What Am I

Yeah, it's definitely possible it's an overload on your nervous system if you're taking ~12mg everyday and experiencing the full effects with no tolerance. I get something similar when I push it with psychedelics too often. Some time off would probably give your body a chance to catch up.

No problem, good luck. Feel free to ask if any other questions come up.

It's such a moth-to-the-flame scenario, and yet still so appealing for some reason lol.

I've used it in the form of a Syrian Rue harmala extract, which is a mix of harmine and harmaline. I only had light doses though, and it was for enhancing my vaped DMT experiences. It inhibits the breakdown of DMT and allows it to remain in your system longer, and it also pretty drastically alters the character of the trip. If that is the type of seeds you currently possess in their whole form, you could try something like 1 or 2 grams and just take them orally. If you're taking any other medications or supplements, it'd be a very good idea to check if they're incompatible with MAOIs.

At least from what I'm seeing when searching for Üzerlik Tohumu, it is Syrian Rue. It's a reversible MAOI that can be used in place of the ayahuasca vine. A large dose will definitely give you some strong effects if you ingest it in its whole seed form orally or make a tea. You can also get purified extracts of the harmalas, which would probably be ideal. You need to be real careful with MAOIs though, as they can interact with a lot of other medications. In terms of being stronger than DMT, that may be questionable. It'd 100% enhance the strength and duration of DMT when combined though. There's also a possibility of a technique to use it that I'm not aware of, which may make it very powerful on its own. Search results

Exactly, that's why Adyashanti called the book "The End of Your World". It's meant to be literal. I've had tastes of what it'd be like during strong 5meo trips, and it's a true erasing of the feeling of being a self, even when you're still interacting with the phenomenal world. You're so perfectly lined up with 'what is' that it becomes a choiceless dissolving into the moment. The raw feeling of liberation is absolutely insane. So heavenly, even though nobody in particular experiences it lol.

Is it like soma in Hinduism, where we're not sure what substance it's actually referring to? I thought the term 'cruciferous' is meant as a classification for types of vegetables.

lol for sure, it's always amazing when synchronicities happen, no matter how many times we see them. It's like a peak behind the curtain into a true timelessness, and they can serve as a marker giving us hints we're on the right path. Besides torrents, I'm not sure if you could easily find an electronic copy of the book. It's The End of Your World by Adyashanti. Very helpful book indeed, as well as all his other material.

Eternally restarting cycles are described in Eastern religions, and that is probably how it works. It'd really be worth pursuing the states of consciousness that can experientially comprehend this kind of stuff though. The conceptual answer will always leave you unsatisfied, as it's fundamentally flawed and can never be perfectly true.

A more "Earthly" answer I could give regarding reincarnation is that it seems to be an unconscious process for most people, in the sense that after death, you're carried by forces in alignment with your karma towards whatever your new destination is. The less capacity for consciousness that you've developed, the more unconscious the process becomes. Since the mass majority of humans on Earth aren't even aware they're supposed to be developing consciousness, it'd probably be fair to say this applies to 99% of people or something crazy like that. For those who actually have authentic skill, it supposedly opens up doors of possibility upon death, including enlightenment itself. Everything I typed above is pretty much based on faith in Tibetan Buddhism. I don't know it to be true, but I'm confident the people who described it would be in a position to know via mastery of the prajna mechanism I mentioned. Additionally though, I'd stress that the reality is probably incomprehensible by normal means, and well beyond what I've described.

Oh nice, it sounds like you've been doing investigation and are heading in that direction on your own. Adyashanti's teachings have a concept involving awakening at the level of mind, heart, and gut. By his model, you already have significant progress at the level of mind. What you're describing involving the body would be similar to his idea of awakening the heart. Here's a Pastebin of his description. I also highly recommend this book, coincidentally called Liberation (since that's your new goal). It's an autobiography of a heavily dedicated practitioner who mapped out his experience better than any other I've seen. The first 1/3 of the book is about his time in a cult, and it kind of sucks and isn't very helpful, but the rest is unbelievably illuminating regarding what to expect on a path like this and how to get there.

