Agrande

I’m afraid that self deception goes so deep there may NEVER be a solution to it. Maybe the solution is to not exist at all forever but even then, that might just be another flavour of self deception

Since so much of our life is just maintaining our own survival, it’s a surprise for many that people go 180 degrees in the opposite direction and choose to end it on their terms. In a way, it takes a lot of bravery and courage, but in high pressure survival situations, it looks like the better option. What if suicide is just an attempt at survival in another form? Is suicide truthful? Legit i’m ready to die. It is also said that many had flashes of enlightenment when deep in this mire of suicidality. if the answer isn’t physical death then what is the real answer? Wouldn’t physical death lead to death of ego too? my outer circumstances don’t exactly let me pursue the spiritual path to the max the way I want to. I’d rather be dead then to live as this fuck up also in a fucked up deluded environment around deluded people i’m so sick of the BS in me and around me that i’d rather take a leap into the unknown and kill myself. Dissolving all this BS nauseating noise, shit and impurity

I used to have a hate boner for (pseudo) non dualists because they just play word games and riddles while pretending to be a wiseass that has all the answers. I still have a distaste for it because there’s a level of pretentiousness that comes with its followers. I don’t like parroters. I feel like pseudo non dualism is just for losers trying to cope with their loserdom. “I still live in my mom’s basement but it doesn’t matter bro it’s all non dual bro!!!” Since many obsessed pseudo non dualists plagued this forum I took a massive long break to refresh my mind from the BS. Reading all the pseudo non dualism was straight up brain damaging and cringe. if i see another one i’m done forever lol. i think real nondualists would be yogis living in seclusion and spending the whole day meditating.

Good message but easier said than done tbh. If i were to live like how you described, I’d need a fundamental shift in perception/consciousness. Which then would shift my worldview and how I view pleasures and addictions yada yada i’ve been doing something similar by doing contemplation work on the true nature of this world/reality Buddhist style. Got pretty useful results. I am a lot more detached from sex, porn, unhealthy eating and other vices. It’s more cerebral to do contemplation work but once u do it enough, the realised truths sink deep into your mind and naturally, you become averse to degenerate activities which waste away one’s life and health

Interesting answers thanks guys

Nibbana has entered the chat You would’ve died happy in Buddha’s time period if Buddha personally guided you to become an arahant.

I coin a new term: nondual word play

I gotta first purify my intentions tbh. Gotta burn through all my karma and cravings till it’s exhausted. Acting upon it would be for me doing long solo retreats with 5meodmt and other psychedelics + meditations on the side

Banger quotable too true

Good advice for socialising tbh. Turned off my head and just got into like social flow states. It’s not very useful for philosophy/spirituality though imho. Damn u also reminded me of that time I was so INTP I was asking myself “what if im autistic what if im autistic?!” So much so I got an actual test and it came out negative. There’s so much struggle with neurodiverse people I used to think I was just “wired differently” but rlly i’m just more of a thinker i guess

From what i understood ur advocating for like some sort of balance of ego and my spiritual side but ngl i’m more extreme i wanna go balls to the wall with things. I’d wanna COMPLETELY eliminate it (cause i’m like that). Also no hard feelings involved we’re just discussing I’m sorry if I came across as rude to you

That puts into perspective my past experiences of like having weeks of pure silence after some kind of awakening. Had a deep feeling of I am and “holy shit I actually exist and everything else exists?” But im sure there’s something deeper i’m missing here. Even Leo himself said that nobody is near the high level to teach entirely overcoming self deception. self deception has it’s tentacles possibly everywhere tbh

I see but then high level buddhists would’ve been totally free from self deception. It can’t be said for certain that just stopping thought leads to freedom from self deception. Maybe partially but not fully. What if it’s meant to stop the CAUSES of thinking? The cause of thinking imo is the desire to know or to look for certainties. What is ontological self deception? Is it God’s desire to know/experience a certain limited form and to get lost/immersed in it? By ultimate solution I mean complete freedom from self deception including at the ontological level not even the level of thought. removal from the root level. My current understanding is that I would have to return to God’s purest state to end all of this. Before all the distortions, forms, limitations etc. default state before any form manifested into existence. just one ball of massive infinite potentiality or void Insane work needed for that though. Had glimpses maybe. I was in states before where I could think of something and it would happen. But then I couldn’t sustain it.

