Goliath

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About Goliath

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  1. The best place for ego shedding is in the messy trenches of relationships. If youre all alone, there is hardly anything that irritates you, compared to being with a person that constantly triggers you. When youre all alone, you decide what is happening and when. In a relationship you have to find middle ways and compromise, and guess who doesnt like to back down on their positions? Ego. Who doesnt wanna love the other person unconditionally? Also ego. I was in a relationship that didnt suit me at all, and where i felt my boudaries where crossed many times, without me being able to really point it out, because from the outside it seemed like it was totally acceptable. But I found this really effective of shredding all the conditions i set up that the other person had to live up to. Ultimately I worked through it so far that i could actually watch my boundaries being crossed without resistance. And at that point I also decided that my lesson there was learned and I could leave to find a healthy relationship. Then I ended it. I dont know your feelings. But for me the best way of overcoming a crushingly painful loss is to get your mind distracted with HIGH consciousness activities. Activities that engage you and where you feel involved. Your mind is obsessively clinging to the past memories and whenever a discomfort arises it attempts to fill that gap with the old comforts such as being hugged or talking to your partner. Then you realise that that is no longer available and you kind spiral down and down. Thats why it is so important to engage the mind in high consciousness activities. Maybe start a new hobby. Also going in nature, I found is very effective. Being around people with whom you can solve problems you are interested in solving. The most painful way of dealing with this is being idle at home. That always made me feel like drowning in my pain. And I wouldnt give up on dating. Dont force a decision on this. Date when you feeling like dating. And dont think that there is no one like you or that you will never find a person who is on this journey again. This whole forum is filled with people who have the same kind of struggle. You will get through this!
  2. for me its is: unconditional love towards who ever stands in front of me and also for myself health and wellbeing gardening living off the grid (-ish), and being more or less independent from society romantic relationships being i have some interests in more "practical stuff" that actually earns money, but i wouldnt say it is an area that i really feel like mastering. i just want to be happy, cause the least amount of harm, live a simple life and help those who cross my path
  3. sorry, but i can absolutely not recommened agave nectar, like some people recommended. it is worse than white sugar. due to its composition and ratio of fructose to glucose etc. its just a kind of hyped more expensive product. the best sugar alternative in my opinion is xylitol !! it has antibacterial properties so it is very good for dental health (as opposed to normal sugar) you can actually use it for toothbrushing. and it also has some anticancer benefits. also it is a substance that is known to the body since the body produces it in small quantities. the downside is that it can act as a laxative if you eat a huge portion without introducing it to your diet step by step.
  4. from my experience with my gf: 1. Sometimes you will feel like you are living two lives. your self actualization might not be as supported by the other person as you hope, or you might get bored of their pace of actualization, so then you might do it all by yourself. Then you have the relationship for doing common activities and when youre alone you are doing the actualization stuff. This made me crave my alone time more and my gf felt like i didnt need her at all because i was doing so much on my own. And its hard doing this stuff together if the other person has no interest or curiosity in why you do all this. 2. imo the other person needs to understand why you are doing all this stuff, and even when they dont want to do any of it, they should at least understand how important it is for you and also support you in doing it, as well as giving you the time for that. 3. i think it can be fun. However watch out that you dont let the emotions go too high before you are exactly sure how this person works. If you are doing all these great improvements in your life, it is easy for them to fall in love with you, which in turn makes you more likely to do so as well. So watch out, this can backfire hard. Because once a commited relationship is established and you find out how incompatible you guys are it is extremely tricky and painful to leave the relationship. 4. From my experience this can be extremely frustrating. You love this person so deeply, but at the same time you are unable to share the things that are dear to you. I found myself stuck between my passions and my partner, unable to negotiate or give either of them up. 5. Yes! But this depends on the person. If the person is curious and open, and looking for better ways of doing things this could be great. But if the person thinks they have everything figured out or are simple too comfortable to consider their lifestyle for their own sake, it can also become very frustrating. Because you will see and imaginary version of them, how they COULD be if they were doing the self-development. You might fall in love with their potential instead of who they are actually. Now im in a very painful breakup. Because I cant reconcile my partner with my vision of my life and how i want to live. The lesson im taking from this, is that if youre gonna find a person who is not into self-actualization TAKE IT VERY SLOW. Get to know them , and let them get to know you. Let them know how important this stuff is to you. So that they know whats up with you. And also, dont rush finding a relationship. Chances are that if youre into self-actualization you are doing fine alone at the moment, so dont grab the first person in sight. Youre in this for the long run, I'd say you either find someone who is into self-help or someone who doesnt know about it but is very interested in what you are doing.
  5. @Shin thats a good one, I'll remember it !
  6. I think you should put yourself in and enviroment where you are having fun and there is a good chance of meeting people. THe activity should be fun tho, without you having to meet anybody, otherwise you just do it for the motive (girlfirend) and not for the activities sake. This might be easier said than done, but I would argure that it produces the best results. Also how this looks for you is completely up to you. My advice would be to look at all of your interests, write them down, and try to find groups in your area that do some kind of events. You then simply go to the events for the events sake (cuz the event is interesting to you!) and then you meet people by luck. And these people should all have something in common with you, so thats a good start...
  7. What are in your opinion the most important general qualities a person should have in a deep romantic relationship, in order for it to work in the LONG RUN?
  8. @Cjaryo listen to "matt kahns" talks from youtube while riding your bike in nature
  9. @Lauritz no way man, im also living near frankfurt Im all about psychedelics, nutrition, truth, and just being a pleasant human to be around btw how old are ya? im 20 now ^^
  10. A while ago I watched Leo's video about free will again, and something funny happened afterwards. I was just thinking about stuff but then the idea came up that all my thoughts are not actually "my", and that I dont really "make" them. They just happen. And after every thought I had, I noticed: "this thought was predetermined." I kept doing this for a while and suddenly this weird feeling came up, because I failed to find a "me". I pushed my identity out of my thoughts, by saying that thoughts are predetermined. I removed my control and claim over thoughts. And then suddenly there was no one there anymore. No one existed. There was still stuff going on, I saw people walking, I kept having thoughts. But it was as if "no one was home", not in me and not in others. The whole world was empty of a self. There was just appearance. And then the heaviest feeling of loneliness came over me: Other people dont exist, I dont exist. They are made out of "me" appearing in "me". There are no relationships to people, because there is no one to have relations. The feeling weared off after 30mins or so, but on the next day it happened again, shorter this time. However I was very busy with university at the time, and didnt have the time (and for some reason no motivation) to investigate it further. I only remembered it, because this morning I almost accidently did it again, and again I failed to find "me".
  11. I am extremely interested of the booklist and would like to purchase it. However I am unable to do so via the money that is already on my Paypal account. I dont want to link my bank account with Paypal. Is there a way to purchase the booklist without giving all your information to Paypal? Because somehow I cannot find an option to simply use my Paypal money instead of my bank account... Sorry if this topic doesnt belong in this forum...
  12. I can feel that too. Somehow I can also create a tingling sensation in my hands or feet, that I can move through my body.
  13. I think it can be very helpful to not masturbate. You will feel way better about yourself and have more energy and motivation to do just about anything. It's ok to do it in moderation but i think you should definitely quit porn. If you find it hard not to masturebate just try to get your attention to something else, be around people, and dont arouse yourself. Btw there is a great community on reddit called NoFap, you should check them out.