Daniel Balan

I'm not lazy at all. I work from 6:30 am to 8 pm everyday except sunday. In the spare time I watch your videos about spiral dynamics, politics, self help. Where I don't really follow your work is when it comes to god and love. None of those 2 aspects will help me whatsoever. I would still have to work from dawn till dusk just to have enough money to pay my taxes and feed my family. I am happy the way I am. I feel complete. I don't care if I am god or not. All I care about is to not die. The good thing about living in a 3rd world corrupt country is that everyday you struggle with all your might just to stay alive. Thus you begin to appreciate how precious life is and how easily it could be taken away from you. Here you have it. That's all the god realization I need.

All you need to realize god is to behold a tree blossoming. Or to behold the daughters of the firmament at night. That's the moment you realize that this is a hallucination. Something this beautiful cannot be real. IT MUST BE A DREAM!

@Leo Gura Why should I bend over backwards to discover something that was here all along? Here and now we are experience god. How can you experience god any stronger than just simply observing that you are alive? I feel that all this god realization work is redundant. It's like trying to find your hand while scratching your head for answers of where to find the very hand you are scratching your head with.

Give it to me Haha Leo said that I am god and I reckon that it would be wise to give all your money to god. hahaha

I believe that Trump and Putin did a Yalta 2 where they've redrawn Russia's sphere of influence giving much of eastern Europe to Putin. By eastern Europe I mean basically the eastern side of the Iron Curtain back within the Russian's sphere of influence minus East Germany. Basically everything that consisted of the Warsaw Pact minus East Germany which they have no claim because it merged into Germany.

I've never did anything to be awoken. All I ever did is just observe. I never took a psychadelic, and I will never take one. I try to meditate non stop, by doing my best to observe the environment and to immerse myself as deeply as I can into all my bodily senses. And this observance made me aware that I'm just an ape trying my best to stay alive in a dream that feels so real. I also dismiss that I am god because when someone puches me in the mouth I feel tremendous pain. But I also had many dreams in my sleep where I was fighting for my life, and when I got punched or cut in the dream I felt no pain. But here I feel pain. I am not god. Because when I die you will still be here running your blog and website.

I am not dreaming. It is god that dreams me. I am just a camera that observes god's dream. A camera that is also a hallucination within the hallucination of god. A hallucination whose only purpose is to observe the hallucination. And when this camera is shut down(When I die) for me( the human) the experience of god's dream ends. But god keeps on dreaming. Because it would be a total waste for god to create a dream just for me (the human). When my grandpa died the dream ended for him. It didn't end for me too. I was left here to allow God to keep on dreaming. And when I will die you will be here to allow the dream to go on. Not just you the humans, also the trees, the birds, the dogs, the cats the falcons... all are cameras from which god observes his dream forever. I've became aware of this the last time I slaughtered a rooster which I grow for food. When I chopped his head off I realized how insignificant I am, and the same way I killed it for food, I could be killed too by a lion. For that rooster the dream ended but god kept on dreaming, that will happen too when this ruthless dream will decide that my time as an observer of God is over. I am as insignificant as the cockroach you squash under your foot when you walk the street. The cockroach beholds god's dream the same way that I do. I'm in no way shape or form more valuable than a cockroach. It's just the pure luck that this dream decided to incarnate me into a more physically powerful camera for experiencing this hallucination.

Ok. I understand that everything is a hallucination! But why you say that I( the individual writing this message) am the only thing that exists? And if I would die now y'all would disappear together with me. That's what I understood from your solipsism video @Leo Gura. And I dismiss some of those insights. From my personal experience I am like a surveillance camera for God. And every other creature be it human or animal or bird is too a surveillance camera for the mind of god. I deny that I am the only thing that exists. After all god needs all those surveillance cameras in case of emergency if one of it dies there are others so that god can continue to experience this dream he created. I came to the realisation that god created so many creatures so that he can experience as many facets of this dream as possible. And that there is nothing special about me. I'm just another leaf in god's tree.

