Vali2003

I will try to write more beautifully in this journal, as time goes on, but for now gaining consistency is my main goal. I will do at least 2 entries per week. The plan is to do this over several years, and actually document my full journey of escaping wage slavery first, then finding my Life Purpose and building that up until I can live from it.

Speaking honestly, and transparently about my current degree has been easier for me the last couple of days. Normally I’d be ashamed about it, and be overwhelmed with regret. I would avoid the topic, or simply be dishonest when it came up. It came up so many times the last couple of days, it’s funny. Maybe it reflects that I’m thinking about it more and therefore bring it up more often or lead conversations there. I even spoke about it with a stranger at a fast food spot, lol.

@sholomar Your last sentence is empirically false. As you get older, you lose more and more muscle, which is why it get’s more important to workout. Otherwise you’ll become injured really quickly. I think with the help of fascia training, it will become possible to remain physically healthy and athletic for much longer than is currently thought to be possible. Because as we get older the fascia in our body loses structure, loses stiffness, which makes it easier for the fascia to entangle, hence forming adhesions. This can turn into pain, compensation patterns which lead to injuries, general stiffness maybe feeling less effortless in movement too. Now, it’s not proven yet that fascia training can reverse that, but I’ve felt the effects in my own body. At the beginning, my calf’s, glutes and quads felt absolutely riddled with adhesions. I could feel the entangled structure of my fascia. Now it has completely remodeled. It feels smooth when I roll over it now and pain free. Fascia remodels along the lines of tension (which is why it’s common sense that movement will actually improve yourself health, cause it keeps your fascia healthy), and the training that I do has found by far the most effective way to induce tension into your fascia, and remodel it holistically throughout the entire body.

I definitely see the distinction you’re describing now. I’ll try sprinting like you say, to drive the understanding home. It is true that my weightlifting is always mind-heavy. I’m not sure I know it any other way if I’m Being honest. I always tried to perfect my technique — and that’s a never ending pursuit because you can always tweak little things.

I had a good insight yesterday, while listening to Leo's motivational speech from 2021, which partly freed me from a load that's been bearing heavy on me for the last few years. I realized I haven't experienced enough of life to know my Life Purpose, which leads me to a problem. I get enarmoured by ideas about all kinds of things. Becoming a musician? That must be amazing! Becoming a tech-entrepreneur? Fantastic. Marine biology? tell me more. I hear about something interesting and directly, I create an idealized vision of what life would be like if I realized that. All without an inch of actual experience. This leads me to become like a leaf in the wind, which blows in the direction of my newest vision. Now to the part where that realization freed me. It's simple. I realized I just need more experience in these things. No need to become fully emerged in those things. I believe doing a thirty day challenge, where I complete a small project in Computer Science, would tell me if this is for me or not. And would free me from my ever-present FOMO. All I need to do is write up maybe the top 5 things that are most intriguing to me and create small projetcts for each of them, and follow through on them. This would tell me my domain of mastery (which is the part of Life Purpose I struggle with the most). I just realized that Leo actually tells us to do that in the Life Purpose Course. I couldn't see the truth in it, though, when I completed it...

I also realized, though, that life is about to get serious very soon. I realized that I can't -- and don't want to -- live of my dad's money forever. I'll have to get a job, build a business, or find some way to fend for myself. Now there's a decision coming up. How do I realize that? And not only how do I get a high-paying job, or business, but how do I get that while also thinking ahead in the future. I don't want a high-paying job. I want freedom that will help me self-actualize. Freedom, that will allow me to experience more of life, so I can continually edge further towards my Life Purpose. But to be honest, I also want money. I want material success so my father is proud of me. I want it so my brothers are impressed with me. And people in general. I'm aware this is a trap. But I'm not sure this will stop me from walking into it. Concretely these are the two main choices I face now: I could pursue a new degree in something pragmatic, like computer science, or some engineering degree. I could just finish my bachelor's degree, go all in with the business I'm building right now (I'll talk more about that business later), and get a part-time job to cover my finances while I try to build up the business. Number one would give me the recognition I crave so much. It also could form a good basis for a business -- especially computer science, I think. It would also be safe. I'm also in a very privileged postion where my dad would pay the tuition and costs of living for me. For the most part at least. Geez, I notice how easy I have it, just out of pure luck, and yet I sometimes feel like I've already messed up my life. Number two would be quite risky and would expose me to a lot of experience, which is good. But it would also be the one where I'd disappoint my father the most.

