What Am I

Yeah, I could see this being the actual truth of what happened. It was after a near-breakthrough on DMT, so I was pretty much plucked out of typical reality and processed through a transcendental blender. Upon coming back from something like that, it's very easy to question everything with perception being so raw.

Right, I'm with you. An improvement and sophistication of my morality has mostly been a 1:1 correlation with spiritual advancement. It's hard to imagine it any other way, and it's a sentiment shared by most of the traditions. And most important of all, good feels good and bad feels bad lol. So why choose bad?

Really interesting stuff. I can only hope I fall on the side that doesn't get twisted from abundant use. I remember watching that Ken Wilber Ayahuasca video so long ago. A lot of what he says rings true. It would have been helpful to hear his thoughts on psychedelics based on personal experience, since he's such an insightful guy in general, but their use just wasn't part of his path.

If psychedelics were to cause that kind of change over time (which I agree does seem to be evidenced in some cases), I wonder what the mechanism would be. Maybe some kind of altered neurotrasmitter effect? I don't think I see it in myself, but it can be hard to accurately judge yourself objectively.

I think I agree with the crux of your post, but the one wild card is the power of 5meo in particular. You're definitely correct that practically all other psychedelics will mostly just show you the "10,000 things" of relative existence, but 5meo is a consistent revealer of the non-dual reality itself. If used properly, I think it has potential beyond any of the others. It's also an endogenous psychedelic, which probably has meaning that we haven't fully grasped yet. I saw your recent video about psychedelics, so I'm guessing you already understand this. I'm just reiterating. If some kind of future technology was aimed at turning on humanity's ability to access these things, I wouldn't be surprised if 5meo was somewhere in the mix as a chemical catalyst.

Yeah, I agree on the requirement of maturity and intentional use. It's an important line of demarcation between just messing around or acting with a purpose.

The act of entering and maintaining legit states of meditation causes a kind of purification process throughout your body and mind. I've found that 5-MeO-DMT in particular replicates similar states and triggers the same process. Once some purification has happened, it's so much easier to access authentic spirituality when sober. At least that's been my experience. Would you see value in its continued use beyond beginner with that benefit in mind? With the eventual goal of tapering off as it's less needed, and eventually running on your own steam? It's a booster of sorts, and I'm sure it's not without risks, but if used correctly in the proper context, it seems to point you in the right direction like nothing else can. I'm also on board with the notion that a sober consistent practice is paramount, and psychedelic use on its own will undoubtedly end in frustration.

Exactly, good observation. It's so easy to simply hang out in a conceptual framework for all this stuff. It's unfortunate too, because diving into the experiential reality and making it your sole focus, especially where the energetic aspect is concerned, is so much more fun and liberating. Not to mention being essential for progress.

Wow, thanks for that, I appreciate you being willing to lay it all out. I've been into this topic for a long time, as I became experientially aware of spirituality being a real thing when I was around 19, and now I'm not quite so young. Almost exactly Leo's age. After all the study, practice, and psychedelics, I can't claim to really know what the fuck is actually going on with any certainty lol. I've realized over time that I know less than I thought, and psychedelics have shown me there's realms I'll probably never understand when viewed through the lens of my individual finite expression. One thing that's only become more apparent over time is the potential for metaphysical experience to be cracked wide open by various attentional practices, especially when enhanced with psychedelics. And it's in the experience of reality itself where I try to draw my understanding and put my aspirations. I get the feeling that I may be similar to you, in the sense that I think it's a mistake to tie myself down to a particular philosophy, even if it's a philosophy of the absolute. It seems like it'd be self-limiting, which could really screw you over when your aims are so lofty. I most certainly draw on tried-and-true practices, mostly from Buddhism and Hinduism, but I wouldn't consider myself a member of either of those. States of non-duality are a fact of existence, but I don't need to be a non-dualist. Who knows what lies beyond what we think we understand?

That's an interesting distinction. Who's to say? It'd actually be weird to find out anything is in fact finite, especially the potential for more consciousness.

Gotcha, thanks. If the accusations are true, my opinion wouldn't be too far off from yours. I'm only first hearing about it in this thread, and I don't know much about Rupert Spira beyond a few videos I've seen. He definitely presents himself as the type of person that'd be beyond such temptations.

