Keryo Koffa

@Salvijus @Princess Arabia I am studying how to keep my sanity no matter the circumstance

I now am, every time I trip, I go haywire and I'm transcending the kneejerk reaction of my amygdala so I can hold everything in a superposition. It's all fun and games until you go meta. I know it's getting tiring, I am however integrating this and each meta reaction on the go, I wonder how much further I can get, the map is not the territory, I am experiencing the territory too. Hmm, I'm getting more balanced and more saturated. Hope you had a good laugh, arabic princess.

@Princess Arabia They are and its fun, overclocking my brain is driving me nuts, I realize I'm playing a game of distractions, the screen contains a million interconnected pointers from which information can be inferred and so does every inch of one's vision and brain and consciousness. I am practicing both extremes of calmness and insanity simultaneously. It's exciting and humbling. And Not-Knowing Increases as the knowing within it. I thank you for your reply, I am becoming far more direct, yet realizing all the synchronicities beyond. I'm trying to ride the dragon and relax at the same time, there's not enough time in the world and meditation is important too, tuning into universal frequency of awareness.

Yes, thank you, I love you.

@Lila9 The problem is I agree, and at the same time we are an infinite prism that reflects the infinite light of god in its own distinct limited/unlimited color, I wonder how to navigate new insights, detachment is freedom, response-ability is agency, I seek to learn more.

"and then we can go full range accelerationism ai-singularity to override the broken system and accelerate change and take away control from our too slowly evolving mokey brains ego games throwing shit at each other and watching the world burn meanwhile being maximally discontent with our petty relational social games game theory dynamics random partying and alcohol self-abuse shit in the toilet absurd stupidity that our culutre is indoctrinating everyone into capitalism to feel good about ourselves and lower our faculties which left to their own devices would have solved world hunger and humanitie's problems eons ago if we didn't need cheap vietnam t-shirts and stupid war drama to distract us from the fact that the earth is dying and we're caught up in ideology, religion virtue signaling, drama, capitalism, scientism academic bs studies advancing physics instead of morals and self-awareness, and demonizing anything that actually raises our consciousness, I'm out" Yeah, not my proudest reply but I did mean it Help me transcend my ego and be more compassionate?

Experiences can be tuned in and out of awareness to infinite complexity and depth. One might say, that's easy because everything is imaginary but oh my god. Computers were not fast enough so we had Moore's law, now we carry them in our pockets (smartphones, smart phones, heh). But we evolve our brains, they're energy storage in matter, but that's just a holarchy inside consciousness that I assume I need to navigate reality and it seems to make sense. We create external technology, maybe it's to keep pretending we have individuality, though our own body is that same technology with the same purpose, why not accelerate that? But aren't we just dodging the truth and hive mind, collective, omni-versal public unconscious, why not just synchronize with that and how do I do it faster?

