Roland

https://www.wissensmanufaktur.net/ for those german viewers

@reez @Lynnel thx for your elaborate replies on my long post. I will try to implement your ideas and thought patterns and hopefully report back positivly someday soon Regards

@Lynnel First of all thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Before I ask my specific questions I'd first like to describe the state and situation I am currently in. I know it's a long post, but I could imagine that especially nowadays, where many people have to move to another city for work reasons, others are in at least a similar situation. I've recently moved (15 months ago) to a relativly small city (100k citizens) for work reasons. I like my job (PHD student at university) but I can't really figure out how to make it work with women here. I probably should add that I don't really have much of a social circle either. Two years ago I somehow managed to pull a pretty hot girl in a club and we had an amazing sex affair for like 6-7 months, but this made me really complacent and I restartet playing video games and watching porn. I thought if I was able to pull a hot girl once, I will easily be able to do so in future again. In retrospect that was of course ridiculously naive, otherwise I wouldn't have been solo for a bit more than two years now. Anyway, I've pretty much wasted my first 12 months here, because I was either working or playing video games on the weekends. I've stopped the video games for 4 months now and I actually don't even miss them, but I kinda realize that I am in quite a bad spot with considering the fact that I was living in a town for one year and still don't have anyone to go out with. I must add though, that I generally don't feel depressed or lonely and I also don't want to "waste time" with friend circles I don't consider as valuable or inspirational. I guess if I had stayed in my home town (which was at least a big city) I also would have had to build a new social circle, so I don't really care too much. Work colleagues are nice but most of them already have a family and the "intereset gap" is simply too big. I am 27, consider myself actually quite good looking (doing 3-4 times sports during the week) and I really don't think of myself as a social misfit, although I gradually realize that I seriously have to catch up on a few things. Even when practially staying at home for like 12 months, there were like four or five situations I could swear I was receiving an inviting smile from some gorgeous girl (the two times I was visiting a party /club) but I neither had the balls nor the practice/knowledge to do anything about it. I am into this actualization stuff for quite a long time now (4 months) and I am still really positive about it, but I still lack practice in this whole dating stuff. Some of my specific questions are: 1.) Night time: How would it look like? Should I even start going out alone in the evening in such a small town or will it be too suspicious once people realize that this "guy" is always wandering alone through nightlife. Here are also no big clubs. There's literally only one or two rooms in most clubs or bars and once I've entered and don't make something happen within the first 5 minutes (e.g. starting a positive converastion with somebody new) it's kinda game over (at least in my perception). It's also not that anonymous as in a big city, where you can literally meet new people all the time. I would have the opportunity to drive to a large city on the weekends, tho. 2.) Day time: How am I supposed to deal with the "relatively" small volume situation. I know it easily comes across like an excuse, but I am somehow afraid that I will blow my moment, once I make myself visible to everybody. It similar to the nighttime situation. I also can't really imagine places where I would meet a lot of women. Of course I can enter some sports club (which I already did) but the volume here is also relatively small and I can't keep switching sports clubs every two weeks. 3.) How important is the social circle to be successful at this and can I get better at this just on my own? I know that building up a social circle is also really important and I am really working on this, but as I already mentioned I don't want to have "just some friends", where I waste my time. Before stupidly drinking alcohol somewhere and talking shit I'd rather sit at home to be honest. I know this is quite judgemental but I really don't feel like making any progress with this normal "socializing". Anyway, I am working on this, but I would prefer getting better with women "simultanously" instead of first having to build up a social circle and so on. 4.) As a result of the beforementioned questions : How could a practice routine in this situation look like? Of course I realize that somebody experienced wouldn't have any problems with the issues mentioned above, but I feel like it's rather a bad starting situation for practicing. On the other hand I have seen so many beautiful girls with ugly boyfriends here, that I sometimes even wonder if it's not actually easier to hook up with some cute girl in a small city. I also should mention that I just want to get on a decent level where I can at least handle those situations, when some beautiful girl smiles at me, so that I miss less opportunities and where I can have some intimacy again, be it an affair or a serious relationship. I wouldn't even have the time because work/research is priority number one. That's why I would already be satisfied with a moderate advancement in this direction, let's say some girlfriend or affair in 2016. And one last question just out of couriosity: 5.) What is the success rate for an experienced PUA for having sex with a girl he approaches. I was just wondering, because maybe I would have to reconsider my career ;-) Regards, Roland

