Jonson

It's weird to think that I ended the rats life, i feel like a killer.

@Simon Zackrisson I didn't intend to clickbait . For me it felt important. It's a living creature , just like a human being , i don't know . Sorry if I wasted your time.

It could have stayed alive for like 20-30 more minutes i guess . I'm not sure if I did the right thing or not, but it already happened. Thanks guys for responding so fast . If i think about what I would do if I were in that situation . I would chose the quick death , I'm really scared of dying slowly.

Guys here's what happened . It was just suffering and my dog even bit it a few times . It was dying slowly. I chose to end it . I picked up a huge rock, like 10 kg and I just let it fall on the rat. The rat died instantly. I don't know how to feel about it , I honestly just wanted to end his suffering . It was outside in the backyard , my dogs would have killed it anyways . I feel like I did the right thing , but I also feel like a killer .

VID_20180321_222653(0).mp4

There is no open vet at this hour, 10 pm.

VID_20180321_221920.mp4

@dorg what???! Seriously what should i do?

I see many self help channels on youtube , where people talk about passion, motivation and all that stuff. I'm just wondering what is there so much to talk about ? I see people getting successful by talking about how to be successful. I feel like many self help people just talk about all these things , but that's all they do, that's how they make their money ... they aren't actually solving world problems, if they really wanted to, they would learn a lot and then occupy a function where they can actually change practical stuff. Or when I'm seeing people saying that you should hustle , hustle for what ? For making motivational videos ? I'm not trying to criticize anyone , I'm just wondering why. When I see an inspirational video on youtube , with some clicheic background music , I'm like why should i be inspired ? Inspired to make some inspirational videos myself ? Because that's what the inspirational people do , they talk about inspiring others. It feels like a never-ending circle . And then I think like this : We are 7 billion people on earth , according to some website we have enough resources for 10 billion. Why don't we just redistribute them in an equal way ? We would all have enough . Why all this "hustle" ? Everyone should aim to automate the work that isn't fun. We should all just have fun and explore the world without having to "hustle". We should enjoy each other , get into the best shape possible and learn about stuff .. or just relax sometimes . Isn't that the best way of living ? To have fun and explore the most interesting places ? To meditate , to experiment with psychedelics , to make interesting art , to play , to enjoy each other . Sorry if I seem unintelligent or if I haven't structured my thoughts well , I hope you get the idea . I felt like I needed to get this out of my head.

@Leo Gura thanks for responding to me ??. I didn't try to say that inspirational videos are wrong or anything like that. I like inspirational videos, i also watch them sometimes. I just had these thoughts, just wanted to understand some things better, maybe. Idk @Ether this comment made me feel good for some reason :)) @Spinoza yeah, it's probably a very complicated topic and there are many factors to it.

Thank you guys , sorry for the late response

How do I know that other people perceive reality just like I do? How do I even know that they perceive reality at all and they're not just a fiction of my mind? Well than whatever you would respond would also just trick me into thinking that you guys exist as separate entities perceiving reality, even though I don't actually know it, because I am the one creating meaning out of your words. With all this I still believe that everyone exists as separate entities for some reason. I hope that reality doesn't just consist of my perception , lol, that would be weird. ?????

Here's something that I wanted to talk about. The thing is that I often feel weird when I go to a party, an event or when I have to talk to some girls that i do or do not know. But, at school, for example I'm super confident and I can talk to anyone (i'm the most confident in my class, i'm also very funny) . Maybe because i already know them well. They understand me well and i understand them too, so we have a very cool chemistry between us. I love my classmates. It feels like my confidence changes so much, depending on the environment and the people. For example : I was a bit drunk the other night and went to a club with two friends of mine, i met a girl and i even danced with her. It was ok, but then today I met her again and (she probably expected me to be charismatic and cool like i was in the club) . I don't know why but my confidence level dropped af and i could barely say something, it was awkward. I also noticed that when I feel awkward, speaking becomes very hard. It feels like my mouth-muscles are very tensed and I have a very bad pronunciation. The reason may also be that i'm tired. I also feel shitty when i have to talk to people who i'm not compatible with. Right now i'm at a techno party, sitting in a corner lol :)) I don't feel bad, just tired and not understood. Thanks in advance for your patience ???? Hope you have an amazing day .