Some stuff about my current situation: I live in Germany, am 22 years old at the moment, and I'm almost finished with a bachelor's degree in cultural studies. I regret having gone for cultural studies, but it's only one more year so I'll just finish it now. I regret it, since it doesn't really contribute to my survival. In terms of career, this degree is pretty much useless. I think I regret the title of this journal too. lol. I could've come up with something sexier. Anyways, haha I used the imperfect title as an excuse not to start the journal so I just chose something. It feels a bit like having wasted precious time with the cultural studies degree. I could have done something really valuable with my life in that time. I could've done Computer Science. I'm not sure I'd be passionate about that, but at least it aids survival. Also doing cultural studies is hard on my ego. Everytime someone asks me what I do, I cringe. I avoid these talks, since it reminds me of the uselessness of the degree. I also avoid them, because I know other people think it's useless. I know they think "damn... what's this kid gonna do for a job with this useless ass degree?" And that hurts me. I crave people's recognition too much. I also know my dad thinks it's absolutely useless. And they're right. It is useless in terms of career. But I wasn't thinking about that when I chose it. How foolish. It's not like I spent the last two years doing nothing though. Actually, knowing I'm not doing something pragmatic gave me the motivation to at least excel at it. I have a lot of ambition. There are many positives about the last two years: I wasted less time than ever before on instagram, youtube, drinking, going out, partying, smoking weed I spent more time than ever reading books and doing personal development stuff Moving out and away from my mom (about 7 hours distance by car) helped my personal development My uni and degree is very stage green and I managed to open up to it. I learned a lot about the good and bad sides of stage green, and integrated a decent amount of that, I think. I'm also at the point now though, where I'm sick of some of stage green's facets from a higher, not lower perspective I had health problems (injury in my groin since I was 16), which I managed to completely resolve I got a lot better at basketball which isn't super important but was fun I learned a lot about how to study effectively and got good grades Also, I actually enjoyed the studies quite a bit, but I realized my Life Purpose doesn't lie there I developed a passion for writing My passion for understanding, studying, thinking increased

I notice there's a lot of resistance within me about being completely honest. But there's something powerful about being brutally honest with yourself and transparent, knowing there are people watching.

What's fast and forceful about letting the barbell fall on your chest on the eccentric of a benchpress? That was how I meant it. I understood what you describe as "the spirit of good moving through me" as what happens while I try to push the weight away from me with my last bit of power. So for me there was no contradiction. But I see the "face punching" distinction, I think. You mean, controling the eccentric control in this way pierces through the constant "face punching" vibe you want during a work out, right? I can't quote the other parts of your answer normally for some reason... I don't think I understand the distinction you make of it being the difference between punching someone vs. being punched. Being punched is a very kind of emasculating feeling. It feels like your boundaries have gotten seriously violated. I cannot line this feeling up in any way -- it's obvious you mean it more in terms of the direction, but even that way I can't understand it -- with controlling the eccentric and punctuating the deep stretch of an exercise. It's just peaks and valleys for me while lifting. It's like a spring loading, before it releases (or tries to in the case of lifting) the energy and springs up. The eccentric creates tension, because I know it will be difficult to move the weight, and the concentric is the release of that tension. This doesn't feel like a "neurotic self-inflicted torture technique" to me. Actually, I find the contrast of the eccentric (tension) and the concentric (release) turns the concentric into an even bigger flow state experience than it'd otherwise be. You're strawmanning my argument now, cmon. I am speaking from experience... Working out by punctuating the deep stretch was so much more effective than how I worked out before. I'd get sore after every single workout, even after working out consistently for several months. All with less joint pains, even though I did a larger range of motion than before on pretty much every exercise. It is "harder," but the rest of your points are fair. This is a more holistic picture of training. If concentrating on things like this negates the mental effects, then I think it's smart not to focus too much on controlling the eccentric or the deep stretch. One more thing. I believe you have an exaggerated picture in your mind of what it means to "control the eccentric." And I think this is the thing that bothers you the most about what Dr. Mike preaches. But "control" doesn't mean that you must have a 5 second descent. It just means that you should control the weight on the way down. Control just means not letting gravity do the task for you. Sam Sulek, in the video you show, also controls the weight. And this can be done much quicker than most people would think. So I believe it doesn't even contradict the "face punching" vibe you aim for all that much. The deep stretch is something different. And I think it can be added into the face punching vibe, without negating anything else, while increasing hypertrophy, no?

