Vali2003

Your emotions are your emotions. It’s really difficult/impossible to get an accurate answer about that from an external source. Any answer that comes from the external will be insufficient and unsatisfying in the end. I would recommend you to contemplate why you feel this way. This way you can get to them bottom-line of this emotional reaction. Basically the base-beliefs that are creating it. For an in-depth explanation of how to do this you’d have to read Peter Ralston’s “The Book of Not Knowing.” But here’s the 80/20 of the technique. Bring to mind the emotion you’re working on (feeling triggered by your mom). And try to recreate that feeling in your experience. Try to hold it as a constant in your state without getting distracted. Ask yourself why you feel this way. By asking this, you create not-knowing. Be careful not to fill this space up with instinctive mind-chatter. Bathe in the feeling of not-knowing and stay with it, continuously asking why you feel this way. Try to feel into the emotion and penetrate into it to discover the answer. At some point you will get a deeper realization / a deeper truth of why you feel this way. Always hold on to your deepest realization and each time, you reach a new level, start asking again and go even deeper. At some point you will arrive at the bottom-line of the belief. Which is when you’ll have your ultimate answer as to why you feel that way.

@Ishanga The “living in the now” one reminded me of the “Conversations with God” cover style.

The covers are beautiful. How did you create them?

@Michal__ Good tips! I’m not trying to lucid dream anymore, but if I happen to get one randomly, I’ll try to remember. Sadly, when I had lucid dreams more often 3-4 years ago, I mostly never got past the first 30-40 seconds. My longest one was roughly a minute. I always got way too excited right away.

There’s nothing wrong with your posts but you only have twelve so far. Growing a following takes time and consistency. Try to make one post everyday for 90 days at least before you worry about not growing enough. I think reels work better than normal pictures. If you don’t want to do reels I’d do carousels. Trying to sell from instagram posts right away to coaching is pretty difficult. You’ll likely need more goodwill and trust from your audience. You could think about giving away a 1 hour coaching session for free as a lead magnet. Then try to upsell from there after you’ve proven your competence. If this doesn’t work try to do complete coaching programs with people 100% free. Use this to improve your coaching and collect testimonials. Then make instagram posts using your testimonials getting people to sign up for the 1 free hour of coaching lead magnet and sell from there. It’s good that you have a lot of experience with LDs. But your potential customers believe YOU much less than they do other customers. That’s why it’s important to get testimonials. Look at what topics other people in the LD/OBE are posting and which topics/ questions go viral most often. Use these for posts. You have to think in terms of problems. Which problems do lucid dream beginners encounter? Lead with that. I know for example that I always used to struggle with stabilizing my LDs. You could use that as a hook. For example: ‘Struggle stabilizing your Lucid dreams?’ in a reel. Watch Alex Hormozi’s free $100M offers and $100M Leads courses and take notes on everything. Also watch his YT videos on social media.

Read this book and implement the strategies. Getting good grades in college isn’t too hard if you really try. The book should help you plenty. However, it’s more helpful for non-technical degrees but still good for technical ones too.

@Majed What kind of OCD do you have and how did the medication change it? My girlfriend also had OCD but hers has sort of gone away/transitioned into an anxiety disorder. I agree with you on Leo‘s blogpost.

I think the term ‘submissive’ maybe has some unhelpful connotations. I associate it with domination. But as far as I understand you don’t mean this. You said you’d like her to be like a girl is to her father — or that this is a desirable quality — and, actually I think I agree. And I think that some women or maybe most women like to be ‘submissive’ in that sense. This is just me speaking from my relationship-experience though. When I feel most secure in myself and most masculine then I do naturally guide my girlfriend through adventures in this frame. But it has no ‘dominating’ quality at all and no tyrannical quality at all which I think is what men fall into most often when they try to be like that. They have this image that they HAVE to be this super masculine person and their girlfriend should always be in their frame. And this view just leads to suffering because it won’t always be like this. In some cases my girlfriend is just a better leader or decision-maker than me. And for a while I saw this as wrong and would feel emasculated when it happened and I’d actually tell her that sometimes and ask her if she could not do that hahahah. I think, realistically, in a relationship you can’t be the leader in all domains. It’s just not likely. And if you try to assert that frame in situations where it’s unnatural then that will be very awkward. So when you think like I did back then, you will — without a doubt — have moments like this where you try to force your masculine frame on situations just cause you’re following an ideal. TL;DR: The problem isn’t with being submissive per Se, but seeing it as a black/white (dominant/submissive) thing which will lead to a lot of suffering. Because it won’t be black. It will be a lot of grey instead.