I finally managed to obtain 100mg of 5-MeO-DMT, but it's not as reality shattering as I expected it to be, maybe I'm just not dosing it right... 5mg Boof: nothing much, except the burn up my ass and the wall texture looking a bit sharper 10mg Boof: feel like I'm dozing off, I lie down, feel very overwhelmed, but I find a trick, I just empty my mind and feel fine 20mg Boof: feel overwhelmed, then empty my mind, then just feel light headed, everything looks normal, reflections are more noticeable 6mg Smoked: stronger than boofing, shorter though, manageable, nothing special 12mg Smoked in three hits: stronger effect, noticeable body load, chest feels softer, but I easily keep all the context in the background Had few more trials with similar results, am left with 10mg. What it taught me: to let go of the monkey chatter brain, but that's kind of it. I had profound experiences with other psychedelics though: 75g of truffles: disintegrating, immense organic worlds, speedrun personal meaning, visualize and annihilate ego distractions, become nothing 300mg of lsd: with chanting and great effort I stabilize vision into a fractal pattern and barely glimpse what others call a dmt entity ketamine + 4-aco-det + 5-meo-mipt: feels like kundalini release, my voice becomes untampered, I feel authentically myself for the first time in my life, I face the fear of solipsism and loneliness, maintaining and integrating the level of overstimulation I feel I feel like some of the experiences I wound have had on 5-meo or n,n I experienced through taking the equivalent of 15g of shrooms. I also had many more hyper-heroic dose experiences that left me lying down for hours disoriented and overstimulated. By now I learned the actual feeling of resistance thanks to actual 5-meo and wonder how far I can now push it. But then again, I feel like if I don't focus on anything, there's no trip, if I just lie down and wait, not much happens, maybe that's the point, there's nothing and I set the objective, though I would really like to see some aliens and spirits that I don't have to intently focus into existence in a way that's indistinguishable from impressioned intentful daydreaming, even in my largest trips, it always felt like I was doing the imagining and it was a conscious effort, I really just wanted to be taken away by the experience without having to imagine it myself. At the same time, I got many really weird ideas and vibes that I would not have come up with by myself, so maybe that process of receiving these ideas and directions is exactly the thing outside of myself that I am looking for. It's just kind of anti-climactic having to visualize it all myself, I feel like I only get vibes and ideas, while others describe getting whole video-streams through automatic open and closed eye visuals. I don't think I've ever gotten open eye visuals except becoming aware of the innate details of my environment or the floor looking and feeling uneven or leaf dense trees looking fractalized when staring at them for long, or the shape of the spacing between their branches giving me alien vibes, or multiple trees when focused upon looking like they're made of humans in different poses forming a type of spheroid arena around me with a 50m radius. Where I'm at right now: I realized today that the perceiver is nothing, since every thing is perceived and by virtue of being perceivable is not the perceiver itself. Maybe there isn't even a perceiver but don't push me, I don't feel it yet, I move my hand and feel the intentionality. Yet there is no seeing, just sight, no hearing, just sound, no being aware, just awareness being itself and somehow all linked by consciousness, some kind of aether substrate of it all. Where is the feeling of I/me? What is it even? I'm still figuring that out, got any good guiding questions? I often feel inhabited by spirits or energies but feel like I need to put in energy to express it all and so the distinction between them and me is unclear, getting a feed of visuals sure would be easier but that only happened once with closed eyes. Even on 20x salvia, plants start looking extra 3d and have copper like metalic texture but no actual weird visuals, I feel super light and energized and am compelled to walk like a funky egyptian, I get thoughts like "just remember, if a tiger attacks you, it's probably not real" and I feel strong deja-vu but no actual concrete visuals, like I'm given vague impressions and have to create a script or play based of them myself, really anti-climactic. Oh, and dissociatives make my body completely relaxed and I feel like I'm made of rubber and my mind also takes on elastic properties and my intuition is supercharged, I can instantly learn new concepts effectively and all videos I look at look like they're really dumb, the people in them sound like 3rd graders and I can instantly filter out the messages and intents and just "get it". Doing things feels simpler, I set the intent and my body and mind work on their own, it's like the ego was actually an obstruction that creates confusion and drama and without it I can just innately get things, figure them out and do them and everything seems so easy like I'm the one overcomplicating it. High doses make render me unfunctional though, until the come down which is amazing. I also tried HHC edibles to see what happens, they brought out anxiety from my childhood, I remembered a lot of things I left behind and wanted to forget, it made me glad because I wondered what I've been doing all my life feeling insecure in my current self and now I became conscious of what that was, all the trauma I went through and know the answer. Ever since it's just disorienting though. CBD is relaxing but kind of weak, I might have to judge it in context as a combo with psychedelics. TLDR; 5-meo didn't affect me as much as I thought, should just have boofed it all at once, but in retrospect other trips might have had a similar quality and I'm really just jealous of everyone else auto open-eye visual hallucinating cool things into existence.

@Jehovah increases Thank you, lightbringer!

@shree Not yet, I only have 10mg left and haven't found more to buy. I'm saving it up and trying to supplement it with other psychedelics and dissociatives, their combination united with concentration, meditation and yoga. After all, even Leo keeps having infinite subsequent 5-MeO awakenings. I'm trying to shortcut it somehow

I'd say it's an ever rising sine wave, ups and downs, gradual increases, as you learn how to reconcile bliss with daily life or change your daily life accommodate bliss but either way look to bridge ever greater awareness of the absolute with your relative

@Ishanga He's a legend. He's also lived like two or three lifetimes prior to set it all up, he even chose what womb to reincarnate in and to change his personality to suit current circumstances and to guide humanity instead of madasamadhi. Massive role model, I mean it!

@Jehovah increases To enjoy and explore experience and because I want to exist, is my best current intuition

@Jehovah increases I feel bliss when I expand my awareness and that's what I refer to with "transcending my ego". I do and thank you, learning is key, though that is what I'm doing, I guess my posts is part of the form it takes, an expression of my implicit transformation.

