Dan Arnautu

@Joseph Maynor Depends if you are addicted to suffering or not. If you have no regrets, that's great. Lol

Lmao

@Morrtiz @Emerald @Prabhaker @Dantas Well, I started to see that these thoughts are like a koan (a riddle that zen masters usually give to their disciples to prove them that the mind can only be confused and that the mind can only go crazy if it tries to fit the universe withing it's limitations). It's somehow trying to teach me surrender. The most common thought/paradox I encounter is how can I be an individual and the whole thing at the same time. Then I feel really overwhelmed and terrorized. Also the solipsistic thought that I may be just myself in this reality. I see that it's natural that one may experience this. Who wouldn't? You are going where few people are ever willing to go. Naturally you will get scared and have panic attacks if you are not developed enough or aware enough that those are just emotions that feel real IN THE MOMENT. I sometimes have glimpses when I think I cannot find myself and start to try to find myself and then say I am everywhere I look, which is more than overwhelming. It's like trying to fill in a glass of water, but the water is in such a high quantity that it even exceeds the space in the room. See the thought loop you can get into though? But then I start to breathe and I come back. I start to feel the inner body and see the limitations. Someone with no mindfulness practice at all will go bollocks with all this spiritual stuff. Might even kill themselves. No joke! My mind can only give up when it sees that it CAN NOT know and that it is possible that it may never know intelectually. I like the analogy Sadhguru gives: "So, you have a bicycle. It starts to go by itself. You get scared. It starts to go even faster. You freak out. It starts to go even faster than that. You experience terror. But, when you know how to ride the bicycle, the faster it goes, the more pleasurable it is." This is how we experience our mind without enough mindfulness practice or by losing ourselves so much in theorizing that it is ruining our day to day life.

@Natasha No problem. I too love listening to him. His way of handling language is of utmost beaty. It's an art in and of itself. I would love to be able to speak like that someday.

Student Life Day 4 | Saturday | The Guitarist and The Philosopher. Where do they meet and why? - Part I This is by far the most asked question I get regarding my career and trajectory in life. What the hell was the logic behind going for a bachelor's degree in philosophy after studying the guitar for more than 7 years and knowing that music will be your industry of choice for the rest of your life? Today, let's see how I got into university in the first place. Before we begin, let me tell you, this is definitely a legit question, but the answer is not black and white. The answer needs a little bit of context. This will be somewhat of a longer entry, but I assure you it will be worth your time if you decide to read it. In Part I will adress everything that happened before I even thought about going for a degree in a domain opposite to music. Let's go back to the month of July, 2015. I had just finished both highschool and a private music school in my hometown. In highschool, my specialization of choice was music theory and in the private music school, my specialization of choice was the electric guitar. I found myself sitting and pondering if college would be a good option for me to pursue further or if I should just stick to some bands and start making some money and not waste time around. Before I graduated in 2015, I found out about the ICMP (The Institute of Contemporary Music Performance) from London (a good thing to note is that I come from a small county from Romania called Botoșani, so the decision to go there meant studying very far away from where I normally lived) and started to think very hard about going there. I came to the conclusion that a compromise was needed here. I said, ok, so I don't want to waste 3 years of my life in college, but I still don't feel prepared enough or experienced enough to start my career. Let's see if there is a middle way. The ICMP has a program called the Higher Diploma which is ”an intensive one-year course that will enable you to develop your performance ability, musical vocabulary and personal qualities alongside like-minded musicians”. That seemed like a good fit for me and I also had some friends there. You could also apply for a scholarship to get into the Higher Diploma program. I said, ok, if I don't win that scholarship, I'm gonna either wait for one more year and try again or I'm gonna start my own music career without any degree. The situation looked like this. The scholarship was put on display in a contest format. The guy who nailed both the audition and the interview got the cake (the fee for the degree was about 6500 pounds, so the scholarship was pretty substantial). I managed to make it into the finals, but I kind of screwed up the interview and I think that was the reason I did not win the scholarship. The ICMP still offered me a paid spot with a discount of 500 pounds and with no audition required because I've already proven my skills to them. But, I knew I could not afford that. I was pretty bummed out by the thought that all my friends will go to college and in the meanwhile I will just sit on my ass waiting for a whole year in order to try for the scholarship again. That was how I felt, until I decided to... You will find out what happened after those beginning events next week, on Part II. Stay tuned. No quote today either, as the story is not over, but still, I'm gonna leave you with my scholarship entry for the year I applied:

@Dantas Thanks bro!

@2000 You have access to the entire lives, mistakes and victories of all the great people that ever existed. Someone out there wrote about how to solve any problem that you may have right now. Isn't that a compelling enough reason?

