universe

Are you trying to make everything right, listen and accommodate for a woman and then react negatively when she doesn't give you what you want? If yes, that is the typical nice guy behaviour that will bring you nothing with girls and is also really high on the scale as far as manipulation goes. First get out of the victim mentality. Take 100% responsibility. Sure, your childhood might not have been in your favour from what you said. But you have been dealt this hand, so now it's your responsibility to play it right. Don't blame the girls, don't blame society. Everyone has their weights to carry, in the end it's what makes us unique. Second, learn to integrate your emotions. This is important to let go of your emotional needs. We all have many needs and they roughly boil down to: Need for acceptance Need for control Need for protection Need for oneness/seperateness It's ok to have them to a degree but if they are too strong they can limit your ability to connect with people and they will definitely make your life miserable (as you won't be able to fulfil them anyways). Imagine talking to someone who has 1 of those 5 needs very high. Go through each one of them. Not very fun to talk to right? Also makes it easy for predators to manipulate you. The first one makes you needy for validation. If you have the second you would be very perfectionist. Third one blockes you from doing anything. And the last two make you want to belong because you feel isolated and you will push back intimacy because you are afraid of being close and losing yourself. Cick the link above and use the Sedona Method to get those needs to a normal level in which you will have way less problems building connection and finding meaningful authentic relationships.

I got that, I was adding to that some practical tips for dealing with the situation. Not talking about this forum but society in general, everyday life. We can asses the problems of society and the problematic childhood girls and boys endure. Collective shadows and what not. But in the end, from the perspective of someone looking to date and find their best possible match, who is triggered by his dates. It does them no good to wait until his/her dates start integrating their shadows. Instead, by doing their own shadow work, they can learn the dance, embrace themselves, integrate their masculine & feminine side, have fun dates with deep emotional connections and intimacy - right now. You are the creator. Every person is beautiful. Thats my perspective and it comes with all the biases I have from my gender and the country I live in

Location, Location, Location! Don't be surprised to meet party folks at a party. Look up some self-improvement-, meditation- or yoga groups. It will get better as you get older. Also look at how you feel about your future plans. Maybe your girlfriends just mirrored your own doubts and insecurities surrounding them?

@Emerald Yes I understand, men and women both have their triggers and dissatisfactions when it comes to dating and relationships. It's easy to succumb and get paralyzed by the sheer brutality that is survival. That is why many people start to complain and fall into a victim mentality. And I understand, there is a lot of unfuckery to do with how our society is structured right now. Learn to dance. Because, after all, you are the dance!

Locked. Please keep the discussion in this thread only. ❤️ edit: Unlocked because the old one is locked. But here is the link to it.

That is the beauty of this place. No one hides behind masks and communication is quite direct (also Leos's videos on those topics). I don't remember where I heard that before but basically, tell a group of men that there is a woman in a luxury sports car just arriving in front of her big house to park. What would be the first question the men would ask? "And what does she look like?". Tell the same to a group of woman but instead there is now a man arriving in his Ferrari. Heading into his villa. What would the woman ask? "And what does he do? Who is he?". Of course not everyone will ask the same question but masculine and feminine are different. And both are beautiful and magical in their own way. The misunderstanding happens because we are biased in our respective polarity. That is why some woman have a hard time understanding that it's not just intelligence and comfort but even more appearence and sex that are so important to man. And some man have a hard time to understand that it's not just looks and status that count but even more confidence and connection that are important to woman as a baseline. And I agree with you and @soos_mite_ah , there are thousands of other factors for both man and woman to improve on, in order to find their dream partner if they whish. It's not that all woman and man are fixated on these one two three for five qualities and everyone who isn't born with them is out of luck. If you don't attract the right partners it is 100% in your power to change that. That also means you have no one else to blame other than yourself if it doesn't work out.

You can develop yourself as a man even while holding a relationship. No excuses. You are doing it right now.

Nothing wrong with this kinda thing. Maybe you are both a little casual. Only you know what you are feeling and you are able to ask her how she feels. Go Meta.

I definitley understand what you mean and have experienced it myself. The thing is they might not change. But you will change. Perspective is everything. The question is how willing are you to change? Can you let go of the soos_mite_ah with all her limiting beliefs, grief and insecurities? Do you want to?