I’m writing this because I feel hopeless. I caught the Delta variant of Covid-19 in October 2021 and nearly died. I was hospitalized for 25 days! I had to call an ambulance because I couldn’t get air into my lungs no matter how hard I tried. I arrived at the emergency room with my face almost purple. After I got out of the hospital, I felt like a zombie—it took me 2 years to regain my sense of smell and 6 months to taste food again. I’m turning 25 soon, and since October 2021, I can’t have sex anymore. My penis doesn’t work at all. The only way I can get an erection is by masturbating, but as soon as I stop touching it, it goes soft. I tried Cialis 20mg, and it only worked the first time. I gave it 6 more shots, but nothing—no matter what, I couldn’t get it up. Even watching porn doesn’t help, and I was never into it anyway—I barely watched it once a month and rarely masturbated. Before Covid, I had a huge sex drive and could perform amazingly. Now, I can’t get hard, and even if I do, I ejaculate almost instantly—or lose that weak erection before I even get that far. I’ve been to doctors, and they’re clueless. They all just prescribed Cialis or Viagra and told me to see a psychologist. But I had severe anxiety back in 2019, and my dick worked perfectly then—so it’s not psychological. All my blood tests show I’m perfectly healthy. Testosterone levels are great, my thyroid works fine, and every other hormone is within normal range. I’m also physically active. I’ve talked about this with Grok AI, and it said there’s a real chance I might never get back to normal. It suggested that Covid could have completely wrecked the endothelium in my blood vessels—especially the small ones—and the nervous system that controls erections. I should also add that I have a strong desire for sex, but it’s like my dick doesn’t respond to anything anymore. It feels like I don’t even have one in my pants. I want to have a family! And this issue is preventing me, my GF told me that she no longer can tolerate being sexless for so long. And that she is very seriously contemplating leaving and finding happiness for herself. Which I completely understand, I've told her that if things don't get better I have no right of depriving her of happiness and that she is free to break up with me and find someone else who can make her happy. Is there any chance for me to heal? And if so, how?

Leo often talks about corruption. Here is a video of just how corrupt Romania is. I knew that this country is corrupt, but I never imagined the utter devilish nature that corruption can incarnate into. https://youtu.be/EpbFyBvDQjg?si=YyJr_GqXIdHd4q4H

I've spent the last two evenings to take notes from @Leo Gura's stage blue video. No AI. I paused and manually wrote on my commonplace book all the important aspects of stage blue. Hope it helps someone. Cheers!

@Leo Gura But why did those RW voted for Trump as opposed to Kamala? Kamala being basically the second term of Biden. I've followed your blog thoroughly and I noticed a blog post where you praised Biden for annulling a law that prohibited employees of a company to join a rival company if that company offered better wages. Among many other measures that he took to protect the blue collar workers from corporate enslavement. So why those stupid fools voted for more economic oppression, more power for their greedy employers? Is the fearmongering about immigrants and about woke-ness so terrifying that's worth being a wage slave all your life just to say FUCK YOU in the face of the woke people? I find this abhorrent.

@Leo Gura I'm totally illiterate when it comes to economics. But did Biden had anything to do with inflation? As an European I mostly blame the covid pandemic and the war in Ukraine for the soaring of the prices. Especially the war in Ukraine, because without the Russian energy supply, all electricity and gas and petrol prices skyrocketed, and energy is essential for producing goods. So was Biden a bad president? How well he fared as a president? Was he a disaster as all these right wing fools say? Following this forum I got the sense that he took a lot of progressive measures which in my opinion were healthy.

Right wing my ass. Right wingers are some of the most stupid and ape like creatures that walk this earth. Conservativism and healthy stage blue values are at the centre right on the political spectrum. Centre right has a lot of healthy aspects. Which are disappearing the more you skew to the right of the political spectrum. The left has the same problems. The wise find balance and embrace ideas from both centre right and centre left.

No! Stop giving tier 2 status to entitled stage orange bullshitters. Stage yellow doesn't mean every wise man who speaks intelectually. That is orange not yellow. Stage yellow is a very rare and advanced stage which requires levels of understanding of reality beyond what the average Joe can fathom. Basically you could count on the fingers of a single hand the people at stage yellow from todays internet. Personally I recognize only 2 people as stage yellow. One is Leo and the other is Daniel Schmachtenberger. That's it.

