Tenebroso

Masculinity is doing as you please unapologetically while taking complete responsibility. In my eyes, this has little to nothing to do with being a good person, protecting, morality. If a man's honest instincts lead him to honestly being a good man without looking for approval great but I don't believe there is some kind of positive morality inherent to true masculinity. This is uncomfortable for society to accept.

Does this work for the everyday regular guy? Of course the handsome man in a Hollywood costume drama is going to be alluring to anyone he is staring at.

Men watch more porn but Women apparently watch more hardcore stuff. I think Women are potentially more sexual but they find a small minority of men attractive, so don't always have the desired outlet for their sexuality.

This could be a post in itself, applying Reality Transurfing to dating. Maybe excess potentials explains why men less concerned with being a good man or doing the right thing do so well with women. The lack of importance but it's hard to fake that kind of non neediness.

@Emerald Thanks for your detailed, patient responses to me, you have been very helpful.

Wasn't quite sure how to respond to this. This is very kind, thanks for taking the time to respond in this manner despite my negativity. The bolded especially resonates, I do need to learn to trust and see with my heart.

I want nothing more. I love women.

THIS

What are these predictable conditions men should learn if they want to be more successful with women? If women's sexuality is so subjective, abstract and dynamic then why do some men manage to sleep with so many women that they lose count, can get into a relationship whenever they want, while other guys are seemingly invisible or repellent to women? If female sexuality is as you describe then there shouldn't be such a discrepancy between the sex/love life across the spectrum of men. Clearly attraction is not evenly distributed, there must be something those other guys have that makes them so successful with women. At university my flatmate was one of those guys, seeing about 7 women at once to the point they were fighting over him.

@Leo Gura Is it possible to give up entirely on sex, romance/love and still live a productive, fulfilling life? Have you ever known a guy who has done this?

@Princess Arabia Well I guess I have a lot of work to do emotionally and mentally. If there is no finishing line to developing self development, when do you become good enough?

Doesn't confidence need to be based on something? So I should stop wanting to date and ignore sexual desires?

How do you not be desperate when you only know rejection? Guys who are not desperate obviously have had romantic success and sexual experiences so they know they are attractive to somebody, so a rejection is not the end of the world for them.

Because I am human I have desires and want to experience many things. Is that so bad? Am I not allowed to want to have sex and have a love life? I find the people who say these things don't matter are the ones who have had all the sex and relationships they want and can honestly detach without resentment. It's like a person born into wealth telling you to not worry about money.

How do you get noticed? Often when I get advice, it seems that there is a basic assumption that you are able to get a date or even an interaction in the first place but as you have pointed out just being seen is a huge challenge.

@Leo Gura Leo do you believe there is someone for everyone? Are some guys doomed or in your experience, can every guy improve and become desirable to some extent?

Ok How do the vast majority of women actually think about men? What is not true exactly, among the things I am worrying about? That a small percentage of men are sleeping with thousands of women, stringing them along in situationships and damaging them emotionally. Leaving them jaded and angry at men who can't even get a date. You deny this?

You claimed in your original post that men see you as sexual objects. That is blaming men and making a generalization. Is it not?

@LoseYourvelf I will respond when you can write a coherent sentence.

Doesn't matter what advice you give to your daughter, when the hot actor is in town she is going to go to his hotel to be sex partner 945, then go to social media and complain about commitment and fuckboys. Waste of time. Women have never had so much freedom and information, yet actively put themselves in obviously bad situations.

I value your contributions on this forum and you have been helpful to me, I also watch your youtube channel. However, I find it increasingly annoying how comfortable women just flippantly dismiss the male experience and perspective, while simultaneously asking men to open up and share. Which one is it do you want men to open up or only talk when it agrees with what you see. Is the female perspective the only valid one on modern dating dynamics. Across social media, women have the same complaints about fuckboys, players and a lack of commitment. While men consistently about not even being able to get a single date. So how do we reconcile these two things, well obviously women are completely absorbed by the minority of attractive men who are sleeping with thousands of men. I am not hurting women, cheating on them, being emotionally abusive but yet every woman seems to be experiencing this. So who are these secret men who must be doing something right in the first place to become involved with the women. I do not see why this is so hard to admit. Women basically expose this dynamic through the way they speak......"giving ugly guy's a chance"......."the guys I like, never like me back"......."tired of situationships".

@Dana1 Women are the selector, most men don't have the options to choose a woman. If it's your lucky day and a woman initiates sex or wants to date withh you but she turns out to be mean, for a lot of men they will aceept that because as a regular guy there is no guarantee you will ever have a woman show interest in you again. So many just accept any kind of women that comes into their lige. However, women actively choose players, bad boys and the most destructive men. They have the power of choosing who gets attention and overwhelmingly choose these kinds of men. Anything a short or ugly man does is bad. Attractive men have the halo effect, they are assumed to be wonderful even if there is evidence they are not, until they inevitable hurt a woman and men who have never been anywhere near a woman are blamed for things the hot fuckboys did. Even the way you talk about giving short, ugly men a chance proves my point and shows the power women hold over men. If you are a handsome, famous, rich man what would make any particular woman special above all the other women who think they deserve the absolute best.

@Dana1 Well who do you think those Female Artists are dating and hooking up with. Attractive, popular men with literally millions of options. Women have created their own romantic catch 22. The vast majority of men are considered not worth of sexy and/or romance; too poor, too unattractive, too short, too low status. What incentive do the few attractive men have to commit to anyone. This also proves that the things that women say matter kindness, emotional intelligence, making a woman feel safe do not really matter. Most men are invisible regardless of great they are on the inside. Women give all their attention to a few men and are surprised that those men have no incentive to commit or grow and be emotional available.

Very attractive men already do this but it's unspoken "don't ask, don't tell"..........I read recently that RFK Jr was found to have 43 mistresses at one point during his last marriage. Some guys live in sexual abundance that is unimaginable for most men.

Thanks for sharing. This could be it's own post especially bolded. As a guy who has always struggled with women, it's very striking to read this. I have always wondered what the guys who seem to attract women everywhere they go have, that I don't have. I seem to be invisible at best or even repulsive.