Peak

*note: I feel like actualized.org was homework yesterday because of all the stuff I talk about yesterday. I mean, do I really need to talk about the bathroom trip I took and the food I ate. Well NO, this is a personal growth journal NOT a write about what happen today journal. I also think that writing about what I was learning or doing sometimes takes away the passion I have for this and makes it into a daily homework section that I'm required to do just to get better at life. This is better than going to high school and dealing with homework and theory learning. And the kids that you have nothing in common with.* Less is more(sometimes) 6.18.2016 Discipline counter: 1 Me losing: I did my coding, my drawing, no pushups sense my arms hurt from doing bad push ups yesterday. I was going to ride my bike but it was riding by the time I want to ride my bike. My meditation was close-eye and 1 hour. I meditated next to the closet door and was more aware than yesterday. My eyes had this sensation at the beginning but that went away. My back did hurt but the pain went away. I did read that book today but I don't feel like doing a summary. I probably do one when I finish the book. Goals for tomorrow(tomorrow doesn't exist just the present moment so I have to wait present moment after that present moment or present moment 5000 to do what I want to do.) Meditate 2 times in the day. TIME:8:59 PM EST.

Staying Accountable 6.17.2016 Meditation: One hour of close eye mediation. The body move almost nothing during this doing. But I did made my body move though motion. Because my eyes were close and I didn't know if my body my perfectly straight or not. I also think I lost my awareness and got distracted by my thoughts... well I don't have any thoughts just music stuck in my head. So I have to be more present and aware. Introducing the discipline counter system Discipline counter: Me losing: Now the plan with this is to make sure I did all my learning, hobbies or fun today and not get distracted. So for example if I have to read a self help book, ride my bike, do a push up, learn to code and draw and meditate for the day, I have to do all of that in the day and make sure its gets done. Usually I give myself 1 hour to do one task at a time. Now it can't be like this forever.Because when I go back to school in the fall my schedule will change and I can only do one thing in that day while the rest of it goes to homework or meditation. And of course I'll add new things such as studying a different language. And I may change the time to something shorter or something longer if I want to do more or less. Of course today I got distracted but still managed to do the stuff I want to do. I spend some time watching videos on calisthenics and after seeing what is possible with calisthenics vs weight lifting. I'll most likely go with calisthenics because I get full flexibility, get to be creative with my exercises and do multiple muscles groups at once. Now I'm just beginning and sense I don't have money to go to the gym or any useful dumbbells to work with. As for the leg muscles I will do spilting or biking to cover those. Well there is one 3lb one and a 10lb dumbbell that has dust on it in the garage. Another thing is that I'm pretty skinny so I need to the muscles even though I can run decently and can bike fast. I was also watching a video on how to do a push up correctly.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dF1DOWzf20&feature=youtu.be. The reason for this is that I want to do a push up the correct way and not damage any muscles. Of course I have to start all over after discovering I was'nt doing them correct even though the last time i did push ups months ago. I also spent some time coding at freecodecamp. And its a lot better than codecademy because there's a lot more tasks to do and more information on the code I I'm working with and a forum. Books: Here's another summary on How to be a Straight-A student: Ways to beat procrastination: Plan #1 keep a work progress journal: Use a journal to write down the most important tasks of the day. If you finish all these tasks, write all completed. If you didn't finish all the tasks than record this in the journal. If you use ink than the journal is a huge blow to your ego if you didn't finish the task for today. Because than the evidence is there. Compare to you thinking "oh well". Plan #2 Feed the Machine. You will need to feed your brain the energy it needs to perform at peak potential. Drink water constantly, have a water bottle next to you or make frequent trips to the water fountain, Monitor your caffeine intake carefully, treat food as a source of energy not satisfaction, Don't skip meals. Plan #3 : make an event out of the worst tasks. If you have boring work to do, than go somewhere where there is no distractions and just work, tell your friends so they will know that your studying and you can't leave the area until you finish studying. Plan#4 Build a routine. You should identify one hour from your weekday that is free and use it to do homework. Than have a week to do the homework( Monday-Tuesday:history,Wednesday:math) Plan #5 choose your hard days: Choose a day where you just do work and grind though it. Make sure you do it in advance instead of waiting the last day because than you can focus on the homework for one day and than do it on another hard day and get more of it done. Another thing is to tell friends that your doing this so that they will know and you can't talk to them until you finish your homework. This journal entry took over an hour an half to write. So I need to think about if I want to be as detail or not. And add to the fact that I had to do spell check, grammar fixes, revision on some parts and delete some text out to make it more clean. Another goal for tomorrow: Get to bed by 9:00pm 9:30 MAX I need to sleep early and wake up early if I don't want my day to go away. And if I decide to be specific than I don't have to worry about my sleep schedule. END: I am now off to bed. After brushing my teeth and flossing them/ watering them. The time is 11:46PM EST.

