Marinus

@happyminion Thx can you give an example of how awkwardness can be cute?

Updated value list I wanted revisit my values and see what has changed. I took 1 1/2 hours and now I have a list of 8 values. I want to have 10, but I noticed that my previous 10 values were able to go together and some were not really values I embodied. So here is my list in particular order: Self-actualization & Consciousness = Moving up the spiral and realizing my full potential. Looks like: expanding consciousness and perspective up into stage turquoise. Embodying: embodying my current stages and transcending stages when the time is right. Meditate daily. Perspective & Wisdom = Being able to see multiple perspectives. Looks like: Stage Yellow, having knowledge about multiple subjects, being a lifelong student. Embodying: reading non-fiction books, watching educational videos, reflecting, talking with all kinds of people. Health & Balance = Emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being. Looks like: happiness, connection with god, energetic body, mental clarity, balance between masculinity/femininity. Embodying: following my heart, meditation, (western) yoga, strength exercise, being outside (in nature), vegetarian/veganism, cold showers, relaxing, no-fap, listening to music. Authenticity & Integrity = Being honest with myself/others and living according to my principles. Looks like: a noble life. Embodying: keeping promises, living according to values, following my heart, speaking honestly. Ecology = The interaction of people with all life on planet Earth and the well-being of this planet as a whole. Looks like: treating life with benevolence as much as possible and only using the energy I need. Embodying: vegetarian/veganism, minimal consumption of all forms of energy and materials, recycling, helping animals in need, respecting animals and nature, keeping the environment clean of garbage. Equality & Diversity = equality among all races, cultures, genders, religions, ages, etc. Looks like: everyone is the same yet different, no one is truly better or worse Embodying: respecting differences, withholding judgement. Purpose & Habits = taking action regularly to achieve goals and giving my gifts to the world. Looks life: a life purpose, having routines, pushing my comfort-zone, mastery, change. Embodying: expanding my comfort-zone, meditating, a morning routine, street approaches, no-fap, reducing addictions and distractions, developing necessary skills. Freedom & Adventure = having control over the trajectory of my life. Looks like: freedom of beliefs, independence, sexual freedom, traveling, my own business, financial independence, a life without regrets, detachment of outcome. Embodying: creating my own business, day gaming/pu, being independent, pushing my comfort-zone, reducing addictions, taking risks.

Day game week 9 Up to now I have done 76 approaches, holy shit. So from now on I don't count the ones that ignore me, because then I can't do an approach. Approximately half of my approaches are openers or direct rejection. Today I felt I had to do this seriously so I got an idea. I made two checklists: 5 warm up approaches, only giving a compliment and wishing a nice day with a limit of 30 minutes 10 serious approaches, trying to get a full conversation with a limit of 2 hours So what I did was making checklists and setting a timer. I was astonished that it gave me more motivation and it worked, I even did a bonus approach. in the warm ups took only 9 minutes and the 10 approaches 110 minutes, I even did a bonus approach. My first record was 10 opening approaches a day, now it is 5 openings and 11 approaches, so 16 in total. thought about doing another set later this day, but I thought it would be better to take my victory for now and treat myself to some great food and enjoyment. Today I went alone without the RSD guys. My skills have also improved, I don't come of as mechanical. My body language and intonations still do, but I always had this so this would be difficult to change. Now I focus on giving specific compliments. I also recorded 3 of my openers to hear how I sound. I also have to give credits to the RSD guys. They gave me infield feedback and since I am able to do full conversations with better quality.

Btw this was the first time in 3 weeks that I went solo.

So I'll give an update. Up to now I have done 76 approaches, holy shit. So from now on I don't count the ones that ignore me, because then I can't do an approach. Approximately half of my approaches are openers or direct rejection. Today I felt I had to do this seriously so I got an idea. I made two checklists: 5 warm up approaches, only giving a compliment and wishing a nice day with a limit of 30 minutes 10 serious approaches, trying to get a full conversation with a limit of 2 hours So what I did was making checklists and setting a timer. I was astonished that it gave me more motivation and it worked, I even did a bonus approach. in the warm ups took only 9 minutes and the 10 approaches 110 minutes, I even did a bonus approach. My first record was 10 opening approaches a day, now it is 5 openings and 11 approaches, so 16 in total. thought about doing another set later this day, but I thought it would be better to take my victory for now and treat myself to some great food and enjoyment. My skills have also improved, I don't come of as mechanical. My body language and intonations still do, but I always had this so this would be difficult to change. Now I focus on giving specific compliments.

