Av2521

@Raze maybe she can sense the desperation and neediness, idk

@Raze The job doesnt care about your neediness and desperation. Humans do.

@eos_nyxia I always got disappointed. Nothing serious ever got developed out of the encounters. There are beautiful girls here, sure, but Im too inhibited to approach because the town is too small and Im afraid that it can affect my image somehow. Im also working in college, so approaching here also is not an option. Eventually people will think Im a creep. In a big city I think I wont give a shit about my image. Also you have much much more options. No one knows you there.

@something_else Yeah thats true, you are right. But I want to stay close to my home town eventually. There is a bigger city close to me (800 k people). But for dating I think I might move to Berlin (has about 3.7 million people livin in).

@Schizophonia There town right now, where I am in has about 60-70k people livin in. There is a bigger city close to me with about 800k people livin in. The other city I could move to has about 3.7 million people (Berlin, Germany). But its a bit further away.

Hi friends, Im planning to move to a much bigger city to succeed in dating and to get a girlfriend, marry, have children etc. But I somehow have the thought of it seeming desperate and maybe too needy, if you move only because of it. You leave everything behind, friends, family, job, comfort to meet new women, meanwhile all of my friends and relatives they have girlfriends here in my home town and soon getting married. Pressure will build up because you failed in your home town and now that you left everything behind you have to succeed in this other city. You dont go to the club, to the bar or to other social scenes to just have fun and let go, you go there with the intention to meet new women and this can be sensed I guess. Many dating coaches tell you that exactly this kind of approach will fail because then you are in a desperate and needy position instead of not caring how the night and the interaction will turn out. You are not carefree because of your agenda and pressure you have. You get what I mean? I hope there are some who are understanding my point. Thanks for the advice and help.

Hello my dear friends Here you can find my Tier 2/Tier 3 interpretation of Islam. I call it "Hippe-Sufism". Have fun reading it, it is 2-pages long. I appreciate your replies Religion.pdf

@LordFall Okay thanks for the advice. I tried finding a life purpose, but after all the years I gave up on that. Sure I somehow want to change things in the world, but I dont have an extreme urge to do that.

@Starlight321 Do you think a city with 800 k people is enough for practice?

@LyubovThank you. Yeah I planned to move to Berlin, but after a couple of years return to this other city close to me (800k population). Do you think its a good plan?

@Leo Gura Yeah as long as I am in my home town, I try Online-Dating here. I try to make the best out of the current situation, although its pretty difficult. Yeah I thought about moving to Berlin. It has great night life and a good social scene. I would live there for a couple of years, learn dating and then get back to the city with 800k people close to me. (because of family and friends). And if I havent found a gf in Berlin, I could use the experience to try it in the big city close to me. What do you think about the plan. Are a few years of inital practice enough? Thanks Leo.

@meta_male Thanks for the advice. There are things in life that I enjoy doing, but I stopped searching for passions and life purposes. Also I figured out that I am happy without them. If I find some passions or a "life purpose" in the future great, but if not, then that would also be fine.

So, this is my situation right now: Im 28 years old, living with my mom and siblings, working a full-time job at my college, where I graduated (did my Masters till I was 27 and this is basically my first job). The last decade I was busy with trying to figure out myself and life. I was into personal development, spirituality, reading, meditating, very interested in building a business, gym, and trying to find my passions and a life purpose. Besides that I did build some good friendships. I was also battling with some depressive episodes. But Im stable now. I did pull myself out there without therapy or medication. After all the trying, thinking and contemplation I basically came to the conclusion that I just want a normal life, especially have a woman on my side and have my own children. Religion is also really important for me, but not the traditional Tier 1, rather a Tier 2 or Tier 3 kind of religion. I found/created that for myself. Also I don’t need a life purpose and Im not really interested in finding my passions (tried that enough). I just want to work a stable, enjoyable job and Im not really interested in having a great career, my ambitions are quite low to be honest. Dating wise I really never tried hard enough. I never approached a girl in my life and I only had like one max. two dates so far. Here and there I tried to invite a girl to a date, but without success. Im also still a virgin. Im a decent looking dude, tall with a lean figure. So as you can see the dating area will be my main focus now, all the other things I figured out mostly. Im living in a town in Germany with 65k people livin there. My job contract will end at the beginning of next year and this will be a good opportunity to move to a bigger city (there is a city close to my town with 800k people and I could also move to a city with about 3.7 million people, but its much further away from the town Im currently living in). Also I did a professional photo shoot last week to try Online-Dating in my town. So I really need your advice here guys: What shall I do as my next step? Thanks for your replies. I really appreciate it.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, hello from Germany. So right now, Im 28, working my first ever job after college (graduated in late 2023) and still live at home with mom and sister. Ive come across Actualized and Leo in 2016, so Im many years in. It first started with basic self help stuff like boosting creativity or videos about female and male psychology and lead to topics like God-Realization and Absolute Solipsism. Leo greatly benefited me in my journey so far. He changed my ways of thinking and my perspective on many different topics. He introduced me to so many fascinating topics and models no other teacher showed me. I’ve learnt so much about myself through his videos and through this Online-Forum. And lately Im asking myself the question again and again: Where is this all leading to? Is this what I truly want? Will this lead to my personal happiness? And especially what kind of life am I wishing to live? And slowly Im coming to the conclusion that I don’t want that much out of life. My ambitions aren’t that high, more the opposite is the case. I want a “normal” life. Having a religion, marrying a woman, having children, working a stable enjoyable job, enjoying entertainment, meeting with friends, travelling, buying a house. I especially realized that I want that in summer 2023, when we went to Canada to visit my relatives. They are basically living this kind of life. Deep down I know that I also want that. But: The more I try to aim for that life, the more I realize that it is just a fantasy, maybe not for other people, I don’t know that for sure. Life seems to be really chaotic and order and structures will fall apart sooner or later: Jobs aren’t that stable as they seem, you can get fired out of the blue. Passions and interests for all sorts of things come and then they also go. Friends you had for years disappear in a second. Religion has so many interpretations as there are number of people on this earth. Getting laid is an almost impossible challenge. Getting in shape (I mean building muscles here) is really limited by genetics. Family comes and go. Mental disorders will come and they sometimes won’t disappear, same for physical illnesses. Interests for topics are there and will turn to disinterest next month. And Im pretty sure that this feelings of chaos and dis-order led me to Actualized (also feelings of depression). There are so many things you cant control and this leads to chaos and dis-order in ones personal life and also all around the world. That’s my personal experience. I feel like this kind of life that I wish for is not possible for me. For most people however it is. They seem happy and they have order and structure in their life, which cant be shaken. They can let themselves fall back and enjoy life. What are your takes on this issue and on my experience? I really appreciate your comments and Im happy for the possible advice that you can give me. Thank you.