Today I had a meditation experience that at some point my body started moving by it self and was swaying left to right. Than it went to very down right and I had to force it to move it back to normal. This also happen a lot in the beginning, when I was meditating for more than 10 mins and it would sway back and forth and sometimes go very close to the ground at a very fast pace. Can someone tell me what it is and if I should stop it or just let it happen. I should also say that this can happen at random and that it starts out slow than speeds up gradually. Sometimes it can do this to one area such as right just sway right up to right down. In this case I have to force my body to go back to normal.

Update I think I solve this. The meditations that I was doing was all open-eye. So I basically sat there doing nothing but with my eyes open. And this cause air to hit my eyes, making them watery and tearing up. So I had to narrow my vision to make sure the air wasn't hitting my eyes. Another thing is that the environment was kind of distracting. There's a whiteboard to the upper layer of the wall, than a second wall, a door and sometimes I see a blinking light from electronics or that tiny white dot on the wall, which throws my body off and moves my head to that. Another thing is that I think my body was moving because of the environment or the air I am not sure what causes this. Now with my eyes close, the swaying didn't go away, but it was very little and almost nothing compare to what I experience the day prior to this. Now I could be wrong and I was very lucky today, so I'll update this after 5 close eye meditations.

Close eye meditation and unexpected things 6.16.2016 I did my meditation experience by closing my eyes. The time was still the same (1 hour), and this meditation was different compare to the past 6 meditations I done 6 days prior to now. By closing my eyes, the air couldn't get into my eyes and my right eye didn't get all watery. Well it did sort of when meditating with my eyes close but it was nothing it was just inside. My eyes did not get foggy or basically in a tear up, where water starts to come out due to being still and the air hitting your eyes. Another thing about this meditation is that my body was a lot more still. And not swaying or moving forward or backwards as much. Now my body did move, but it was very little motion. My head move a little bit but ended. Another great part of this meditation is that I had a lot more quiet silence in my mind. There was music in there but that ended in some parts and came back. The music wasn't all that bad expect in some parts. After the meditation ended I felt real calm and some what light to say. I had a unexpected day today. I had to spend some time spending at my grandma's birthday party at a restaurant. It was just me and my family. Another thing is that I started reading How to became a straight A student by cal newport. This book is more than a guide on how to beat college and finish with straight A's. Here's a summary on what I learn by reading the first two charters: Pseudo-working is when you work in a distracting environment and study long hours and do it in low-intensity. To study and get work done in shorter period of time you do high-intensity. You study one hour very high intensity, than take a one hour break and than study one hour after that. And keep on going base on how long the work is. You will need to also have a time management system to do this. It not as bad as it sounds because it actually works. You'll need a calendar and a list( you need to be able to carry your list with you). Record all your to-do's and deadlines on the calendar and use the list if you have to write something down and than transfer it to your calendar. Label your to do's with a specific time period when your going to complete it. Be reasonable. Group the little tasks in one big block.(10:00-10:45 mail letter, clean out the trash, return book, buy new item.) Make sure you leave time for breaks. Don't put work when you about to go to sleep. You will need to relax and unwind. If you can't fit all your to dos for today than move them for tomorrow. Have a things to remember list where you add new to do's as the day go on to your list.(This can work if you don't have energy to write down the test that's starts next week on the calendar but you write on the list on the things to remember and transfer to the calendar later.) There's more to this book I'll write another summary if I read it tomorrow.