@Lynnel First of all thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Before I ask specific questions I'd first like to describe the state and situation I am currently in. I know it's a long post, but I could imagine that especially nowadays many other people are in at least a similar situation. I've recently moved (15 months ago) to a relativly small city (100k citizens) for work reasons. I like my job (PHD student at university) but I can't really figure out how to make it work with women here. I probably should add that I don't really have much of a social circle either. Two years ago I somehow managed to pull a pretty hot girl in a club and we had an amazing sex affair for like 6-7 months, but this made me really complacent and I restartet playing video games and watching porn. I thought if I was able to pull a hot girl once, I will easily be able to do so in future again. In retrospect that was of course ridiculously naive, otherwise I wouldn't have been solo for a bit more than two years now. Anyway, I've pretty much wasted my first 12 months here, because I was either working or playing video games on the weekends. I've stopped the video games for 4 months now and I actually don't even miss them, but I kinda realize that I am in quite a bad spot with "living in a town for one year and still not having anyone to go out with". I must add though, that I generally don't feel depressed or lonely and I also don't want to "waste time" with friend circles I don't consider as valuable or inspirational. I guess if I had stayed in my own town (which was at least a big city) I also would have had to build a new social circle, so I don't really care too much. Work colleagues are nice but most of them already have a family and the "intereset gap" is simply too high. I am 27, consider myself actually quite good looking (doing 3-4 times sports during the week) and I really don't think of myself as a social misfit, although I gradually realize that I seriously have to catch up on a few things here. Even when practially staying at home for like 12 months, there were like four or five situations I could swear I was receiving an inviting smile from some gorgeous girl (the two times I was visiting a party /club) but I neither had the balls nor the practice/knowledge to do anything about it. I am into this actualization stuff for quite a long time now (4 months) and I am still really positive about it, but I really lack practice in this whole dating stuff. Some of my specific questions are: 1.) Night time: How would it look like? Should I even start going out alone in the evening in such a small town or will it be too suspicious once people realize that this "guy" is always wandering alone through nightlife. Here are also no big clubs. There's literally only one or two rooms in most clubs or bars and once I've entered and don't make something happen within the first 5 minutes (e.g. starting a positive converastion with somebody new) it's kinda game over. It's also not that anonymous as in a big city, where you can literally meat new people all the time. But, I would have the opportunity to drive to a large city on the weekends at least. 2.) Day time: How am I supposed to deal with the "relativly" small volume situation. I know it easily comes across like an excuse, but I am somehow afraid that I will blow my moment, once I make myself visible to everybody. It similar to the nighttime situation. I also can't really imagine places where I would meet a lot of women. Of course I can enter some sports club (which I already did) but the volume ofcourse here is relativly low and I can't keep switching sports clubs every two weeks. 3.) How important is the social circle to be successful at this and can i get better at this completly on my own? I know building up a social circle is also really important and I am really working on this, but as I already mentioned I don't want to have "just some friends". Before stupidly drinking alcohol somewhere and talking shit I'd rather sit at home to be honest. I know this is quite judgemental but I really don't feel like making any progress with this normal "socializing". Anyway, I am working on this, but I would prefer getting better with women "simultanously" instead of first having to build up a social circle and so on. 4.) How would a practice routine in this situation look like? Of course I realize that somebody experienced wouldn't have any problems with the issues mentioned above, but I feel like it's a rather bad starting situation for practicing. On the other hand I have seen so many beautiful girls with ugly boyfriends here that I sometimes even wonder if it's not actually easier to hook up with some cute girl in a small city. I also should mention that I just want to get on a decent level where I can at least handle those situations, when some beautiful girl smiles at me, so that I miss less opportunities and where I can have some intimacy again, be it an affair or a serious relationship. I wouldn't even have the time because work/research is priority number one. That's why I would already be satisfied with a moderate advancement in this direction, let's say some girlfriend or affair in 2016. And one last question just out of couriosity: 5.) What is the success rate for an experienced PUA for having sex with a girl he approaches. I was just wondering, because maybe I would have to consider my career path again ... Regards, Roland PS: Damn this was supposed to go into the "general faq"-thread. Can this be deleted and moved elsewhere?