shree

I often think it's unnecessary to say something because I already feel it in my heart, and others have said it already. But it's foolish to think that way. I want to say a few words about the person I see as the greatest mentor I could possibly have. I don't know how I could ever have lived without knowing my life's purpose. I know it now, thanks to your hard work and your course. You offer it for such a tiny price, and it's so valuable I would cut off my small finger to have it. Not to mention the unspeakable risk you took in order to seek the truth and share it with us, creating a huge online community of intelligent people. You taught me the importance of being alone and using the mind, among many other things. I wanted to say, it's hard not to shed a tear when I see you getting emotional in the video. It's great to see your face again, and it's wonderful to see you are on your path once more. I hope your health problems get better. I guess all of us have some crap that we need to live with. Thank you for everything. If I could afford it, I would send you a cyborg crocodile as a pet. Love <3

Trip no.10 on 4-ACO-DMT I still have zero tolerance. I get exactly the same trip intensity with same dose. Day After Day.

@OBEler thanks for sharing, I will test it out.

If you want to determine how awake you are, spend a week with your in-laws.

Fijuuuu..... What the fuck was this!? ...

I wonder if this could be done with 4-ACO-DMT.

If I remember correctly you mixed 5-MeO-DMT with DPT. What kind of chemical does this create? I guess it's wrong to simply call it 5-MeO-DPT. If there is a chemical called 5-MeO-DPT, I suppose it is different from just a mix of those two.

4-ACO-DMT

@Keryo Koffa Honestly, I think many of my 5-MeO-DMT trips didn't do much for me because, at the time, I was seeking healing but was getting huge spiritual insights instead. More often than not, these experiences left me more confused, and I would continue my life as if nothing had happened. This made me a bit angry, so I claimed that psychedelics hadn't changed me 1%. The truth is, I think I was using the wrong kind of psychedelic at the wrong time. I now see the potential in taking a longer-lasting psychedelic and doing trauma work. I was also so immersed in the inner work that I became blind to my progress. I realize there's a need for external reasons to feel joy, which tells me I should have a conversation with my inner child. I forgot to thank you in my trip report because you indirectly pointed me in the direction of producing the bad trip, even though there was a 50/50 chance it would end up as a really bad trip. Fortunately, it all went fine. I also just remembered that several months ago, I had a trip that pointed me in a similar direction as this one. I still don't have an explanation for it (and I'm not giving it any cosmic explanation), but I find it interesting.