Now Leo said that you can't control your thoughts. And I think that is true/false. You can kind of control your thoughts and have a peaceful mind. All you have to do is just stop thinking and be there. Now this will be a lot more difficult for people who have monkey chatter all the time. Now for stopping unwanted thoughts or thoughts that pop up out of nowhere you possibly can't control that. So basically you can reduce your thoughts to a quiet mind if you're in the present moment or reduce simulation or let the thoughts run and see where it takes you. (You have to not focus on being inside your head all the time to reduce your thoughts) but stopping random thoughts from popping up or unexpected ideas, you can't so in conclusion you can kind of control your thoughts but can't all the way. Now I can't say that I'm correct. But I want to hear your opinion on this. And see if there other ways to quiet your thoughts or silence them.

This website forces me to meditate 6.15.2016 The actualized.org website forces myself to mediate. I have not miss a day since I started this journal 5 days ago. The meditation experience was ok. The first few minutes were fine. Then my body started moving backwards and forward. Not right or left. And sometime later my head start spinning towards the left. I rarely made any thoughts in this meditation, but the music in my head was crazy, it stood the same for some minutes than change to something else and so on. There were some periods of quietness, very few seconds though. My right eye start to tear up like crazy and drop tears. my left eye did the tear up part but a lot less of it. I should also say that for the past 5 days I been meditating with my eyes open but I been focus on small white dot on the wall. And sometime lose focus. My eyes also get foggy while meditating. If I want to improve my meditation experience I will have to close my eyes and see what happens. I did no coding, drawing or reading of any book just wondering from video to video to article to article. I started with mole readings to Sadhguru to traveling than japan than to yahoo answers to quora to some blog. I mean, what happen? (Yes I actually find this funny.) I guess its easy to do, just read or watch, no work involve. But I want to grow, not become a low-conscious person. I guess I have to hold myself accountable and use the forums on the other websites to grow in other areas in my life as well. Or better yet became aware of what i'm doing and tracking the time. The day also went fast. I have to learn new things or experiences to make the day go slower. But some people saw to make the day go slower,you look at your clock. While others say. A year is 100% of your life at 1 year old compare to 23 years old when its just 4.3%. The time still go at the same speed but our brains make time go faster or slower depending on the situation.

Lefthandnessless 6.14.2016 Interesting event of the day:drawing with my left hand Today I drew with my left hand. Now this is not the first time I did this. Back in Nov. of 2015 I was busy writing with my left hand when in class and even drew some stuff, but at one point I was coping the notes with my left hand and because it took over 3 hours to write slowly and neatly, my hand start to hurt at around the 1 hour mark. The whole thing took 3 hours and by than my hand was hurting really bad all red and there was this mole on finger that turn bright red after doing all of that. It later went back to normal but this mole still exists it didn't before I start left hand writing like crazy. What I drew (very slowly to make sure its neat) was a house, chimp, tree and,basically a basic picture and later color it. (This was today not nov.2015) medium length goal:becoming ambidextrous( I would have to practice and take breaks to not hurt my hand. At some point the hand will not hurt but will become my right hand.) I want to became ambidextrous by the end of the year or by Sept 2017 I would say that I'm cross-dominance on some tasks and right handed on drawing/writing. Meditation: My meditation section was the same as usual 1 hour. Things went well, my body move very slowly and stood in place for most of the time. The only thing that could be improve on is my thoughts. But I rarely thought of anything during my meditation section, it was just music in my head that I had to deal with. The music sometimes stood the same and than change. I also got some periods of silence but it didn't last that long. Coding: I didn't do any coding today I watch one Leo video today.(The secret-the truth they didn't tell you) Now I don't know if I want to keep writing about what Leo video I watch today. I should also say that this journal forces me to meditate and do personal growth activities to write about stuff in here. Now of course before I start this journal I was meditating back when the year started but miss a lot of days due to having to sleep early for school. Sometimes I mediated for 5 mins during the night before school if I had to sleep early or did a full x amount of minutes on a planned day. I also finish reading that book, now I can start reading my next self help book.