@Shin yes i do, like ... daily, i was on nofap for 14 days until a week ago though, it was cool @NoSelfSelf

Lol how can i prove this :))

@Viking I also have this problem sometimes . I think it is because of the way you think about yourself. You think more about what others expect from you rather than what you want from your life. I think that in order to do something with passion you need to think about why you do it. And if it's a task that you must do , than still try to see how completing the task can help you. I feel like when I let go of my expectations and focus on the present moment , it just comes to me what I need to do and how I need to do it . I just watched this video and it helped me Good luck

What foods should a 17 year old male eat ? Should I eat meat ? Is it ok to eat meat in moderation ? My mom buys stuff that I think is healthy like : lens , beans , potato ... so she prepares normal kinds of meals. but sometimes she also buys cold meat stuff , like this : I have some acne and I want to get rid of it . I exercise sometimes . I'm pretty muscular , not buff , just fit , maybe a bit skinny. Any advice ? thanks

@JOEE That looks nice , I also eat lots of eggs :))

Thanks for your advice ! and thanks for taking the time and effort to respond I'll try it , thanks

I was thinking about this : I made myself a plan for 2018 , I wrote down what I want to achieve and I wrote down the habits i need in order to achieve those goals. But as I was writing these down , I had this thought that with all these habits I will have every day so organized , that i will miss out on interesting experiences or entertainment , relaxation because I'll have my daily rituals that I'll not want to break . I feel like if I structure everything than I won't be able to be spontaneous cause I'll have to do everything at specific times. For example if I plan to meditate everyday at 3 pm and one day I have the opportunity to go on a date with a girl or I have a great idea on drawing something cool , I'll have to choose meditation so i don't break the habit. I can plan free time in my schedule , but then having that free time every day in the same time interval , might become pretty robotic in a sense. Or going to sleep everyday at a specific time also feels pretty robotic to me. Maybe I say this because I haven't been too disciplined in my life , I was always chaotic . I meditated once 60 consecutive days or worked out 3 times a week for 3 months . These were my biggest disciplined "action-takings " . In my life for example : I would want to work on different projects and not necessarily having one single field that i master. Like I would want to make a film for like 1 year than become good at public speaking than i would learn to paint , maybe learn programing and automatize stuff in my life through different softwares . What do you think ? Now that i read what i just wrote i feel like disagreeing with my past self :)) I'll come back when i actually took the disciplined action for like 1 or 2 months and then I come back sorry

I also hate it :)) and then the ones who get rewarded are usually those who learn the formulas and just apply them in problem-solving , rather than understanding the mechanics, the logistics behind those formulas. This happens in every class , not just math : teachers telling "facts" based on their personal assumptions and based on their social conditioning . They also have this attitude of knowing it all . This happens to me sometimes too and I'm just wondering , how are they not interested in important fields like philosophy ,meditation, psychology , success ... they're more interested in clothing , trends , instagram popularity - not like that's bad or something ... I also care about that stuff but it's far less important than anything above - they kinda imagine that those things will make them happy :)) but not all of them , i also have like 2 much more open-minded very cool friends. But that's not even so important , you can still appreciate them , they probably have many other positive aspects too, other than critical thinking like sense of humor -- that's very important in my opinion . This is bullshit ! I also used to think like this a lot and sometimes i still feel like this but then i realize that i'm just wasting time . I'm also 17 and I used to tell myself that too , i had like a depressed faze when i was 15 cause my crush got a bf , i had this victim mindset ... since then ..i've talked to many amazing girls ,had a lot of fun ... i have grown a lot . I am so much better in social situations now - All it takes is just opening your mouth and saying what you want in the way that you want. Other people are not some kind of authority to decide if you're ok or not. They all have their own insecurities . Girls don't care about how you look , they care about how you make them feel . Share your good vibe with them. search for RSD on youtube and take action . 3 weeks ago i set the goal to kiss a girl , wrote it down ... a week later i kissed a good looking girl at a party - okay i drank alcohol ... but whatever i still completed my goal i'm also addicted to masturbation , i do it daily , but it's normal to have these urges , maybe stop watching porn . I also need to quit lol . I'll try nofap for a month in 2018 . I also used to post long texts like this :))) not to long ago :)) telling my whole life story - all my problems :)) i think that you've got this ! MEDITATE . I did it for 60 days this summer . i'll do it it everyday in 2018 it really helps even if it's frustrating or uncomfortable (really -it's not) sometimes it made me more disciplined . Get out of victim mindset . I wish you luck take 100% responsibility for your life and also chill out . This is also me giving advice for myself , cause i also need it a lot :))) maybe more than you . have a nice day Fuck my grammar , from Europe . I need to learn to express myself .

