Ellonek

I totally agree with this and Ted Kacsinzkys. If you are interested in this topic further make sure to check out "Remaking Society" by Murray Bookchin.

I feel like this a lot but I just keep going because "it is not my time yet"... I know it sounds deterministic but I genuinely believe death will come naturally when the time is right according to my higher self. So I just hang in there until my time comes. I hope you hold on too until natural exit.

I think being content is more vital than happiness. I hope at least you are content so you could embrace happiness better when it comes your way.

The pain I would leave behind for my family. That is the only reason I can find to be alive. Not that I am depressed I just feel no other tethers keeping me on this Earth when something much better(At least I think) awaits on the other side of the veil...

I don't know how heartfelt it was but I was impressed with her when she said she forgives the attacker. That might be to garner political sympathies but still it was the right message.

Understanding is secondary to experience, sometimes we get it twisted... We should value understanding as far as it refines our experience, understanding for the sake of understanding is a dead end imo.