LMAO that's great

Beautiful, thanks man. That certainly sounds in line with what you'd expect. Though I can't help but wonder why there's seemingly two separate types of ultimate experience. I know I talk about kundalini a lot, and it's probably getting annoying at this point, but it simply can't be avoided and I can't stop myself lol. I wonder if it has something to do with the varying content of peoples' reports. For me, it's clearly the engine behind all my spiritual experiences. It wasn't always so obvious, but a lot of 5meo use mixed with intentional energetic practice blasted it open and made it apparent, even when sober. All this is to make the humble suggestion that it could be an area worth looking more into for anyone who hasn't previously dove in. I always find it surprising that others aren't constantly talking about it, considering it's been the centerpiece of my experience. This excerpt from "Living with Kundalini" by Gopi Krishna is a lot closer to my breakthrough experience, though I admit it's not identical. Suddenly, with a roar like that of a waterfall, I felt a stream of liquid light entering my brain through the spinal cord. Entirely unprepared for such a development, I was completely taken by surprise, but regaining self-control instantaneously, I remained sitting in the same posture, keeping my mind on the point of concentration. The illumination grew brighter and brighter, the roaring louder. I experienced a rocking sensation and then felt myself slipping out of my body, entirely enveloped in a halo of light. It is impossible to describe the experience accurately. I felt the point of consciousness that was myself growing wider, surrounded by waves of light. It grew wider and wider, spreading outward while the body, normally the immediate object of its perception, appeared to have receded into the distance until I became entirely unconscious of it. I was now all consciousness, without any outline, without any idea of a corporeal appendage, without any feeling or sensation coming from the senses, immersed in a sea of light simultaneously conscious and aware of every point, spread out, as it were, in all directions without any barrier or material obstruction. I was no longer myself, or to be more accurate, no longer as I knew myself to be, a small point of awareness confined in a body, but instead was a vast circle of consciousness in which the body was but a point, bathed in light and in a state of exaltation and happiness impossible to describe.

Jeez! You don't mess around. That's interesting that the experience for you goes to something like a black void. I've been learning about this stuff for a long time, and it seems to me there's two basic ways for a state like nirvikalpa samadhi to manifest. An infinite black void like what you're describing, and an infinite white void that includes the sensation of immeasurable energy (closer to what I've experienced). Or perhaps you have the energetic sensation as well? I've read a bunch of highly advanced meditation practitioners' reports describing one or the other, but not so much any individual describing both. I wonder what's going on there.

I haven't seen many of your posts, so I don't want to be quick to assign views to you. Is it your opinion that something similar to this doesn't exist? Not the extra bit about peace and not needing anything, but just something called enlightenment itself. Not an end state necessarily, but a spiritual process of transformation. I'm just trying to get an idea of where you're coming from in the argument. It's not totally clear.

To take a swing at it on a very base level, I'd say the notion that we're all one with God rather than Jesus alone being one with God. I think many people here have had the subjective experience of that being true, whether through psychedelics or otherwise. Now if you're wanting to get deeper into the teachings, I'll admit my ignorance. I've only looked far enough into it to realize Gnosticism aligns with the fundamental Eastern views.

I guess theoretically there's no way to verify both aren't made up. In fact, from what I understand, it's more likely to be the case that the historical figure named Jesus didn't exist. Gnostic Christian teachings seem way closer to the truth of what's possible in human development though, so I'd lean that way no matter what in comparison of value.

https://www.rozziroomian.com/gallery This is the artist's site. Lots of great pics, though that one in the OP is probably the best. I'm sure it speaks to practically everyone on the forum who has some experience.

Yeah, very true. Anyone who isn't aware should look into Gnostic Christianity. The parallels between Jesus' original teachings and Eastern methodologies are striking. The fact that this still isn't well known is crazy.

Sure, I didn't necessarily mean I believed it to be the case, but it did feel that way. And after the profundity of what I'd just experienced, my reality rearranging would be the least incredible thing lol. If it were to be possible, it'd be something along the lines of my individuality experiencing something akin to a parallel universe, and the DMT facilitating it. Considering everything else that we know exists, it wouldn't be the most far-fetched thing imaginable.

Wild stuff. A few times after I've come back from an extreme DMT trip, I've had the distinct impression that a bunch of factors of reality have been shuffled. Even little things like my room isn't how it was before.

@Husseinisdoingfine the series that book is a part of is very good. And the autobiography by the same author (going by a different name) is probably my favorite book of all time when it comes to spirituality. https://www.amazon.com/Liberation-Spiritual-Autobiography-Av-Neryah/dp/9893515718/ The first 1/3 is about his time in a cult and is kind of lame, but it gets very illuminating when he goes independent and devotes massive amounts of time to meditation. His map for the process is the most helpful and best I've seen.

What are some highlights of the trip? I still haven't tried 4-AcO-DMT, and I'm wondering what I'm missing.

Fair enough, that's definitely the usual and understandable opinion when it comes to injection.

I'm pretty convinced past lives is a thing that actually exists, even if its reality is beyond space and time, and therefore something not easily understood.