Habits streaks of week 8 This weekend I'm visiting my mother and it has an effect on my morning routine. Currently the streaks of Breathing, Exercise and Games have been broken. I don't feel too bad about it, because I really needed a break from my internship and I really wanted to see my mother and closest friend. I don't worry about gaming, because it was short lived and with a friend. My morning routine I will be doing just as normally tomorrow, but I have to be careful next time I visit my mom. Now I'm here for two days, but in the future it will be longer and my morning routine doesn't have to suffer from it. The Vegan life style is also difficult to uphold when I'm with family, instead I eat vegetarian. My mom also gave me vegetarian foods like pesto and other foods. I take otherwise she would throw it away. In this stage of life I prefer Veganism, but eating vegetarian now and then is okay at the moment. The change can be done gradually. Today and yesterday I had strong sexual thoughts, but no-fap still lasts. My total amount of video entertainment is +-4 hours this week. Day game and Comfort-zone challenges I did 9 approaches this week and I couldn't close or keep a full conversation. I didn't have much time for daygame this week. I went out with the RSD group and met 7 of them, they are cool people and they motivated and gave me advice. They also invited me to do nightgame, but I left that evening to go see my mom. I definitely need to do more approaches. Until now the max was 28 and the min was 3, most of the time 9 approaches. +-12 on average. I want to do at least 30 a week which I haven't done yet. When my internship ends I have more time to do this. So I discovered that C-z challenges help with my social drive, joy and playfulness. The RSD guys were impressed when I showed some. I made a selfie with a stranger and asked more people, but the refused. i got a free tester face creme and a cup of thee from a make-up shop. I did some high 5's as well. My insight is that these challenges are damn easy since I started daygame. day game is next level, so my advice for anyone who reads this DO COMFORT-ZONE CHALLENGES! You can use it for daygame, but also for your social life. Social life Since daygame and C-z challenges this aspect improved. Now I met RSD guys who are on the streets everyday and I'm in their Whatsapp group. I met another daygamer who goes solo and he asked me to daygame this weekend and maybe the next. I did hang out with a peer student and we both want to do this more often. I do have contact with my long time ago vacation love from when we were 15. I asked her for a date, because I like her. I asked her just for fun. I have no intentions except to get to know her and have fun We still have to find a date for the date. I think I friend-zoned her. I met a man from Sri lanka who approached me 4 weeks ago and he needed help so I offered him help. I helped 2 times and he and his wife thanked me with a Sri Lanka dinner at their place which was vegetarian/vegan and delicious. The second time we had a great talk and he had a very touching story about his life. When I haired this I felt ashamed for my modern life problems. I was also invited by my student house co-students to chill and talk in their room. Now one is going to celebrate her birthday and I'm invited to it, we will go out on 27/02. And lastly I fellow intern likes me and he invited me to go to a game store (which I declined, because I wanted to go to my mom). He is a game addict, but a nice person and we keep in touch. I never got this much attention and adventure in my life. thanks to my C-zc i also met a man who preached about Christianity. I felt his devotion and sense of purpose which was inspiring. He shouted on the streets and when I approached we talked a lot and he treated me thee from MC Donald. I tried to learn about his Stage blue perspective and as he talked it seems that Christianity made him evolve from Red, because I was a pickpocket-er in his early life.

123 days now guys. I can say that I feel happier now. This is because of a number of factors. Nutrition, exercise, a morning routine and cold showers help a lot. No-fap makes sure you make time for this stuff, so I think no-fap makes you happy in directly. What I recommend if you try no-fap is: Eat vitamin pills next to your healthy diet Cold showers Talk to strangers on the street Be outside often Do physical exercise To make sure you stick to no-fap make it visual. I have a calendar and everyday I cross of a day to make my progress visual. Currently I don't really need it anymore, but it makes it a whole lot more fun to do, it's like a game you play. Challenging yourself and making the progress visual.

I also finished one book last Saturday which has been like 10 months since the last time. Now I reread one which I almost finished in half a week. I bought some new ones too.

Habits streaks of week 7 I notice that the morning routine is easier than breaking habits. Now I enjoy watching films and series in the weekend. Normally I would watch everyday. I'm so happy that I reduced this time consuming habit. I was addicted to TV my whole life. I re-listened to Leo's spiral dynamics stage orange and green "how to transcend" part and I realized that I might be more developed then I thought. Many of the resistances of stage green I don't experience and I always try to keep an open mind. If I keep my life in check as it is right now I might grow into yellow faster than I think. I talked with a friend of mine who is very keen in noticing my development. He told me that I'm pursuing enlightenment, but that I probably don't do this consciously. Maybe he is right, maybe he is wrong. What matters is that I make progress and in this very moment I feel more in control of my life than ever before. Since my break-up I awakened to purpose. I don't know it yet, but their are layers and layers to discover. One purpose of mine is to move up the spiral and help others to do the same. How I'm going to do this will be the external manifestation of this purpose, like a mask, a cover up for conscious development and I'm the only one who will understand what is behind that mask. Day game Last week I did 9 approaches in total. I have trouble to make time for it do do a lot of approaches on a day and I keep making excuses which I can't hide from myself, because I'm to aware of it. It's like being pushed in a corner, but I know that I went in the corner all by myself and being in the corner while knowing I put myself there creates a weird feeling inside me. maybe Leo his awareness is curative video can be useful for this. 5 of those approaches I did with my wing. 1 approaches ended with changing numbers, the girl didn't respond, but I see it as an achievement anyway. I also approached men as well to strengthen my social muscle. I feel more happy in general, normally I would feel 4/10 now its like 6,5/10 which is a huge change. It feels like I nurture my soul and connection to other souls in this life.

