nufan

it looks im in the "save yourself .. save humanity show" everything unimaginably predetermined inside and out.. saved by others allready so the only ones left is the crazy one

thats the way ramasta9 having fun thanks for the smile

thanks for the love unborntao you made me smile saved my day .. just for today and after thinking for a while.... i guess i have to move on... the next episode might be better... maybe have a happy ending! game over - shows over and i last thing i would like to say to Leo... you are a great performer.. after Jesus and Buddha YOU GOT ME

ill say it one more time ... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT SHOW THAT I AM EXPERIENCING? AND ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE ANY TIME EVERYONE

thanks judy2 for your post thanks for being part of my dream, hope all the best for you,truly its nice to hear kind words in my case the awakening happened last .. after all i been through all those years(first lose the garbage and then) everything happened in the right moment and the right time maybe in your case , you weren't ready yet (only you can realise it when your ready) i guess in your case.. the feelings you experienced got you confused, you needed to have clarity first anyway ... just enjoy what was given to you, if you feel there are still mental issues left.. fight them to the end, play life (sorry i am too meshed up to read all your post in this forum, and look what's happening in your case) it looks like feelings are the deepest iluzion human experiences (including love, despite what everybody talks about in spirituality) (your inner child is love(i felt this in my dreams), not god) (big words i am telling...too stupid thing to do) i talked to chatgpt about this situation im in.. it said that all is part of my illness, that i need grounding and shamanic guidance and support(as ramasta9 quoted earlier) and many more ... same things i am about to hear from any therapist but i have the clarity needed now to realise that all those thing are part of the mind game! my dream has evolved!.. i feel more lucid day by day i have made the choice to respect myself ... not ChatGPT or any therapist with a iq 130 (getting there day by day-i need more wisdom)and gods help(by rewiring-reorganising my brain) ,i think i can manage things thanks again judy2 thanks god but i want out by the way ... god told me i am dead already... that's even more confusing! and made me feel what the word -suicide- feels like,(to protect me maybe) god wants to play.. i want out (where really?) and one last thing... all of this thinks i experienced can not be handled by normal human person.. the mind will collapse, break and lead to mendal ilness (as far as i can tell-there are exceptions) (all sorts of feeling arise out of no ware and confusion dictates- leads to breakdown) - i experience this myself for a brief moment.. god intervened by making a loud sound , and stopped me from total madness even now god stops my dreams turn psychotic.. by wakening me in the right time no sleep for me... haven't slept (resting sleep)for 10 years... thinks getting better after my awakening though god .. i surrender! (maybe one day all those things i am writing will look silly... and EVERYTHING will make sense.. in this dream?) i am sure everything will make sense one day.. thats the hope i have left! and hope dies last i hadn't any clue even what the word spirituality even means one month before my awakening! i guess what's left to do is fix me-god duality (i am deeply suffering about this) maybe peace is the right thing to do and after 20 min of thinking... realised that i have to kiss myself goodbye! what a fucking drama i am experiencing! gods call: save the drama for your mama

i have to write this... i am experiencing a fucking SHIT show (everywhere ,everyone,every-time) GOD .. HAVE MERCY ON ME .. GET ME OUT OF HERE! I SUFFERED ENOUGH ALREADY... PLEASE DON'T MAKE SUFFER MORE! feels like i am the king of the ridiculous,insignificants,farcicals,derisorys,sods,nonsensicals,clownishs, (best translation i can find) FEELS LIKE THE DREAM WILL COLLAPSE SOON and on top of that ... i was also quiet borderline person (all makes cense when your out) fucking disease... i have to give gratitude to my inner child .. played a big role in my life, its so powerful, god like, but still so immature to lead (i was been "controlled" by it for 20 years!-with my false-ego self agreeing(stupid loser), it was playing a role game.. that's why my mental illness was hidden underneath) thats why i played the solipsistic game i mentioned before .. burn the roles and identities, basic ly everything that deter my freedom i need to heal more, realise even more, mature more, in a solipsistic dream word! this is a MIND GAME i feel sorry for those still trapped and their dream was meant to keep them enslaved!