I don’t want to be a deluded ignoramus

Not about ego I’m just curious and bored of the typical human existence I just want to go beyond it all and discover what’s true. Novel, WTF things I would never have known before. Not knowing goes wayyyy beyond any of this stuff you’re talking about tbh

Oh God, please don’t make actualized.org a discord server what a shitshow that would be

Understanding and using techniques on the subconscious mind is very very powerful stuff from personal experience

I’m worried about self deception on even an ontological level. How animals even exist to camouflage to blend seamlessly in their environments, easily catching prey. How humans also adapt in weird ways while they’re all being unconscious of it. So if what you’re saying is true, then there should be a level of not knowing where I can’t even assume a form or exist because I wouldn’t KNOW it. I would be so beyond it all. So thinking of myself as a human, i’d be raised by my environment into “learning” how to walk talk speak and my brain picks up so much knowing. even as an animal or insect or alien or whatever perhaps they’re all built in with this inherent drive for knowing which develops overtime. Knowing they even exist. Even expanding my mind’s frame so far into experiencing alien consciousness. Not knowing it is then at the moment, that ultimate level of not knowing is incomprehensible to me so I would have to go hardcore into solo 5meo DMT retreats and contemplation stuff etc.

As you’ve mentioned in blog posts, to truly understand women on a deeper level you need to detach from that desire for sex. I’d like to see a video where you elaborate more on your deeper insights into what femininity really is and the truth to what makes women the way they are (detached from manosphere, redpill and blackpill ideology which are too strongly attached to sex and love etc) Dive into topics like feminism, the problems women have faced in society in history and the past, their psychology, perhaps about motherhood idk… just like how to really understand the essence behind femininity without any sort of bias, falsehood or cravings for salacious stuff. Even the form of physical females and metaphysical implications of stuff. Explaining the mind of women etc. A video title would be something like: ”Understanding Femininity - A Truthful Explanation” Or ”What is Femininity? A Philosophical Explanation” Or ”Why Femininity Isn’t Understood” Or ”What Is Femininity?” Or ”Why Femininity Isn’t Truly Understood”

I was originally supposed to post this in the high consciousness resources section but it seems I can't start a topic there so I thought this is the second most relevant section to post in (Mods can move this as they see fit) https://www.virustotal.com/gui/file/8a419e0702de18a06596acd1973dbdcc7f42ca20e8e4fbf007bc32cff8819231?nocache=1 Enjoy! This is by far one of my favourite episodes so I made myself a epub and pdf version so I can regularly read through and contemplate it. Thought I'd share it with anyone else who might be interested. whytruthisthehighestvalue.pdf

@Yimpa I will be making more documents in the future I'll @ you if interested then

Where is there to go? The common assumption behind suicide is that you'll go into this lovey dovey plane of existence where all your worries and problems will melt away, escaping the problems ur facing on earth. Is that guaranteed though? Is it true? For all I know, my life after death could be worse. Many people report hellish NDE experiences. After reading many NDE reports, I have this intuition that suicide in many cases is the too obvious answer. People get lectured in their life reviews telling them how much of a selfish asshole they were etc etc. I think if someone is truly suicidal, they should probably go balls to the wall in spirituality since they have nothing to lose either. My personal theory is that some form of kamma is real. We don't know what any of us did in our past lives but it might come boomeranging back relentlessly. What I think matters is intentions behind suicide. Are they pure? Since most things in the universe are cyclic in some kind of way, it's no wild assumption to also assume birth and death is also cyclic (rebirths). If one's intentions are relatively pure (eg. if one has attained a very high integrated spiritual state but is suffering a terminal illness) then suicide would be considered tbh. If I were to commit suicide, I would settle my business here on earth and repay my debts to society, my family and others who have helped me. And I would have attained a highly integrated spiritual state which even carries over to my daily life (like an arahant). For me that would be a blameless suicide. Point is, I don't think suicide is the escape most people think it is. Who can prove existence after suicide isn't more suffering than what one intended to escape? Im not some new ager "life is a school!" type either. The suffering is definitely there and it does seem senseless and meaningless for many. But I do think most suicides has some form of metaphysical consequences. For terminal illness and chronic unbearable physical pain, sure I can see why it would be done. For most people I think, mental problems can be worked on and overcome instead of going straight into the deep end and dying. But for many, it does get to that point unfortunately may they rest in peace. - me as a guy who's been suicidal for 5-6 years ever since being a teen actually. My suicidality lessened a lot when I realised my suicide isn't exactly the escape that I romanticised it to be. I have a lot of work to do. If you go hardcore into what buddhism teaches, you may find some satisfying conclusions and answers. Classic buddhism won't alleviate all suffering in this life but it will prevent future suffering from future rebirths.

@Yimpa Could be useful for hearing impaired people too but yea I get what u mean

@tuku747 I used the youtube auto generated transcript. I then used AI to correctly format it into paragraphs with correct spelling, punctuation and grammar. There are a few mistakes in the document though eg. "prophet" instead of "profit" but I think most users will know what was actually meant based on the context.

https://www.mediafire.com/file/7y3o6itgifuomvr/whytruthisthehighestvalueEPUB.epub/file https://www.virustotal.com/gui/file/4f610534517fdfc03f6523c59b854aaa8ad43fc3f45d380eeaa2bb4edb397027?nocache=1 This is for anyone who prefers EPUB over PDF since it is more customisable and is better for E-readers like Kindles. You can customise font size, spacing, margin sizes etc.