Wait... I've read that right? Intelectual and right wing in the same sentence? By definition anyone who is right-wing has nothing to do with being intelectual.

From my personal experience, I believe that everyone is much lower on the spiral than what it appears to be at a first glance. I believe that mankind as a species is drowning in all the toxic aspects of red blue and orange. And I believe that it would take at least 300 years or more to be at the beginning of stage Green. So far stage green seems to me the most important stage on the spiral. Without proper understanding of it mankind could wipe itself from the face of the earth.

Thank god, spiral dynamics isn't taught at a societal scale. Such a beautiful system is being perverted by devils. Imagine if MAGA knew spiral dynamics... They'd corrupt this system to the point of believing someone like Bernie Sanders is a stage red communist while Trump and Vance are Stage Yellow strategic visionaries, or worse they'd believe that Trump is a stage turquoise sage saviour of mankind. The bottom line is that the devil can corrupt even the purest of light.

Hi Leo. This comment made me worry about your safety. Leaving the alien stuff aside, did you notice anyone wanting to do harm to you? Did you receive threats? I mean, you never did wrong to anyone. You don't seem the kind of guy to have enemies. Who are those bad faith actors you mentioned? Please be safe. I personally love you. Without you I am certain that I'd have been dead for many years now.

You are coming from the same part of the world. Didn't you say you are half Ukrainian half Russian? You should know best what I am talking about with the posts I made in this thread. What I described is viewed perfectly normal by the apes inhibiting these lands.

And the worst part is that no one chose to be a christian! They force their children to become christians. Luckly for me I was raised by my grandparents and they gave 0 fucks about religion. But my peers were beaten with a horse whip for not saying their prayers before going to bed. I remeber in kindergarden the teacher beat us with a ruler for not thanking God for the free milk the kindergarden gave to us. In hindsight looking back with a mature mind, I realise that what those Chritians are doing to their kids is the definition of evil. Those orthodox Cristians are some of the most primitive and ape like creatures that walk this earth. All they live for is conspiracy theories, and crusading against anyone who isn't like them

I can't understand why those apes are always preaching about love, about turning the other cheek... But as soon as I hold contrarian opinions to them they all grab their pitchfork ready to kill me. Literally you could get killed arguing with a orthodox christian. They believe that science is bs and that the earth is 9000 years old yet those apes are the definitive proof that mankind originated from the evolution of apes and monkeys.

I'm not a radical at all. All I want is to be part of a community where I can express my thoughts and opinions without literal stones being thrown at me for thinking differently. Once an ape I was arguing chased me with stones for saying that I don't care about going to church.

No man. I can't. I've had enough of it. This cult has forced and bullied me all my life into following it's customs and BS rituals. Go live 25 years in a community where everyone is a brainwashed eastern Orthodox Christian. Those people beat you with whips and sticks for not making the sign of the cross before a church of before eating lunch. I hate every person in my village. Those people threaten and say that my mother's a whore for criticising their God. I've had more than enough. There is a limit of stupidity that makes me go nuts. Those people wash their teeth with their finger because they believe George Soros put poison in their toothpaste because they are Christian. I HAD ENOUGH.

FUCK CHRISTIANITY!!! I abhor this religion so much. I've had enough of it. All my life it was shoved down my throat at every turn, at every interaction with an ape. Those Christian apes talk about love or god then saying my mother is a whore for not making the sign of the cross in front of a church or before eating lunch. Those apes are so barbaric and stage red like that it made me abhor humanity in it's entirety. You cannot fathom how much hatred I have for those Christian apes. Especially Romanian and Russian eastern orthodox Christianity. Those are literally apes. They are yet to evolve into homo sapiens. The worst of the worst. I've read Leo's blog post about Christians while listening to the most evil and wicked black metal song of all time written by a man who became world famous for burning down churches in Norway in the 90's. This is the death of Jesus. This lyrics sums up this piss poor cult which is Orthodox Chritianity. The lyrics: A figure lay there on the ground So evil that the flowers around withered A gloomy soul lay there on the ground So cold that the water turned to ice A shadow then fell over the woods When the figure's soul withered away Because the figure's soul was a shadow A shadow of the evil power