I found the perfect way to encapsulate it! My amazement, fascination, awestruck. I'm basically juggling a hundred things at once. But that's like the prerequisite for any artist. That's Rick and Morty in a nutshell. That's Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Every frame a meme. I communicate in memes. The DNA of the Soul. Have you noticed every Jojo's Part perfectly corresponds to a Spiral Dynamics stage, Part 9 is being released, Stage Coral, Morty! Stage Coral! It’s a miracle that curiosity can survive formal education. Synchronicity's made the world go round. Every atosecond, every particle in the universe is an infinite Synchronicity. Can you count the number of objects lying around in your house? This was yesterday's realization: "psychedelics on the other hand expand one's mind and disrupt beliefs manifesting self-limited consistent reality and revealing synchronicities while dissociatives lower awareness and allow the subconscious to take over reality by introducing fog which obscures ones surroundings and allows progress to take place outside one's awareness and to navigate it more intuitively, psychedelics add power while dissociatives take away control, they inflect into the same realizations and dynamics" Think about this: Light and Darkness, the basis of reality, darkness obscures, light creates awareness and its own forms, physical and non-physical, and God is Light and beyond light, but is he darkness, or does he just use it as a canvas like an Artist, the primordial fifth element, Akash? I wanna meet the Machine Elves

@Danioover9000 @Princess Arabia @Yimpa @integral @Paradoxed @enchanted @Zigzag Idiot This is the most sappy thing I ever wrote. My emotional regulation circuits are back online, the cringe inhibitors have been reactivated and embarrassment levels are skyrocketing. Even though a part of me really meant it and still believes it, hey screw it, I'm still that part just with expanded perception. Oh my god, oh me god, what am "I" doing, stop being so "meta", me! Ugh?! Forget it, or don't, I don't know, this is weird. Can someone slap some sense into me through the screen or teach me how I can imagine you doing that to the same level of immersion as my current experience? Well, I don't know what to say amymore. Am I laughing or crying, eh, it's fine, I'm fine. I'm God. Hi God, I'm Human. Lalalalala. Deep Breaths, please calm down, Amygdala. Left nose, right nose hole, says Sadhguru. Where do I begin? Beginning is imagination, wake up. Transcend and include, stop thinking, start living, you're playing a game with yourself, the forum is a wall and you're trowing a ball at it, bouncing back and catching it again. I'm not even tripping, now I'm naturally psychedelic. That's what they call Yoga. Why do you always need the last word? It's fun, I am having fun, no need to be explicit, infinity is within. Shut up now, self, ego, god, pointers, distractions, hyperventilation, reality so awake, it feels like every cell of my body is popping out. Don't worry, I'm fine, I can control this, I can ride the dragon. I'm just crazy, but have you considered the alternative interpretation? Thanks, Leo. Don't worry, I'm just practising my meta-humor, maybe.

@Razard86 Isn't part of responsibility advancing and engaging others in expanding their awareness to the best of one's ability to better their and all lives? How does perspective morph that? How does relativity affect its own epistemology, values and goals? Did I write the previous sentence as an ego defense mechanism or is assuming that itself a distraction? Can you answer my questions?

@Javfly33 Hmm, but I don't read your thoughts, I still see a screen, I am aware of interpreting my perception, I do not yet realize the mechanisms that contextualize it although I infer that the same self writing is the same self creating its and all experience. I don't seem to be able to morph my perception to instantaneously visit Kailash for example to the same depth I now see this screen. Advice?

@Javfly33 Ultimately, it is realizing the transcendent perspective which clears one's vision to gain the choice, right? I'm still here so I have not experientially realized it yet, I have desires, should I just let go? Then again, you all are here also...

And I feel proud for speaking my mind, actually in real life and including myself in my criticism and catching myself I feel this is a distraction from actually doing the change itself, instead of preaching/hypocrisy and ruining my reputation I feel the rant was misplaced and compassion would have been a better option and fundamentally a better value I'm also devaluing the effects of war from my priveledged position and ignoring the suffering in the rant, which is cruel I might also have delusions of grandeur and being too simplistic, I do forgive myself for my previous ignorance also and no grudges Anything more to add?

@Jehovah increases Itself, my consciousness, the pointed to direct experience that I am distracting myself with this reply and forum post from?

The wind speaks

They expand your awareness and get you closer to the source of infinite health and intelligence, at the expense of our desires, drives and beliefs, whose momentum shape this reality. The pendulum swing creates ego-backlash, as one has to reconcile the newly gained freedom with the loss of the structures that imposed and desired themselves into perception and identity.