It's long but not that long... Whenever I watch these actualized videos I feel a need to share it with everybody . I feel like all my past intuitions and questionings are kind of validated . I always try to share these videos with others , but they tend to dismiss me by rationalizing , and saying that i shouldn't philosophize that much , i should be more realistic. For example in school , I try to convince my teachers that the way they teach is not leading to understanding but rather memorization of "facts" ... and that the proper way would be to tell us that we have all these systems based upon concepts that people came up with to help us in conceptualizing reality. They should be honest . I probably just want my ideas to be validated by others because i'm unsure because i haven't actually done the work - i am not accepting reality. A few days and I'm 17 ... I'm probably addicted to masturbation , i mean i do it daily once ... i don't know for sure if that's a problem ... and i am not practical enough in my life ... I haven't had a girlfriend although i had many occasions : I have a lot of attributes which make girls like me ... but i just had this fear , that I am different ... and that they are living in a bubble of stupid assumptions ... another problem that i faced was the different humor that they had ... it felt so normie-like , average , not creative . And usually when i see people making jokes ... they are not really laughing ... just like haha in a superficial way ... I like it when people can't stop laughing , i don't think that laughing about "retarded shit" makes people stupid . I think people laugh when they hear , see .. something unexpected ... so when i see people laughing at normie jokes ... i feel like they are really limited . And there is a girl in my class ... who i really really like even after 1 and a half year after she got a boyfriend ... she has kind of everything ... i feel like we really connected emotionally and intellectually on a deeper level , but i was too much of a pussy back then to actually tell her how i felt ,i mean she knew back then , and she knows now , but i didn't initiate a relationship so she got a boyfriend . A boyfriend that is similar to me .. someone i would hang out with . OO boi - I know I should just find another girl , watch PUAs , focus on learning , implementing habits and detaching from the conditioning ... I've tried to make lots of plans on how i'm how i'm going to become a life master , master in everything... and conceptually it is still there and even practically i had many SUCCESSES in being social , smart , implementing mediation , etc.. But i still don't have girlfriend . Any advice or perspective on my story ? thanks Also i am very chaotic in general .. although I'm trying to put it all together somehow. from Europe REPLY

Thank you for your response Yes I know there is no strong reason for making this topic , and now that think about it , I'm really sorry if i wasted your time I was very selfish , only thinking about myself :)) me me me ... thoughts thoughts thoughts /// worry worry worry ... Thanks much love i honestly mean it lol Bye !

I am not qualified to talk about this because i am not well educated , but if you are than please enlighten me :)) I was thinking about this : Are there enough material resources in the world to distribute them in an equal way to every human so that they don't need more ? I don't say that people wouldn't want to be competitive or to seem superior to each other but that they could do it through their talents and intellect ... not through their possessions of material things.. and if it is so ... could we build robots to replace the mechanical work that people have to do ... and everyone could just focus on each other , on the present moment , on their relationships , on science , on personal development , on art , on fitness , on researching , on enlightenment, on being happy, on leading a healthy life , on studying , on having fun ... without worrying about financial stability , without constantly needing to do stuff in order to survive ? ... Could people build a system that empowers our highest consciousness ? Could that ever be achieved ? Could that be a life purpose ? to try and build such a system where open-mindedness is empowered ? And if so , if it is possible , are people actually trying to achieve this ? Or ... there always has to be a balance... and there's no such thing as "everybody's happy" ? I'm 16 so I should probably study a lot first .. cause i know very little about how things work ... but I would like to hear what you think ?