Afonso

Is it the same as seeing it just as arbitrary phenomena without any truth?

@Leo Gura Since I've started doing this, it seems like my mind and body function without my intentional control. It scares the fuck out of me. I mean, here I am, now, doing stuff and it takes "effort" to create the illusion that I am doing "effort" in doing stuff. But stuff just happens, mind just does it thing and body just does it thing. I can't explain it... but it's both amazing and frightening. For example, I don't really know what it's going to happen next. I can sense that the control I think I have over my body/mind is nothing but illusory. Still, sometimes I do feel in control but that is also dissipating. Is this how the process unfolds? I feel like I'm watching my life unfold

For me, the biggest transition was with the help of 1) Meditation 2) Exposure to a completely social environment for 1 week, every day 24 hours a day - always with people The meditation part helps you focus on the present moment. Since I've detached myself from thoughts and the inner dialogue in my head, I can really focus on interactions and therefore I'm much more spontaneous. Spontaneity is key. Second, I think that a completely social environment for a medium period of time helps as well, to remove those layers and filters that keep you from being spontaneous and genuine. It also helps if you have a relatively high level of awareness, so that way you can "watch" yourself interacting with people and be aware of all the tensions, thought patterns and emotional buttons that you have. That helped me a lot as well. So I have never been really social or could easily connect with people, BUT, since last week was over (1-week vacation in Barcelona with ~3000 people my age) my social skills have boosted so much, I can't even describe to you. I can now so easily connect with people and it is just an automatic thing. I say this as a previous introverted. For me, the key was massive social reference with lots of awareness. Now, I'm super social, weird huh? Anyways, I really like it because I can take out the joy of friendships and interactions. EDIT: Because, really, friendship, in my point of view, is just a synonym for a deep emotional intimacy that you build upon multiple social interactions.

@Leo Gura I've been meditating for 6.5 months now. I just started Self-Inquiring recently, but for the past 3 to 4 days I have broken identification with "the voice". I no longer identify with it and see it just as thoughts. Now, it takes me a lot of conscious effort to speak the words in my head when typing/writing/reading, which means that I can write and read a lot faster because I don't go through the mental process of speaking the words. Also, it's now very rare to find myself in "Speaking-To-MySelf-Day-Dream", if you know what I mean. Is this an important step in my spiritual journey? I want your validation. Give it to me

I do that to show dominance and to show that I'm attracted

THANK YOU LEO

hot babes everywhere

Since the past month, I've noticed times where I feel like no one is in control... the body and mind are just working automatically. Sometimes something goes out of my mouth, or think something or feel something and I'm just left like "Who the hell is doing all this stuff?". The distinction between thought and awareness is increasing. Awareness of my emotions is rising... I am so much more in touch with my emotions. Thoughts are much more tangible. Since the past week I can successfully turn my attention completely away from negative thoughts and it makes me smile because it's just random phenomena, I'm not responsible for "generating" the thoughts. I wanted to share my experience with you. What are your thoughts on this? It's amazing............... And it has only been 6 months. thank you so muchhhhhhhhhh this has been the most important habit that I've installed in my life I'm so grateful

Since I've been meditating, this phenomena keeps occurring: I'm sleeping and then, all of the sudden, I realize I'm sleeping and open my eyes. I can't move, yet I get visual input. I usually see strange things. For example, once I saw the outline of a human body who I felt was my mother. Today, I saw myself in the reflection of the TV monitor, moving and waving my hands furiously (yet I was still in the first person view). I can get out of this state in 20~30 seconds if I try, which is what I usually do because it's so scary. I've heard that this phenomena relates to sleep paralysis but it seems so much stranger than just that. Any thoughts on this? Thank you!

I've been meditating everyday, sometimes twice a day, for 5 months straight. However, I still feel resistant when it's time to meditate. It's subtle, but the resistance is still there. Does it ever go away? Or will I always feel this resistance to meditate?

For how long have you been doing this?

That looks like a good way to see things.

Shit, way to go! I wish you the best!

I'd love to hear other perspectives on this topic

Currently my meditation consists of focusing my attention on the present experience. I don't try to control anything, nor think anything in particular. I just focus on being aware and not distracted and sucked in by thought. Is Meditation on a Passage equally beneficial and useful for all the long term gains and also to dissolve the ego and experience all the amazing stuff from standard meditation? If so, wouldn't it be more useful to meditate on a passage because it would affect more deeply the core parts of our personality? Is this even true?

Yeah, this used to happen to me the first times I experimented with meditating late at night. For me, I'd be very alert and aware. Not thinking about anything in particular, but just being.