Currently I am in a similar position. I too am trying to integrate Orange. In my case it is succes with girls and money. I repressed both and deep inside I knew I wanted both, but I would try to live up to my ought self. Making money has to wait, but succes woth girl I can do now. My advice is first be totally honest with yourself even if you feel like it's wrong to fulfill your desire. Secondly incorporate one of your desires in your life and see that it is meant to move you up on the spiral. Thirdly also keep maintaining your green practices or habits (in my case trying to become vegan). And lastly when the time is their to quit doing stage orange stuff, move on fully into green.

Today I met guys from an RSD community on the streets. One dude I saw days earlier and I suspected him from doing pick-up. I saw it again and I approached him. He and his friend invited me into their RSD community of at least 15 people.

@PetarKa thank you so much!

@Guided not in a day, in like 2 weeks. Is it like cold showers? It sucks but after 1 1/2 years I can flip my switch and just do it. Before I would procrastinate and come up with exuses.

@Leo Gura thx for the indept advice. It's funny because just now I closed a girl and got her number, my first number! Just as you said talking to others helps. Before I approached her I had a deep conversation with a guy from Japan and this energized me so I felt so fulfilled, because that is my element. I had the vibe and approached the girl from the side, like a meter next to her. I made eye contact first and then I said hello. Open nody language and a big fat smile that was authentic. The conversation went less mechanical and it was in English. But yeah as you say becoming more social is at the moment more important to get my gears spinning. I also approached 4 girls at ones and asked them their highest value. It was funny to do. I also got a wing who I will meet for the second tine this Saturday. I'm by the way aligning my life with habits on general and I feel much better then ever. @see_on_see thanks for your support, I really appreciate you stepping up for me.

@Sahil Pandit Thx man. It is painful. I definitely am more aware of my selfdeceptions and the way I manipulate myself in keeping my ego comfortable. @MM1988 I also want to say that 1/5 girls I compliment feel so great! They laugh and are genuinely thankful. The feeling that gives is like a dopine rush for a minute and pride.

@7thLetter Maybe your right, but I'm very introverted and I think that would make it difficult for me to do night game. I also don't live very close to the clubs and it will kill my morning routine. Still I think I want to try it sometime. Day Game is harder I think, but that creates more growth. I think the best thing to do is combine it. Btw, I think your analogy is funny and I agree.

Habits streaks of week 6 Apparently I post my updates on Monday. I fixed something in my excel file. Nofap was easy this week. Not watching entertainment goes way better then expected in total I watched maybe half an hour or less of videos for entertainment, 1 film and 3 anime episodes. Even if I watch entertainment for 1 minute I fail, but overall I'm really impressed by my discipline. Eating vegan is also a piece of (non dairy) cake. I still have some food from my mom like chocolate and other stuff. I also eat multi vitamin and B12. every day. Waking up early is easy when having my internship and really hard in the weekend. My morning routine can be hard sometimes and boring, but I try to keep it interesting by doing sometimes guided meditation, different yoga postures and switching the order of those habits. The minutes are by the way an estimation, but it reflects it quite well. Day game This week was very difficult I approached 4 girls in total and I had one full conversation. The conversations went mechanical, but I came further then before in my approach. I have doubts, fears and limiting beliefs that hold me back. I really want this experience, but I feels painful to be ignored by a girl. This week I did only one high five, this can be the reason why my fears took over, because I didn't enjoyed it. Next Saturday I'll meet my wing again in a different city. I want to feel like a king, what I mean is that I want to feel so confident and proud of doing what I want without caring what other people think. It feels like I need to do more comfort-zone challenges. A guy with his channel Sacha daygame also talked about doing comfort-zone challenges before trying pick-up for the same reason. I only worry about my reputation which is currently invisible, but if I do those challenges then people will recognize me, because Antwerp is small compared to NY for example. This also might be a limiting belief.

@Spiral I say that, because I want to be clear of my intent and I want to be honest in my intentions. I don't care about clothes so I would lie. Saying she is pretty I also did. I got some great reactions. One girl was so happy that she blushed . Most of the time it doesn't work, but that would be true for every kind of approach I think. It seems shallow, but you need something to make a connection. The thing that I really appreciate about people you can only know that if you talked enough with someone.