@machiavelli good, don't take anything said here for granted. Only trust direct experience.

Tell her that you are doing a meditation retreat and don't use your phone there. Don't answer your phone there. She will learn. It's important to learn how to set boundaries. If you do, this magical thing happens, where people conform to your boundaries. Don't be sad about her or that she will worry about you. Worrying like this does no good to anyone. And even if you do answer the phone, her feelings won't change. There is nothing you can do to help her situation and constant worries. She has to grow out of it by herself.

There is not much to do about it, normally it doesn't happen anyways. Sometimes people in groups can act weird. If they tried mobbing you they were looking to get some kind of emotional reaction out of you. Best not to react and not give them what they want.

I agree, if you already planned your sex schedule before going on a date you are thinking too much and are likely neurotic about it. Sex is not something you plan, you have to be in the mood for it! Now if a deep emotional connection and security is needed for you to get in the mood I get that and it's totally normal. Maybe instead of saying "I plan to wait" just say you are not in the mood, if the topic comes up or if he makes a move. If it doesn't come up don't talk about it.

Do it. Many young people make the mistake of valueing money too high. Your time is the most valueable resource your have. If you can work on your life purpose from a van then do it. Otherwise find ways to both fund your lifestyle and find time to invest in your life purpose. Also sometimes I see people always complaining about not having enough time. This mindset can be detrimental as it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and it's not very inspiring.

I don't understand the ending of your story. But sounds like this was their way of flirting with you.

In other news there even exist man who exchange their money for beautiful woman. Isn't that shocking?

Locked as there is already a recent thread about this. Link:

Be a hard closer but also be an authentic, emotionally mature and charming man. The stuff after the "but" is important. I think most people looking on the internet for dating advice usually fall into the category of closing too little/not at all, so there is that as well.

If a guy says he only works out for himself, what do you think? It's the same. Nuance.

The person who edited this should be hired by Leo as new video editor Sedona Method is gold ❤️

Needyness is tricky and comes in many ways. You can be needy in virtually every possible form imaginable. Speaking, not speaking, asking questions, not asking a question, connecting with someone or not connecting with someone. The key here is Emotions. First step is becoming aware of it. For example you shared your experience and didn't get validation for it. Because you did not get that validation you felt rejected/bad. This is an emotion. Notice the reaction on an emotional level. Now, if he would've given you validation by telling you how great your experience was you might have felt validated/good. This is also an emotional reaction. In both situations you would have a need for validation. So in essence we can say being needy is a form of anticipating something outside of you to give you certain emotions. The second step now is to free yourself of that need. As for as long as you have that need for validation still inside of you it will show itself. It will come slipping through one way or the other. Freeing yourself means Growing out of that need. Feel into your emotions and let them go. Realize that you can never get validation from someone else. You have all you need right now, give yourself as much love and validation as you want. And even if you don't give yourself validation and you don't get it from the outside. You are still o.k. This realization is powerful. If you share something and do not react emotionally to what others say, you know you are not sharing to get validation. ❤️

Only me. Being here imagining everyone. ❤️

That is for you to find out. Everyone is different but some research has been done and some dots have been connected. Check out this website or this course for what they are. https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being You can learn from other peoples experiences just make sure to get their authentic and true story. You would be shocked to find out that many people who you think are happy are actually feeling miserable on the inside without anyone noticing. There is a book called "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" which I can recommend you to read or maybe find a video explaining it. One thing I would recommend you to learn and get into now is emotional mastery. Learn to accept and feel your emotions. Yes and no. Sex is kinda like money or alcohol. You will feel great for a while but it doesn't last. And definitely get a girl that likes you for who you are. You will resent her otherwise. For dating, don't think about success too much. Think more about character traits that are masculine. Girls are more attracted to those masculine traits in you than to your success (which would be merely a reflection of those traits). They want the real deal. As for success, you better find your own definition of it, if you don't agree with what society or the commercials tell you.

Self-Love. If you cannot love yourself, how love others? Be a good role model and others will follow you ❤️

I don't see the problem, just go out listen to some audiobook and when you get home implement them and take action. You can even take notes on it while you walk.