I've been integrating/transcending/deconstructing/accelerating in my quest for holistic understanding. I keep acquiring and intuitively navigating ever higher layers of abstraction. I've been researching and experientially awakening to entire fields of principles in the nature of: Epistemology, Metaphysics, Thought and Cognitive Biases, Emotional Mastery and Navigation, Meditation, Concentration Art, Philosophy, Science, Game Theory, Technology, Society, Culture, Technology, Economy, Ecology, Systems Thinking Spirituality, Esotericism, Psychedelics, Dissociatives, Yogic Traditions, Gnosticism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity Channeling, Ra and Seth Material, Alchemy, Hermetic Principles, Chakras, DMT Realm, NDEs, ESP And each trip, I realize how little I know and how many Synchronicities there are connecting all these domains. Without awakening and accelerating through trips, I would be stuck figuring out one narrow domain for years, now I can do it in a day, it leads to a paradigm expansion each time, only to realize the scope and magnitude of what I don't know. And not-knowing itself expands in magnitude and the not knowing of what I'm not knowing I can know. I've been selfish in the past but now I know I was not selfish enough. I was altruistic in the past and now I know I was not altruistic enough, both extremes simultaneously ought to be maximized and transcended. My Practicality exponentiates through Esotericism, and my Esotericism exponentiates through Practicality. The external world appears too slow to gain experience in and at the same time I have to keep up with the technological singularity. What advice can you give me?

You can frame it in a more positive, humorous light, it's an equally valid perspective You can also see it as change / cessation / transcendence / expansion / dissolution / shift of focus / change of perspective. You can also perceive it as a shift in identity / a haircut / pruning tree branches / getting new clothes / moving house / going on vacation / a new job / making new friends / going to party / upgrading your PC / cleaning yourself of mud with a shower / taking a dump (a massive ego-dump) XD. You can also realize it as quitting a toxic relationship / setting boundaries / taking action / lifting weights / change of lifestyle / healthy habits. Those were all positive framings, but it can also be experienced in a negative light, so its important to be aware and know why. You can feel it as nostalgia / missing an ex, even if they were abusive / being homesick / the loss of a parent / having a tornado sweep your home away / being alienated from the people around you / being promoted after having gotten cozy in your position / you and your friend going to a different college after high school / long term relationships / leaving your family behind as you go into space as an astronaut / missing your childhood and hometown / having the favorite flavor of your favorite food disappear and be replaced / having somebody destroy your long gathered collection or the sand castle you spent so much effort on / feeling alone and lonely / feeling abandoned, forgotten, left behind, ignored / being forsaken by god / entering hell / panicking / massive discomfort / being an alien / being stranded on a deserted island not knowing if help is coming. So then most importantly, it's how you integrate your understanding/perspectives/experiences into your deeper awareness, to mitigate panic during trips. Your essence is beyond life and death but do take care of your body, it's your temple and made of love Fear is vanity but caution is wise, here's no benefit in panic, a greater explorative awareness is a better choice You are Love. You deserve Happiness. You're doing the Best you're currently Capable of. You are an Expression of the Infinite. You have Agency. Fall in Love with what you Choose to Engage in. Surrender to intuitive Flow. Your Journey is about Liberation from Limitations, not about perpetuating Suffering or Hardship. This journey is uniquely yours to cherish and unfold. When you Realize the Vanity of your Pursuit, you'll stop asking questions and start having fun Transcend and include, all perspectives exist in a web. Any duality can be united. You can transcend the spectrum of experience and get to its essence, instead of aiming for maximum joy, truth, purpose, you can become their essence itself, including the whole thing inside yourself and understanding it in and out, though you can always contextualize and expand your awareness further. You are your beliefs and you have the power to change and determine them. Anything is possible and you access it with higher awareness and faith in yourself. Your doubt itself limits your experience and creates the life you have. This is all tricky, as your own paradigm-lock will prevent you from even seeing others beyond it, that would give you the agency to choose, that's why deconstruction/concentration/meditation/contemplation/yoga are important. "Ego-Death" itself is a valid perspective, the ego dies, but your essence doesn't die, you liberate it and gain greater awareness of both the previous ego and its opposite duality. You get to choose, you expand your autonomy, you transcend paradigms, your life when integrated holistically will turn to the better, if you're not lost in backlash and work through it. Just like lifting weights will give you soreness but leave you stronger, how solving a puzzle is frustrating but grows you, how emotional labor makes you suffer but gain greater appreciation, awareness and perspective.