Keryo Koffa

So the way we understand psychedelics is really just a substance with a certain structure similar to serotonin activating some of the receptors (mostly 5-HT2A), right? So then that leads to high serotonin activation which I assume changes one's state of mind and interconnects different brain regions. Well, how about deliberately doing the opposite and using a substance that for a similar duration blocks or limits serotonin activation instead. That would probably put oneself into a low energy, despairing, depressive, maybe even psychotic state of mind instead. But then, if you could integrate living at that bad a state into your natural understanding of yourself, that would be extremely powerful. Mapping the change in perception and being able to enter in and out would teach us so much and give us so much resilience if we could bear through it. So we're not just high on psychedelics and open ourselves up to the deepest love and understanding, but also experience the deepest despair, hate and suffering instead to become even more whole and integrate all aspects of ourselves. But that's just crazy talk, right?

Duh! What else are we supposed to do here? It's a forum, meant for communication and exchange of information, particularly of the nature of the subject matter taught by Leo. Attracting individuals interested in this type of discourse, that then get disappointed by their reasonable expectations, granted the whole premise of the existence of this place. As long as we have ego, we keep looking for things, so are you. I have a bias, I have a million biases, that's how I navigate life, that's how I experience reality. Else I wouldn't be alive. We strive to kill our ego to find deeper truth, but truly, we're here for a reason. And that reason is to feel and experience, because that's what we are. And we can go deeper if we want to, and it means the world to do so, but all layers are intertwined and on the layer I am right now, looking for meaningful discussions, I call bs.

It's expectations and I had the same. I wanted quick snappy communication and pointers of guidance, but was left having to filter through it the same way as reddit or any other site. Half of the threads barely seem to fit the the goal of the site and there is so much discussion of culture war, banter, philosophies and sentiments that could long have been condensed and dismissed when actualizing Leo's communicated understanding. So it is annoying and your frustration is real, valid and authentic, but that just means that it's not what you're looking for and you have to be selective by going case by case. But I see that you seek a community to share insights in and get into novel discussions to learn new perspectives, though you might soon realize that's it's just easier to do that head on and just roam the internet specifically for that which you seek to learn or connect to.

I beat depression 2 months ago when I started doing psychedelics. I've lived my entire life at an intense level of self-awareness but wasted it on overthinking and obeying expectations. After high school I wasted 3 years until now on wage slavery in a super market, I was so depressed that I didn't even spend it on anything so now I have resources to invest into myself. I could work at SpaceX or study neuroscience or craft bionic limbs or study neural networks but I have noticed how terrible most jobs and universities are and I can really just learn it all through contacting and freelancing experts and ChatGPT, the internet, Wikipedia, research websites and passion. I want to buy an RV in the future and roam Europe or find a holistic open-minded psychedelic community around the world to live in, be a part of, find love and friendships, be accepted as I am, study all domains of human knowledge in an open discourse and be happy. I want to fully tap into every possible emotion, every variation of perception, every state of mind and slowly integrate it into myself so that eventually I can just enter a psychedelic state naturally and I already integrated many of the insights I made on my last dozen trips into my life to a beautiful degree. I was the most introverted person on this planet until now, so I learned all kinds of philosophies, epistemology and absorbed much knowledge, but I was in the wrong state of mind to be able to integrate and enjoy living by it. I already knew what I needed to do but lacked faith in my own reasoning ability and respect for myself as an individual. The pillars I just came up with to describe how I fundamentally perceive reality are: Awareness: The mere fact of experiencing reality unfold and being aware of oneself doing it, that behind the senses consciously continuously existing. Qualia: Colors, shapes, sensory information, anything that is directly accessible instead of having to be inferred or interpreted from abstract interactions. Emotion: Meaning, empathy, desire, drive, direction. Preferring one state over another. The capability of experiencing the world through body and feeling. Perspective: Interpreting and evaluating certain circumstances through a specific lens. Creating specific distinctions to analyze the world with. Perspectives are arbitrary, they come from a certain grounding but truly there is no right one, everything is infinitely interpretable. Awareness and Qualia are pure First Order phenomena. Emotion comes from a lens but is deeply connected to the body so it's tricky. Perspective is second order, it's how you do science creating models, but it's all just interpretation of your observation, which under psychedelics you can actively see the ability of being able to morph into anything. I know I will find many here with the objective to find absolute truth or harm-reduction disclaimers, but I'm really just looking for topics for me to contemplate and accept my understanding of while in a state of being emotionally and sensory in tune and being able to make the most out of it while having an elevated perspective. I have many desires and preferences, I want to burn through my karma, I want to connect with others, whether they're illusory or not and I haven't truly understood and embodied that proposed insight. I want love and peace, I am nostalgic to the hippy movement of the 60s. I want to learn all about humanity and science. I want to be selfish and selfless, but always myself, whichever that happens to be. I want understanding, I want stimulation, I want experience, I want love, I want to be in tune and use my body and learn its capacities, I want to increase my emotional awareness, I want to refine my reasoning and epistemological understanding. I think to understand Duality and the creation of distinctions and Non-Duality being the infinite undivided field of qualia though I've yet to deeper contemplate its creation and manifestation mechanics. I want someone to talk to and listen to their insights too. I don't want to be alone, I feel existential loneliness, I've felt it my entire life. It is an authentic part of my identity, it existed long before I knew how to communicate. I may be able to let go of it but of of love I never think I will. I am an artist and will create an audiovisual animation at some point which many characters, each a protagonist, each a core aspect of human desire and each filled with life and personality seeking what they lack the most. And it means.