The detachment would come as a natural consequence of your shift in identity from the false self (which is an ad-hoc identity constructed of thoughts) to the primordial awareness. There's a huge number of resources that go over how it's done, but the basic idea is to be constantly aware of awareness, conscious of consciousness, etc. It's a very subtle and delicate thing at first, so you have to sincerely explore within yourself to find it. Good goal by the way. I'm aiming towards the same thing.

Have you ever done a high-dose psychedelic trip and experienced your mind in a transcendent state? Or meditated extremely deeply? The logical process itself gets eclipsed and replaced with what Yoga calls prajna. It's as if our mind takes on dimensions and capabilities that are supernatural and altogether different from what we're used to, and it could be considered a siddhi in itself. It's in a state like this where we could have some hope of actually grasping reincarnation.

Thanks for reporting, this is really helpful to know. I wonder if it's possible it actually doesn't produce a tolerance for most or all people. When researching online, it's commonly reported by informational sources like PsychonautWiki that it does produce a tolerance.

lol not bad, interesting comparison. Definitely some irony there.

Sure, fair enough. I don't want to white knight for Leo too hard lol. Just something I keep in mind when judging his actions.

Gotcha, I don't disagree with that. I try to create those exact types of posts which are full of detail about my experience. Though I think it's worth remembering that Leo has a ridiculous number of people paying attention to whatever he says. It's hard to know what ripple effect may occur from him being overly verbose, as you never know how any particular individual will interpret what he says. I'm sure it's a tricky thing, and probably worth cutting him a little slack now and then.

I guess a fair question would be what type of answer you'd like Leo to give? What would the answer look like? Would it be one listing off the various receptors in the brain and body, and a description of how they're negatively affected based on peer-reviewed research? Or would it be an answer more along the lines of anecdote based on how he felt after using them? Or maybe something in between? A precise answer about psychedelic dangers as a whole may be something that doesn't exist on Earth. I believe he recommends them if you'd like to experience high levels of truth, but with the conscious understanding of potential danger. Not trying to put words in his mouth, but that's what I've taken from his responses.

Don't you guys think the real answer is probably in a gray area? It'd be kind of ridiculous for Leo to make a binary statement that they're either healthy or dangerous. Not only would it be an incomplete answer, but with all the people hanging on his every response and making modifications to their lives based on it, a large number of them could be led astray. Like everything else in life, there's nuance to the argument.

Of all the different psychedelics you could use, mushrooms would be much more on the benign end, as you've already noticed. LSD would fall a few notches closer to being harmful imo. It's a lot more stimulating, which can leave you feeling strung out and depleted. This would no doubt take a toll over time. The topic was covered pretty extensively in the thread linked below, in case you haven't seen it.

Wild stuff indeed. I wonder how long it'd take to dissolve all that karma, and I wonder what'd happen then? It appears to be some kind of endless game.

If you read the possibilities you listed, they actually line up pretty well with the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I do take your point though. It'd be foolish to cling on to any of this, thereby creating a type of limited view from an imperfect source. The transcendent experience itself would be an infinitely better guide. It's a good reminder to not concentrate on the finger. The First Stage: The Clear Light immediately after death, the individual’s consciousness is said to experience a brief period of clarity and awareness, known as the “clear light.” This is considered a crucial moment, as it is believed that one can achieve liberation from the cycle of rebirth if they recognize and cultivate this clear light. The Second Stage: The Bardo After the clear light, the individual’s consciousness enters a state known as the “bardo,” or intermediate state. During this period, the individual is said to experience a series of visions and emotions, which are believed to be influenced by their past karma. The bardo is a critical period, as it is thought that one’s future rebirth is determined during this time. The Third Stage: Rebirth After the bardo, the individual’s consciousness is reborn into a new body, either human or non-human, depending on their karma. The Tibetan Book of the Dead provides guidance on how to navigate this process and achieve a positive rebirth.

Right, it's definitely incomprehensible lol. Such a mindfuck. Though after everything I've experienced, I have faith that they're pointing to a literal phenomenon, even if it's beyond me for the moment. Like a moth to the flame, I keep aiming in that direction.