Elisabeth

@Khron Quality conscious sex CAN to lead to a variety of spiritual experiences (but is not guaranteed - in fact, for most people, it doesn't). These are not fundamentally different from spiritual experiences you can get in other ways. It's just a prefered path for some people.

Heh, thanks girls, and sorry for falling for his bullshit at the very first reading There's nothing "as natural as it gets" about slapping someone's ass and the wide range of emotions that ds opens up should be explored with respect. We've deviated far from the OP's question, but hopefully it was interesting to at least some people reading along.

@Etherial Cat Much love

Well, since you're talking strictly about sex, I obviously won't meet them as a men in the bedroom! I am from central Europe, I do get exposure to influences from both Germany and Russia. Maybe I should travel to USA to see if women there repress their desires as you claim. **** Biological evolution is hard to distinguish from cultural evolution. Since none of us has data on how much of a majority of women enjoy submission, let alone on that nature vs. nurture problem, let's agree to disagree. **** Hah, I was reminded of an extremely bizarre Russian influence! This one is for the ladies: http://hellgalerie.cz/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/ropespirit-x-2019-agience-084.jpg

Actually, I reconsidered. It's just a gross generalization. And I fell for it because my own attraction fits the stereotype to some degree. Yeah, MANY women will enjoy some dominance and will seek security through a powerful male. But no, not everyone. Women have a lot of other desires from a partner, and I know wonderful couples who don't fit the stereotype at all and have a lot of fun sexually. And no, women are not really socialized to repress their desire - if anything we're still socialized to be submissive in so many ways. In fact, I believe an integrated human being is above male and female, and can switch between passivity and activity, dominance and submission, take the lead or follow. Yeah, he/she can still have preferences but finds enjoyment in both roles.

I'm not disagreeing about your main point, but as a submissive women involved in conscious bdsm communities I must add two important caveats to your post. 1) A woman wants to be dominated and taken in bed, AND she wants a man who respects her. Respect is the background on which dominance can happen. Healthy dominance is acknowledging her wish to be sweps off her feet, it is NOT disregarding her other wishes and boundaries. 2) Believe it or not, there are genuinely dominant women, although they seem few and far between, and many, which do have a wish for submission but it is not defining to their sexual enjoyment and they can comfortably take the lead, in life and in bed. There are also PLENTY of authentically submissive men. That is the true societally repressed secret. There's no shame for a man in enjoying submission, however, it could make his partner search harder

This is the answer. I don't understand why people kept posting after this @Identity I agree, this is the answer. Look up some basic text on consent (in bdsm) if you need to, but this is the essence.

rNOW is right, it's also a judgement. But its still ok to have it and even say so. My approach is to strictly talk about me, so when my mum judges our relatives, I'd say "For myself, I prefere not to judge them" or even "I'm consciously trying to unlearn the habit of being critical to everyone in my life, it makes me happier to appreciate the good then to point out what didn't work". If I'm really bothered by their behavior and want to tell them, I could even say "I don't like you judging everyone, because I think it's too harsh to them, and also, it distracts me from my appreciation of the event we just went to". All this can be still perceived as aggression or criticism, but way less so than "you are being mean", if you get what I mean

@OBEler My psychedelic experience is very little, so I can't help with that. Also, I'm sensitive to a variety of substances, but your gf is extremely sensitive. So a woman or not, you probably can't carry the experience over. If you really do need to make the decision for her, what you might want to think of, is her cycle. I'm almost sure the psyche will react way differently in the 2nd vs. the 4th week, if not during the experience, then in the aftermath. (But I don't have the experience to back it up.) Let her choose the best time to work with the substance according to her intentions. The reason I'm stressing her own responsibility is, if something bad happens, your trust could be broken. I understand maybe she won't research herself, but make sure she can give INFORMED consent, tell her about your insecurities - perhaps that you're willing to go with a higher dose, but since reactions are highly individual, you have no way to foresee if this is a good dose for her - and the safety measures and attitudes you both can reasonably take. Let her decide if she wants to retry with less and build up to a bigger dose, or take it right away.

From the RELATIONSHIP point of view: While yes, it's great to be thoughtful, she should take her OWN responsibility for her body. Let her study about the drug, and decide on her dose herself. You can tell her your opinion. But she should decide. Depressed people can struggle with indecisiveness, so it that's a problem you can help her relax and get unstuck, but ultimately making a decision, even a small one, tends to be empowering & a stepping stone to being able to make bigger ones.

