oschi

I know someone who comes from an abusive household. It really seems to help a lot to relive it. Maybe even understand what is going on in the mind of the abuser. The relationship to my parents improved because I went deep inside my mind and thought about what really annoyed me. It all comes down to silence the ego very much and accepting the past as what it is. Not trying to say that you have to shake hands with your dad. But to decide for yourself that your dad maybe never really gave you anything good so you might aswell just not give a damn about him. Maybe you know all of this and you just have to be patient. Just make sure that there is no big pile of shit in your brain that you will carry with you for the rest of your life. I love to quote the movie revolver: "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you would ever look"

Looks that you have some things under your control. The question is, what does the combination of modelling, gym and search of perfection stuff really do to you? I know it is just an opinion but I think that this might make you an extremely superficial person and oh Jesus Christ nobody wants this. Not even you. Anyway, maybe I am totally wrong here. You know it can help to relive the bad times so that you finish with it once and for all. Cry or do whatever needs to be done. Confront yourself with your ego. Think about what happened and what you didn't like and be honest to yourself. If you want to you can send me a private message here to describe what happened to you. It feels great to open up to at least one person about the stuff that happens inside you. Shame often stops us from opening up in front of a bigger audience, that is how I actually feel^^

You don't know why they just dont like to express themselves? Why do you ask us how to ask them to be honest? Just be honest yourself I only know that as a dude, I am not really into ONS. I like intimate and intense sex. I can only have that when I know the girl for some time already. My gf comes like everytime and I am fine with the fact that in the past she came a few times a day. Now it is just once a day but I also keep it lower cause for me it kinda gets boring. It also is disappointing for me that she is not into this crazy stuff like me. But she likes to break some limits sometimes. But she says what she wants and I hope that she is honest. But there also are some rules that rather apply to most people. Like being spontaneous, passionate, creative in the small things and so on. Sometimes abstaining from sex can help.

The paradox is that you must stop thinking that technical^^ You just let it go. I totally feel you. I also question this whole idea of enlightment. Many years ago I told myself that I want to reach enlightment. What I actually got was some inner peace to some degree. But I also had moments in my life where something weird happened. I shut down everything around me and it put me in a euphoric state because I appreciated every little thing. This form of appreciation only lasts for a while but I would love to have it permanently. "Enlightment" means whatever you want it to mean. But for me it means to remove limits and see life from a better perspective. Knowing at any moment that what we have right here is the most valuable thing that there can be. This adventure that only lasts for a lifetime.

Thank you for being so open. It is important that you do that here. By going deep inside you, you will get a higher level of consciousness. I don't know too much about the rules in your country, but I guess it sounds a little bit like mideast, correct me if you could. Or maybe you are amish?^^ Anyway. You don't have to say it, but I would appreciate it (because I might understand your culture a little better). So you have to confront yourself with the fact that you don't need to compare yourself with others, though I really understand it when you have personalities around you all the time that might intimidate you. That makes it harder. But life is greater than just a competition. From this perspective I would definetly start with the better nutrition. It might be hell for you at the beginning but you will be so damn grateful that you changed yourself. If you compare it to your exams, you have to realize that the one thing is your career that you might not want to pursue (you have the choice, I hope, to be whatever you want) and the other thing is your health. You might end up being a doctor and hate your life. If you live a healthier lifestyle, means that you lose some weight and eat healthier foods (I can totally help you on that nutrition topic) you might still not like your career, but you will feel better in your body inside and outside (though we should not focus too much on the outside because that is not very enlightning^^). That is a lot of blabla right now. But I would really encourage you to start counting the calories that you eat. Every person has a unique metabolism, so you have to see for yourself how much calories you need a day to keep the weight that you have.

Most people who say that they are enlightened actually just trick themselves to think that. For your own safety never trust an enlightened person. But it is nice to hear from people about their enlightment experiences, because it can get you closer to it.

I wouldn't put too much pressure on a 14 years old. I know how my parents behaved back then. I lied to them about my worst grades in school so that they wouldn't be too disappointed about me. Still they saw that I didn't handle school to well. Mom helped me with math sometimes. I got some private coaching that I didn't really like. I respect my parents for the help they tried to give me. But in the past I usually tried to blame them for regularly interfering with my own life. As a 25 year old I still feel like mentally 5 years younger at least. If I could turn back time I would tell my parents in the face: I know that I don't handle the situation to well, but when I really want your help I will approach you. But for now I need some time to fail. And out of this failure I will grow stronger.

The even bigger lesson that you have learned is that you know how it feels to get knocked down. You don't have to be afraid of the abyss. Wear it like battle scars. You don't lose, you learn.

No, I guess it is okay if it is here. I can feel for you. I had my time where I lost my motivation. But you have to dig deep inside to realize why it is a mess. Do you really do all of that because you want to do it? Or maybe you just live up to the expectations of the society? Did you have a moment in your life that kinda had a traumatizing effect on you? Are you overdosing the media? Everybody can do whatever they want to. But in the end we have biological norms that we rather should live up to. We should move our asses. But who knows. Maybe you should visit the doctor to clear things up. Actually you have to decide what you want to change. But it is the best thing to really open up and tell us how your day looks like. All the things that you do and that consume a rather big amount of time. Some hints: Playing videogames? Sell your console or even break it if you can afford doing that. Watching Netflix all the time? Resign this bullshit and invest the money into something of bigger value like healthier food. Drink water and stop drinking sugary drinks. It doesn't matter seeing this from a superficial perspective. You have to really want to give your body a better treatment. It is important that you look inside to think of the things that you really desire. therefor you need to create true isolation. not thinking about food or other stimuli. just be with yourself in your room, meditate in the most simple way. we are on this planet not for a specific purpose but just to live and enjoy it. everything that doesn't belong to us eternally is of bigger value. actually our lives don't belong to us eternally because we will die someday and every positive and negative thought will have absolutely no meaning after that.

Actually kill the thought of killing the ego. It is something that is of evolutionary value. Love yourself for what you are. Stop judging your ego and just move in the right direction.