I've read the book also, but this is not contemplation. Contemplation has a goal, to discover something or to gain some insight. This here is different, I think. It's really about Meditation... on a Passage. Comes from a book called Conquest Of Mind.

Hey, it's Afonso, not Alfonso. I wonder what @Leo Gura has to say about the subject. The quote is from a book that he recommends.

5-MeO

Sitting down for 40 minutes without crawling my eyes out Going somewhere without my phone going to the gym, exercising idk

I've always had problems in the human realm ever since I was a child. My dad was always angry and I tried hard to please him and not make him upset. I was a big mamma's boy and was often seeking attention from her. Early in my childhood, I didn't get along with people. I either craved attention or got into fights and heated discussions with people. I never had a real friend. Whenever I had one, somehow I would mess things up or do something mean to him. I always got into trouble with people in school, extra-curricular activities, holidays activities, whatever. I spent thousands of hours alone, in the computer, since I was three years old. I used to spend lots of hours in "social" games where you are a little character and you can interact with other people. I was often rejected and got into trouble with the other players (I know it sounds silly). Basically, I never had successful, meaningful or enjoyable relationships with people for long periods of time. Nowadays, I spend most of my time alone. I'm not as violent or as trouble-making as I used to be. However, I still find that some patterns are deep rooted in my behavior with people. For example, I always have the impulse to seek attention. It's like this craving that fills my entire system. It reveals itself in telling a story about what I've done or accomplished, some silly joke, some comment or opinion. I'm extremely aware of it, even though it comes out spontaneously. I can't seem to really connect with people because I either crave too much attention and push them away, I can't make them comfortable, I lose interest or begin resenting them. It's really crazy how this happens (I don't know how it happens). In addition, I feel drained after longer than 30-min interactions (and I can sense that the other person feels like this too and we start losing interest in each other). Basically, I can't seem to form relationships with people. I have always ignored this issue, isolating myself in the computer, or being a lone-wolf but it eventually comes bite my in the ass, as Leo likes to say. The problem is, I'm not even certain what the problem really is. Sometimes I think it's attention seeking, other times lacking of social skills, other times trying too hard, other times not trying enough, other times being an introvert... Let me clarify that I'm not shy. I can interact with people pretty well and get along in social gatherings. But I have a really hard time making friends last or relationships that go somewhere. If you talked to me, you probably wouldn't expect me to have any social problems. I have hope that it's possible to make friendships and relationships stronger and more meaningful. I'm just unaware of how to develop myself to get there. I thought of immersing myself in social situations for, let's say, 1 whole month - interacting with people all day (maybe in a job or paid summer activities). Would this be a reasonable and worthy way of improving this aspect of my life? Should I expect the problem to evaporate with my meditation habit? What books or advice you guys have for me? Thanks.

@Venus I did two weeks on Living Consciously but then I got lazy and skipped. Changes don't happen that fast, because the actions you take will boost your self-esteem only little by little. If you make them part of your life, you can just keep boosting your self-esteem to higher and higher degrees, even though the progress is slow.

Since I've started meditating, I've become more and more aware of my thoughts. I have a thought pattern that is CONSTANTLY running on my mind. It just won't stop! Every time I check to see what my mind is up to, the following thought pattern emerges. Thoughts about making people laugh. Thoughts about being funny. Thoughts about cool things that I could do that would look awesome in other people's eyes. Thoughts about how future events can play so I'll be seen as awesome by other people. Thoughts about how old events could have played so that I didn't look like a fool. Thoughts about things I could say in future interactions and dates. Thoughts about what I shouldn't have said. Thoughts about what others will say to me. Thoughts about what I imagine others will think / thought. Thoughts about what someone thought or said that was about me. I'm so aware that 60% of my thoughts are of these types. I've already written everything I could on my journal, I know I have these thoughts and I'm aware of them. I've even done research to find out how to clear these thought storms. However, I'm struggling. I hope someone can give me any practical advice. I know that this "people-pleasing" mentality is hiding my authentic self. It sure doesn't feel like I want to please people. But I'm aware that my thoughts dictate my actions, and therefore, I'm actually seeking to please people and gain approval.

They're usually pretty quick. I'm not strict about it either. I doubt they take more than 3/4 minutes. The hardest part is jumping into cold water which is why I do it. To gain Will-Power and control over my mind. Also, my skin is very dry so, if the water is just a little warmer, my skin doesn't respond well.

I've set this challenge to an every-day thing. I started taking cold showers on the summer of last year and never stopped since then. I occasionally don't take cold showers if I'm sick or something.