@CreativeInertia Good luck to you too!

Habits Day 3 | Friday | Fluctuating Sleep Patterns Last year I did have a habit of waking up at 6 A.M. everyday and going to bed at 10 P.M. everyday. It really worked at improving my life. I did not encounter great energy fluctuations between days anymore, I was much more productive an my overall well being increased. That was the case until I was thrown off track by deadlines and late night meetings with people. The habit lasted for only a few months. Right now, my sleep schedule is very hectic. Sometimes I go to bed at 4:00 and wake up at 14:00 and on other times I go to bed at 00:00 and wake up at 6:00. Needless to say, my energy levels fluctuate a lot right now. On one day I feel like I can conquer the whole world and on other days I feel that I don't even have the force or willpower necessary to even get out of bed and want to just sleep all day. This, of course, affects my next night's sleep. I will try and instill this habit back this summer, after all my exams are over. I think it's one of the most important habits to have, but it's important that I find a compelling reason to look forward to waking up at 6:00. I'll see about that. One thing that I found helps instill this habit is going through one night without sleep so you can fall asleep the next day at any hour you want. Some other things worth doing is making it hard to turn of the alarm (e.g. Alarmy for iOS) or being accountable to do something if you don't wake up on time (e.g. paying someone 5$) Nothing more to say about this. Action counts here. So, this is Dan! I'm signing out. Have a great day! “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” -- Benjamin Franklin

I'm listening to this now. It's awesome!

@No-Thing Now when resistance comes, I just start to love it and watch it, nothing more. And then it dissapears. Remaining conscious and doing it as much as necessary is the hard part.

@No-Thing What helped me come back to a place of peace was starting to always keep some awareness on the inner body (since yesterday) so I don't get overwhelmed by my surroundings. Because, I saw that if I am not aware of the inner body, the emotions creep up into the mind and create and endless vicious cycle. It really, really helps. Today I was calm pretty much all day and barely had any thoughts, and those that did appear, I could see them and detach from them. When I was outside before I started keeping awareness on the inner body, I felt overwhelmed by the outside world and the vast space that creeps into my sense of being. Staying with some awareness in my body while also looking mindfully at the outside world really brought some balance and don't feel so scared anymore. This is a tip I read from The Power of Now yesterday.

@Prabhaker I understand, but this is where the problem is. You can't say that just because you are relaxed on the surface all the time that this should be generally the same case for everyone who meditates or has switched from weight training. I know people that feel more anxious when they stop training rather than not (even many months after they had stopped). Not everybody responds the same. And to say that you have always been peaceful since you started meditating, it makes me doubt your spiritual practice. Either you were very purified from the beginning, you didn't have any addictions or you are/were dead inside (from the beginning), lol. Most people encounter emotional labour together with their meditation practice and that is a fact, not an assumption. Thanks for your input though!

@Prabhaker I understand where you are coming from. But, how do you know weightlifters don't breathe from tanden throughout the day? Have you checked each one of them? Also, I do agree that breathing from tanden keep you relaxed, but saying that people are ALWAYS peaceful is a generalization. It's not like they become immune to other emotions. Maybe you are referring to a UNDERLYING peace which is not affected by the surface agitation. In that case you are right. But to say that they are always peaceful on the surface. You don't know that. You are assuming that.

@Prabhaker I am sorry but you are making a lot of assumptions and I can tell you don't actually know from first hand experience what it's like to do weightlifting for a long period of time. I do not condemn you for not knowing though. When I started I also didn't know. Deep Diaphragmal (belly) breathing is one of fundamentals in weightlifting. The shallow chest breathers are the meathead bros in the gym that have no idea what they are doing. The guys that suck their belly up are just insecure. I have a much better breathing than 99% of people out there not only because of meditation and weightlifting, but also because of vocal singing. If you do not use deep diaphragmal breathing when singing, you won't be able to generate power and your vocal cords will get damaged. Also, when you start lifting you don't force yourself into a meditative state. It happens on it's own accord. You enter in a flow state.

In our own development, seeing life from 100's of different perspectives I think can give us a preview to our own hero's journey and help us expand our mind and our realm of possibility. Fiction books seem to help in this regard. What fiction books have struck a chord with you the most? What fiction books inspire you on your own hero's journey? What fiction books have increased your creativity and expanded your realm of possibility? My personal favorites: The Witcher Saga by Andrzej Sapkowski The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (a good intro to nonduality in my opinion) The Green Mile by Stephen King Hmm, I personally would include Autobiographies as well if we are looking at the fresh perspective standpoint, but still, that's not fiction.