way better than yesterday 6.13.2016 Interesting event of the day: Learning how to code. Yep, I sign up on codecademy and did the make a website course. I only did the first lesson but here is what I learn: <h1> is the heading there are 6 types with <h1> the biggest and <h6> the smallest, <p> is for use for non-headings, a place where you write the information, <a> is anchor and is use to make links to other websites I have to use href (attribute) <img sec is to add an image <video for video, unorderlist <ul> list item <li> <div class="main"<h2>subheading!</h2>, </div>, metadata tag:provide metadata about a webpage, parent/child elements: used to describe HTML elements that enclose or are enclosed by other elements. ul is the parent and the li are children. Now this does not mean I understand how to code yet or what the first lesson thought me. I still am confuse on <div class and found out there's alot more to coding such as the main.css and index.css which is what I have to work with. Of course when I'm done with the codecademy courses that still does not mean I understand this. To fully understand this I will have to make my own projects,websites and apps to see if I totally learn. And after researching a bit on Quora I found out that the best site to learn how to code is Freecodecamp. I was also doing the same thing 2 years ago on khan academy but quitted when things got too hard. Medium length goal: Learn how to code(this may take a while) this could also be a long-term goal if it takes that long. The meditation section was better than yesterday I sat with my legs in the correct cross-leg position, no unconformable sensation this time. My body also again move by itself again but it was a lot slower and closer there was some parts where I had to force my body to gradually go back to normal. My body was also swaying forward to backwards instead of right to left which did happen to. The forward and backwards start slow than increase in speed and got somewhat quick. small term goal: watch all Leo videos: I did'nt watch any videos today. Sorry actualize community i'll do it tomorrow I also play a videogame today. I am almost done with it I just need to level up and do some leftovers and defeat the final boss. I also woke up early than yesterday this time at 7:2x something compare to 9:something yesterday. It made the day last longer and I had more time to do the stuff I want. There was also this book I was reading call quiet the power of introverts on my tablet . I am almost done with this book. I should be able to finish this tomorrow. This book was digital and pdf. I unfortunately can't find the download link anymore. This book took over a year to finish compare to the book I read last year in a much faster time span. How to talk to anyone 92 little tricks for big success in relationships. I mean I learn some stuff, but it was stories than how to do it. This was also a pdf. I should also say that this post took over an hour to write!

Better than yesterday 6.12.2016 I meditated for one hour today. At the beginning I had noise in the background, but that went away. Later on I realized that I didn't sit correctly and my legs went in the cross-leg position but one leg was more above than the other and this created a feeling that got uncomfortable but later on got numb. I later got disturb during my meditation. Mom ask me for oak milk mix with other fruits smoothie. So I had to talk than get back to meditation. Of course went the alarm ring after the oak milk smoothie was finished and I got a reward for dealing with a uncomfortable position and my right leg getting uncomfortable. I should also say that at some point my body start moving by it self. It was swaying left to right and than went all the way down right but I force myself to get back where my body was. The meditation was also not perfect my stomach move up and down but I manage to survive the unconformable leg sensation. Small term goal: watch all of Leo's videos I watch Leo's new video today on mediation for beginners and benefits of enlightenment, and also the secret curse of being a human + bonus a true spiritual exercise. I don't know how long this will take me to do. I could watch one video a day and it will take about 3 months or watch x amount of videos and get it done much more quicker. I also wasted the day by watching random videos on youtube again. And did a little compulsive eating. Most of it was fruits (banana, and watermelon) but I did eat a little chips today but stop soon after. I also throw away more papers from my 9th-10th grade year and will finish when I want to. What I plan on doing tomorrow or after a certain amount of present moments. Is learning something. Watching self-help videos and finish reading these self-help books that I haven't finish in over a year. Stay tune for tomorrow

Cleaning my room and ugh... 6.11.2016 Well today I cleaned my room by throwing away old school papers that I don't care anymore and will be doing the same thing tomorrow. I didn't start my meditation until 8:59 PM-9:59 PM this meditation had noise in the beginning but was quiet throughout the rest of the period. I did the same as yesterday. The first part of this meditation I was very still and had little thoughts in my head. The second part my eyes were crying, well not really tears were dropping out. I was still though. Even though water was dropping I did nothing. I also should say that the day went somewhat fast. This is not what I want though. I plan on making tomorrow better and not being late to anything. I wasted my time watching videos, making a logo for this account and other things.

