Salvijus

@something_else @LSD-Rumi I'm not sure what we're talking about anymore ?... Well first of, I didn't mean suppressing it. As long as compulsion is very strong it's better to find a healthy expression to it. But I don't think hitting on woman in a bar everyday is a healthy expression of that compulsion... debatable perhaps. And the very thing of indulging in this sort of activity will not make you free from it, probably will make it even worse. The way to come out of it through consciouness work. Religious morals don't work either of course. @something_else see, you sayed a sex deprived guy can't come out of this longing because he can't get sex and sex is all he ever thinks about. That's the whole point I'm making that even if you give the guy 1000s sex he will still remain with the same compulsion or worse. The core problem is the compulsion, not how to fulfill the compulsion but to overcome the compulsion. For this only consciouness work is the answer. Teaching a desperate guy how to get laid is just a short-term solution. Which is not a solution at all really. Just a postponement of the real problem. Like giving another dose of candy to a kid to stop him from crying. And instead of encouraging kids to overcome their candy compulsion we teach them where the candy shop is and how to earn money to buy lots of candy as if that will solve their crying problems. Do you see the problem here? ?

Now laundry

He makes good points about not having hair, but what's the point of shaving eyebrows lol ? Anyways... I've noticed from my own experience that shaving hair somehow lowers the sense of pride, I think that's the real reason monks shave their hair. Also noticed that cutting hair can feel like dropping a lot of the past and be somewhat liberating and gives a feeling of fresh start. But other traditions say the opposite, I think in christianity it is sayed somewhere not to cut hair and leave them grow. In my experience long hair gives a certain sense of balance somehow. So yeah, lots of different opinions like always ?

I feel overcoming lustfulness and hornyness isn't a big achievement really. It's rather very basic step in a spiritual path. However, overcoming the need for intimacy is different. That's quite advanced stuff. But intimacy itself is not that really bad, it can be very beautiful and spiritual if it's used to no fill the hole inside. Intimacy can be coral even. Where am I going with this? I don't know ? the point I'm trying to make is that the right attitude is to try and overcome the lustfulness and hornyness and move into a realm of pure love and connection without lust. Second point is that to achieve this you have to do spiritual practice. Trying to become pro at landing girls will only feed the lustfulness and hornyness and it's just a backwards step in evolution. What's the point of becoming a pro ape? The point is to overcome the ape. And can only happen through consciouness work. Makes sense? I'm not even sure why I write these. Had a feeling this is useful to write. Or maybe I just like drama ? ?

Thank you ??

A concious human being is incapable of doing something stupid. A stupid action is an unconscious action. By vary nature consciouness and stupidness don't go together. Only because of lack of consciousness can somebody perform a stupid action. Once you become concious of your stupidness automatically self correction happens. That's just the law of awareness. Stupidness means ignorance, awareness means the end of ignorance and stupidness. Speaking about coral beings, can you ever imagine buddha or Jesus hitting ladies in a bar with their dick? Lol. Of course not. Because a coral being is not an ape. That's what makes them coral. Makes sense or no? ?

@ValiantSalvatore ? I feel you'll be fine. Improvement takes time, you'll get there eventually ? ?

The only way to be spontanuous and authentic is to be one with dao. The more you grow in conciousness, the more authentic and spontanious and true and natural and honest you will become. They all go together. Spontaneity is not a mental attitude. The level of spontaneity you have is equivalent to your development in conciousness. ?

The cause of all conflicts is always the same, it's ego. Just work on that one thing and gradually your relationships will improve with all people not just woman. ?

Okey, okey, pick up is great, I'm tired now. Please don't start new debates about the same thing all over again ? Cheers and good luck ?

@Shin your point? ? I was just joking bro. Yes some people commit suicide because they can't get sex. Maybe in that sense it is true that lack of sex can kill you. But that's real logic bending right there ? Sorry I didn't get most of what you tried to say. ?

I'm yet to see a guy die because of lack of sex ? I'm joking, yeah sex can be survival, but it's mostly just apeish pleasure seeking process, not a survival need imo. ?

I feel to add a bit on the "improving social skills by interacting with random people" thing. I don't think it can work like that. Why. Because your interactions are a consiquence of how you are inside and you level of self-awareness. To that extent you can jam and dance with relationships. Relationships are like jamming really. In music if you want to learn improv, you don't do improv 24/7. You cultivate your music sensitivity, your sense of rythm, your ears, and your heart. All these principles will decide how good your music will be. It's the same with social skills. There are no techniques for it, you simply meet and respond to the situation according to your level of awareness. How self-aware you are, how honest, natural, sensitive, empathic you are, that will be the quality of your socializing. A very high quality socializing ends up in union and love and silence. To develop these qualities that make socializing smooth and successful is what consciouness work is all about. Only through consciouness work can people learn socializing. It's when you're disconnected from yourself that you are lost among people and don't know what to say and all that stuff. Because a person is not sufficiently self-aware that's why these problems come. It's like a tone deaf person trying to play jazz improv. Obviously he will feel lost and clueless what to play. Everything he plays will sound out of tune and out of context, that's exacly what happens when people who have no self-awareness trying to socialize with people ? 1000 attempts phylosophy will not work. You need to work on the principles. ?

