsapp and it has been starting to affect my relationships as well. I guess I'm trying to mask my loneliness with those meaningless conversations. I'm also in a long distance relationship at the moment and my increasing neediness with him is straining our relationship quite a bit nowadays. Any good resources to help me combat this?