Dan Arnautu

Hi guys! Thanks for taking the time to read this post! DISCLAIMER: I take full responsibility for my internal state. I don't blame spiritual teachings or anything else for how I feel. So, since I started to learn more about spirituality, I started facing a loss of motivation to build new habits, continue my old succesful ones, work on my skills etc. THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M NOT STILL DOING THEM, but just that my attitude towards them has changed. For example, before (learning about spirituality), I experienced great joy from hitting PR's in the gym, looking better and better and getting stronger. Now though, my mind seem to be putting negative twists to every sign of progress that I get in any area of life. For example, I may sometimes hit a milestone, and my mind would say something like: ”Yeah, you hit a milestone, but what's the point, it won't matter in the end.”, "Oh, so you've learned 5 new scales on the guitar, but you know you are not your skills or your ability, so it still doesn't matter in the end." or "Ok, you've put 5 kg of muscle and got rid of 10 kg of fat this year, but you are not your body, so don't be so excited about that 6 pack." I know that one thing to do would be not to engage in these compulsive thoughts and rather just observe them for what they are. BUT, I want to go deeper than that. I want to be able to change the interpretations of the experiences back to something more positive, that would amp me up rather than bring me down. How can I find the ambitious side of myself again that experiences joy from mastery (of anything) ?

@Stoica Doru A zen devil is not just one who is able to do evil after enlightenment. It can also be one who uses being enlightened as an excuse to not engage with the outer world, to not learn history, biology and all that is not related to spirituality, to not achieve mastery in anything and that considers all things outside spirituality meaningless. So in a sense, yes, a Zen devil can be an ignorant person seeking enlightenment or an ignorant enlightened being and not just a manipulative or evil enlightened being.

@egoeimai Haha, thank you. That really brought my mood up. These long lasting problems in my head seem to be resolved quickly as I get insights in conversations with other people. This has always been the case for me. I usually need to talk to someone so I can figure out a solution in conversation. Even if it's just a monologue and the other person is just listening to me. Before, it has not been a problem, but now, being in college, I don't talk to many people and I spend like 80% of my week alone in my own thoughts and awareness, haha.

@egoeimai Thank you for answering! No, I did not have any of these thoughts before spirituality. Before learning about spirituality, life for me was much more exuberant and spontaneous. I was always the happiest in the room, took pride in my work ethic, abilities and so on. Right now, I don't know what I am missing. It may be a new unconscious belief that just because I need to disindentify myself from certain things, that I am also no longer allowed to enjoy those things, ex. my body and natural talents. (as I am writing this, it seems like a good insight that I haven't thought of before). These nihilistic thoughts seem to be unconscious. Another reason may be the fact that once my ”false sense of security” has been shattered (when I took comfort in my assumptions and beliefs), that may have been a trigger of my fearfulness of reality. Also, I do not fear losing interest in these things (this I will always have), but I may fear losing joy from doing and achieving milestones and mastery in those things.

@Preetom Fellow guitarist here

All I see is pure mastery. Or might be just fanboyism. I don't know what you see.

1. The fact that meditation both gives you peace of mind and brings your unconscious bad stuff to the surface. Should I meditate or not as a 19 year old even though I don't want to pursue enlightenment right now? I don't think I am ready yet for spiritual work but I don't know what to do (I still haven't started my career oficially, haven't nailed down my life purpose, need a lot more experience with relationships and building more succesful habits) Should I meditate daily even though I will pursue enlightenment only maybe 10 years from now? Won't all the things that come to the surface interfere with my work, habits and other stuff and make me go through intense emotional labour (or only self-inquiry will do that)? 2. Reconciling spirituality with the practical aspects of life. Should I give up researching on spirituality entirely for now until I figure all the other stuff out? The more I learn about spirituality, the more fearful I become of reality and all that is + I get into really weird emotional states. It may be a fear of uncertainty and shattered perspectives When I go out with friends now I keep asking myself continously „How am I actually them and how are they me?„ and need to enter the flow of the conversation before I can finally relax Before knowing anything about spirituality I was less fearful to meditate and treated meditative experiences with curiosity rather than a fear that what I'm doing might dissolve al that I am (the ego), which it does, and will proceed to do so when I figure all the other things in my life out having a Samadhi experience was the coolest thing for me even if I did not know what it was then Fearing shifts in awareness or progressing too quickly when I am not ready for it. Had a few experiences already that freaked me out temporarily

@kardo Neediness is a consequent feeling from not having abundance in your life. If you would have 5 girls to choose from, you would not act needy or be needy. Rather you would be in a position of power to choose. Same for money, love and everything else.