@7thLetter haha okay that's spot on maybe I try to walk around the problem. @MM1988 maybe I'll do night game sometime. People always thought and think I'm weird so nothing really changes. I also like to be weird, it means that I have to courage to be ammunition and act different. If I do what everyone does then I'll die regreting my life. I don't think I understand your question. I do know someone who does Daygame yes. I'm a loner so it also helps me to get out of my student room. What are the benefits from night game compared with Daygame?

So I know this girl from college (or I should say woman because she is 6 years older then me) and she had a long distant relationship with someone far away. Her boyfriend broke up unexpectedly. I broke up too a month ago. Now she says things aren't going too well for her and she says she wants to please see me soon ?. I don't really know her that well and I think it's strange that she wants to talk to me. She has a bigger social circle than I do, because I don't have one. I only visited her once almost a year ago and I haven't seen her much in a year either I never had such a situation and I want to know how I can help her and why she wants to meet up with me.

@Shin@Elisabeth I don't want a relationship. She isn't over the guy btw. I want friends so this is a start. We have a lot common so I'll enjoy conversation with her as much as I can. I think she sees me as a good conversationalist and someone from her level, just like all of you guys. It's just new for me. I never had a girl as a friend before.

@Shin haha, no she didn't. We had a good conversation. I learned her spiral dynamics and stuff.

@Charlotte sorry I don't understand what you mean with weary? Anyway she will be at my place at any minute now.

111 days completed

Habits streaks of week 5 I added two more: You Tube videos; Games. It went pretty well. Since being back in Belgium I did my morning routine for a whole week. I woke up a little bit later in the weekend. It feels good to do this again I feel a lot better. I also got an insight: you have more time if you don't watch any TV. Day game I also did my Day Game sessions and I met my (hopefully) new wing. It was so fun to do. On Friday I approached 8 girls; On Saturday 10; On Sunday 5. The goal is to approach 30-50 girls a week to make progress in my skills. Friday I discovered that I can charge my confidence by doing comfort-zone challenges. I can feel a burning fire in my solar plexus. It radiates as a star and it feels amazing. I gave strange people high-fives and this charged me to make me ready to approach girls. I had no conversations I just said ''Hello I just want to say that I think you are very attractive/beautiful'' and after the respond I said ''have a nice day''. Saturday I started of very anxious, I couldn't even give high-fives and this took 1 hour. So I went back to my place and my goal was to find a solution and apply it afterwards. I found this video very helpful: I wrote down his advice in short and I tried again. I wanted to speak to 10 girls so I did. I had 2 full conversations and almost 1 contact. I had a half conversation and some little chats. Others ignored me, didn't care or I made the situation awkward, because I was stuck. I felt like a hero! I had my first Day game conversations and now it feels like a whole new social world is in my reach. Sunday I met my wing. We talked more than that Day gamed. He gave me some feedback on my approach. Doing the front stop (which was scarred to do) and first make eye contact until I get the attention from a girl and then talk. I did no full conversations I gave the compliment and said goodbye. My wing appears to be solid orange he also has a distaste for spirituality (maybe stage green altogether) so I want to be careful about his influence. He told me he had a sex blog which I think is weird and maybe he only cares about sex. He told me that he wanted to take me to Brussels, because there are more ''high quality girls'' as he said an more girls that are alone. In Antwerp lone girls are rare, because most walk with friends, boyfriends or family. Reactions on Day game In total I approached 28 girls and even older women. I now have experienced a variety of reactions: Ignoring/walking away; Nervous/startled; Awkward/not saying much to me; Not being interested, but thankful; Very enthusiastic and very grateful. The first one is the worst until now. I noticed that these girls are often older (late twenties-early thirties?) or look very mature and rich. The second one I only experienced two times. One of the two was my own lack of skills that caused it. The third one is the worst in my opinion, because I get stuck. This is probably because I lack the experience and skill, but this will probably get better with time. The fourth reactions is probably, because neutral which can go both ways. Skills can help, but maybe they are not interested in me for whatever reason and this is okay. The last one gives me the most confidence and I give those girls great feelings and that makes Day game worth it. One girl even blushed! that gave me even more confidence. These girls might be attracted to me or just very happy. I also experience this more often than expected, maybe 1/4 times up to now. My wing gave me the advice to use stereo types and he said that I have a beneficial situation. I'm Dutch and most girls I approach are Flemish (Antwerp is very multi cultural though). We have the same language, but not the same culture and this is useful for teasing. For Day game I have discovered some strengths: I talk very calmly and not too fast, but I also don't talk loud which is a point to work on; I keep strong eye contact; I smile; I'm straight forward (I have seen many videos in which guys lie and ask for directions for example). This is part of Tom Torero his technique; Open body language. And of course I have many more weaknesses. Mainly approach anxiety and lack of skill.