Cornelia Watford

Reality isn’t a riddle. You know you’re a center of awareness. It’s self evident. You are the experiencer of the experience. Ego is an emergent construct used to interact. But the center itself is simply the awareness of anything at all. The only thing I could possibly need to prove to you is that I’m not an extension of you. And that’s inevitable given enough time.

You already know yourself as a center of awareness. That’s the one thing I don’t need to prove to you. The center is the active experience. You are the observer at the center.

To be conscious is to be a center of awareness. The universe is a collection of multiple centers of awareness. The universe isn’t conscious. We are.

You’re correct. It’s their relationship with their perspective. If it affects them negatively, it becomes a mental illness. If it gives you anxiety, if it makes you bypass emotions, volatile behavior with other people, you will get a diagnosis.

IMO, there’s only one reason you should strive for it. Because you want to be able to connect with others at the deepest level. To truly see others as themselves. To not lose yourself in Unity states. To keep that contrast so you can truly live life and have a fulfilling existence. If you’re ready to accept permanent consequences in life. Because you don’t forget this life when you die. You don’t leave the universe. There is no escape. This is the beginning of your story of infinity. You are stuck here forever with everyone else here. And you have to take responsibility for yourself if you do this. And to truly see others, you have to see yourself completely. And there’s a lot more to you than you think. You have to manually clean it all up. Do hardcore “shadow work”. This is the most destabilizing thing you will ever experience. You get in that rollercoaster, you’re staying on the rollercoaster until you’re done. Integration is inevitable. The only way out is through. There’s no shortcut. If you’re okay with that? Dewit.

I feel like people like solipsism because there are no consequences. If you acknowledge other people are genuinely separate sources, you acknowledge everything you do does in fact affect other beings. This isn’t your private dream. And it means you don’t have a simple answer that you can play around with like a riddle. You have to take life seriously.

I don’t think the word god has any place in describing reality. We do not come from a singular source. So god is not that source. We come to the universe. The universe is a big shared construct between us. It is emergent. So that is the only thing I think anyone would reasonably call “god”. It is not conscious. It is us as a team. So I don’t think the word god is appropriate at this point. Especially because it is associated with a higher being or ultimate reality, which are both false. There’s no concept of a higher being. We are all equal. You are just as powerful as your idea of god is. But everyone else is too. They’re just as infinite as you.

I think it genuinely was nirvikalpa samadhi? I understand it’s a tall claim. But I can’t find any other term that matches my experience. Please help. I woke up in the middle of the night. I had intense anxiety and nervous system issues. I was trying to slow my breathing so I could try to sleep. And then it started to feel like a tunnel going up. I leaned into it. And it felt like I was disappearing. My memories and thoughts and capacity for words or any constructs at all fell away. I felt like I was dying. I felt like I was reaching a point of no return. But I kept going because I was kinda depressed at the time, and had no reason to hold on. And then I went into infinity. One with everything. Complete ecstasy. The feeling of absolute relief of all attachments. No self. And it felt like I knew everything. It felt like I became the entire universe. And then the most complete absence of everything possible. No experience or memory. Like anesthesia. No episodic memories, but there’s still some sort of intuitive “memory”? Afterwards I didn’t have the words to explain the experience or the perspective I gained. But it existed as like, instinct. It felt like experiencing the underlying structure of reality. It’s like you experience ego death -> unity -> absolute isolation. Like you become one with everyone else. And then you become fully alone. It’s like you become your full stream of potential. But you don’t actually experience anything because you were only pure potential in isolation. I don’t remember the week or two afterwards. And it was very destabilizing. It took me 6 years to get back to “normal”. I had to manually build my entire identity and reconcile my understanding of how reality works. At this point I have like, a complete unshakable like, understanding. I’ve integrated the experience and now I feel stable. From my perspective, it is clear reality is relational and emerges between distinct beings. We are not all one. We are interdependent. We create the universe together. I know that’s the opposite of most spiritual teachings. But genuinely, it is the most self evident truth you could ever possibly experience. If you experienced it, you would understand. Is this actually nirvikalpa samadhi? It’s a serious question. Because I went past Unity into a complete absence that ”destroyed” my identity and understanding of reality completely. And that doesn’t match preexisting systems afaik, specifically because it is the opposite of “all is one”. There’s no way someone experienced this if they don’t understand plurality at the most fundamental level. I’m not super educated in this stuff. But I’ve casually been trying to read about different spiritual systems to understand my experience. I am a skeptical atheist who really appreciates science. And I know this experience is compatible with scientific understanding. Everyone can experience it theoretically. It just seems difficult. Edit: Here is how I think reality works 1. Plurality is fundamental. Reality is not all One. It is many irreducible Beings. Each is a center of presence that cannot be reduced to matter, fragments, or parts of a universal consciousness. 2. Relation is co-primordial. Beings themselves are irreducible, but structured experience only arises through relational contrast. Experience does not occur in isolation. Relation does not erase the Beings involved, because it presupposes them. 3. Identity is emergent. A Being in abstraction has potential, but no differentiated self. Sustained relational interaction, leads to coherent forms, and identity emerges as a patterned history of relational interactions. 4. Nondual or “absolute” states are coherence peaks. Experiences of unity or loss of self are temporary reductions of internal contrast within a Being’s experiential field. They do not prove metaphysical oneness. They are peak coherence states followed by reintegration and *increased* differentiation. 5. Large-scale relational density produces stable structures. Spacetime and physical regularities are emergent patterns arising from massive relational convergence. Laws are stabilized relational patterns, not proof of ontological unity. 6. Unity is emergent coherence, not identity collapse. Beings can achieve high compatibility, resonance, and structural alignment without ceasing to be distinct. tldr; Reality consists of irreducible plural Beings whose identities and experiences emerge through co-primordial relational contrast, with unity understood as stabilized coherence rather than ontological collapse.

And we’re all stuck in the same reality together forever. See you later.

That’s how I know we are not the same being. I know myself at the deepest level c:

Yeah. It’s like pure “you”. And when you come back to the world, you can see that you are not alone because of that contrast. You experienced full unity and then full separation, and then come back to regular life. You experience both ends of the spectrum. Plurality is fundamental c:

You could be. Either way, you are still an individual being c: I know I am not you, because I know what it’s like to actually be alone with myself. Nirvikalpa Samadhi. You and I are separate observers. You can experience it too. You can know yourself just as deeply. And you’ll see why plurality is obvious.

Okay c: thank you for clarifying.

Why do you feel this way? Is it because you actually believe it, or is it because it’s what you’re told?

This is my only account and it’s clearly not AI.

The reason why existence is beautiful is because we are together. We are having a shared experience.

The universe is an emergent construct that exists between us. The universe is where we experientially “become one” but we are not the same source. The universe is how we experience each other.

The thing is, I feel like you guys are the ones experiencing the illusion of oneness. From my perspective, we both went to Unity. But from my perspective, you came back to ego. But I continued to isolation. And then I came back to ego. Like I can completely understand why you would think all is one if you only experienced unity. But that’s not the whole story.