You will have phases like that until your psyche fully develops (until you are about 21). There are a lot of changes happening with your body and mind, hormonal and what not. The only thing you can do is watch the mood swings from a 3rd eye view and don't judge them and react to them. Become like a hyperconductor. Of course it's easy for me to say that, but what do you do in an actual panic attack? I don't think you would really mind the mood swings if they did not include negative emotions. If you start to panic, inhale to a count of 5, hold your breath to a count of 5 and exhale to a count of 5, and repeat that on and on with your hand on your heartbeat until it starts to really slows down (if it takes 10 minutes or more, so be it). Also, as much as meditation brings bad stuff to the surface, in the same way it starts to prolong your states of equanimity (a nonreactive state to your emotions) and that also usually comes with an underlying calmness. Do ”Take 10” from Headspace (you can find it on google) and see how it affects your mood. In 10 days you can come back here and give a report.

@pluto I need to proceed carefully. I had a mild psychosis earlier today as I forced too many spiritual teaching and insights (in a very short span of time) on an unprepared ego and it backlashed really hard. For a pretty psychologically healthy individual, I saw for the first time how much power the ego actually has over me and I began to respect it a lot. It really humbles me. If I did not know how to do Pranic Breathing and implement some of Matt Kahn's teachings (treating the ego with respect, love and appreciation on the process of trying to transcend it) I don't know what I would've done.

It's a good thing that you decided to change things around. Although, I don't think you should aim to become an asshole. You should rather aim to become confident and attractive. Fortunately or unfortunately, it will require a lot of work. There are no magic pills here. If you want to attract a high quality woman, you will need to become a high quality man. Get your looks in check, your hygiene, your life purpose etc. Also, your game needs to be on point. By game I mean the process of seduction. It won't matter if you have a bulging six pack or the prettiest model face; girls will flee in an instant if they see you crumbling on your words or project neediness. A first good step would be to read and learn about the principles of seduction and sexuality in general. After that, adopt a proven method of seduction and go out and practice. You should commit to at least a year of doing this consistently. I would suggest following this channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/thenaturaltv A good book to read is ”How to be a 3% Man” by Corey Taylor Also, here you have a 2 hour video on the ”Nice Guy Syndrome”

@sheenp24 Both burn the same amount of calories. With a treadmill you can keep the speed constant though and you can use it in the winter. Both are good. It's just a matter of preference.

@cetus56 Interesting. Can you expand on that?

@Dodoster @Prabhaker Found something interesting .

@Prabhaker I don't know too much about him. I remember him claiming that his life purpose was to bridge eastern spiritual teachings with the west. I really like the way he talks. I might look more into his teachings

@mikeyy Yes, I would argue that all the others are still important in a relative sense. Watch the video on ”Becoming a Zen Devil”. Your life will catch up to you if you focus only on enlightenment. Meditation may feel like it's all you need to be fulfilled, but not to survive. You still need to lean down if you are obese, earn money so you can not only dedicate more time to meditation later on but also start to automate things and be able to afford healthy food and so on (that with also help with your concentration and meditation practice). Also, by being ignorant of everything else, you won't be able to integrate properly the insights that you might have during meditation; you won't be able to fit it in some sort of big picture understanding.

@ajasatya Don't know about the others but this is the LIfe Purpose, Career and Entrepreneurship subforum and those 3 I think he nails.

@Dingus Kudos to that. It's good stuff. Although I was talking more about small things to implement, like maybe good habits like reading good books instead of watching tv or meditating. Or for example when looking to buy a car looking at the intrinsic value of items instead of the apparent value and so on. Like in the video about how to ace life and college.

Currently doing guided mindfulness meditation (Headspace - part 3 of the Discovery Series). I can now relate to my thoughts and emotions in a different way and not take them so seriously. When I wake up at 6 A.M. I get a lot more work done and have more time to relax. Also, this early in the morning no one can bother me in any way. I like to meditate as soon as I wake up and I can savor my coffee with a good book. Broke this habit unfortunately because of so many vacations and need to get it dialed back in. RIght now I go to sleep at about 4:00 in the morning and wake up at 14:00 in the afternoon (which is pretty bad). I need to thank you for showing interest in my life situation.