Oddly enough, a meditation practice alone will cover almost all other specific problems that may occur during your personal development. For example: no anger issues no need to be right in an argument and thus you get the best outcome insecurities pretty much disappear because you start to live more and more in the present moment and insecurity doesn't exist there - it can only live in the past or future (and thus in your mind) fears start to melt your sleep quality improves and your sleep quota may go down from 8 hours to 4-6 hours because your body does not actually need sleep; it needs rest - if you would sit into a deep meditative state all day it would be like your are deep asleep but at the same time totally awake. Cool effect, huh? your focus improves your creativity improves etc. You get the point. You don't even need to read ”How to read friends and influence people” if you have a meditation practice. What is needed will start to manifest on it's own, with no conscious effort Second best I think would be reading and researching in general.

Well, any career will pretty much suck almost all of your time. I think that a good rule of thumb would be to read 1 or 2 books a month and strategically find time to implement whatever the books say. For some exercises you don't have to plan ahead of time though. For example if a book says to try and look for signs of defensiveness when you talk to people, you don't need to schedule time to do that. You just do it whenever you happen to have a conversation.

@Delinkaaaa That can be also a reason. Why not? I'll try that. I definitely resist the present moment. No doubt about that.

@Martin123 I think I've found my answer and you are right. I tried doing the self-acceptance exercise Leo has again to see if one of the ”me's” is more sensitive right now. When it got to these 3 me's: the me who is scared, the me who feels lost and with no direction and the me who is confused, something clicked, like really hard, like ”THERE IT IS!” . I had a deep aha moment and saw what I was neglecting and saw the reason I felt so ungrounded. Lately I felt pretty invisible to the world, like I am not there, and now I saw that I just needed recognition and love from myself. I felt unloved, scared and alone until I gave myself that love and security back. After gushing my eyes out for about 10-20 minutes, I now see that I just need to learn to trust myself more. With all of this work, I started doubting that a light is even there, and I started to overexaggerate the fact that I shouldn't trust myself, to the point where I didn't even trust my intuition or my direct experience. Thank you all for the answers! Love to you, all!

@Prabhaker Why wouldn't they? I would argue the contrary. I feel much more at ease after working out and more in the present moment. I sit too much as it is and I only go three times a week.

@Prabhaker I agree with the second part. Regarding the first, I don't make an excess out of exercising. The gym is just the place where the panic attacks happened. Might as well have happened in the bathroom. No real causation between them.

@Bob84 Is there a way to redirect the thoughts to something else when it happens, not just being mindfull? It helps when I say, ok, that's a thought, so it's not necessarily true, but the emotion it causes tricks me into thinking there is an actual real threat and it becomes a vicious circle that I can't seem to stop.

Storytime Day 2 | Thursday | Making peace with your past... It's funny. When I was younger, I always felt like I did not fit in any group and felt that there was something wrong with me. I was always picked last in the football team and I was rarely invited to parties by my school mates. My only refuge was in food, TV Shows and video games. I was not antisocial in any way though. I happily engaged in conversations and I was not oblivious to how attraction and relationships worked. Although, I did not have enough self-awareness at the time to observe my own neediness, and thus got friendzoned a lot. I've been bullied pretty harshly until I was in about 9th-10th grade, when I started to respect myself more. Why am I saying all these things? Well, I haven't thought about this whole situation at all in the past 3-4 years. I'm starting to see that I did not let these things define me as a worthless human being or whatever other label you could attach to it. I did not let being bad at sports limit my possibility to achieve a great body. I used to be the fattest guy in my social circle. When I was about 14 years old, I started working out and I was also the weakest guy in the gym. I couldn't even push the empty olympic bar and neither could I curl 10 lbs dumbbells. People laughed, told me to give up, told me that I won't get any results. I encountered a lot of resistance, even from my parents, saying to cut the crap and go back to who I was before. But I did not listen to them. I knew that if I put in the effort, the payoff will come eventually. 5 years later, now I am proud to have a very healthy and strong body. 6 pack abs, 3D deltoids, increased vascularity and a sharp jawline. The whole package. Most of the guys in the gym envy me now and come to me for advice. This is not to brag, but to prove a point. I've pretty much achieved the fundamentals of what I wanted regarding my health and physical appearance. But, I know there is more work to be done, and I also can use the know how I gathered to help other people achieve the body they desire too. Remember, once people start to notice your real life results after a long investment of time, in anything, the same people that once ridiculed you will come to you for advice. Do not blame them. This is the nature of the process. You will encounter homeostasis, and the key is to recognize it as homeostasis and push forward until the resistance dissapears and you get to a new default level. This is just one aspect of the overarching situation. There are many more facets to this, but I will let that for another storytime. “The past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it.” -- Alan Moore