If you're a female following Leo, this could be highly relevant to you. Of course, psychiatric diagnoses have their structural limits. Still, if you do tick a box, it's nice to know and work with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITZrfle0niU http://help4aspergers.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/List-of-Female-Asperger-Syndrome-Traits.pdf

@Cineva Separate your belief that you should be sleeping with other women from your desire. I get a very strong impression from your text that those two are getting mixed up in a tangle which makes the issue impossible to work with. I think you can very safely question/dismiss/let go of the belief, as you know it's not even yours. So do that, and see if any desire is left and work with that. It's possible that even the desire can be let go off completely, but imho that's harder and maybe unnecessary. Most people have a desire to sleep with or love another person than their life-partner from time to time. People work with it differently: Monogamous people will either suppress (not recommended), or enjoy the lust and then let go of it, less monogamous will pursue in some controlled (or less controlled) way. So these are your options. In your twenties, you are in a good place to experiment a bit with how your desires work, and how relationships can be custom-built to suit everyone. However, if you and your girlfriend are going to go down the route of open relationships of any kind, be aware that Sex and feelings are not as easily separated for most people. Yes, this is a "danger" to your relationship - it will be a learning curve and it doesn't need to work out for several reasons. Take an informed risk. Jealousy and double standards (i.e. "I want to sleep with others, but I'm not comfortable if my partner does the same") are common in people's feelings and take effort to work through. Tit for tat mentality ("If you have an outside connection I want one too") doesn't work either, as life is chaotic, and people actually have different needs and preferences (i.e. while one partner might be happy with sex only the other one may really be looking for emotional connection). Imposing a ton of rules on your outside connections is also problematic I advise you to a) look at your actual needs and desires rather than societal expectations, b) inform yourself about best consent practices and be considerate to everyone involved, c) actually read some good text about open relationships/swinging/ (polyamory <-although that doesn't seem to be what you aim for right now) or get in touch with some local sex-positive community, such as a swingers or kink club. Otherwise, enjoy

You're welcome.

@assx95 Boundaries is something you set for yourself to follow (as you correctly did in "if she's seeing another guy, I'm not texting her again") to protect yourself from harm. Emotional hurt is also harm - and to keep loving someone who doesn't love you too usually hurts. So a boundary would be to do yourself a favor and let the thoughts and feelings go, gently, but as soon as possible.

@onacloudynight How did you resolve the dilemma so far?

@onacloudynight You love watching anime, but do you also love creating anime? Can you draw, have you spent a 1000 hours practicing just for the joy of drawing itself? If you haven't, you can't tell if it's a purpose for you - or rather, it isn't. You have to pick something you love doing - at least that's my understanding.

I don't think programmers are low social status. Don't know about USA, but over here they tend to be well payed (a part-time IT jobs easily earns you a full salary of, say, a teacher) and in demand, can have more flexible work hours etc.. So being an IT guy is actually quite sexy because of the work benefits they enjoy. Besides, what's up with the secrecy? If she's repelled by IT, you wouldn't be happy in a relationship anyway, if she isn't, great, you just found out by stating it straight in your profile. Ofc. be human too, but there's no reason to leave out a big chunk of your identity.

A person with depression is a PERSON like any other. Usual communication conventions apply with the caveat that they might have a difficult time relating to your happiness or humor, and advice like "DO something .." often doesn't apply because they just don't have the emotional bandwidth to do it, their will tends to be drained by the most common tasks. (However, there's nothing in your post that indicates that she's currently in this deeply tired and inactive state. ) They will also probably have one or more topics where their defence mechanisms are very active - the topics most severely contributing to their mental health problems. A difficulty changing can't be really attributed to medication, rather to the broken parts of the psyche itself. What's your intention with this women, what would you like to talk about?

I understand it as him not knowing what happened to you when you didn't come to the date without an explanation. If you fear your partner's life, or at least a breakup, it's a good reason to freak out. Drinking is not the best reaction, but some people do it. I'm not saying continue dating him or not, just please acknowledge that you gave him a reason by going unresponsive suddenly.

@NormanN It also depends on the teacher's preferences. Giving a lecture vs. one on one individual work are very different experiences. Teachers are also allowed to choose their style of work. Edit: Sorry, I didn't read the thread. It has been said already.

Hi, maybe you could take the position, considering it temporary, and continue to design your mission? Btw. if I'm guessing your country right (which I most likely am) drop me a pm and lets go for tea

Gender reversed, there's a lot of advantages to a manly shoulder that isn't just skin and bones, trust me

That's not negligible, so I'd say stay on your purpose. Vacations are also important though. Can you derive the same level of satisfaction you'd have with the van from travelling by train, hiking, sleeping under a tent or under the sky? That's the European low-cost way Try imagining some other amazing vacations in nature, maybe it helps.

How much would buying the van delay your LP? I'm not sure if 7000 for a used van is cheap, you must know (taking into account it might need service more than a newer one).

Is this of any use?