Fraction

I think there are still a few actualizers who have not recovered from basic things like sex (porn/masturbation) addictions (including me) let alone dwell deep into the realms of consciousness. So I have decided to make this small skype group, where we can share our struggles from these addictions and learn from each others effort. I think this kind of mutual effort can really help us overcome these nasty habits. So if you think you are constantly suffering from these kinds of habits or you are someone who has overcome these habits and have good advice, feel free to join. Search Skype at [removed] and add me. I will add you to the main conversation afterwards. Please come if you are serious about getting out. It's for people who wanna grow out of their compulsive sexual behaviors. I am no expert on this. I am 21 year old. But I think that community-ness can be powerful when it comes to overcoming addictions.

I think there are still a few actualizers who have not recovered from basic things like sex (porn/masturbation) addictions (including me) let alone dwell deep into the realms of consciousness. So I have decided to make this small skype group, where we can share our struggles from these addictions and learn from each others effort. I think this kind of mutual effort can really help us overcome these nasty habits. So if you think you are constantly suffering from these kinds of habits or you are someone who has overcome these habits and have good advice, feel free to join. Search Skype at helpinghandskype@gmail.com Please come if you are serious about getting out. It's for people who wanna grow out of their compulsive sexual behaviors. I am no expert on this. I am 21 year old. But I think that community-ness can be powerful when it comes to overcoming addictions.

Because of the lack of open communication regarding sex in today's society, its certainly hard to ascertain about the nature of sexual tendencies. I often wonder whether people initially struggle with sexual inclinations or is it just me. I am aware of a lot of people that tend to maintain an image in public as if they are free of all sexual indulgences but are secretly doing the same thing. I used to believe them and doing so I regarded myself inferior because I couldn't control my urges. Because most people lie about their sexuality its hard to believe the ones that are saying the truth and it makes it inconceivable to see what healthy sexuality is (or if it is healthy at all), and whether is it just a thing with me or do all people masturbate at one time or another. To help everyone get a better picture of it and out of sheer curiosity I am starting this thread. Please be honest while answering these questions.

DAY 4 Success.

DAY 3 Went smooth. Success.

DAY 2 No problem.

@Lynnel Its not gonna happen to me. Don't worry. You will see for yourself.

DAY 1 Easy. No urges.

RELAPSED

DAY 1 Went smooth. No problems.

@jjer94 Alright, what if I try it? You want me to completely let go of trying to control my sexual behaviors, but you are telling me something completely opposite. Letting go doesn't mean craving for it intentionally which you are telling me to do. Neither it is developing aversion towards the object which you think i am doing. Its just observing objectively. I am indeed trying to get rid of it by allowing it to come whenever it wants to come. But when it comes I am not supposed to react with craving and literally start jerking off neither should I hate it and try to suppress it. What I should do instead is mere observe it. So you see I am trying to get rid of it by not trying to get rid of it. And fapping frenzy is in a sense standing in the way of the flow of sexual urges which is letting in not letting go.

@jjer94 I did think about it a lot after watching Leo's video on morality and I did indeed realize that the reason I want to stay in control over the sexual urge is mostly because it is not consistent with how I see myself. The ego doesn't like it, so it tries to control and prove its dominance but it fails miserably. So yes, you are right in a sense. But if I go into a fapping frenzy, there is a lot of victimization I would have to digest and stay neutral towards. Is not better to learn how to regard fapping as normal without actually getting involved in it? Also, fapping frenzy will fuck my routine and deprive me of a lot of energy which will also cause destruction of the self image. And I am not a Buddha right now that I can face all of it with a smiling face. With my current level of equanimity it will take me a lot of time to get back to the road again and I am already very short on time.

Well I abstained from fapping for a whole 15 days, thanks to Vipassana. I thought I won over it and don't need the help of this forum anymore but I was wrong. I am back to day zero again. I am really gonna do it this time. My journey might look depressing but it will change for good. I have given my laptop to a friend of mine to avoid any triggers. I have been waking up at four since a month and exercising daily. There are many other dysfunctional habits that rivet me towards fapping and I have read more than 5 books in last two months to fix them too. I will make things great sooner or later.

DAY 1 It went well. No urges. I've been thinking about it though, and I realized that because I don't want to fap but I still do it, am I not self harming? The root cause of self-harm being low self-esteem, I think. So somehow if I manage to respect and admire myself to the fullest again, will the self harm patterns dissolve? I don't do such stuff among others because my self image (among others) doesn't allow me to. But in isolation another aspect of myself emerges, the one who is not the greatest man I could know of, just an average guy who could involve in things like fapping. This belief that projects me as this average guy is the cause for such self sabotaging behavior. If I somehow manage to enhance my self image, I think I can get more control over things.

Relapsed again. I think its due to the fact that I have not been meditating in the vacations and it made me more unconscious unknowingly. Also, I saw that whenever I am unconscious the tendency to run away from the emotional pain and towards an instant fix is very high. Fapping is the default instant fix my body knows and that's what it relies upon to mask the emotional pain but sadly, pleasure can't kill the pain, it just skedaddles it away for a while. Also, they say that emotional pain only dissolves when accepted and confronted through awareness. Running away and trying to soothe it with pleasures is never the right thing to do. ( if only my subconscious knew that ). I think that fapping is a mere solution that my subconscious uses to masquerade the emotional spasms that arises throughout the day. So the major issue here is how to deal better with these emotional crises because if the emotional pain is stabilized then there won't be any need for pleasures. Anyways, I am going on a 10 day Vipassana retreat on 6th to help me in the abstinence. I hope it works for me.