I created this topic just to share my amazement to how much growth is actually possible. I was looking at some videos of me just 2 years ago, and I realized that no aspect, and I literally mean NO ASPECT of my past self is present anymore. I did not recognize who I was looking at in those videos. Everything changed radically since I took Self-Actualization seriously. Everything from my body, the way I talk, to my confidence, insecurities, doubts, abilities, limiting beliefs, neurosis changed in a good way and it feels like I upgraded myself 10x in just 2 years since I've gone out of highschool. So many new habits, changes in perspective and patterns everywhere that I did not see before with my mind's eye. Uncertainty continues to increase, and I am starting to relate to what Socrates said: ”All that I know is that I know nothing.” So many things that beg to be mastered. To think that these were only 2 years, and that I have at least 60 to go (please don't get into nonduality here, you know I'm talking only about human existence) is exciting and scary at the same time. I wonder if these shifts will continue to happen as often as they did until now or if there will be a slowdown (in the case that I will put in the same amount of work that I did until now). Now I see that the majority of people die without experiencing even 0.1% of what life has to offer and that is pretty sad. Feel free to share your own experiences!

@Dingus Lmao

@HelloThere Things I've changed include: Moving temporarily to the country's capital for college (Bucharest, Romania) Here I started working with the best guitar teacher in the country and one of the best in Europe My guitar skills improved more in 2 months than in 7 years of self taught work Also, the teacher made me part of his elite group of guitar students (and almost all his students are part of the greatest acts in the country) - he coaches professional musicians The independence I got from the whole situation skyrocketed my confidence Being a philosophy student put me in a group of like minded people to whom I can relate more than my past drinking buddies and due to the nature of the degree I got to work on my social skills a lot and improve my ability to express my own opinion with relevant facts. Also, like Leo said, it also helped me see through the bullshit in other people's logic I realize that the quality of my life increases dramatically when I am not in the presence of my parents (I am not bossed around, I do whatever I want to do, I am no longer influenced by their limiting beliefs and bad habits) I love them, don't get me wrong, but I would rather not live with them Going down to 8% bodyfat and putting on a high amount of muscle mass, after being fat my whole life Now everybody I know would kill to have my kind of physique, but they are not willing to put in the work From not reading at all to devouring information 24/7 Since starting college I finished many courses on different topics (health, wealth, love, happiness) and read more than 20 books, from psychology and business books to autobiographies, spiritual books and so on From that, I now get to see patterns everywhere, and am starting to know exactly how situations have come to be as they are and what is needed for change to happen Also, it makes me speak with a lot more confidence in every situation because I know exactly what I am talking about and I can support it with facts This also makes me more attractive to girls Correcting bad habits and putting new ones in place meditation waking up everyday at 6 A.M fasting for 6 hours after waking up (when I am dieting) mindfulness (being aware of my own emotions and reactions and redirecting them in a positive way) which means no more compulsive behaviour eating clean making my bed planning every day in time blocks listening to audiobooks and podcasts when I do chores, shower or commute (sometimes I meditate when commuting though) cut cable TV two years ago quit gaming almost completely (I used to play for hundreds and hundreds of hours), though I still indulge for a short while after long stretches of time same for movies and documentaries (max 1 per day before I go to sleep) - before there were days when I would watch for 8h straight stopped buying useless crap and started investing in myself These are some of the changes. I will edit the post if more come to mind.

For the first year and a half in my philosophy degree, studying was enjoyable, but as we got into more and more systematic and futile concepts, I started to lose a lot of motivation. Right now it actually got to the point where I would finish 2-3 books I like instead of a 20 page reading assignment for college. I would rather read Mastery by George Leonard than the Phenomenology of Spirit by Hegel or the theory of direct refference anyday. I see absolutely no practicality. Like Leo said, academic philosophy is just normal philosophy with it's heart ripped out and stripped of it's best qualities. I study for life-long learning, for mastering my own psychology, for making systematic changes to every aspect of my own life, for tasting everything that life has to offer before my own death.

Can somebody explain this quote to me please?

@Sooraj sunilkumar If you are prepared enough, fear will melt away. Let's say hypothetically that all you are supposed to do on stage is clap your hands 2 times. You would not fear that one bit because you trust your ability to be able to do that. Same thing, if you would know your act inside and out, you would trust that the act would be on autopilot once you are on stage. Would you still have butterflies in your stomach? Yes, but that's not fear, that's excitement.