oldhandle

Is he done making videos? Been a while since an upload and he's usually active on this forum.

...right? If I take a true look at myself, I honestly think I have too much that is not organized right in my life to be thinking about dating. I haven't even been able to get through Leo's Life Purpose course yet. So, what do you think, should one date while everything is still not put together, or wait?

How's it going for you thus far?

Are you saying this pro or against porn? I can't really understand your wording.

They recommend going 90 days without sexuality so that you can reboot your brain, and not as easily fall back into sexual compulsion. It makes sense from a dopamine perspective. However, I am tired of failing, if I have a one night stand before I get to 90 days, great, I didn't jerk off or use porn, but I typically end up faltering and doing that a few days after as the "chaser effect" ends up happening and I crave sexuality. So now I've started dating a girl, and I don't want to wait 90 days to have sex with her, I mean, she just got me off an hour ago at my house (not sex but use your imagination how she did it). My thinking though, is if I actually DATE a girl, I can get rid of porn/nofap this way - my approach was wrong before because I would have one night stands, and then, when the sex wasnt available again, I'd falter and use porn/fap. But if I actually date someone, consistently, which I know, weirdly, is a kind of new concept for me, then I think I can put this type of sexuality that I don't want to do anymore (porn and one player sex) away for good. I am asking here specifically because it's not a nofap/quitting porn forum, so I'm sure people will criticize the nofap ideas, but I want multiple perspectives. Thanks!

Ok, well, even just a week at a time. Not for me. Not necessary to master my sex life.

You mean relative to porn?

Thanks, but I don't need to jerk off every day to "master my sex life".

Wtf happened, how could he have said that and now not believe it. Actually I'm stunned.

It's definitely, absolutely a backward step to have realized how bad porn is and then go nah, actually, jack off all the time, fuck up your dopamine receptors, why not

I can wrap my head around a random consumer in society, a non spiritual person thinking porn is no big deal and isn't damaging. It's still a bit difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that some people who think alcohol, weed, video games, internet addiction, social media are all bad, who have studied many spiritual traditions, who have an understanding of dopamine and brain science... I'm still kinda unsure how some people out there that fit this description still don't recognize porn is really terrible.

People who say porn is not damaging are going to look like the people who said cigarettes aren't damaging - eventually the evidence will become so undeniable and there will be so many cases of extreme damage due to porn (like the video I linked above that you ignored) that only absolutely hopelessly addicted in-denial people will still say porn is not damaging.

I'd say this is relevant too: https://www.manual.co/health-centre/erectile-dysfunction/porn-induced "The truth is that higher numbers of young men seem to be experiencing erectile dysfunction – with around one in four new ED patients now under 40 years old. To begin with, one 2011 Italian study of 28,000 participants looked at the role of porn use on male attitudes to sex. It found evidence that high porn consumption can cause low libido in young men – and, ultimately, an inability to get an erection. Similarly, a review with clinical reports investigating the neuroscience behind the link between sexual dysfunction and pornography considered a range of medical theories into the phenomenon of PIED. It speculated on pornography’s impact on dopamine levels – and suggested that pornography’s hyper-stimulating quality triggers incredibly high levels of dopamine. In this way, it becomes addictive, but also makes real sexual experiences feel a little underwhelming. Finally, one sensational 2014 study found a possible link between the number of hours of porn watched and a reduced quantity of grey matter in the sections of the brain associated with sexual stimulation."

I'm not saying everyone who watches porn will end up like this, but let's be real, without internet porn, this person could not have been possible:

So now you jack off to porn and feel better?

Literally never had that happen nor ever heard of it happening.

Maybe because when you go up to a girl solo, she doesn't see any social proof. If you are a well-liked member of a group and approach women within that, surely it's better odds?

What techniques do you use to divert your attention elsewhere?

Am I missing something, why did you quote your own posts that you already said?

I haven't fully understood the spiral dynamic stuff yet, but hasn't Leo left stage green yet still thinks this?

This is totally true and I can also that I think dating apps for those recovering for porn, while at first the man can think "oh, I'm leaving porn behind and trying to find a real woman" - the constant feed of new and novel girls on the apps feels a lot like porn used to and to those men (including myself) I suggest trying to meet women through approach in real life instead. I know this is a bit of a change of topic, but hope it makes sense.

Do you think it's innate that some people just get bigger dopamine rushes with sexuality and therefore have more likelihood toward getting addicted? What causes such variance?

I suppose I agree, being a fuckboy is not good either.

This is a fun post, I am entertained, but I don't know if I understood it

Thanks, I appreciate the response.