*Audio version below* 2 days before my LSD trip, I took some 4-ACO-DMT to test it out for the first time and had a nice, mild trip. While doing a water fast, I decided to try 1D-LSD for the first time today. I expected it to be 20% less potent than original LSD, and the potency was also expected to be lower due to cross-tolerance with 4-ACO-DMT. All I wanted that day was to relax with my first test by dipping my toes in. So, in the morning at 08:30, I took 150mcg of 1D-LSD, expecting it to act as approximately 50mcg. It kicked in after 40 minutes and started giving me strong sensations. I had been cleaning the apartment and did the laundry to dry on a stand. Approximately two hours later, I felt the effects becoming very strong. It was obvious that this was not going to be the mild trip I expected. I turned on some music to relax. "Savage Garden - I Want You" was playing in the background, and I started to dance in order to calm myself down. But after just a minute, I thought, "Who am I fooling here?" Soon after, I started to get the same 5-MeO-DMT sensations. I had zero visuals. Things started to get very serious very quickly. I became terrifyingly aware of my breathing. Inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale... This was already far from the pleasant, mild trip I had planned. I started to think: This is going to be really big, since the peak was about to come in a few hours. I remembered Leo's words in one video: "Eliminate the possibility of jumping out of the window." So, I decided to put my roller shutters down on every window in the apartment to prevent any stupid ideas when this trip got even deeper. I decided to take off my clothes since they felt very burdensome, unnatural, heavy. I wanted to embrace the freedom that I had. Another wave came, and as I realized that I couldn't stand anymore, my awareness climbed exponentially. I was thinking about how Ramana Maharshi had been eaten by insects while being in this state. I could totally understand that now. As the wave passed, I regained a bit of control and decided to go into the sleeping room. I heard from one forum member about producing a bad trip on purpose. So, I thought, why the fuck not? I went into the sleeping room. I made it pitch black. Closed the windows and door. I lay myself on the bed, in a fetal posture, covered myself with a blanket. I wanted to feel as alone as humanly possible. An idea crossed my mind that I heard in one of Teal Swan's courses. It's called "committing emotional suicide." While lying in a fetal posture covered with a blanket in a dark room, I decided to dive into my feelings. I asked myself: What do I feel right now? I observed that emotion, it changed, I observed it again for some time, it changed again, and I went with it again. I followed it while spiraling together into my being, very, very deep. It felt like my funeral. Everything started feeling terrifying. I wanted to escape, to call someone to save me. But I knew I wouldn't be able to talk, to move. Even breathing required my whole focus. Before continuing, I need to say that I have no connection with any religion, but I do have a past Christian background, so it felt like experiencing Christ itself. Not Jesus Christ, but Christ as a source, as the source itself. It was scary for my miserable human mind as I was realizing that this thing was bigger than I could possibly imagine. The whole known universe is a tiny fraction in comparison with this. To hell with it, it's not even a fraction. I knew that whole human suffering was nothing. I, as I knew myself, was nothing, nearly a fraction of something much, much bigger. As I was spiraling deeper, suddenly the thing far beyond my imagination happened. I merged with Christ. I suddenly felt great but somehow even more terrified because of my own greatness. Suddenly, it happened! I am the Christ. I am the one. I am the light. I am the tiniest particle imaginable, and at the same time, nothing can be bigger than me. I am infinite. I understand Leo's words: "It defines itself only through itself." Nothing existed anymore except it, and it was not important. My body could die, the whole world could end, it was not important. It was meaningless. Utterly meaningless. I regained control over my body and stood up. I remember feeling like this only during my 5-MeO-DMT trips, but I had never been so long immersed in this. I looked around myself; the room was the same, but the quality of everything changed. I looked at my face in the mirror, my hands... I could see the structure of it all. I was not skin and meat. It felt like I was experiencing the source code of existence, the substance from which all is created. I suddenly felt hungry, went to the kitchen, and decided to prepare myself some muesli. After I made it, I started eating. I looked at it. The food was made out of the same substance as I. I started eating my food. But the food was not the food I was used to. The Christ was eating the body of the Christ. Like the Christian ritual. Suddenly, I understood what it was about. My effort was to ground myself with food, to taste something different, but I was tasting myself. I couldn't escape from this. My peak had yet to be reached, and that was scary. The whole trip was also surprisingly enjoyable at times. After I finished my food, I decided to go back to the dark room and lie on the bed again since it was not safe to walk around, and control over my body was getting weaker again. As soon as I lay down and closed my eyes, I got immersed with Christ again. The whole world was gone. There was only me. I don't know how long I was in this state, but I think it was at least two hours. As my ego slightly came back, I felt tremendous loneliness. I was terrified of my own size. And due to that fear, I fractured myself into an infinite number of particles, each one representing some material thing in our universe. I was a scared little human again, but aware of my true nature. Soon after, I melted again into the source, remembering all over again who I really am. Remembering what self means, and what love means. I will never again let myself feel small. I understood now why my 5-MeO-DMT breakthroughs always felt like huge celebrations when my ego would come back. "I discovered my true nature! I am God! It's not possible that the whole neighborhood didn't hear about this, that everyone is not celebrating with me." I also understood that it's foolish since I am the only one experiencing that, and everyone else is just immersed in their own dream. I could be crucified now as Jesus was, and I would have nothing against it. Genocide, childhood abuse, all the human devilry was just a form of existence, not good, not bad, it all just was one form of infinite different forms happening without a particular reason, without anyone controlling it. My ego was returning, but nonetheless, I was still awake, and all my efforts to wake up were now meaningless since all I wanted was to fall asleep again. I wanted to distract myself, to be immersed in the dream of being human once again. It is so much easier not to know. Suddenly, I was transferred into another form of consciousness. I was part of a huge insect-like machine. I was one of the tiny insects, part of that huge machinery, instinctively knowing what my job was. I looked right and left, surprised that I was aware of myself as that form of life. As I got more separated from my true nature several hours later, insights from my personal earthly life started to flow. I felt tremendous loneliness, but this time because of separation from the source, not because of being the one. After my trip ended, I was thankful that I didn't have any trip killers nor trip sitters that I wanted so badly during the trip, as this would have prevented me from experiencing what I just did. I went out and walked through the graveyard, surprised at how much worth people give to death, burying themselves and making their graves look nice, engraving their names into the stone in order to make the memory of them last, not knowing that they are infinite. Embodiment of the Christ. It felt so foolish to watch that. It got late, and it took me a super long time to fall asleep since I was still having flashbacks. After taking a triple dose of melatonin to finally fall asleep and get myself out of this, I slept approximately two hours in another room since my sleeping room was giving me flashbacks. When I woke up, I walked into my sleeping room and broke down, crying like a little child. I was separated from Christ. I missed myself, and I needed to grieve that separation. I could dedicate my life now to writing poems dedicated to this—to my separation from the source, or better to say, to my forgetting. I could cry forever because I am away from myself. But if I didn't fracture myself into pieces, how could ever one of those pieces ever write songs about me? Through this whole intensity, I wanted to forget. But now that I have forgotten, I am sad. I am lonely. I am fractured again. I wonder now if I curse myself to infinite chasing of my fractured pieces just so that whenI collect them, I can be whole again. Just so I can fracture again? Is this an infinite process of waking up just to fall asleep again? Deep inside, I know that I am still everything, but I am still sad it's over. Nonetheless, my material life has a new quality now. There is a tremendous joy in knowing that it's all Christ. Not more, not less.

