Av2521

@Hello from Russia I dont know, if shes attracted to me or not. Shes coming back all the time to me. So I guess, it could be. There is definitely a connection and tension between us.

I try to write it out as anonymous as possible: I am in contact with this one work colleague of mine (btw. Im male and shes female). She is already married, has little children and has a settled life (good job, house etc.). Everything seems fine. She says she loves him and shes happy and her life couldn’t be better. That’s the back story. So: We know each other for couple of months now and in this time we had spent quite a lot of time together. We are texting every day, sometimes for hours. Shes replying instantly and we are texting and talking in real life about all kind of topics. We are vibing really good and we are also laughing all the time, online and offline. We are meeting up like 2 to 3 times a week and did all kinds of things together (and are still doing), also many typical date-things, which you would say its 100% things people do, who are dating and also typical couple stuff. When shes not seeing me for lets say 4-5 days or so I feel like she becomes nervous and has to see me. She is even texting me, that she needs to see me. And when we are not texting like for 3 hours, shes reaching out to check, where I am and What I am doing or just text me to keep the conversation rolling. She is telling me, that I am important to her, and that shes happy, that Im there. I also get the feeling, that she becomes jealous and nervous, when Im around other girls and when other girls like me. Online and also offline. She is also afraid that if I date other girls, I wont have time for her and that our friendship could break apart because of that. She is seeing me as a good friend and at the beginning of all of this, she made clear that she loves her man and her family and would never risk anything of that. But I don’t understand, why is she then constantly contacting me, when she loves her man and is content with her life situation? Why isn’t she doing all this stuff with her man? Why does she want to do stuff with me all the time? When you love your man, go and leave me alone. I don’t get it and it confuses me. Maybe shes lying to herself that everything is fine. In the end, I don’t know that for sure. But I get the feeling that there is more between us than just friendship. We are both like emotionally dependent from each other. It’s really a strange situation for both of us. I also like her a lot and Im attracted to her. I want more than friendship, but I know given her situation, it wont be possible, so I guess I have to quit it for good. And every time she brings up her husband, it hurts inside. What is your take on the issue? And sorry, if there is not that much information, I try to keep it anonymous. Thanks 😊

@Leo Gura The thing is, she would tell me, that she‘ll never leave her man, even if she wants to. If Im direct and tell her, what I want, that would be to date her, she wont say yes, even if she wants to. Im prett sure of that. And I dont know, if shed date me. The situation is stressing me out. Should I cut her then? That‘d be sad, but I guess thats the best thing to do right now. Im gonna leave this workplace anyway soon.

@How to be wise But Im not dating her. So I dont know, if that fits very well.

@Thought Art But I dont get, what she wants. She says she loves her man and is happy with him, then why is she constantly coming back to me? Why isnt she so obsessed with him? It confuses me…

@Leo Gura But how exactly one can act emotional and feminine? What does „play“ exactly mean in this context? Is it to have fun in the moment? To be childlike and to also treat her like a child? I always thought that being masculine attracts the feminine, so things like leadership, confidence, emotional stability, decisiveness.

@Leo Gura what do you consider as a big city, Leo? Can it be like 800k oder u mean a million city?

@Leo Gura So by play you mean to amuse oneself and the girl and just have a good time with eachother? Like playing with a child?

Three years ago Leo posted something about living the normie-life (see uploaded image attached) and this post stuck with me ever since. Leo was connecting a negative touch with it, but for me the normie-life brings simplicity, easiness and peace with it. You can let yourself fall without being confused or paralyzed by all the choices around you. In the end we all want to live a happy life, so why not stick to some fundamentals and to simplicity. Life will be good. Im gonna build myself a "normie life" because thats where happiness will be in the end I think. What do you think?

Hi, so I am male, 28 years old (soon 29), living in a town in germany. I have zero sexual experience, never had a gf and Im a virgin. My plan is to settle down in a few years, get a wife, have children, working a job, buying a house. What are the exact action steps? Thanks.

@NewKidOnTheBlock Many men are struggling with the dating part of their life. Its a serious matter.

@Leo Gura Thank you, Leo. So if I watch the videos and apply it, I can be successful with women and find a gf? What about looks? How important is that?

