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There are too many of them. I will merge them all into myself. Hold my 🍺

Check my public journal in the forum. I think one of my last posts explains it very well. If you want to go deeper into it, I suggest Teal Swan's Self-Love course and Patrick Teahan.

I remember asking Martin Ball if he had tried 5-MeO-MALT, and he told me he had tried 5-MeO-MiPT and had a very mild experience. He didn't seem impressed with it. I personally have never tried it so I cannot say anything from personal experience.

Just take some LSD. Something tells me you'll end up with a similar feeling. It feels like waking up from a well-designed dream, rembering it was all just YOU. Yes, it tends to make me feel nihilistic at times, as everything seems to lose its external meaning when you remember that it's all a projection of yourself. But in that nihilism, there’s also an opportunity to redefine meaning on your own terms.

I once awakened after biting off a small piece of skin from my finger and thoughtlessly spitting it on the floor, treating it as nothing. ( It's disgusting , I know ) But then I looked at it - it started to glow in its greatness - and I picked it up with care, experiencing the holiest thing that can exist. The thing so sacred you don’t even dare to speak its name (if it had one). The thing that could kill you in a single moment, without any effort. I fell to my knees in awe, becoming one with it. I felt the utter loneliness, and it made me want to cry. I am still learning to love this loneliness. @Javfly33 I know you made a similar post recently, and mine is inspired by it. I'm wondering how you learned to love it and would love to hear from others with direct experience.

Well, there's nothing shameful in it. I've had a several awakenings on 3 different substances and vape a relatively heavy amount of 5-MeO-DMT. Solipsism is not a question for me. I return to my material life every time, doing the same job, still not living my life purpose, and still not financially independent. I see it as healthy prioritizing. But that is off topic.

@Davino Cannot remove the tag. @Keryo Koffa That's another reason for me to get off it. Years ago, I deleted all my social media accounts, and now I feel like this has become a substitute.

@Someone here hi there Well, there is a point where I need to go to job and pay bills, awakened or not, that grounds me in material world quickly. But I see what are you aiming to, even tho, I just got some answers from "other" lol I will check that video again, thanks for the Suggestion! Honestly, I stopped chasing direct experiences since they are currently not aligned with my material life goals and make me highly nihilistic and lazy, so some chit chat about it is okay for me, even tho it doesn't address the issue directly.

Journaling can be therapeutic, but it's not a therapy. From my experience, inner child dialogue which can be very powerful. It's a form of journaling. Combined with a few other things it can make miracles in your life.

@Davino I'm not sure if I understand what you mean. Quit what? You can continue to self-actualize without this forum. If something no longer serves you, it's natural to leave it behind. By saying this, I'm not encouraging anyone to leave, I'm just unsure of what you're referring to.

@Butters As you previously described your situation with your father (if I remember correctly), he seems very emotionally immature. Chasing the love that you never got from him when you needed it most is a sign that you still haven't gone through your grief. I'm sorry to say this, but there is probably no way you will ever reach any depth with him. Maybe moving on is the best option, and working on the wound it caused you, as there's always a possibility that you'll search for that kind of unfulfilled love in others, which might lead to a few toxic relationships.

Maybe it's just a phase where everyone is at their own stage of wondering, "What am I doing with my life?" But everyone approaches it differently, partly due to the age gap. I also think that's natural.

@Davino great post! I’ve been thinking the same. And I want to add to this: Only a few seem to be doing the real work, while others just echo Leo's words or throw around big names and ideas to impress - basically pulling info out of their ass. I even wanted my account deleted because such things make me want to vomit. Then I had a unexpectedly heavy trip and realized, there’s nowhere else to tell about this, because, well, there’s literally no one else but me! 😂 How could anyone else understand this? So, I stayed. But your points about AI are spot on!

Man, I just love the warmth and compassion in your responses <3

A healthy romantic relationship doesn't require excessive energy to sustain. Having someone who loves and cares about you is incredible and can boost your efforts toward achieving your goals in life. Suppressing or "transcending" your natural sexual needs is misguided. Why would you want to do that? It's true that attachment isn't love, but that doesn't mean every relationship is just attachment. A healthy relationship exists when both people can live without each other, but choose to be together.

Awesome! Let us know how it goes.

With MALT, you can gradually increase the dose to reach a breakthrough. In contrast, 5-MeO-DMT either causes a breakthrough or not. Both can be super-intense at the right dose

Yes, sounds epic, but my current adventure level is already set to "extreme".

Probably 5-MeO-DMT, since it acts within a few seconds when vaporized, and the savagery it provides during the come-up is unparalleled. I sadly never got the chance to experience it by plugging.

I never got why people give 5-MeO-MALT these soft, feminine labels. At high doses, MALT tears you apart piece by piece until there's nothing left. 5-MeO-DMT, on the other hand, hits like a freight train - quick and unforgiving. In the end, both have the same vibe and will crush your ego hard when you hit the right dose.

Hi @jacknine119 If you were to ask me for advice on the root of your problem, I’d suggest giving ChatGPT a detailed rundown of your psychological condition. Let it help diagnose you and recommend five books that specifically address those issues. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but based on a few of your posts, it seems like you’re not fully aware of your deepest problems, which is why you're unable to work directly on them. You need to become an expert on your own psychology, weaknesses, and shadows.

I have a girl-friend who has been into me for a long time, and she’s bisexual. She told me that if we were together, she would even be open to bringing other girls into the relationship and wouldn't mind at all. Maybe you should set a goal for finding someone like that? Just make sure it aligns with your values.

What topic are you interested in?

Update on My Healing Journey This past week has been transformative for me. During my bike rides to work, I’ve experienced moments of pure joy and even an infinite, psychedelic-like feeling. Completely drug-free. It’s as if I’m unlocking new levels of happiness that I didn’t know existed. My connection with people has improved, my relationships feel much healthier, and my emotional self-control has reached new heights. Even occasional sadness now feels stunningly amazing. I’ve also finally found the source of my brain fog and lethargy, allowing me to do amazing weight training without any pre-workouts. Despite my car being damaged in a costly traffic accident and going through the worst belly pain of my life a few days ago, I’ve kept my balance. As Aerosmith says, "Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear. Sing with me, if it's just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away." That’s exactly what I’m doing - grateful for these breakthroughs and the progress!

I’ve decided to start a public journal here, not just to share my experiences but to document my journey of self-discovery and healing. My first post isn’t merely a trip report; it’s a deep dive into the layers of my psyche, exploring how my past, traumas, and inner work are shaping the person I’m becoming. I’m here to be honest, vulnerable, and to share the lessons I’m learning along the way. Let this be a space where we can all reflect, grow, and support each other on our paths. Feel free to comment if anything resonates with you or touches you in some way. Thank you for taking the time to read.