The start 6.10.2016 Introduction: If you don't know me already. I recently turn 17 years old 6 days ago. And I have this plan to became the best version of myself in life. I plan on using this journal to hold myself accountable and write what happen on the day and anything interesting. If I fail than I will have to write about it, if I succeed than I will also write about it. I basically can not let the self actualized community down. I did 1 hour of meditation today during 7:08 PM-8:08 PM. It wasn't all that perfect, my dog scratch the door made me jump. My thoughts won't quiet all the way. And I got disturbed during my 1 hour of meditation. I did the do nothing meditation because it was the easiest to do and strong determination sitting. Of course my eyes move, I wasn't that perfectly still but I was close to being still. And I only had some periods of quiet silence while the other periods had music in my head.

This Journal is now Closed Go to the new one: Personal Growth is my life

The start 6.10.2016 Introduction: If you don't know me already. I recently turn 17 years old 6 days ago. And I have this plan to became the best version of myself in life. I plan on using this journal to hold myself accountable and write what happen on the day and anything interesting. If I fail than I will have to write about it, if I succeed than I will also write about it. I basically can not let the self actualized community down. I did 1 hour of meditation today during 7:08 PM-8:08 PM. It wasn't all that perfect, my dog scratch the door made me jump. My thoughts won't quiet all the way. And I got disturbed during my 1 hour of meditation. I did the do nothing meditation because it was the easiest to do and strong determination sitting. Of course my eyes move, I wasn't that perfectly still but I was close to being still. And I only had some periods of quiet silence while the other periods had music in my head.

Cleaning my room and ugh... 6.11.2016 Well today I cleaned my room by throwing away old school papers that I don't care anymore and will be doing the same thing tomorrow. I didn't start my meditation until 8:59 PM-9:59 PM this meditation had noise in the beginning but was quiet throughout the rest of the period. I did the same as yesterday. The first part of this meditation I was very still and had little thoughts in my head. The second part my eyes were crying, well not really tears were dropping out. I was still though. Even though water was dropping I did nothing. I also should say that the day went somewhat fast. This is not what I want though. I plan on making tomorrow better and not being late to anything. I wasted my time watching videos, making a logo for this account and other things.

Here's Mine: Reaching spiritual enlightenment Having/ maintaining a great body Having friends that I can do anything Learning new stuff Reaching max skill development in hobbies I do Traveling to new countries and experiencing all A system to wake up in the morning (morning ritual) A great relationship Experiencing reality at its highest level Reaching my highest potential

I honesty don't know what happens when you reach enlightenment. Sense I'm new to the whole meditation thing.( I started back in the first day of 2016 but miss a lot of days and only meditated here or there.) But Leo said something in one of his videos where once you have a breakthrough experience in meditation, you get to meditate throughout the whole day and be aware of it. I guess this will help: http://paidtoexist.com/meaning-of-life-enlightenment/

I mean at some point, personal development will end and just became maintenance work. Examples: You spend 10 years meditating everyday for 1 hour and get new experiences every now and than. But once you reach enlightenment it will just became maintenance work.Example 2: You study art and how to draw and start from the basics and work your way to the top by practicing and using deliberate practice to focus on one skill set while having fun along the way. At some point you will run out of ideas and stuff to do. Same thing for bodybuilding the gains are slow than medium to fast than back down to slow pace. At some point, the gains will be so little that it's just maintenance work.

Steve Pavlina, Scott H Young, Projectlifemastery, positivityblog and of course this one!