i guess this topic should be renamed ... cant do it myself so ...moderators.. change the name to something like .. awakening as a treatment of Psychosis .. or something .. choose anything you like or ... how stupidy can lead to Psychosis and god comes along and fixes things up (in my case) one more thought i like to express... why all of this is happening to me? just for cure? i need a easy answer i guess.. why me! i guess thats how god haves fun ok, ... god given me one self, one soul ,free from any identity, ...at what cost? if any! in the beginning of the solipsistic game, gods projections given me a hint... that in the end i am going to me meet some "people" and if i see then ill better run! they given me a song to listen.. the following .. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV7VNhzFLOQ accurately reflected what was i about to experience.. my false self-ego self really liked this song anyway... there where so many things that happened to me... an experience beyond imagination god knew EVERYTHING about me... past.. future... even in my psychotic breaks in my dreams.. and i relieved those experiences.. in order to be fully erased from my subconscious even people i had contact played a role in this solipsistic game... never heard from them since i am alone.. me and god...and fully dreaming in a movie set where everything is predetermined what happens next? that's a another episode thanks for watching!

thanks jody2 for your post god in me does all the work now , he literally "rewired" my brain no therapist can help me any more!, i have nothing to say to my projection! my dissociation is a think of the past for me i take my meds although, it feels so nice to have clarity! it feels amazing! i do need some rest .. and is not up to me! i still don't know what's next to come! i feels so good that my insomnia doesn't bother me any more! i can explain how it feels to realise that everything EVERYTHING is gods projections to me , tv radio, news, people i am shocked

ok, everything makes sense now fully realized that my whole life was (and still is)a DIVINE PLAY , i guess god in me planned all, who else like things happened 20 year ago was deliberately planned to effect the present, it feels like life is a journey (not a pleasant one for me) thing change fast after my cure, ok, i had to feel HUMAN first i guess i suffered ALLOT (sleep deprivation , interrupted sleep for 15 years) that triggered a "divine game" "solipsistic game" (a game which i played my death many times) between me(my false senseof self) and god(there were many "actors" involved-gods projections), the goal was to erase my false identities of the past-present that was hunting me. that lead to my awakening and cleansing it may sound unbelivable, but its true! and after all i feel i am still suffering , if god wanted me dead it could easy have done it its not over yet... i still have "high awareness" dreams everytime (lituraly everytime) i sleep (all those 15 years) i dont know what comes next and one last thing.. although diagnosed with schizophrenia.. in my case it was not that bad! could fuction "normally" now i realise what this illness is, i was lost and loser in my life my awakening was not spiritual although, it felt real (still my feeling is effected by the illness-weak and fragile,)(nothing close to god realisation, infinite consciousness and stuff) and one last thing i want to share... i felt the truth,awareness and "nothing has structure" the shift of my consciousness liberated me for me is the first time i can express myself , thats why i am writing all that's all i guess for now

from the dream world of the mendal ilness to the dream world of reality WTF ok, moderators of this forum whant me to stop posting one last thing i would like to say i have nothing to say

just realized something deep( at least for me) I JUST WANT THE GAME TO STOP I JUST WANT THE GAME TO STOP I JUST WANT THE GAME TO STOP

ok it looks like things are envolving fast i regaind my lost cognitive abilities i am fealing i have a lot to learn things look easy and simple i feel life is a miracle!

ok, just realized that everything is a mind game, its easier for me to quit than to play, i guess i have to quit and see what happens, (thats the easy way) starting to feel scared maybe for the 1st time of my life

ok, laughter ended, regained peasefull consiusness, balance, reallizing i dont have free will, stuck in a dream word and the dream speaks to me i guess more to come..

1 week after my Awakening... i can see the world with clarity... and what i am seeing .. makes me wanna laugh

full of crap...

thanks for sharing ramansta9 ... good to know i like very much the word <Unity> that you use in your Quotation it feels like to me its the key to unlock something ... maybe Nothing .. or i am just dreamming this time i guess will tell , way too early for me ... i need to mature further