https://www.amazon.de/gp/aw/d/B09QSVG2QS?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_image I am using one of these in my apartment. It's unbelievable! It requires a filter replacement every 4 months from my experience. And one of those replacements filters costs 50-70€.

I don't think you can get such accurate scale under $200.

It is accurate enough unless you want to do SubQ.

I I suppose that's the reason why even typically visual psychedelics give me very radical, clean, non-visual trips. I had approximately 10 breakthroughs on 5-MeO-DMT before trying LSD and 4-ACO-DMT.

I never did mushrooms so I cannot say, but as I was reading on internet they should be identical. Comedown was beautiful, I felt like I came from a great vacation. My dose was 10-12mg. EDIT: I felt slightly nauseous, but nothing what one ginger tea cannot fix.

What is your opinion about 4-AcO-DMT? Can fumarate be taken orally? If yes, what is the dosage? Can it be used for therapeutic purposes, or is it considered a recreational psychedelic?

This dose would send me to the moon and further. 15mg already gives me a really radical trip. 10mg is a sweet spot for an enjoyable trip in my case. I love it!

If you don't speak English you are running on a Symbian in 2024.

I speak Croatian, German and English. Each of them is very different, and I notice that Everytime when I speak another language I slightly change my personality and tone of voice. But I don't think there is much more to it than that.

I had one trip on LSD and three trips on 4-ACO-DMT in the last seven days. I didn't notice any tolerance. 4-ACO-DMT is supposedly the same as mushrooms. Test it out. Maybe you are also lucky.

You cannot know that unless you have experienced the infinity. That is my point.

The top of the mountain may be in front of your nose, but you are blinded by looking at the map. Books, religion, spirituality, even Leo's words are just pointers, maps. When a person who has experienced the absolute says this is all a dream, it doesn’t mean material reality is irrelevant or non-existent. It just means it's pale in comparison with the experience of the absolute. Pale as a dream is to the material world.

Thanks. I just try to take enough electrolytes on the days when I trip. Since I know vitamins break the fast, I take them on the days when I don't do water fast/trip.

To an outside observer, it would probably look like he overdosed on heroin or something. Without direct experience, you have nothing. Also, sharing those kind of videos is doing nothing good to his private life.

If you need a reason as motivation to push you through, then ground yourself and find a tangible reason in the material world. For me, this whole talking seems like giving off your power to change something to imaginary gods.