A woman being obedient as a result of masculine-feminine polarity is a male fantasy as far as I’m concerned that serves the men’s need of feeling ‘good enough.’ I guess some women may be naturally ‘obedient’ or more submissive. And in that case I don’t see a problem with it, I think. Ask yourself this though: If you visualize your girlfriend or your wife (even if you don’t have one) and completely integrate her into your sense of self — meaning you make no difference between her and you — then would you want her to be obedient to you? Would that be the empathetic thing to do? If I imagine this I’d want her to live her wildest dreams. Her being obedient to me would feel like a massacre to her potential and slavery.

I think it’s best to slowly work your way up to 10 hours, developing a strong habit on the way. It’s smart that way because between working 3 hours per day and 10 hours you’ll meet different challenges that need solving. So it’s best to take a gradual approach — as with most things. Another approach would be to put yourself in a situation where you’re forced to work 10 hours or else something bad will happen. This will also work.

I can’t concentrate at all if I listen to music. That’s true for me for every single thing that requires strong concentration. I believe it to be that way for most people. However, many — often as a result of conformity — condition themselves to listen to music when they do anything so they learn to concentrate while listening to music. Maybe some people can concentrate better with music. I don’t know. Probably depends on personality too.

The book "Digital Minimalism" by Cal Newport is a good example of non-conformist media use. Thinking that highlighting/underlining sections in a book will help you remember them is conformity.

Here’s what I think about the critique of postmodernism: It’s from a higher perspective, not a lower. But I was uncertain for quite a while. Honestly, just because, at first impression, she seemed to me like a republican and I judged her/conformed with my liberal bias. Why the critique is from a higher perspective: She explained post-modernism fairly I think and understood it well — although she didn’t go into too much detail about it so it’s hard to know what exactly she thinks about it. She didn’t demonize post-modernism. She understood an important flaw of post-modernism: That it imposes its own “hierarchy” upon different fields although that should be what post-modernism tries to stop. She’s right that assumptions like gender and sex being different shouldn’t be taken for granted. She’s right about objective findings STILL BEING IMPORTANT AND VALID. The findings don’t just change because the narrative did. Old, fundamental research is important. She’s right that ideology infected the field, that’s it’s extremely biased towards liberalism and that it demonizes conservatives — and that all this is horrible for the practice of psychology and creates worse outcomes for patients. She’s also right that not all perspectives are equal. She’s also right that empirical evidence is ABSOLUTELY necessary if psychology actually wants to be a serious and effective field. Generally I think all of what she said about the field of psychology is correct. Although I’m not an expert in psychology so I don’t know. The final reason for why I think it’s a critique from a higher perspective is that she doesn’t disregard all post modernist premises — like it being important to decrease systemic racism. She simply questions the effectiveness of methods we use to “fight” these things. At the beginning I thought she was very creepy and republican, at the end I realized that it was just my stage green acting up. Some points I’d add after reading other comments: She definitely gives stage orange vibes. She probably doesn’t see any validity in postmodernism which would point to a lower perspective. Generally, she doesn’t try to really integrate post modernism into her worldview which, again, would point to a lower perspective. I correct my answer: It’s from a lower perspective, but I do think a lot of the criticisms she brings up are valid.

- Advent calendars are pure conformity - Stretching is conformity to a large degree - Our entire muscle-based dominated understanding of the human body, injuries, pain & athleticism is pure conformity.