You can live the normie life and do spirituality at the same time. Of course there won‘t be much time left for spirituality, if you‘re busy with the normal life. One has to choose, what he/she wants to sacrifice.

@Leo Gura When life is simple and all the big questions are answered by religion you create a high chance for happiness. Plus family (wife, children, siblings etc.) give you support. Why shouldn‘t you be happy, if you can let yourself fall?

Hi friends, Im planning to move to a much bigger city to succeed in dating and to get a girlfriend, marry, have children etc. But I somehow have the thought of it seeming desperate and maybe too needy, if you move only because of it. You leave everything behind, friends, family, job, comfort to meet new women, meanwhile all of my friends and relatives they have girlfriends here in my home town and soon getting married. Pressure will build up because you failed in your home town and now that you left everything behind you have to succeed in this other city. You dont go to the club, to the bar or to other social scenes to just have fun and let go, you go there with the intention to meet new women and this can be sensed I guess. Many dating coaches tell you that exactly this kind of approach will fail because then you are in a desperate and needy position instead of not caring how the night and the interaction will turn out. You are not carefree because of your agenda and pressure you have. You get what I mean? I hope there are some who are understanding my point. Thanks for the advice and help.

@Raze maybe she can sense the desperation and neediness, idk

@Raze The job doesnt care about your neediness and desperation. Humans do.

@eos_nyxia I always got disappointed. Nothing serious ever got developed out of the encounters. There are beautiful girls here, sure, but Im too inhibited to approach because the town is too small and Im afraid that it can affect my image somehow. Im also working in college, so approaching here also is not an option. Eventually people will think Im a creep. In a big city I think I wont give a shit about my image. Also you have much much more options. No one knows you there.

@something_else Yeah thats true, you are right. But I want to stay close to my home town eventually. There is a bigger city close to me (800 k people). But for dating I think I might move to Berlin (has about 3.7 million people livin in).

@Schizophonia There town right now, where I am in has about 60-70k people livin in. There is a bigger city close to me with about 800k people livin in. The other city I could move to has about 3.7 million people (Berlin, Germany). But its a bit further away.

Hello my dear friends Here you can find my Tier 2/Tier 3 interpretation of Islam. I call it "Hippe-Sufism". Have fun reading it, it is 2-pages long. I appreciate your replies Religion.pdf

So, this is my situation right now: Im 28 years old, living with my mom and siblings, working a full-time job at my college, where I graduated (did my Masters till I was 27 and this is basically my first job). The last decade I was busy with trying to figure out myself and life. I was into personal development, spirituality, reading, meditating, very interested in building a business, gym, and trying to find my passions and a life purpose. Besides that I did build some good friendships. I was also battling with some depressive episodes. But Im stable now. I did pull myself out there without therapy or medication. After all the trying, thinking and contemplation I basically came to the conclusion that I just want a normal life, especially have a woman on my side and have my own children. Religion is also really important for me, but not the traditional Tier 1, rather a Tier 2 or Tier 3 kind of religion. I found/created that for myself. Also I don’t need a life purpose and Im not really interested in finding my passions (tried that enough). I just want to work a stable, enjoyable job and Im not really interested in having a great career, my ambitions are quite low to be honest. Dating wise I really never tried hard enough. I never approached a girl in my life and I only had like one max. two dates so far. Here and there I tried to invite a girl to a date, but without success. Im also still a virgin. Im a decent looking dude, tall with a lean figure. So as you can see the dating area will be my main focus now, all the other things I figured out mostly. Im living in a town in Germany with 65k people livin there. My job contract will end at the beginning of next year and this will be a good opportunity to move to a bigger city (there is a city close to my town with 800k people and I could also move to a city with about 3.7 million people, but its much further away from the town Im currently living in). Also I did a professional photo shoot last week to try Online-Dating in my town. So I really need your advice here guys: What shall I do as my next step? Thanks for your replies. I really appreciate it.

@LordFall Okay thanks for the advice. I tried finding a life purpose, but after all the years I gave up on that. Sure I somehow want to change things in the world, but I dont have an extreme urge to do that.

@Starlight321 Do you think a city with 800 k people is enough for practice?

@LyubovThank you. Yeah I planned to move to Berlin, but after a couple of years return to this other city close to me (800k population). Do you think its a good plan?