@Carl-Richard You misunderstand the type of lifting Dr.Mike proposes (I can’t speak directly Jeff Nippard as I didn’t watch a lot of his videos). He doesn’t say that you should go extremely slow on the eccentric. Just slow enough that you actually control the weight, rather than let it fall down. Obviously, this is different if you do powerlifting. The thing that he preaches the most in my experience is emphasizing the deep stretch of the muscle and maybe pausing there for a moment. Doing this has made my training so much more effective it’s incredible. If you understand the principle of stretching your muscle to its limits, the effectiveness of weight training takes off. At least it was like this for me. When I did this (I’m currently not weightlifting), I had to do less total sets per workout with less weight and got much more muscle stimulation. The reason most people don’t train like this is not because it’s boring, it’s because it’s actually harder and more painful to do. You lean into the growth-inducing pain this way. Also, you’re wrong in that it goes against what your body tells you to do, if what your body tells you to do is lift the weight super fast and forcefully. You can still do that on the concentric? And I always did it, because it’s fun and feels nice, like you described. Dr.Mike doesn’t at all speak out against it too. You should look at some of his old leg-training videos with guests on his YT. I’ll link a good one. The intensity is brutal there so I don’t think your description or perception is accurate here. I agree with you that you should listen to your body. Some people follow the advice blindly, try to lift “scientifically” and end up wasting their gym time in the name of science. It’s obviously fine if you don’t enjoy lifting like that, but if you want to maximize hypertrophy, that’s the way to go speaking from my experience. https://youtu.be/7Nhb7-zaws8 I don’t see this lacking the “the spirit of god moving through them” workout energy.

@Recursoinominado dude… this story sounds absolutely incredible.

@Natasha Tori Maru Is there a specific reason you take 10g as opposed to 5g for example? I’ve been seeing it more often lately that people advocate for a higher dosage of creatine than is usually recommended (by the scientific consensus). What’s the rationale behind that?

I don’t have any smoking-specific advice since I’m not a smoker. But I’d say first, your intention to stop smoking must be really strong. Then you use whatever method/tricks seem best for you, and try to quit. I think it’s normal that you will fail quitting many times until you don’t and actually quit. This is good, though. Each time you fail, you will learn new things that trip you up, which you can then solve for. I remember Leo saying somewhere that most people just don’t try things often enough. They lose hope after they try 2 or 3 times. The key is to keep going, and improve each time. At some point you’ll figure it out!

@Sugarcoat Yes. It made think about what a cushioned, lucky privileged life I have. It’s a remarkable story, no wonder it has like 100K ratings on Amazon. I’m not a big fan of his philosophy on a societal level (everybody’s responsible for themselves, conservative type of talking point), but on a personal level, the book empowered me to take more responsibility for my life. Great read, honestly.

@Sugarcoat It’s a fun read. His life story is absurd.

@Basman Of course, a mostly healthy and functional body is a base-requirement to do any kind of athletics. I’m saying there’s a deeper level than having a functional body or not. That, within this range of functional bodies, there’s a something (fascia tensegrity strength) that gives the best of the best, the (huge) edge over the rest. And that this thing matters much more than hard work. Because hard work is easy if your body is like this, it’s fun. The problem is, the term “fascia tensegrity strength” is useless since it means nothing to most — again, lack of reference experience. I tried really hard right now to find a suitable metaphor to explain what it feels like, but it’s so difficult. You gotta imagine. When I shoot a jump shot now, or run, or jump, I first feel my abs contract. Then I feel how my abs pull on my glutes which activates them, since they’re connected through fascia. If I’m doing a movement with my upper body too, like throwing a punch for example, or pushing somebody, the energy will transfer to my upper body — coming from the glutes and abs. When I walk, I feel the tensegrity structure throughout my whole body. My feet activate, my glutes activate, my abs activate which are connected to my lats, my lips seal shut automatically. It feels a little bit like a shoelace being tightened, throughout my entire body. Maybe that gives you some sense of what I mean by tensegrity structure. It’s nothing that most people have come into contact with before. About the example. You’re right that it’s not perfect. But I think the argument that she beats boys her age just cause she’s been groomed to be an athlete from the onset is a relatively weak argument. There are many parents who want their kids to be a star athlete and train them from young age. I don’t think this would make up the difference that’s between them in terms of muscular strength. But maybe she only fights really amateur boys. But then, again, there aren’t many other girls — if any — who do this.