Some examples for conformity that came to my mind right now: - Trying to be an ethical or morally good person (I live in a stage green dominated area so I experience this one often) - Sports techniques and strategies. What the best way to hold a darts arrow is, how to shoot a basketball, how to throw a football. - The criteria by which art — for example movies, paintings or writing — is criticized. Assuming that characters need to be consistent in a movie for it to be considered a good movie for instance. In general, not understanding the principle — you could also say, the reality — of what makes a movie good or bad and instead blindly applying concepts like character consistency.

I think this was a masterclass on how to deal with trump by Mamdani. Every time the media asked something aimed at creating conflict, Mamdani circled it back to “points of agreement,” between him and “The President” (which I also think was smart to call him that every time to appeal to his ego). Whether that was to have more affordable rent-prices, lowering the costs of groceries or having peace in the Middle East. He made sure to not give detailed answers, about the mechanisms of how these things would happen. This would have made it more difficult to keep the vibe as peaceful as it was. I also agree that Trump wants to cash in on Zohran’s popularity.

It’s not that bad. It’s really more of a depressive mood, and I wondered about the cause of it. That’s also why I posted in the personal development section and not the mental health section. But thanks for your concern.

I had a fantastic insight by watching a Peter Ralston video on procrastination. I don't remember exactly what he said, but basically it was that when procrastinating we're behaving like a child that acts as though it can't do something even though it definitely could do it. For example, when I'm watching YT and I think ohh, I would love to do some work, but this YT video is just so compelling, I can't bring myself to stop. This is actually false. I can stop, but I just don't want to. I'm lying to myself acting like it's outside of my control, but really, I could just stop. I realized this, and ever since I have much more control or free will if you want to call it that. I can decide to sleep on time, even though I don't feel like it. I can do work even if I don't want to, etc. I just try to see in the moment that I'm averting responsibility to something outside of myself and then I realize I actually can do whatever I want. Sounds great, but ever since I feel a bit depressed. I don't know why. Just like, there's nothing I'm looking forward to. I'm sure it'll pass again, but I thought I would write about it here. Maybe someone here could help me make sense of why this is happening. So what are your thoughts on this?

@Ishanga Yeah, I’m not talking about survival in the sense that I’ll die if I focus more on beingness . It’s more that I’m focused on my business at the moment so I don’t want to spread myself too thin and have several big objectives at the same time. There’s some monotonous stuff that I have to do every day for my business (marketing, lol), I will try to use this time every day from now on to focus on my beingness.

@Carl-Richard I appreciate your answer. I worked on my top 10 values during the Life Purpose course, but they could use some more contemplation work. You and @Miguel1 make a good point that I see that the truth of more now. If I want a deeper sense of meaning in my life, now that I have increased executive control, then I should do things more aligned with my top values and purpose. Not just force myself to do shit I don’t love for it’s own purpose (although I think there’s a time and place for that too).

@Ishanga Ah, ok I understand what you mean better now. I think I read about what you explained somewhere in the CWG series. I am very much focused on the material right now, and I do struggle with being. I’m currently reading The Book of Not Knowing. Maybe that will help me a little bit, but in general I believe that the being aspect will have to stay lower-priority for me right now, as I’m working on getting my survival in order. Do you believe that getting access to BEING should be my no.1 priority, despite being more focused on survival at the moment? I’m not asking because I’ll blindly follow your advice, but I’m just interested in your perspective on balancing being and survival.

@Ishanga So you say I feel depressed, because my software is to feel depressed when I don't procrastinate. Which could be translated as saying I feel empty when I stop induldging in my addictions. But, when my software changes (I stop being addicted) via the passing of time and getting used to the new patterns, then the insight will truly be and feel empowering. Did I understand that correctly?

@Miguel1 Yes it would be helpful, but I think that's not the reason in this particular case. My state directly correlates with the insight I had. It's almost like what I'm facing now is just the emptiness I usually avoid by procrastinating.

I can’t prove my claims but I know with certainty that it’s true, via experience.

This training discussed in the podcast below fundamentally changes the way the body functions. Below 1% of the people on this forum have any idea in which way it does that. It’s completely different from anything else you’ve done before. I know this through direct experience. This is a paradigm shift in how the body functions. Some people’s bodies work this way without the training. Usually, these people are world class athletes.