@something_else hmmmm... okey okey. You win. Pickup can help you POTENTIALLY. To improve your.... what? Aaaa, confidence? What else? Can it teach you to be more respectful and inclusive? Aaaa, maybe? Potentially? But in the end it's only logical that if you want to learn relationship you have to become a loving, respectful, good will generating person, only then there is a possibility of having a harmonious interaction. Otherwise where there's no love and respect things turn nasty and dark once the sex motive is is fulfilled. And to develop these qualities, you need consciouness work not pick up experience, does that make sense or no? It does make sense to me somehow. Also just because you got your anxiety to approach woman dissapear somewhat. That is not a sign that you improved your ability to connect with people and have a harmonious successful relationship, no? Many people have no anxiety to speak to woman but they are still assholes. The point of healthy pickup is to develop your ability to connect with people not to overcome approach anxiety imo. No? I don't know myself even lol. But it seems to make sense so far at least for me. I think we have drifted somewhere into another topic now. If we are talking about healthy pickup than landing a few girls is not an achievement it's just ape buiseness. But if learning to connect to people on a deep level is what healthy pickup is all about. I would say it's a simple consiquence of consciouness work. I don't see another option here.. ?

Lol, fair enough ?

@Knowledge Hoarder but it was more of an observation than critism or advice... You're fine. She's exaggerating a little bit because she's venting. But I did pick up a similar vibe from you earlier that she described. A most unpleasant thing to hear probably. We are all retarded in the end so that should comfort you somewhat ? it helps at least for me to come to terms when I do something stupid ? Don't know why I'm writing all this, Regards ?

@Khr @Knowledge Hoarder lol you guys. It's getting hot here ? they will close this thread if you continue. But this woman is telling the truth here a little bit that could be healthy thing to look at. Unpleasant as it may sound, I know ? ??

Not sure, well for starters I don't think pick up heals a person from shyness. Pick up can replace shyness with cockiness and arrogance. It teaches you to basicly to be an alpha male and dominate a woman and that sort of stuff. I don't see that as a big improvement honestly. Maybe even a degradation more than improvement. This is unhealthy pickup im talking about here. For this anxiety of speaking with people to dissapear there are two solutions: 1.You build your self esteem alot and you think you're great, this often can lead to becoming a self-centered asshole 2. You attain to certain level of harmony and inclusiveness and wholeness in yourself. Than all your interactions become filled with good will and respect for another person. You can’t achieve this quality of having a good will and love towards other by hitting on woman 24/7. It only comes as a consiquence of your spiritual practice. But it's the only real lasting solution that works I think. To learn the art of relationships no prior experience is needed and there're no techniques that make you better at it. All you have to do is have good will towards another, be honest, be self-aware and concious, don't be manipulative and self-centered and that's it. But for this you need consciouness work not pick up experience. Pick up experience will only give you confidence. What good is confidence if you're a self-centered asshole? It's better to stay shy in this case. ? Does this make sense or no? I'm just writing without thinking, I could be wrong about many things. Regards ?

It's not about long or short relationships. It's about whether a relationship is based on respect, love and acceptance. Or is it based on manipulation and pretending and playing mind games to get what you want.

Dude, all addictions are the same and the solution to all of the addictions is the same. Purge your mind and body. But you need proper tools for that, find those tools and just purge yourself. It's that simple. ?

@zazen okey okey, ? you made some good points. I agree, socializing is great and can be beautiful could be healthy also, but pick up is different. It's like a game you play to get laid, that what's lame and low conciousness about it. If people focued on how to build strong, lasting, loving solid relationship, I would say bravo!. But when people say how to make a woman sleep with you because you can't hold your dick in your pants for 1week. I just go facepalm ? ?

I think I get it now. I'm addicted to drama, lol. I don't even care what you guys do or don't do ? Sorry, regards ?

There's nothing "survival" about pick up. It's just feeding and indulging the apeish low conciousness tendencies. Instead of giving advice how to be a successful ape, a wise being enourages people to move and transend their apeness. Where true wellbeing lies. P.s. of course relationships can be beautiful and high conscious thing. But pick up is different. ?

And you can't learn relationships by going out and hitting on women all the time. A successful relationship is a consiquence of a mutual acceptence and respect. If you become an inclusive, loving person all your relationships will become successful (except for a few cases). You can’t achieve this through party club housing. Only through consciouness work when you achieve some union within yourself, then you will be able to connect with people effortlessly. You think echkart tolle did lots of pick up to end up so social and anxiety free? The only thing you will learn through these pick up games is how to manipulate and pretend to be a great guy for a few days. Basicly a good actor you will become. No meaningful relationship will last on such a weak basis. You'll just get laid and that will be the end of the relationship. Unless that's all you want. Which has its own problems long term... I don't where I'm going with this nor why I'm writing this. Stay well ?

Boys, just focus on your spiritual growth, everything else is secondary and will happen according to how evolved you are. Your state of consciouness will decide how the world around you will look like and how successful you are, and relationships, everything... To give pick up advice is like encouraging apes to be better at apeing. To be better at apeing will not make you happy, maybe it will make you more acceptable among apes and fulfill your apeish desires but you will still remain an ape, even if you become the best ape in the world, you're still an ape, which is the core problem of all the problems. If you want happyness you need to come out of your apeness by investing your time and energy into your spiritual evolution. Make sense or no? Who cares. Do whatever lol ? ?