@Sugarcoat There were some strategies in his book on how to endure pain, and push through it, but I don’t remember all. One of them was to remember a past moment when you pushed through something that first seemed impossible/really difficult to do, as a reminder that you can do it again. I found that quite effective, but haven’t used in a while.

This is another misconception that people have about pro-athletes. They think that pro athletes just work inhuman amount of hours and that is what separates them from other, less successful, athletes. But the truth is, it’s not them being able to endure working so hard that makes them better. It’s their bodies’ ability to put in thousands and thousands of hours and reps without breaking down, which obviously turns them into way better athletes over time. Other people also attempt to do this, but their bodies just can’t take the load, and sooner or later the injuries start piling up. You see, when you are less fascia driven (less holistic), 1) Your body will fatigue quicker as you’re using more energy and less elastic recoil. For example, your shoulder muscle will be fatigued, when shooting jump shots. For a fascia driven athlete this doesn’t happen even closely to the same extent. The energy, even for a jump shot, comes from the abs, lats, and glutes. I can shoot hundreds of jumpshots without fatiguing. Traditional biomechanics paint an incomplete picture that doesn’t account for differences in fascial tensegrity strength. 2) As your fascia works less optimally, with every rep you put in, energy will leak at your ankles, tibialis, hips, knees and your joints will suffer more and more. I wanted to say something else, I think, but I forgot what.

@Sugarcoat Pushing hard opens some doors for sure. I remember after I read this one book of David Goggins, I think Can’t Hurt Me, we had a plank challenge with my basketball team that we were supposed to practice for that summer. The winner got some reward. I didn’t practice a single time and was able to last like 7 minutes, just by being able to endure the pain. I lost the challenge, but was quite shocked by how far you can go just by enduring pain.

@Rigel Please expand on how cardio makes caffeine better. I don’t mind a little bit of cardio, so I’m interested… I’m not rich. I‘d get 90 capsules each 200mg for 15€ + 5€ shipping costs. You have a point about it just being another bill. Partly, wanting to buy this comes from the urge to just buy something, and engage with the spiral dynamics stage orange fantasy of finding some productivity hack that propels me to the riches. But also, it may not be that deep . You’re wrong about it just being placebo though. Research shows there are statistically significant effects of L-Theanine on humans.

That’s what I thought as well, although 100mg caffeine may be a bit too strong for me. It’s crazy. If I drink a small coffee (~60mg caffeine) in the morning, I’ll still clearly feel the effects of it 4-5 hours after the intake. And some of my friends and my siblings say they don’t notice anything from coffee. I make sure never to consume caffeine after noon, so it’s completely out of my system when I go to sleep. I’ve never tried CBD oil, but I’m interested in trying it with caffeine. The anxiety really is annoying. Only thing is, like you say, that it’s a bit pricey.

@Joshe I don’t know what modafinil is, but that sounds interesting. I definitely notice a productivity/concentration boost from caffeine but since I react quite strongly to it, I also get jittery and a bit ungrounded. I tried finding L-Theanine in my city, but no store had it, so I’ll probably order it online.

@integration journey yes, what?

@Sugarcoat yeah probably plays a role, especially in things like ultramarathon running. Still, speaking from experience, I know that being able to push through discomfort and exhaustion is pretty much impossible — for most people — if you feel that your knee is gonna blow out, ankle gonna twist, lower back acting up or something similar like that. So your fascia fitness plays a big role, still.

@Schizophonia I don’t know. I feel the pain, and overcoming your limits is actually a big reason why people like running.